Dear Katniss,
I love you, my sweet darling daughter. Every night I look down on you from the stars. I'm always watching over you. You remind me so much of myself when I was younger, except more courageous. You are wild, brave, strong, and so much more. But you struggle to see past your pain.
You have plenty of reasons to be upset, I know. But try to smile, before you forget how.
From up here, I can see things you can't. I see things on a completely different spectrum of colors and multitude. I can see the red violets where you see only purple. I can see rainbows where you only see gray. If you try a little harder I'm sure you'll see all of the colors. The rain hasn't washed everything away my dear.
Believe me when I tell you how much I miss you. I know you miss me too, despite the facade you put on for everyone that you weren't breaking. I know Prim misses me even though she struggles to remember how I bounced her on my knee when she was a baby. She can't quite recall how I would slip her a candy sweet every so often that I managed to trade for, just for her. And your mother, your mother misses me most of all.
She lost herself when I died. And you had to find her.
That wasn't fair, Katniss. I'm sorry I left so suddenly.
Do you remember the song I used to sing around the house? I struggle to remember that song myself. Its been so long since I've sung. But I do remember you singing it. I remember you sitting on the floor with toddler Prim, making rope necklaces and singing the tune.
Are you, are you coming to the tree
They strung up a man, they say who murdered three
Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
if we met, at midnight. In the hanging tree...
I watched every night from the stars after the accident in the coal mines. I watched you grow up too quickly. I watched you take over my job as head of the house. I watched as you scored the woods for the bows I had crafted so delicately. You missed a few. Also don't forget where I hid those spiels, you might need them someday.
I watched you swim in the forest lake and collect Katniss roots to feed our family. I watched you as you snuck morsels to Buttercup. friendship with an animal is always a strange thing, you were determined to hate that cat. But it was obvious to everyone else you were soft on him.
I watched as Prim, my baby Primrose, got called for the hunger games. If one could die after already being dead, then that's what would have happened to me. My heart stopped although it no longer beats. It was too soon for Prim to die, she was too young. But then you, my brave child, volunteered to save her. Even knowing it would mean your death.
Where dead man called out, for his love to flee...
You should have known to begin with you are too stubborn to die.
But those games, those twisted and sick games, they hurt you. They hurt you deeper than any capitol medicine can cure. And even though you are still on earth, even though you cannot see into my heaven, you must know the colors are brighter here.
Where I told you to run, so we'd both be free...
When Prim died I think you finally snapped, the loss of everything just welled up on you and you crumbled. But you picked up the pieces of yourself and slapped them back together.
You are far too stubborn to let the capitol win.
Katniss, do you remember when you sat by my graveside each night for a month, even though nothing was buried there? I remember, I remember my ghost sitting next to you, listening with rapt attention as you told me all about your day. I wish you could have heard me as I told you about mine.
Wear a necklace of rope, side by side with me...
But it will all be okay Katniss, in the end it will all be okay in my heaven. You are going to join me soon. I am watching you now on your bed, holding Peeta's hand. Your children are lying next to you, snuggled up like kids even though they are adults. They know it must be your last night, your time is running thin, and they want to spend every last second with their brave mother.
When you get here, you will see that everything is okay, I promise.
Prim is safe and sound with me.
Her and Rue are the best of friends.
Buttercup finally caught that flash light.
Cato and Clove got married.
Finnick still loves sugar cubes.
We miss you dearly, but we will see you soon. I hope you remember us like we remember you.
Love, dad