Patience
'So here is mine. I love you, Dan Humphrey. Always have, always will.'
'Serena...'
'No, you don't have to respond right now. I have some... maid-of-honour things to do before Blair and Louis leave, but I really hope we can talk later.' (Gossip Girl, Season 5, Episode 13 'GG')
He looked for her, the wedding planner shouting something about the best man and maid of honour dancing together with the bride and groom in their last dance. He asked people, but no one had seen her. She was gone. But he didn't stop searching.
He focused on finding her. Otherwise, he would lose control of his thoughts. His mind would wander, remember her words. I love you, Dan Humphrey. Always have, always will. He loved her too. Of course he did. He always would. Just not in the same way. At least not now.
He saw her through the glass doors of the St Regis Hotel. Even with her back to him, she was beautiful. Or maybe it was the memory of her that was influencing him to think so. Either way, it was true.
He sat beside her on the steps.
'You must be freezing. Here, have this.' He placed his coat over her shoulders, making sure her hair remained at the same level of perfection. Her fingers gripped its edges, preventing it from falling. It smelled the same; she knew it wasn't the same coat, yet it smelled just like the many others he had wrapped around her shoulders. Just like his shirts that she used to wear, or his sheets that they used to lie in. The same intoxicating smell, something that only she could sense. She smiled.
'You should be inside.' She didn't look at him. She couldn't. She didn't want to allow him to say it, to hear what she could guarantee was coming.
He couldn't let her change the subject, thought. If there was anything he had learnt from his past, from his tumultuous relationship with Serena, it was that honesty truly was the best policy. He couldn't not say anything, make her believe something that wasn't accurate, or true. He couldn't that to her. He loved her enough not to.
'Serena, I'm in love with her,' he spoke softly, bluntly, avoiding to even glance in her direction. She was grateful for that. She prepared herself to hear those words, yet when he uttered them, they hurt. The voice was the same, the words similar. The difference was the one he was referring to. It wasn't her anymore. You loved me, too.
She tapped her cheek with the back of her hand, hoping not to smudge the mascara with her tears. She stood, allowing the coat to fall on his lap, and turned towards him.
'I know. But I'm willing to wait.'
He reciprocated, towering over her by the slightest measure. 'What are you going to wait for?' he asked, and his hand instinctively wrapped around hers, preventing her from leaving him.
'Us.'
'Why?'
She sighed, and gently untangled her fingers from his. 'Because you and I are forever. And that's enough to give me the patience.'
She started climbing the steps to the hotel, distancing herself from him. She stopped at the top and looked at him again, subconsciously content that his eyes were still following her. That he cared, even if only a little.
'I just need to know; what would have happened if I had chosen you that night, after the ballet?'
She waited. He smiled, a sad smile. One she wasn't used to seeing.
'Then it would have probably been us in there, not Blair and Louis,' he spoke, and when their gazes met, Serena could swear that she saw the glisten that made her heart flutter. The way only he used to look at her. That beautiful way.
'Love like that doesn't just go away,' she said, and left him standing there, at the bottom of the steps, preventing him from noticing the small drops of hurt leaking from her eyes and heart.
A/N: Hey, guys, thanks for reading this short little fan-fic. I hope you like it enough to review! xx