newt fanfiction
title : on the other side
character (s) : newt, minho
words : 3117
warnings : feels. feels. feels.
au, reader insert
Minho still blamed himself for his sister's death. Every Friday, at night, he would go into the small garden that she loved so much, and form a crown entirely made out of flowers. At first, his attempts were shabby and poor. There was too much of this, and too little of that; the stems fell apart. But he didn't give up until he made one good enough.
Then he put it on her little grave. He had nothing to bury except for her necklace, one that Minho figured that she shoved into his pack at some time during her last day. It was a carved bird, ready for flight. He buried it, made her nameplate himself. Every week, he would switch the old crown with the new. But even though he did this every week, he didn't allow himself to linger on her death.
He remembers her last day clearly, though, as if it didn't happen 14 months ago, but just two days ago. He remembers the way they looked up at the sky, then at each other with wide, panicked eyes. He remembers her hand in his as they ran for their lives. He remembers the panic that rose in his throat when he realized they wouldn't make it. He remembers her letting go. He remembers the way she pushed him through the doors, the way he stumbled into the Glade, hands grabbing him at all sides, while she was trapped in the Maze.
He remembers banging on the closed gaps like there was no tomorrow (not for him, but for her). He remembers that night, the time he spent at her beloved little garden. He remembers Gladers staying out of his way, leaving him to grieve. He remembers fumbling with her favorite flowers, then discovering the little necklace in his pack. Then he remembers the day after, when he watched the doors open slowly with tired eyes, hoping that she would come out from the other side.
She didn't.
On the day that the girl with black hair and white skin came up, he noticed Newt acting strange. And he didn't know how, but he knew that Newt would isolate himself that night. So Minho decided that if Newt isn't back by the time he strung together a flower crown for his sister, he would go get him.
When he walked out of the garden, he was bombarded with questions from the newer people, on where Newt was. He ignored all of them, and walked straight into the forest. They didn't follow, probably held back by the older Gladers.
It took not too long for him to find Newt. There was a muffled cry, then a few sobs. He followed the noise, and saw a flash of blond hair. It was enough for him to tell that Newt was probably up there.
"Newt," he croaked out. Shuck it, his voice was cracking. "Are you up there?"
The blond's square face peeped out from above the high branches. Minho was a bit surprised. Nobody had ever dared to climb that high. But he's grieving, making up for the 14 months that he pretended that his girlfriend, Minho's sister, never existed. And grieving makes you do things. He decided not to comment on it.
"They're worried," he continued. "They're waiting."
"Yeah," it was nothing more than a whisper, but Minho heard it fine. His voice sounded as if he was crying his heart out just moments ago―which he probably was.
"Dude, I know. Believe me, I know," Minho said. He knew that if [name] was here, she would comfort Newt. But she isn't here and Minho's taking her job. Because he knows that she would want him to.
"Yeah, I'll come down soon," the blond replied. Minho turned and left. There was nothing else that he could do. Ten minutes later, he sees Newt slowly walking out of the forest, and that's enough for him to smile through the pain.
Minho sees her last day in his dreams.
It's a really normal, boring day in the Glade. [name] and Minho are getting ready to move out into the maze, just like they do each day. Newt was helping them pack―more like helping [name], but whatever. Before they leave, Minho sees Newt kissing [name], and her kissing back. They were a little late, but Minho allowed them to be caught up in their little moment.
When it was first announced that [name] would be a runner, Newt was so against it. Minho knew how much they meant to each other, and he didn't want to lose his sister either, but he promised to himself that he wouldn't make her decisions for her. She was strong enough to be a runner, and everyone knew. So he helped her convince Newt.
"Of course, Newtie. See ya later!" he heard, and then she bolted into the Maze after him. They exchanged a look that only siblings as close as they are can understand. Then they smiled (more like smirked, but it doesn't matter anymore) at each other before the Glade was out of sight.
And then the only thing they could hear was the rhythmic thumps of their shoes against the damp stone, and their steady breathing.
They had been in the Maze for four hours when they found this huge hole. They exchanged incredulous looks. Sure, they haven't come to this part often, but they were pretty sure that they would notice a huge hole like this. But then, the Maze walls do change every night.
Then they smiled at each other. They are hopeful, genuine grins. This might be their way out of this prison they were thrown in without their memories. This place was new, and it gave them new hope.
"Stones?" Minho asked simply.
"Stones," [name] answered. They had this little inside joke. One night, they just remembered about this book called The Fault in Our Stars. It's one of the little things that they both remember loving from before their memories were wiped. One of them would ask a question, and the other would repeat the word, but in a statement.
Without another word, they got to collecting loose stones around the area. They gathered stones in a pile, near the huge hole. "So… should we do this?" she asked. He nodded.
And they threw in the gathered stones into the hole, one by one. Each one went down the hole, as gravity took over. Each stone was thrown, and as the pile dwindled, their hope also did. But they pushed on. As they got closer to the middle, [name] realized something.
"Shuck," she muttered, and Minho took his eyes off of the flying stone to turn to her and raise his eyebrows (he would discover later, when Thomas comes to the Glade, that this stone led to their exit. If only he looked at it a little longer, then [name]'s death wouldn't have been for nothing). She only pointed up at the sky, then at her watch.
And Minho's eyes widened. How could he have forgotten the time? It was an hour after they were supposed to be starting to head back. "Let's go!" he shouted, and [name] didn't need another word. Together, they broke into a run towards the Glade.
They heard the Doors closing before they saw it. The grinding of stone made them run faster. They were both drenched in sweat, hands clutching each other in desperation. Minho was in the front, but [name] wasn't far behind. They ran for their lives. Panic gripped their hearts with no mercy, and rose in their throat like bile.
The Gladers urged them on from the other side, the safe side. They were rolling their feet, as if they were the ones who were running. Newt was in the middle, with Alby and Nick restraining him by grabbing both of his arms. Their grim eyes met Minho's. Newt looked past Minho, at [name]. In his eyes were raging desperation.
The doors were seconds were closing.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Then [name] did something nobody expected her to do. She let go of Minho's hand, and he almost stopped running. Newt was still looking at [name] with wide eyes filled with fear. Then [name] pushed him. He stumbled into the Glade, and several of the boys grabbed him.
Two.
He turned around, and saw her in the other side, in the Maze. She had stopped running.
She flashed him a smile, then at Newt. Said boy was screaming his lungs off, repeating "no"s and "[name]"s. Minho watched as she shouted an "I love you," to both him and Newt.
One.
And then the huge gaps closed, leaving [name] out in the Maze by herself. Newt screamed, a screech formed with incomprehensible words that tore their hearts apart, and lunged forward, free of his constraints. Minho yanked his arms away from the Gladers, staggering to the firmly closed stone walls. He started banging on it, as if it will crack open to reveal his sister at the other side if he banged hard and long enough.
But it wasn't true. She would never come back.
She was gone.
The night that the girl came from the Box, holding the cursed note, Newt isolated himself in the Deadheads. He would get out eventually, or somebody would try to find him eventually. He didn't care. He climbed a random tree, as far from the Glade and its inhabitants as he can get. He climbed until the branches above him would shake when he put just a little bit of his weight onto them.
And then he cried.
Tears were just coming out of his eyes. They streamed out nonstop, and he couldn't help but let out a strangled cry. Just soft enough that the others won't be able to hear, but loud enough to just let it out. A few broken sobs left him. All that was bottled up inside of him, for the agonizing 14 months without her, bubbled out. It was like a little hole in the dam, and it got bigger and bigger until the dam broke. And the only person who could fix it was gone.
Yesterday, Thomas asked if there was ever a girl in the Glade. Newt didn't give an answer, but shooed Thomas to the Homestead. That was fine, because every bloody Newbie that comes out of that shuck Box asks that question. He's used to that.
But this? This is something else. He can't look at the girl without thinking of her. She would be a constant reminder of what (more like who) he had lost, jabbing at his sides and poking at him just to see him ticked off. They weren't anything alike, but they were both beautiful. The new girl with silky black hair and a pretty face. She was beautiful (none of the Gladers could deny it), though she would never compare to her.
Her. [name]. The first ever girl to step a foot into the Glade. Striking [eye colour] eyes, long [hair colour] hair that framed her face perfectly, looking perfect in a bun―her personal, specific bun that was neat and messy at the same time. Her easygoing yet hardworking personality. Beautiful didn't even start to describe her. The way his name rolled off her tongue. The way she looked at him, playfully, lovingly. The way she walked. The way she fought with Minho, just like the closest of siblings would.
The way she loved him. And the way he loved her back.
All the good memories were just painful now. All the good things, the small things, the big things; the day they confessed to each other, the time they made flower crowns for each other―[name] did make the most beautiful flower crowns, with just the right flowers and just the right amount. She said that they made him look like an angel. He thought that with it, she looked like some angel that just descended from heaven.
A heart wrenching sob was heard again. Then silence.
"Newt," a voice croaked out, cutting through the silence. "Are you up there?"
He glanced down, his vision blurred. Down there was Minho.
Her brother.
"They're worried," he continued.
"Yeah," God, his voice sounded as bad as he felt.
"Dude, I know. Believe me, I know," the Asian boy below said, and Newt believed him. They were both impacted so much by her death. Yes, you know. But they don't. he wanted to answer. But he just let out a small yeah, I'll come down soon. Minho turned around and left, and it was so quiet that Newt could hear his feet making thump, thumps against the earth. It was soft and too loud at the same time. Newt almost sobbed once more as he remembered [name]'s little ability to walk without a sound. She used to surprise him every day, sneaking up on him.
He allows himself thirty seconds before wiping his tears and climbing down slowly, until his feet touches the green ground again.
Newt sees her last day in his dreams.
It was a normal morning in the Glade. Minho and [name] were getting ready to go into the Maze just like any other day. Newt was helping them pack, and before they leave, he plants a small kiss on her forehead. "Be careful out there, love," he says, and she giggled.
"Of course, Newtie. See ya later!" she bolted out the Maze doors, but not before sealing their lips together for a moment. Newt smiled. She would be safe with Minho, just like any other day. She was strong, she could take care of herself.
When it was first decided that she would become a runner, Newt opposed the idea completely. The Maze was too dangerous, and he couldn't lose her. But she managed to convince him with the help of her brother Minho promising that he would keep her safe.
Newt looked at the looming gap, where she disappeared through. She was the sunshine of his life. She picked up his pieces and patched him back together, slowly but surely. She was everything to him. She was strong, and she had proved that multiple times. Now, it's just that he can't see her face during the day that makes him sad.
He shook his head and turned around, heading towards where the other Gladers were waking up.
Soon, it was noon. Newt couldn't wait until the time she would be back, because he had made the perfect flower crown. She loved those, and had taught him how to make one just weeks ago. And this one was perfect. Just the right bits of green and [favorite colour], blue and yellow. He smiled softly, placing the crown gently on her hammock.
He busied himself with work again. He rarely slacked off, but if she saw him slacking, she would kick his butt before sending him to work again. And so he worked, trying to forget the time.
They were getting worried. The siblings should have been back at least an hour ago. Most of the residents of the Glade (yes, even Gally. She had influenced him, too) were waiting at the Maze entrance, their faces worried. Newt was in the front with Alby and Nick.
"They should be back soon, or else they won't make it," they whispered to each other, trying to keep Newt from hearing. He didn't, but their faces spoke what their words did not. The siblings would die if they don't come back soon. Newt knows, but he holds onto the hope that they would be back soon.
"Nick," he begins, and said boy jumps in surprise. "We… we have to send someone."
But Nick shakes his head. "No. I'm sorry, Newt, but we can't. There are rules, and the other runners are exhausted." And that would be another person wasted. It's not said out loud, but Newt hears it as clear as someone shouting it in his ears. He keeps looking out, just looking for a sign that they're coming back.
The doors creaked, and began to close. Newt panicked, and so do the others. [name], he thought. [name]. "[name]!" he was shouting now. "[NAME]!"
There was slight hope when the duo emerged from around the corner. They were running as fast as they can, but everyone soon realized that neither of them will make it. Minho was sprinting, [name]'s hand in his, clutched in a death grip. But he knew, they're too far. Newt screamed her name over and over again, but he was unable to move because Nick and Alby are restraining him by his arms. Their eyes held grim acceptance.
"NO!" he shouted, and his throat was hurting, but he didn't feel it anymore. Then there was a glint in [name]'s eyes, and it was something that Newt never saw before with her. He was afraid of what she would do.
Then she caught Newt's eyes. He stared into her [eye colour] eyes. He didn't know (and still doesn't) how she trapped the beauty of the universe in those two small orbs. Wait, Newt, foolish thoughts. She was going to die, and Newt was standing there, admiring her eyes. But then he realized what the glint in her eyes was. Grim determination.
The doors were literally seconds from closing.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Then [name] did something that none of the boys expected her to do. She let go of Minho's hand. Her eyes were still on Newt's. Then she pushed her brother. He stumbled in, and she stopped. Alby and Nick and some others immediately grabbed Minho and pulled him into the safety of the Glade.
Two.
And then Newt saw her smile in that beautiful, sad way, her mouth forming a beautiful "I love you," a split second before the doors finally shut.
One.
The gap was no more. The impossible stone walls separated Newt from the love of his life. For a split second, everything was quiet. No movement. She was dead, gone. He would never see her again. Ever in his life. They had promised to each other that they would stay, no matter what. Now that promise was broken, shattered, blown into the Maze like they were some ashes. Then the fact that [name], his lovely, lovely [name] was gone, dead, sank in.
And Newt screamed.
He woke up from the terrible, terrible nightmare, hand clamped against his mouth to keep from screaming. But what hurt him, tore him apart, piece by piece, the most?
It wasn't just a nightmare. It was a memory, something that happened. It was his reality.
He would never see [name] again.
a/n: hello, everyone! this is just a little depressing tmr fanfic (my first one!). it is also posted on tumblr (go to shuckreallife at tumblr). hopefully, you like it .+:｡(ﾉ･ω･)ﾉﾞ well, anyways. hope you enjoyed, sorry about every feels :(
but, good news! there will be a 'bonus' part posted (hopefully) soon, and it will probably be happy. probably. hopefully. maybe. so, stay tuned for the bonus!
jiwon
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