A Step on the Line
.
"Kei! There's a phone call from Tadashi-kun!"
'Oh, it's here,' Kei thinks. His shoulder stiffens and he puts down the pencil he was holding. Blinking his eyes one too many times, he jumps down from his chair and slowly approaches to the door of his bedroom.
"It's just a phone call," he assures himself. Yeah, just a phone call. But his very first one from someone outside of his family. It's not a phone call where all he does is to greet the person and say he's doing okay, and then giving the phone back to his mother. It's a phone call for him; where someone is actually there to communicate with him.
How terrifying.
He lets out a deep breath which he unconsciously held and turns the door knob. Lacing his fingers together, he takes agonisingly slow steps down the hall. The stairs down the hall has never felt this far before.
"Kei?" His mother's voice echoes once more throughout the house.
"I-I'm coming!" His voice cracks.
He had been expecting the phone call for the whole day since he gave his home's phone number to Tadashi yesterday. They agreed on working their group task in either of their house. So, Tadashi needed to ask his mother for permission and time in which he would be available. And of course, Tadashi is on the other side of the line to inform him of the schedule they'd eventually agree on.
But what should Kei say first when he answers the phone? Should he say yes, this is Tsukishima speaking? This whole house is a Tsukishima, so maybe mentioning his full name is a better idea? But then again, Tadashi calls to talk to Kei so wouldn't it be obvious the one to answer after his mother gives the phone would be Kei himself?
He presses a hand on his chest and he could literally feel his heart beating. Quick and loud. This is even scarier than having to sing in front of the class.
He strides down the stairs and his eyes meet his mother's, her grin wide like the first time Tadashi came to visit.
The way his feet takes its step carefully is a lot more interesting now so he puts his attention there instead. An exhales escapes him again and all he could do to make his heart calmer is to clasp his hands together.
So, first he would introduce himself―his surname is enough because Tadashi should be able to tell it's his voice and it's just formality anyway. A light greeting would follow before Kei should ask him about the schedule. Tadashi would tell him his available time. They say their goodbyes and his very first phone call with a friend would be done!
Perfect.
Now phone call maybe isn't as scary as long as Kei breaks down the things he'd need to say in steps.
He stops right in front of his mother and accepts the phone offered to him. He inhales sharply.
'Okay, introduction first!'
"Hello, this is Yamaguchi speaking."
There is a short silence from the other side of the line, and suddenly he hears giggles from both his mother and Tadashi.
And only then he realises he had messed up his first line.
.
Tadashi sits in front of his desk and opens the cute notebook he bought years ago. It is a bit smaller in size compared to his usual school notebook, but thicker with rings binding the papers. There are intricate lines on the hard cover with bright colours. It had been kept nicely in the bottom drawer of his desk together with a few cool sticker sheets he bought but never used either.
But since this is a special occasion, a special thing! He wants the book to be special too.
The first page is using different kind of paper, smoother than the rest. It doesn't even have the lines across the page. It's just blank and white.
Tadashi taps his favourite pen to his cheek and thinks about the best thing he could put on this page. His tongue poking out a bit from concentration and suddenly he brightens.
There's a tug on his chest that stops his right hand just as the tip of his pen is about to touch the book. It's a cute notebook that he can't bear to use all this time, and what if he makes a mistake? He shakes his head and knits his eyebrows. He's going to make this the best book ever, so there's nothing to worry about.
And so, he starts writing in hiragana.
Tadashi's Diary about His Very First Best Friend Tsukima Kei!
Tadashi grins proudly and straightens his back. The writing is indeed slanting a bit without the line helping him, but it's not too much and he manages to keep the words in the same size this time! The ink from his pen is flowing well either, which relieves him.
He raises the book and reads it inside his head to appreciate his fine work.
'Oh no,' he gasps, 'oh no oh nonononono.'
Of course it's not going to go that smoothly. He scratches his head and takes his pen again, quickly striking through the mistake he made on Kei's name and writes the correct spelling right under it.
Even though he promised he'd make this the best book, he still managed to mess it up.
He frowns, what would Kei do in this situation? Kei is so cool so maybe he would not regret over what's been done. He hums and agrees that the first step of becoming cool like Kei is to stop moping around.
He turns to the next page, gripping his pen―he fills the first entry with how he met Kei three weeks ago.
.
Tadashi is not a morning person. He would wake up late in the noon without his mother yelling at him or his alarm blaring through his room.
But there are days when he would wake up a lot earlier than his planned time. For example: his first day entering school, days of his field trip, on holidays when they're visiting their relatives outside of Miyagi, on the first day he's going to wear a new shoes to his volleyball practice.
And today, Tadashi finds himself awake at four in the morning. In his friend's bedroom. For a reason more gloomy than waking up the first time on sleepovers.
His mother had always told him he had bad sleeping habits. Kicking blankets, turning 180 degree in his sleep, sleep talking, snoring and worst; drooling.
He regrets ever agreeing on the sleepover.
He shouldn't have refused, that way Kei wouldn't have found out. And look at what his over excitement causes. Now Kei would not want to be his friend anymore. He prayed last night so he wouldn't wake up on a wet patch on Kei's spare pillow today and look at how betrayed he is by this.
He rubs over his wet cheek and glances over to Kei, who's still sleeping soundly on his bed, thick blanket wrapping him warm. Tadashi looks down to his own mess of a futon lent to him and wonders how Kei can be so different from him even on such a small subject like sleeping habit.
Tadashi sobs and tries to hold back chokes, not wanting to wake his friend up.
But unfortunately for Tadashi, Kei is a light sleeper.
"Tadashi? Are you awake again?"
Tadashi's sobs worsens as he hears Kei's groggy voice. Oh no, will he be chased out in the middle of the night? Does this mean he'll be walking to school alone again? No more visiting Kei's class to enjoy lunch together and no more playing games in Kei's house?
"Tadashi, are you ... crying?" Kei keeps himself up with his elbow and searches the end table for his glasses.
"Sorry, Kei-kun, sorry!"
Kei tilts his head in confusion and climbs down from his bed to Tadashi's futon. "What happened? Are you sleep talking again or are you actually awake this time? Is it a nightmare? Or is the futon uncomfortable?"
"N-no, I'm sorry Kei-kun. My mom already told me I have bad sleeping habits but I ignored it because I really want to do this sleepover!" He wipes away tears and snot with the back of his palm, "Kei-kun please don't hate me and still be my friend."
It's strange how seeing Tadashi cries like this doesn't irritate Kei as much as he thought it'd be. If this is other person crying in front of him, he'd sneer and walk away. But he has warmed up to Tadashi, enjoying his company and chatters and how he admires Kei makes him feel proud himself. Tadashi is also fun and the only thing he wants to do seeing his friend crying right now is how to cheer him up.
In the end, their ruckus wakes Kei's mother up and both of them tries to calm Tadashi down.
Kei promises he will not hate Tadashi for drooling on their pillow and waking him up on nights.
.
"Stop calling me Kei."
"B-but why? You said we can call each other's first names because we're best friends? D-does that mean, we are not best friends anymore, Kei-kun?"
"Not that, dummy! We are still best friends, but we are fifth grader now so we should stop doing that. I'm calling you Yamaguchi from now on."
"If ... if you say we're still best friends then ... then what about a nickname? I'll call you by a nickname. That will mean that we're best friends! Tsukishi―Tsu ... kki. Yeah, Tsukki. I'll call you Tsukki instead!"
"... Do what you want, Yamaguchi."
.
It's the first time Tadashi sees Kei that wrecked. He had seen Kei upset when losing or insulted (in which Tadashi always stood up to, because no one is allowed to insult Kei).
But this Kei is different.
This Kei refuses to talk even on their long walk home. And at the intersection where they usually parts, Kei only muttered he doesn't want to be home under his breath without even looking at Tadashi.
Tadashi nods and leads Kei by his hand to Tadashi's house. It is not as warm and big as Kei's house. But at least it's a better place right now for Kei. When they reach Tadashi's house, he gently pulls Kei into his room like usual. His parents are out working and should be home in a few hours, so he's thankful for that. He doesn't think Kei will appreciate people asking him about what happened.
Kei removes his backpack and flops down Tadashi's bed. Tadashi quietly squats down right next to his bed and hugs his knees.
"Tsukki ... do you ... do you want to be alone?"
Tadashi waits. For a sign, a nod, a quiet hum. He isn't expecting Kei to answer him vocally, he knows those days when talking takes too much of his energy. He waits, and what he gets is a tug on his shirt.
So, he stays.
.
It is Tadashi who pulls Kei back into volleyball in middle school.
Kei had quit the youth team after Karasuno's match last spring. Tadashi hesitated at first but followed after Kei and quit too. Kei commented nothing on it.
Entering middle school, Kei yet shows his disinterest in joining volleyball club, or any club for that matter.
Tadashi knows he needs to give his friend a space after what happened. It was a big shock to him, being lied to by his own brother who he trusts more than anything. But Tadashi decides a year of running away is more than enough.
Kei still loves volleyball. Even after quitting and vowing he's never playing it again, the ball is still in his room, also the training shorts and sports magazine and kneepads.
And so, at the beginning of the school year, Tadashi pulls out a paper and gives it to Kei when they're walking home from their school.
"Tsukki, this is the volleyball club application form. I've handed in mine this morning. Practice starts tomorrow, so I'll be going home late tomorrow on." The paper he holds is ignored. Kei's only staring at it without pulling out his hands from his pockets.
"If you want ... no, if you still like volleyball, even just a little, you should not give it up. Do you still like volleyball, Tsukki?"
Kei's answer never comes.
The walk home alone feels far longer and boring without Kei around. There's no one to listen to his stories, or just a calm presence on his side. But at least it only lasts a week.
.
yama_tadashi: tsukki
yama_tadashi: i hate my life
Sent 7:19 am
tsukishima_k: You say that every morning
Sent 7:20 am
.
yama_tadashi: tsukki wake upppppppp
Sent 7:21 am
tsukishima_k: You should say that to yourself
Sent 7:24 am
.
yama_tadashi: tSUKKI I HAD A COOL DREAM LAST NIGHT
yama_tadashi: I'LL TELL YOU LATER OK
Sent 7:17 am
tsukishima_k: Sure just don't trip yourself in the bathroom for being too excited (lol)
Sent 7:17 am
.
yama_tadashi: don't forget to bring your essay tsukki
Sent 7:20 am
tsukishima_k: K
Sent 7:22 am
.
The class already covered this topic last term. But he is still dumbfounded when it actually happened to him.
When the teacher was explaining about it, he remembers how the boys in his class being all excited and whispering, which was kind of pathetic. The girls were either complaining about how loud they were and disturbing the class or just sat quietly with flushed cheeks.
(He recalls Tadashi was one of the quiet ones, sometimes laughing dryly when his friend bumped his shoulder.)
He thought that it's pretty stupid how people would be so obsessed with it to the point of fantasising and dreaming it. And waking up this morning with a wet patch on his underwear, makes Kei feel just like those pathetic boys in his class.
At least he's not constantly thinking about it, his body is just ... changing and this is just one of it. It's normal; it's what happens to everyone.
But that's not what bothers him most.
It never crosses his mind whenever they are in the same changing room, or just Tadashi changing out of his uniform to his pyjamas during sleepovers. But apparently his sub consciousness memorises each and every part of those moments and materialised it inside his dream.
His dream was a blur but he wouldn't mistake that freckled skin anywhere. Or that line of dots on hips and stomach.
He buries his head on his pillow and groans.
.
It's around their third year that Kei is starting to worry.
One time Akiteru's home when Tadashi visits, Akiteru mentions about how his best friend is catching up to Kei in height. His brother points out how Tadashi is a lot taller since they last met.
Kei feels upset because he isn't the first one to notice how their height gap is closing in. It had to be his brother who pointed it out to make him realise Tadashi is now reaching his ears.
Ever since then, he puts more attention on their height difference. Tadashi's suddenly reaching his eyes, then his eyebrows. Their height is closing in even faster thanks to Tadashi's massive growth spurt.
Sometimes Tadashi complains about being sore all day and itchy lower back and thighs.
He's restless because now he's looking at Tadashi almost on the same eye level. He likes it when his friend boasts to other people about how tall Kei is and being proud of it. He tells him to shut up every time because it's embarrassing, but he likes it regardless.
It's hard to measure how tall exactly Tadashi is lately because they're too close in height now. He tries to do it without Tadashi noticing for example like walking close to his friend on their way home. But he keeps failing.
And since he's giving Tadashi a lot more attention lately, there's another factor that he realises is holding him back from secretly measuring their height.
His friend has been slouching.
Most likely since Akiteru pointed it out. He has been conscious of his own height just like Kei has been about Tadashi's height.
Yes, it bothers him thinking Tadashi could be taller than him one day and he'd be the one to look up while talking to Tadashi. But it bothers him even more that his friend isn't even confident of his own height when he is the one who keeps bragging Kei to anyone he sees.
Kei decides he'd rather have a giant Tadashi walking by his side than a slouching Tadashi not even looking to the front.
"Yamaguchi."
"What, Tsukki?"
"You've been slouching."
His shoulder tenses and he looks down, "H-have I?"
"Stop doing that," Kei lightly slaps Tadashi's back, "Straighten your back, raise your chin. You keep running your mouth about how cool I am for being tall, right? Now you get your chance to be cool, don't ruin it by walking with your head low."
Several minutes of walk in silence had convinced Kei that he's not a good advice-giver. But just as they are reaching Kei's house, Tadashi raises his head and puffs his chest out. Glancing over to Kei with straight back, he smiles, "Thanks, Tsukki."
Kei's lips twitch, trying to hide his smile, "Just don't expect me to go bragging about you to anyone I see."
When they get to Kei's house, his mother helps them measure their height.
Tadashi is taller than Kei by one centimetre.
.
tsukishima_k: Yamaguchi
Sent 7:31 am
tsukishima_k: Hey wake up
Sent 7:36 am
tsukishima_k: Yamaguchi
tsukishima_k: Yamaguchi are you awake
Sent 7:40 am
Missed call from tsukishima_k
7:40 am
Missed call from tsukishima_k
7:41 am
Incoming call from tsukishima_k
"... Tsukki? Morni―"
"Keep sleeping and you're walking to school alone!"
"Wha―oh crap I overslept! Be there in a jiffy, Tsukki!"
.
Maybe it is one of the benefits for knowing Kei for years.
Tadashi could even be called a Tsukishima Kei expert.
Kei likes dinosaurs and strawberry shortcake. Kei likes being praised and complimented. Kei hates going to festivals and losing.
When Kei is happy his lips would purse tighter. When Kei is upset, his smile is wider. When Kei is nervous, he would lace his fingers together. When Kei is embarrassed he would frown.
It is like solving a game. There are hints scattered here and there, and Tadashi is used to finding and translating them because it's a game he's been playing for more than five years. He's a pro.
And lately there are these clues that lead to nothing.
But Tadashi has his hunches on how to translate these hints.
It's probably a crush.
Kei would unconsciously walk closer to them. He would stare longer then he thinks they are not looking. He would slow his pace to match their steps.
He is not a hundred percent sure because there has been no confirmed sample in the past. Tadashi talked to Kei about his crush on their classmate on their fourth grade and Kei didn't seem to have any interest in it. So Tadashi can't make any theories basing on it.
But again, as a Tsukishima Kei expert, Tadashi could assure his assumption is 96.788 percent correct.
And what a coincidence; the sample suspect of Kei's first crush just happens to be Tadashi himself.
.
When Tadashi wakes up, he notices the unfamiliar surroundings. It is neither Kei's nor his own room. It's loud and cramped and―oh, he's in a bus.
He looks around and sees everyone asleep on their own seats, some people snoring loud and chokes on their own spit. Tadashi cringes and wonders if he also does that sometimes.
The road bumps and that's when he realises something is on his hand. When he looks down to it, he sees Kei's hand cupping over his; tracing small circles on the back of Tadashi's palm. Kei is looking outside the window, his headphone blaring music through his ears.
"Tsukki," Tadashi whispers but gets no response. He tries one more time but this time with the help of a tug from his hand, "Tsukki."
He had never seen Kei flinch harder than this.
"Yamaguchi, you're up," Kei stares at him with a deep frown and wide eyes. Kei's hand is already pulled back to rest on his own thigh. He regrets alerting Kei that soon, because now his hand feels empty and he doesn't like it.
He pulls back his hand and rubs it together instead. When Kei sets his headphone down around his neck, Tadashi asks, "Why are you awake?"
"Ukai-san swapped Takeda-sensei as the driver. And it got a bit loud when they did, so I woke up. Now I can't go back to sleep," he clears his throat, "Why are you awake?"
"I don't know," he cracks his neck and stretches his back, "bumpy road? Or just uncomfortable seat."
"Nice to know that's all it takes for you to wake up early," Kei snickers and earns himself a light slap on his shoulder.
The silence returns and all that is heard are snoring and light whispers from their teacher and coach sitting on the front. The steady engine running noise also fills the night.
Kei is back to observe the road, his headphone stays around his neck.
Tadashi stares at his own hand; the hand that Kei was just playing with moments ago. Then he looks over to Kei's hand which is just resting by his side. Exhaling softly, Tadashi worries his lip between his teeth and braces himself. He finds Kei's hand and links their fingers, successfully making Kei's whole body tense.
"On some days, I do wake up earlier than usual. On our sleepovers, or that one time in training camp, or in the bus." Tadashi mumbles through his words, but Kei is listening to him; giving him his full attention even though his head is still facing the road. "I know ... I know sometimes you hold my hand, or plays with my hair. I know, Tsukki."
Kei is still not turning to face him, so Tadashi swallows a lump in his throat and continues, "And really, I don't mind if you want to do it more often. I mean, when I'm awake, or whenever you want."
Finally, Kei turns to him with a blank stare and scoffs, "What was that?"
"I'm asking you out," Tadashi smiles playfully.
"Lame. That confession was so lame," was what Kei says. But he tightens the grip on their hands and smiles, his cheeks pink.
"But you accept it?"
"... Sure."
Tadashi snickers and feels warmth all over his body, "Even though you said it was lame."
"Shut up, Yamaguchi."
"I like you too, Tsukki."
.
tsukishima_k: Yamaguchi
tsukishima_k: Are you home?
Sent 8:03 pm
yama_tadashi: yep
Sent 8:03 pm
tsukishima_k: I'm coming over
Sent 8:03 pm
"You said that to Hinata?" Tadashi curls into a ball and laughs so much his stomach is hurting. His friend is probably thinking he's laughing at what a bonehead Shouyou is, but in all honesty; he's not. He's actually laughing at how Kei might have been thinking of what to insult Shouyou for the whole day before raining it all on Shouyou at the end of their traning. And not to mention, Kei is actually feeling proud that Shouyou ran away without being able to say a word back at him.
Kei is such a dork and god, Tadashi likes him so much.
"Hey, stop moving so much and pulling the blanket." Kei drags him back and fixes the blanket to warm them in their blanket fort.
Tadashi didn't expect him to just suddenly visit him after his training at Shiratorizawa today. It is weekday and it's late. Kei said he's not sleeping over, it's going to be winter soon and Kei said Tadashi's room is warmer.
He rests his head on his knees and giggles, "We got treated pork bun again today, too bad Tsukki wasn't with us. It's so warm and good"
"Are you sure you feel bad for me not eating it?" Kei raises his eyebrow and sneers, "I bet it's just you regretting you won't be getting half of my pork bun like usual."
Tadashi covers Kei's mouth with his palm and whines, "Tsukiiiii."
When Kei stops laughing, Tadashi pulls his hand away; but not all the way. His fingers linger and he traces the outline of Kei's face with them. He likes the way Kei halts his breath and blinks more than usual. His lips curve into a smile when he can see Kei frowning under his glasses.
"It's the right moment to kiss you, right?"
"Are you seriously asking?"
"Well," Tadashi shrugs, "It's going to be my first kiss and I don't want the memory of it is being slapped when I tried to kiss you."
Kei doesn't feel like answering so he leans in instead, ghosting over Tadashi's lips. Tadashi giggles and locks their mouth together. Kissing, to be honest, doesn't feel all that different from holding hands or leaning against each other. It's literally just ... touching.
But his heart beats a lot faster that he's worried Kei can hear it. His face warm in the cold weather outside. And maybe, it is a little bit different from holding hands.
People say first kisses taste like lemon soda and peppermint. But really, it's just oily strawberry scented lip balm.
Tadashi puts both of his hands up to Kei's ears, they're freezing and it satisfies him when they're slowly warming up when he rubs them. When Kei sucks in a deep breath from his nose, he peeks out from his eyes and is met with the black rim of Kei's glasses. He carefully removes them and is now met with fluttering eyelashes and golden irises.
Wow, even after knowing Kei for the longest he could remember, Tadashi had never seen Kei making this kind of expression. His breaths are quick, his lips glossy and wet, his eyes hungry, and his cheeks aflame. His expression is a combination of when he is being praised and people stealing his cake at the same time.
Tadashi could experiment in the future and see if Kei does make the same expression in that situation.
Maybe he won't.
But it doesn't hurt doing experiment.
"What are you smiling at?"
Tadashi is smiling? He doesn't even realise it himself. "Hm... just thinking about how I like your erotic expression."
"I'm not making any kind of expression. You are."
"Guess we both do."
.
School year will soon end in just a bit over a month. Being second years mean that they'll be the ones in charge for the next one year. The team gathers in the gym and sits in a circle. The third years say their farewell and some of them say they're still going to play volleyball in university.
When Chikara appoints Tadashi as the next captain, the only one surprised is Tadashi himself.
The third years agrees with his pick, the second years are nodding, and even the first years understand why Tadashi is chosen to be the next captain.
"But Tsukki is a lot better at managing things than me."
"But the team listens more to Kageyama than me."
"But Hinata fires up the team more than me."
Tadashi frowns and stares at disbelief when his friends don't seem to agree with him. Tadashi doesn't lead, he follows. Tadashi doesn't walk in the front, he's always at the back.
"You analyse the team's mood and condition and acts accordingly to what they need. I'm better at managing things, you're better at managing the team. You recognise their strong and weak points and give them advice based on those. They listen to the King because he's intimidating on the court, they listen to you because you're logical. You score those points we need by yourself and shout the loudest on the bench. Hinata fires up the team, but you raise their morale."
Kei gives him a light push on his back, "That's cool enough, isn't it?"
.
"Yamaguchi, let's do lewd things."
If Tadashi's drinking something right now, he'd have choked on it. And because Tadashi is currently playing his PSP, holding it in the air while lying on his back; he drops it on his face instead. The sound it makes when his console meets his nose is loud but surely Tadashi's yelp is even louder.
Tadashi quickly regains his mind and picks it back, "W-wait, Tsukki! You can't just suddenly blurt it out like that; I'm fighting a boss here!" His eyes dart between his PSP and Kei who is lying on his stomach just beside him, reading Japanese Literature textbook.
His fingers move fast to tap on the buttons; successfully dodging the tail flick the dragon sends to his character. He fails at dodging the next one though, automatically sending his character to his death from a series of attack from the dragon.
"Aaaaaaaahhhh!" Tadashi cries nearly jumping from the bed, then he flops back down with both hands above his head still holding the handheld console. He rests his eyes and sighs, "I lost. Again."
"You said you're going to win it alone this time without my help."
"I did! And I'll win it on my own! Just you watch!"
"That's what you say every time."
Tadashi pouts and peeks from the corner of his eyes, "Uhm... so, about what you said just now―"
"―if you want. I ... I mean, only if you want to do it too."
The bed creaks from Tadashi suddenly turning and putting his weight on his elbows, "I want! I want to do it too!"
Kei flinches and blinks at how Tadashi's face is suddenly just a few centimetres from his face in a second. It looks like Tadashi is way too excited about this and it's making Kei's cheeks and ears red.
Make out sessions and love bites on shoulder are usually all that they did. It has never crossed over to their lower half. Of course they've had boners from heavy make out. It happens, but they prefer to stop and letting it cool down over time or take care of it when they're home alone.
They've been friends since forever, being together every day for years and years makes them prefer not to rush things.
It doesn't mean they don't like the physical aspect in their relationship. Taking it slow, letting them savour each and every step they're taking. That's how they prefer it to be.
"So," Kei is the one who breaks the silence, "how do we start?"
Tadashi pretends to think, but he leans closer, "Kissing? Do the usual thing?"
It's just like their first kiss all over again. Light brushes against lips, soft touches and tugs on brown haired low ponytail. The bed dips low and their tongues tangled together, filling the room with wet noises and soft moans.
It doesn't take long before knee on crotch becomes hips joining and circling in rhythm. Groans and short breaths escape their mouth, nibbles on lower lip has become another way to hold back their own lewd voices.
The hunger is real and their palms are on hip and lower back and thigh; all just so they can get more friction even over their pyjamas.
They come a lot quicker than they expected. Because instead of familiar hands; it's unknown movements and thick scent and deep kisses. Instead of fantasised expressions and made up sounds, it's the actual person and lewd moans loud and clear right on their ears.
.
Kei doesn't like changes. He likes it when it's steady, all according to plan, tedious.
He doesn't like surprises on his birthdays, or cultural festival, or that time when Tadashi entered the volleyball club by himself leaving him to walk home alone, or that time when he entered the training camp and did his practice away from his team.
He wouldn't like it if they're dating and everything changes overnight; that's why a few weeks after them officially dating, it felt like nothing had changed.
He doesn't like changes.
He doesn't like the idea of going to a different town from Tadashi.
Or having different friend circle from Tadashi, or having different schedule from Tadashi, or studying different subjects from Tadashi, or not meeting him for a long time.
Light footsteps resound throughout the hall and Kei knows who it belongs to. Sometimes he wonders just how well he knows Tadashi to the point of recognising even the smallest and trivial thing there could possibly have.
"Tsukki?" A mop of unruly brown hair tied in a ponytail peeks out from the door. "Everyone's looking for you."
"Be there soon."
"What are you doing here?" Tadashi skips to Kei's seat and sits in front of him, putting his chin on both of his open palms. "I don't peg you as the type who'd sit in the empty classroom on graduation day reminiscing your high school years."
"I'm not doing that."
The attention is not on Tadashi but all on the crowd in the yard as Kei watches through his window. Most of them are either talking animatedly, or taking photos. Laughing and crying. Even sitting on the quiet third floor, their voice is loud enough to sound muffled from this distance.
Tadashi chuckles lightly, "I know. Not reminiscing but more like worrying too much about the future?"
This time Kei doesn't deny it.
"Tsukki," Tadashi lifts his hand and brushes his thumb on Kei's cheek, trying to grab his attention. "Tsukki."
Kei's eyes don't leave the crowd.
"It'll be fine. It may be different and weird not seeing you for more than a day or two. Harsh; because there won't be sleepovers or game nights or documentary nights. But I promise, Tsukki," Tadashi waits, waits for Kei to turn to him. To look him in the eye. But he doesn't.
"We'll be fine."
Kei hates changes.
But he hates it even more when Tadashi knows exactly what bothers him and eases him without even needing to say one word.
.
yama_tadashi: tsukki
yama_tadashi: it's only two weeks and i miss you already
Sent 9:43 pm
Kei looks to the top of his phone screen and the clock shows it's currently 10:27 pm. He was checking the schedule of his classes when the text came in. He immediately clicked on it. So of course it has been marked as read on Tadashi's phone since then.
He might have been checking his phone every now and then expecting a reply from Kei.
Kei isn't used to stuff like this, it was Tadashi who confessed. And now that he thinks about it, Kei may have never told him that he likes Tadashi too. But it still feels so foreign on his tongue, like the word doesn't really fit him. Because whenever he thinks about the word, it reminds him of school crushes and dreamy sigh or love letters. But it's never like that with Tadashi.
It's more of the comfortable silence and enjoying his laughs.
Tadashi is someone precious to him. Or someone he likes. Or any other word that might fit. Kei never says any of those words to him because it's just never needed. Because Tadashi knows.
Their texts are never about it either. It's just the same texts since forever. Maybe sometimes Tadashi would flirt with him but it's always on the teasing tone over the phone.
And being sent this kind of text now, Kei isn't sure what to say.
It's burdening him even more knowing that he won't just wake up, meet Tadashi in the morning and know everything's okay.
His phone is charging over the night, he doesn't reply.
yama_tadashi: tsukiiiiii
yama_tadashi: i woke up late and missed my morning class today (cry)
Sent 10:57 am
The next day Tadashi texts him as if nothing happened. And it relieves Kei that nothing changes over a text he never replied.
tsukishima_k: Set more alarms then
tsukishima_k: I won't be giving you morning call anymore after all
Sent 1:00 pm
yama_tadashi: yep
yama_tadashi: i'm setting 5 more alarms now
Sent 1:03 pm
Kei sometimes wonder if he's taken Tadashi for granted. Tadashi cares about him and even pardons his every action and even corrects him when he goes too out of line. Tadashi deserves a lot more from him.
He scrolls back to the text he received last night and gives time to think about it.
Does he also miss Tadashi? He does feel emptier commuting to and from the campus. The volleyball club isn't as fun either. The app on his phone, which only Tadashi plays, is not draining his battery like usual.
Kei smiles and types in his phone.
tsukishima_k: Yeah you should
tsukishima_k: Btw sorry for not replying last night
tsukishima_k: I miss you too
Sent 1:04 pm
.
"Yeah, and his belongings keep finding its way to my side of the room. And not to mention his voice is loud."
Tadashi's giggle resounds from his headphone, feeling so close to his ear. It sounds weird, hearing that sweet laugh sounding so close like whispers on his ears yet a tad bit different from how he remembers. "But, Tsukki, we both know you like him. He actually gives you space when you need it, he also appreciates your dinosaur collection when he found out, didn't he?."
Kei grunts and rolls his eyes, tilting his phone a bit higher so that the camera only catches the tips of his hair and the wall. That's what he recently found out about video calls; it's convenient. Not in the way that he can see Tadashi face to face and talking on real time (that is, too) but more in the way that he can hide his face while conversing and not being an open book for Tadashi to read.
"Are you blushing, Tsukki?"
Actually, he will still be an open book whether Tadashi can or not see his face.
Knowing he's right, Tadashi's grin stretches out on wide on his tanned skin. "Tsukki, show your face. It's not fair I don't get to see you."
Turning off the camera and being able to watch Tadashi intently without being seen sounds a lot more appealing, but he knows that's not fair for Tadashi. They haven't seen each other in months and this is their best choice of communication at the time. He enjoys being able to see Tadashi in video calls, and he figures Tadashi would feel the same.
So, Kei tilts his phone back and now it's capturing his face again.
He sees himself on the corner of the screen and ugh he hates being caught in the camera. When he looks back to the centre of the screen, Tadashi is now smiling wide with his cheek leaning against his palm, both elbows dipping on the bed. His legs swinging back and forth behind and his v-neck hanging dangerously low―giving a good view of his neck and chest.
Tadashi shifts a bit and god, now his nipple is even caught in the camera. Kei swallows a lump in his throat and feels blood rushing down to his crotch.
A hearty laugh rouses him and he snaps up to see Tadashi sneering at him, eyebrow raised. His lips curl up, "What are you staring at, Tsukki?"
Kei clicks his tongue and drops his phone on the bed, slightly bouncing. He scoots away from the headboard and pats the pillow. The soft pillow feels a lot more comfortable so he drops his head on it. "Shut up, Yamaguchi."
If he did not just accidentally turned up the volume when he lied down with his headphone on just now, then Tadashi's laugh is getting louder, " W-wait, what's that sound? Are you going to sleep? Sorry, Tsukki, don't just ignore your phone please, let me see your face!"
It takes only six seconds for Kei to finally hold his phone up again. Tadashi is now smiling in relief with his eyes almost closed. His hair is getting longer and becoming more of a mess, at least now Tadashi ties them up in a low ponytail daily. Tadashi licks his lips and he can't help but remember how much he likes them when it's swollen and red after they just made out in their room. It was hard, focusing on algebra formulas with it tenting in his pants. Sometimes they would take care of it, while most of the time they did not.
"Tsukki," Tadashi breathes, "Is your roommate there?"
Kei glances to the other side of the room; to the side of the room with clothes and books cluttered everywhere. And there, on the bed, is a man wearing only his boxers, snoring rhythmically with his blanket fallen to the floor. He should be grateful that Kei is his roommate. Not everyone appreciates their roommates being loud in their sleep.
Kei is used to it, so he's okay.
"Yeah, he's sleeping."
"You said he's a heavy sleeper―"
"No." Kei cuts him off, "I'm not risking my roommate to wake up to find me messing around with my boyfriend on video call. How do you think I'll be coming back to this room in the future if that happens?"
Tadashi pouts but nods regardless. "Okay, I need to sleep anyway. I've got morning class."
"You've got morning class and you're still awake at this hour. Are you planning on skipping the class again?"
"Of course not!" Tadashi yawns and rubs his eyes, "Good night, Tsukki."
"Hm... good night," Kei pauses and resumes with quicker, softer voice, "Tadashi."
The way Tadashi stays there frozen means that he had heard it. His eyes staring wide through the screen and he holds his breath. Colours rising to his face and turning his freckles visible in the shades. He moves his palm to cover his face, blinking repeatedly. His eyes dart around the and he seems to be steadying his breaths.
'Cute', Kei thinks.
But Kei himself might be in the same state as Tadashi right now.
Tadashi sucks in a deep breath and whispers, "Good night, Kei."
The way his heart thumps from that one line reminds Kei that it was not just his best friend calling him by his first name, but also his boyfriend.
.
When his roommate drags him to the local accessories store, Kei grunts because he hates too many stuff in such a narrow space kind of shop. His roommate loves wearing piercings and necklace and rings and bracelets that Kei couldn't even count his collection. They're all cheap ones though so it's not like Kei is worried about the state of his roommate's wallet.
He browses the displays and most of them are designed with skulls and chains; or just basically big and would make people do a double take on you.
That's when his eyes catch the sign with big letters written in colourful markers.
Pick your own words to craft on your accessories, only 30 minutes!
Just under the sign, there are metal tags of necklaces and bracelets. They're lined up in shapes in sizes for the customers to pick. Not only that, simple plain rings sorted out in different thickness and sizes. His eyes flicker back to the sign and back to the lines of accessories again.
"You can craft any word?" he mutters under his breath, the shop clear standing in front turns to him with a smile.
"Yes! Letters, symbols, or even simple drawings! Are you interested in making one for yourself?"
It had never crossed his mind before this. But it did just now, and there's only one thing that comes to his mind when it did; it feels so right.
"Yeah, make it two."
.
tsukishima_k: Where are you?
Sent 2:51 pm
yama_tadashi: the dorm
yama_tadashi: it's sunday and we're still sophomores, let me play my game peacefully
Sent 3:01 pm
tsukishima_k: I'm on the entrance
tsukishima_k: Come downstairs
Sent 3:03 pm
yama_tadashi: !?
yama_tadashi: tsukki you're here!?
Sent 3:03 pm
Running down the stairs, some of his dorm mates greet Tadashi and teasing him for running so quick down the stairs. Tadashi just sticks out his tongue and answers with something like my boyfriend's giving me a surprise visit!
When he reaches the lobby, Kei is nowhere to be seen, so he steps outside and Kei is huddled in too thick of a jacket, scarf, and earmuffs. Just by seeing how Kei wraps himself in thick clothes when it's not even the peak of the winter yet warms him.
Tadashi leads him in and gets more teases along the way back to his room.
Kei coming suddenly is already a shock for him. Tadashi is thrilled for being able to see Kei so soon. When he asks Kei what brings him here, Kei pulls out a plastic bag from his pocket, offering it to Tadashi. Tadashi raises his eyebrows and accepts it, peeking inside to see the content. The content too small for the size of the plastic bag.
It's not his birthday or their anniversary so why the sudden gift?
"They're just cheap rings I found in the local accessories shop, and this is stupid but I just want to know if you'd like to ... marry ... me ... someday in the future." Kei groans and pulls his scarf higher.
That's when Tadashi realises they are still right in front of the entrance to his room, their shoes still beneath their feet.
"Sorry I'm not even making any plan or preparations for this, when I knew it, I'm already on the train."
Tadashi looks down to the plastic bag in his hand and dips his hand inside, finding two little objects which he finds out soon to be rings. Silver ones with their names on it, one with Kei crafted on it, other with Tadashi crafted on it.
"What was that?"
"Uhm, rings? I'm proposing to you, probably."
"Lame," Tadashi cries and wipes both his palms to his cheeks, "That proposal was the lamest I've ever heard."
Kei stands there awkwardly, his hand floating just above Tadashi. Tadashi opens his palm and gets the one with his name written on it. Grabbing Kei's left hand, he fits the ring on his third finger.
"Of course I'll marry you, Kei."
Kei smiles and puts on the ring with his name on Tadashi's third finger.
.
Setting up five alarms in the morning is still acceptable.
But ten alarms? That, is unacceptable.
"The first four are before the actual time I need to get up, like a preparation for the actual alarm. The other six are to make sure I'm not putting them on snooze and actually waking up."
"It's exactly because you put so many alarms that you keep ignoring it, Tadashi! Just think about the person having to share the room with you from today on."
.
Tadashi swears the one putting this idea on Kei's head is going to pay for it.
It can be his co-worker. Or their old friends in high school, since they just meet up the other day after all these years only contacting through social media. Or it can be just the internet. Because it's always the internet.
Kei isn't going to tell him, but he's sure going to make that person regrets ever knowing Kei.
"Aaaaahhhh! Why is she running to her room!? The exit's just there! Something is going to happen, trust me Tsukki." Tadashi's butt is not even touching the couch anymore; he might be as well doing that thigh toning workout at this rate. One arm clutching the pillow while the other is grabbing tight on Kei's arm.
Tadashi screams and jumps out of his seat, hiding his face behind the pillow, "I told you! I told you it was coming!"
Kei's laugh only gets louder as Tadashi becomes a whiny mess hiding behind his pillow and burying his face on Kei's shoulder. The dark atmosphere from the film is making Tadashi on the edge of his seat. He looks like he's constipated and wants to run to the toilet but there's a spider on the door. Kei can't help but laugh at the funny face Tadashi keeps making.
"Stop laughing at me, Tsukki!"
"You said you knew the jump scare's there then why were you still surprised?"
"It's called jump scare for a reason, you know!"
Kei's laugh is not dying down and Tadashi can only grunt, "Ugh, stop laughing, Tsukiiii."
.
When both of them are on their day off and in the mood, they prefer to focus on the foreplay.
Kei likes stripping Tadashi bare right from the start and giving love to every inches of him. Planting kisses on his eyelids and ears. Nibbling the earlobe and sending Tadashi in shivers, biting a collection of freckles on Tadashi's shoulder.
With each bite, Tadashi squirms more and his moans louder. It's his habit to give all of his attention to Tadashi. Tracing each and every stretch mark bumps on his hips, licking his way down from his jaw to his nipple to his navel. Kneading soft thighs then his balls with his thumb, stroking Tadashi's cock with his long fingers.
Tadashi loves it when all of Kei's attention is on him, full body contact full of caresses and kisses. Kiss marks over his skin turning red and purple. Fingers closing in on his neck making his foot curl and his back arches. Constricted breaths and dizziness only adds more to his arousal.
When Tadashi likes all the skin to skin sensation, Kei likes it differently.
Receiving ghost touches and huffs of breath on his skin are what excite Kei the most. Having Tadashi's hand on his thighs and leaving Kei's cock wet and aching against his navel, unattended. Sometimes still on his trunks and accumulating wet patch on his underwear.
Sometimes there's praises on how Tadashi likes the way Kei squirms beneath him, holding up so well even when Kei is on edge and leaking precum. How cute he is when his cock twitches when Tadashi taps on it lightly, or how beautiful and perfect Kei is when wrecked like this.
Kei likes it when Tadashi kisses and nibbles on his hard on while his underwear is still on. Feeling the fabric stained wet and later pulling it down slowly to find it sticky.
Of course they don't just magically finds out what pleasures them on one night. It is a slow gradual thing, exploring and moments of self realisation.
Sometimes they're just too tired and busy and even making out takes too much time. While other times they're free and aroused and tends to their needs in the slowest way possible.
Both of them don't do sex that much, but when they do and not too pent up at the time, they enjoy the slow exploration on their body and just get it off with hand jobs or rubbing against each other much more than the act of penetration.
They thought their sex life is different from the norm. But really they don't mind. It's what they finds pleasurable and what fits them.
As long as they're both enjoying it, that's all that matters.
.
When Tadashi wakes up that day, he wakes up in tears. It's still wet and Tadashi can't even remember what kind of dream he had.
The sun is high on the sky and the muffled sounds from living room's TV are heard in their bedroom.
When he enters the living room area, all he sees is Kei in his sweater watching documentaries with a cake box on his lap. A fork in hand and dipping down to the half eaten cake. Tadashi approaches from behind and wraps his arms around his neck, "Good morning, Kei."
"It's noon."
"I just woke up so it's morning," he presses his lips on Kei's neck and gives him light kisses, "I had a dream."
"What kind of dream?"
"I don't know. I can't remember. Woke up with wet eyes and cheeks though."
Kei scoffs and looks over his shoulder, "You sure it's not just your drool again."
"Haha, funny," Tadashi answers sarcastically.
There are some loose threads on Kei's old sweater and Tadashi picks at them. Some of them come out easily while others don't. He then proceeds to tug softly Kei's shirt and continues with the spot he kissed before, biting and sucking at it so that it turns a beautiful purple on Kei's pale skin.
"Kei."
"What is it?"
"Do you want to go out and pick our wedding rings today?"
Kei's shoulder tenses and Tadashi can feel it directly with his mouth. Kei slowly turns to face him, his eyes wide and lips slightly open.
"I mean," Tadashi pauses, "we're kinda proper working adults now and we do have our savings. It's not like I want our wedding ceremony tomorrow. But maybe ... we can start preparing?" His thumb fiddles with the ring on his third finger, already losing its colour and the name crafted on it is even barely readable. It's the only ring the college student Kei could afford, so of course it's not gonna last longer than a few years.
"Wedding..." Kei leans his head back and snuggles closer to Tadashi, "doesn't sound too bad."
.
Tadashi finds it in the bottom drawer of his desk, overridden by old textbooks and board games. He is cleaning his old room since his mother keeps nagging him about wanting to make his room as a proper guest room.
It's not like anyone's going to sleep in that room except for Tadashi and Kei when they are over in Miyagi anyway, but his mother insists. She said she'll throw away everything if Tadashi doesn't come back to pick up his stuff.
The book is turning yellow on the edges, even on the hard cover. He opens the first page and giggles to himself. He sets it aside to the cardboard box of the things he'll bring to his apartment in Kyoto tomorrow. He'll take his time reading the content when he gets back. Maybe together with Kei if it isn't too embarrasising.
When they return, he digs around the box for the book first. With the book finally in hand, he goes over to their shelf and grabs their photo album. Pulling out one of the extra photos in the album, he turns the page to an empty one on the notebook and sticks the photo on the paper.
He puts on the date on top of the page and right under the photo, he writes in hiragana.
I married my very first best friend Tsukima Kei!
This time, the misspelling is intentional and he crosses it out, replacing it with the correct last name.
I married my very first best friend Yamaguchi Kei!
.
End.
.
There will be a second part for this fanfic! I'm going to post is as a new fanfic instead of second chapter. It'll be about their relationship from Tsukki's mom's pov and there'll connections on some of the scenes.
This fanfic took me a month to finish. I did not expect it to get this long but wow I'm proud with how this turned out!