He's not the bad guy. He's not, he's not.
At least, that's what he tells himself.
/
She's his best friend's girl.
She's vindictive, cruel, judgmental, and breathtakingly stunning.
He's a teenage guy.
It was midnight, that's all.
(he hopes).
Beck's his fucking best friend.
He's in love. She's in love. They're the epitome of a perfect couple.
They've been together for two years.
That's not something just anyone could break.
(but is he really considered 'just anyone?')
"You can't love Jade!" Tori cries, shock written all over her face.
Why not? his thoughts scream, but he knows she's right and there's not arguing against it.
dammit.
Funny, he didn't seem the masochistic type.
/
Two years ago, it was a simple freshman question that he never paused to re-examine.
"What do you think of Jade?"
"What?"
"Jade?"
"What about her, man?"
"Do you think I should go out with her?"
Thoughtful pause.
"How long have you been holding this in?"
"A while."
"You think she likes you back?"
"I dunno. Yesterday we made out in my truck."
"What?"
"Kidding!"
"Oh. Well, yeah."
"Yeah?"
"If you want it, go for her."
"Cool. And it'd be fine by you?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"You know... it's been the three of us for a while. It might get awkward."
"No, man. Go for it."
"Thanks, dude."
No problem.
/
They both had a chance. Beck just so happened to dive in head-first, while Andre initially refused to take the plunge.
He's a good guy, a good friend.
What brought this on?
He can write songs about this heartbreak, unrequited love; it's beautiful to write and melodious to the ears, but damn it's painful when it's real.
/
This was bad.
"Hey, Andre."
So very bad.
It had been eight hours and he still couldn't shake the feeling.
"H-hi."
DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT.
"My name's Jade, Andre, don't be afraid to use it."
Of course I know your name, gorgeous.
...
NO, stop it.
"Sorry, Jade."
Now walk away. Please.
"Okay, what is wrong with you?"
"Wha-what are you talking about?"
You are so sexy when you're demanding.
"It's something about the song, isn't it?"
Shit, shit shit, she knows.
"Did you not lik-"
"Hey, 'sup guys?"
Beck approaches you two, kisses Jade, and claps you on your shoulder in a friendly greeting.
The clap jolts you back to the realization that Beck is your best friend in the whole world.
"What's going on?" he asks.
"Andre's being weird," Jade explains bluntly.
"Why?" Beck chuckles, unaware of the uncomfortable tension.
"Hey, guys!"
Tori, God bless that angel's soul.
"How'd the recording go?" Tori interrupts.
"Gr-great," you stutter pathetically.
"Fantastic. Thank God I did it and not you," Jade greets Tori with a usual bitter snap.
"Well," Tori says with mock injury.
Praise the Lord, Tori can feign her affectation realistically.
"Hey, Robbie, what's up?" you jump up at the sight of Robbie, who's making his way over to Cat, in order to get as far away from the situation as possible.
Andre knows he's maneuvering on thin ice; he's even more aware that he's slipping.
/
Andre couldn't remember a time Beck and Jade weren't together.
It's used to be just their little group: Andre and Beck plus Jade.
The couple and the loyal friend.
Then Robbie (to Jade's chagrin).
Then Cat (to everyone's confusion).
That's the norm. Beck&Jade and Cat and Robbie (possibly Cat&Robbie, if Robbie stepped up to the plate) and Andre.
No one challenges this notion, not just because if they do, Jade may bite their head off, but because they're Beck and Jade.
Beck and Jade. They're like night and day. Push and pull, thick and thin, black and white, fire and ice, sun and moon. Whatever. The point was, they were opposites, yet completely fitted for each other in every possible way. They're a seesaw that remains perfectly balanced, always.
Then enter Tori (again, to Jade's chagrin).
The seesaw teeters for a moment, but it regains its balance once more and everyone thinks that fate will tip towards Tori&Andre afterwards.
Tori and Andre both laugh it off, they're friends, they insist. Guys come and go for Tori, Andre dates a string of nameless pretty girls. There are a million obstacles that come between them; timing's a bitch and they're both convinced that it will never help out their relationship.
Beck and Jade, on the other hand, they're meant for each other. No one would ever come between them.
The idea was almost unthinkable.
/
Tori confronts him after class - during their suspiciously long passing period.
"What was that?"
"I don't know what you're talking about."
"Andre-"
"Hey, good luck on your test today!"
She pauses for a moment to look gracious. "Thank you. But-"
"See ya!"
"Wait, but-"
"Gotta go, Tori. See you at lunch?"
"Andre," she stops you before you can escape. She stares at you with sad eyes, and you can tell how much she really wants to help. "Andre. Can I give you some advice."
You nod.
"You're a good guy. Don't get in the middle of this."
He'd like to think if Beck and Jade weren't dating, he'd have a chance.
He'd like to think, if he had asked her out, she'd smile sadistically at him and turn him down.
He'd like to think he'd persist, until she gave in and they fell in love.
He'd also like to think that he's not wasting his time, pining after a girl he's fallen for too late.
He'd like to think he's not a bad friend for thinking this way.
But he is.
He missed his window, but he never shot for it.
Beck and Jade, that epitome of a perfect couple?
Yeah, they broke up.
It takes a lot for him to not jump right in the middle of things, but he can't. As the role of the best friend, he's expected to take a side and keep as is, not jump up with joy.
A few months, Andre decides, and then he'll see if it's okay with Beck to seal the deal. He struggles with his oath a few times though, slips up, and his savior Tori shoots him a warning look every time he does.
They still reference their two-year relationship, buy each other coffee, snap at each other, and remain (kind of) friends. The exes still hold that tether between them, but Andre begins to see a future where life could possibly become Tori and Cat and Robbie (gee, Robbie's gotta hurry if he wants to change that status) and Beck and Jade&Andre.
/
"Hey," he clears his throat to get her attention.
Jade doesn't look up from her book; instead, she barked, "What?"
She'd been snappier than usual lately (being single was something new to her), but he's practiced for this moment and he is just going for it, dammit.
Andre deliberates for a moment; his eyes flicker between her and the door.
"What, Andre?" she looks up this time, demanding an answer for his awkward silence. She examines his face suspiciously. "Did Beck send you hear?"
Ah, Beck. Andre blinks stupidly, and for a moment all he can see is Beck and Jade, black and white, fire and ice, sun and moon, the perfect couple. And oh no, oh God, he can't do this, this is wrong. Everything about it is wrong.
He swallows and took a step back under her demanding stare.
"No, he-"
"Yeah?"
"I-"
"Yes?"
Was asking out a girl really supposed to be this hard?
He exhaled softly; his head was screaming at him to spit out the words, yet the rest of his body didn't seem to be getting the signals. His stomach was clenched and his heart was pounding.
He wasn't going to do it.
"Nothing," he says ruefully, "nothing at all."
She rolled her eyes (God, she's beautiful) and returns to her book, while he backs away. Once an aisle seperates them, he turns and flees, past an unsuspecting freshman and an irritated librarian, and out the door.
/
Beck makes a move on Tori; it bothers not only Jade, but Andre as well.
Beck's not afraid to continue on with life, even though it may hurt someone dear to him. Beck's willing to take risks, to plummet in the dangerous waters immediately, while Andre tiptoes around the edges cautiously before sliding in.
Yet Andre's been playing it safe, and selflessly never gets closer to Jade for Beck's sake.
Andre would dearly love to screw his oath, but he's a good guy; plus, Tori's upset that she thinks ruined Beck and Jade and needs condoling.
One month later, Beck knocks on Jade's front door and kisses her.
The epitome of a perfect couple rejoins, day and night reunite, and Andre is torn apart once more.
Andre doesn't like for things to be difficult.
Cat is hard to understand. Sometimes, Robbie is hard to tolerate. Trina is always hard to tolerate.
They make life hard to deal with.
/
"You sicken me," Jade says.
"I love you," Andre admits.
"Go away."
"Kiss me."
Andre wakes up from another one of his sinful dreams. He's back to being that third wheel, and he's suffocating from the irony.
He doesn't like for life to be difficult, but hell, he's guilty of glutton for icy punishment.
There's a senior question, an serious inquiry from guy-to-guy.
"Do you think I should ask her?"
"What?"
"Jade, man, keep up."
"Sorry, I was thinking about something else."
"You've been blanking out a lot lately, man, is everything okay?"
"What? Yeah, yeah, I'm fine."
"So, do you?"
"Do I what?"
"Do you think I should ask Jade to marry me?"
/
Beck is happy with Jade. Jade is happy with Beck.
Andre is the earth; day and night mesh together, and earth is in between, witnessing the beautiful whole thing but can never intervene.
The earth may play an important role, the earth may be close to both, but it's never meant to mess with the cycle of day and night.
Fuck, Andre thinks, as he closes his eyes and his head feels like it's about to split open, he should just become a solitary hermit and be done with it
/
Lots of girls are contenders, but Jade is the winner, clearly victorious above all others.
Tori can - and will - always make it shine, Cat can reliably belt out a number and groove to a rhythm, and Trina can do nothing.
Jade can make him delirious and insane.
Jade is the sadistic girl of his dreams. Jade is the girl his best friend is going to marry two weeks after graduation.
/
I've known the lovely couple for-
That sounded too formal.
Beck and Jade, jeez, I can't tell you-
It's not right.
I just can't believe they've made it so far, but the journey ahead will be-
Andre promptly rips the paper in half.
/
The moment the bride appears at the beginning of the aisle, smiles graciously as all eyes turn on her, and she locks eyes with the groom is supposedly a magical moment.
And it was.
Jade's wearing a black dress that comes down to her knees, because screw tradition (one of the many things he admires about her). Her lips are curved upwards in a good-natured smile and her hair is knotted into an elegant bun (Cat's work, looks like).
Andre bit his tongue to keep silent behind Beck as he watched it all play out.
/
He threw the bachelorette party, kept the rings safe, gave a toast.
Tori confronted him the night before; she asked him how he was doing.
"You know, I think I'm over her."
He's pretty sure she knows he was lying, but she doesn't say anything.
Third wheel, best friend, best man. That's all he'd ever be.
/
"Congrats," Andre muttered as he held her waist and posed for the photographer.
The bride and best man shot.
"Thanks," she murmurs back underneath the plastered grin.
He's never seen Jade this happy. This is possibly the worst day of his life, but to see her swell with joy and her face glow with pride just makes this day a little bit better.
"Beck told me you wrote a song?"
"Yeah, I wrote it along with the toast.'"
They each flash another smile for the camera.
"You look really beautiful today." An innocent statement, right?
The photographer ducks down to examine his newest photos, so Jade breaks her grin and turns to face him.
"Thanks Andre," she says.
He supposes it's because it was her wedding day, and because she's overly-cheery, but she kisses him on the cheek.
His songs are too sad.
No one will hire him, his songs are too mopey and weird and why, oh, why do they all revolve around self-deterioration?
He dwells on missing his chance too often; his head spins like a dreidel every time he thinks of those seven weeks of opportunity he had, but never took. He never took risks, he was afraid, and regretted every moment he didn't use to his advantage.
Unfortunately, that affected his songwriting skills to the point where people laughed in his face for presenting his songs.
He leafs through his older high school songs, or his pre-Jade songs, as he likes to call them, and hands one over to a music producer as an experiment.
"Yes!" the producer cries triumphantly. "This is gold. Where did this come from?"
Andre shrugs and accepts the praise modestly.
Two weeks later, they give him an artist.
"We have someone to sing your song."
A tall girl with shiny, dolled hair strolls into the room.
Even under the powdery makeup and unfamiliar pink lipstick, Andre can tell.
"Tori."
A stunned silence follows.
/
They want more.
Everyone wants more of Tori&Andre. Together, their work is gilded and producers go crazy trying to buy them. Her voice is flawless while ingrained into his song, and together they rise above the endless sweep of undying success.
But Andre's at the end of his limited amount of high school, pre-Jade songs.
He needs more, if he wants this success to continue.
To do so, he needs Jade.
/
Three knocks, and a moment of limbo in which Andre considers leaving; yet, the door swings open before he can.
Jade's eyebrows leap up in surprise. "Andre?"
Andre stares at her for a moment; he had forgotten how beautiful she was.
She had grown out her long black tresses further down, gotten rid of her colored hair add-ins, and was assuming a much kinder smile. Even more gorgeous than she was during high school, during her wedding day.
Andre doesn't respond; his body is nervously shaking like a leaf and he's half-considering turning back, it wasn't worth it.
Then he thinks his years of regret. He thinks of how he convinced himself he was not a disloyal person or a bad friend, and therefore couldn't snatch up Jade as his own.
He thinks of how Beck never waited. Beck was on the move after he and Jade had broken up, and didn't miss his opportunity with Tori. Andre had missed his with Jade, because he was the good guy that waited around until it was too late.
This time, he wasn't going to be that guy.
She's staring at him curiously, waiting for his reply, but instead he takes a step forward, pressed his lips against hers, and settled their for a few moments of bliss.
She kisses him back for a second and a warm feeling swells in Andre. He actually breaks the kiss first, dwelling on his few seconds of snatched euphoria (just enough for him to appreciate) while she just stares at him with shock.
"Thanks," he says quickly, and runs off.
Later that night, he finds himself wrapped up in a blanket, sprawled out over his living room couch, and staring blankly at his keyboard.
The biting silence provided no distractions, deeming worthless.
He hates this. He guilt-tripped himself into this mess.
What was wrong with him? He was guilty to be with her, he hated to be without her. His love for Jade literally made his life hell.
"Fuck," he said out loud. His particular word of choice is blatantly loud in the silent night.
Every time he tried playing a note, it sounded flat and useless.
Every so often, his eyelids would droop, but he would snap back to reality to rescue himself from another torturous dream.
By four a.m., he's asleep, but this dream isn't about her. It's Beck.
He doesn't look angry or mad or bitter. He just stares on directly at you, disappointment coloring his eyes.
He doesn't say anything.
Even though it's a dream, Andre's stomach is clenched tight with anxiety. He'd rather Beck be screaming vituperations or beating him up for betraying him, because he just kissed his wife.
But he doesn't. He just stares at him with a sad curiosity, as though he's seen a new side of Andre and doesn't like it one bit. He's a traitorous friend, and that makes him feel all queasy and uncomfortable.
Andre's eyes snap open as he begins to finger the keys and strike up a melancholy tune.
So maybe he is the bad guy, after all.
/
Tori and Andre: not in love, not together ("why?" one persistent reporter questions, as he thrusts a microphone in their face in line at Starbucks).
They run out of excuses.
Guys no longer effortlessly come and go for Tori, and the amount of nameless pretty girl begin to ease up for Andre.
So, Tori kisses him after rehearsal one day.
He kisses back, because hell, he's lost and she's the bright candle in the shade of heartache.
/
Andre marries Tori.
It's a small wedding, family only.
They don't inform the media, so everyone's surprised when they show up in public, matching wedding bands donning their fourth fingers.
Four days after the uproar of news ("Did you hear? TANDRE got married on Saturday!) Tori finds a vase of flowers lying on her front porch.
"Congratulations," it reads, "from Jade and Beck."
/
Maybe he and Tori were meant to be.
Maybe Jade was meant to be Beck's wife and Tori was meant to be his.
They work on their song together and it's like high school. Her voice flows perfectly with the tune and their work always provides unparalleled results.
Her name lists every chart; his name is credited underneath. Tori and Andre; a simple couple, yet a quintessential match.
/
Andre is the good guy, despite what he tells himself.