Hellooo! I really wanted to read this type of one-shot so I decided to write it instead! With the cliché 'Lucy leaves Fairy Tail because Natsu thinks she's weak' I decided to use that but angsty style! Sooo, hope you like it!
What Happens When I Fail
"Don't you get tired of always saving her Natsu?" They would always ask.
"Don't ya think she's a bit weak?" They would joke.
"Don't you want a strong partner?" They would suggest. I would always say no.
"No! Lucy's stronger than all of you! I would never exchange her for the world!" I would then start a fight, and after, stalk off to go find the blonde. I loved Lucy, plain and simple. I loved her since she jumped out of that tower when Phantom Lord attacked, right into my arms. I knew right then I would always save her. As time went on, I learned to love the feeling of wrapping my arms around her, the feeling of relief and happiness I felt when I caught her. How I felt when I knew that I saved her. I felt pride, happiness, and I would just want to hoard her, all for myself whenever I did, because I felt I deserved it. When Lucy fell off of that cliff, I jumped without hesitation. My arms stretched forward, ready for the catch. She extended her hands, and smiled. She had believed that I would catch her; I always had. I believed it too, so I smiled back. I reached out, and I missed. I didn't feel happiness, I didn't feel relief. I didn't get to hug her close to me. I didn't her hear her sigh with the feeling of being alive. I heard myself scream her name as she fell, her sharp inhale. I saw her beautiful brown eyes widen in terror as she fell. I screamed and tried to move to her, but I fell into the river. I heard bones crack. And I saw her body. And I didn't save her. And I never would again. I would never feel my arms wrap around her as we fell together. I would never get to tell her I loved her because I had been too scared. The Natsu Dragneel, too scared to say three words. But now if I saw her, that's all I would say. I would never have 30 babies running around, or see her smile when she got her first book published. I would never get to see her pink guild mark, or her gold hair or her deep brown eyes. Never. Because I didn't deserve too.
Gray would always lecture me, shouting in the back room of the guild. He normally tears up as I just stare into space. Once he's done I just walk away, and cry silently. Erza offers me her cake which in the past, I would've gladly taken. Now, I ignore her and the scent of her vanilla and strawberry cake.
I can't stand it when people get strawberry milkshakes because that's what she got. It's like they're trying to revive her, and channel her. I just smack the shakes out of their hands and go into the forest to train.
Happy doesn't live with me anymore, I kept forgetting to feed him.
I would just walk into the forest for hours, screaming out spells. And then I would break down and cry, muttering her name.
I didn't go to the funeral. I didn't want to see her body. The cuts that wouldn't heal, the eyes that wouldn't open, and the mouth that would never smile.
I keep thinking I hear her laugh, I keep seeing her smile. All the shades of brown are the same milk chocolate color of her eyes. Every blonde head is hers. Every shade of pink is her guild mark. She's everywhere. And now, nowhere. All because I failed to save her. I always wondered what might happen if I failed. Now I know.