Earth-Bye-Bye
By Rob Morris
THE CRISIS ON INFINITE EARTHS
The residents of yet another Earth were unaware that they were being monitored, and not in a good way.
On this Earth were heroes, seemingly of a familiar sort.
1
In space, this world's Superman approached two pods in eternal orbit of the local solar system's fringes.
"No! Another failure. Jor-El and Lara—my own parents—are still locked in a living death, poisoned by Green K, doomed to die if they awaken even for a moment."
As he had every year since he was a Superboy, the great man flew off dejected, keeping his sad, crippling secret.
2
On Paradise Island, this world's Wonder Woman saw all of her Amazon sisters bound up by their own bracelets, each locked into an elaborate death trap.
"Great Hera! No man could have gotten onto the island and placed my sisters in such peril."
A whip cracked, one that Princess Diana barely caught in time.
"You!"
The feline fiend nodded.
"Yes, Amazon! I, Catwoman, want revenge for how you and Batman ruined my schemes at the UN. And my revenge is a giant saucer full of your sisters' blood."
3
In Gotham City, Batman faced down one of his cruelest dilemmas.
"My own older brother—who I thought dead—is alive and has resumed his career as the Boomerang Killer. Thomas—I swear by our parents' ashes, you will be brought back in and get the help you need!"
Out of the shadows, a weary veteran walked as he cocked his service pistol.
"When you do that, DarkKnight Detective-you know that Frank Rock of Easy Company will be backing you up—just like you did for me, in the Big One!"
4
In the final viewing of the grim voyeurs, in Central City, no speedster was speeding – good or bad.
"Flash—it's no good! I can only run as fast as a normal boy, now."
A villain was taking this change no better.
"I don't know what trickery you pulled, Flash, but Professor Zoom is going to Reverse it!"
Barry Allen realized what must be going on.
Kid Flash – Reverse-Flash—I know who's responsible for this. It can only be-"
The imp-like creature appeared, looking scholarly and foolish, all at the same time.
"That's right, Flash! It is I, the secret source of every super-speedster's motion – Tenth Level Heavenly Helper—MOPEE! And if any of you want your speed back, you must complete my ultimate challenge."
5
There were of course other things to view, but a giant hand turned a dial and cut off the feed. The Anti-Monitor shook his head, trying to get all the discontinuities out of a head that normally didn't care what history an Earth had before he targeted it.
"Bypass that Earth, and its universe—we'd be doing them a favor."