So this is my first Sherlock fanfic. It's not much. This was an IM between me and my friend, Emmaz1098. I was John, she Sherlock. Again, not much, but I HAD to post it.
Emma – I had to! I will have an actual good fic soon, I hope. As the one who introduced me to Sherlock and got me addicted to it, and this IM's cocreator, this is for you.
Sherlock
Oh, John, if you smell that burning, don't worry.
John
Why?
What did you do?
Sherlock
It's just a small hiccup in my experiment.
John
What experiment?
Sherlock
John, don't you listen to me? I told you I was testing the combination of chemical bleach with other household detergents today.
John
And I suppose this is ground-breaking research?
Sherlock
I have found it very interesting that gasoline and bleach make a very spectacular fire show.
Don't come down stairs.
For an hour.
Or 2.
Maybe 3.
John
Trust me, I won't.
I'll just be up here blogging.
Sherlock
JOOOHHHNNNNN
John
Sherlock.
Sherlock
My mobile is sitting on the coffee table, can you get it for me?
John
You're three feet away.
Sherlock
I'm busy.
John
*Ugh* Fine, here you are.
Sherlock
Thank you.
John
Do I have to send the text, too?
Sherlock
Yes, in fact.
John
What's the number?
Sherlock
Tell Mycroft that it's a code 13. And while you're at it tell Lestrade it was the stepson; just look at his cufflinks.
John
How would his cufflinks tell you anything?
Sherlock
Simple.
John
Wait! Code 13? Did you make a bomb?
Sherlock
Code 13 means it is his birthday.
John
His birthday? Mycroft has a birthday? I always assumed he descended from the heavens to bless us with his presence.
Sherlock
No, unfortunately. John, would you make some tea? I'm thirsty.
John
WHY IS THERE A HEAD IN THE FRIDGE?
Sherlock
Two sugars, no cream, thank you.
John
I repeat: head. Why?
Sherlock
Testing blood oxygen levels after death.
John
Sorry I asked.
Sherlock
Quite alright. I enjoy the stimulation of conversation... makes things less... dull.
John
At least you didn't shoot the wall this time...
Sherlock
John, if you just heard that explosion, I could use a hand down here.
John
Did you lose one?
Sherlock
Just get down here John, before I take your computer and see how high I can get the core temperature before it explodes.
John
I'm coming!
Sherlock
Did you know that chemical burns on your skin set rather fast?
John
How did you find this out? No, wait, don't - don't tell me.
Sherlock
Bring your first aid kit.
John
I figured that much.
Sherlock
Just don't make me go to the hospital. Those places are dull. Can you treat the chemical burn on my hand here?
John
No, I think I'll have to amputate.
Kidding, kidding.
Sherlock
Also I think the force of the explosion caused me to break my wrist, and get a concussion. No big deal.
I'm fine.
John
But we have to set that.
STAY STILL!
Hold that icepack there.
Sherlock
Fine.
John
No, you're not.
Sherlock
Yes I am.
John
No, just sit still!
Sherlock
It's just a scratch.
John
Not really.
Sherlock
Ok, ok, you win.
This time.
John
This time? You plan on blowing yourself up again?
Sherlock
Depends on the chemical reaction.
John
I will run out of supplies.
Sherlock
Don't tell Mycroft. He will take my equipment away.
John
Don't scratch the table or Ms Hudson will.
Sherlock
Don't know how he keeps getting in here…I changed the lock twenty times.
John
he makes the CCTV's follow me. I think he can get through a lock.
Is that why I keep getting locked out?
Sherlock
Yes.
Jooohhhhnnnnnn.
John
You could at least get me a key.
Sherlock
JOOOHHHHNNNNN. More important matter at hand.
John
What?
Sherlock
I lit the kitchen on fire.
Where is the fire extinguisher?
John
I'll get the fire extinguisher.
Here...
Sherlock
Thank you.
John
No, click that switch there.
Sherlock
Here.
You do it.
John
And…we're having foam for dinner. Nice job, Sherlock.
Sherlock
Don't tell Mycroft.
John
He's standing behind you.
Sherlock
Please.
Oh.
Hello brother dearest.
John
Uh, hello there Mycroft.
And what brings you here this time?
Another trip to Buckingham Palace?
Sherlock's really enjoying that ashtray.
Sherlock
I don't smoke.
John
Sure, sure.
Sherlock
No, Mycroft, I will not tell you how I broke my wrist.
Nope, not chemical burns.
I tripped down the stairs.
I am not lying!
John
I will tell you I need to get more supplies from the bathroom. You two play nice.
Sherlock
Ha.
John
Sherlock, why is Mycroft passed out in the chair?
Sherlock
Left the burner on - toxic fumes... I am definitely losing my equipment... can I hide it in your room?
John
What? Oh, fine.
Go ahead.
Sherlock
Thank you.
John
Just not in my underwear drawer!
Sherlock
Now could you wake him up?
John
How do you propose I do that?
Sherlock
You're the doctor
John
MYCROFT!
YOUR BROTHER'S WEARING THAT SHEET AGAIN!
Sherlock
Because that is going to work.
John
Oh good, you're up.
He really didn't like that sheet.
Sherlock
I liked it, it was comfortable.
John
Yes, but in Buckingham Palace?
Sherlock
Didn't we already discuss this?
John
Yes. Mycroft, what do you want?
Sherlock
I deduce he wants us to help a politician out of a tight spot... dull. NO. Now who wants to play Cluedo?
John
THEY CANNOT COMMIT SUICIDE!
IT'S NOT IN THE RULES!
Sherlock
Yes he can! The evidence was obvious!
John
Not in the rules, Sherlock.
Sherlock
Well the rules are wrong!
John
Didn't we say we were never playing that again?
Sherlock
YOU said it.
I'm borrrreeeeeeddddddddddd.
Oh, just leave, Mycroft.
John
Go get your gun, I repainted the smiley face.
I'll deal with Mycroft.
That's right, shoo, shoo.
Sherlock
Well actually I have to be going to play the violin.
John
Have fun with that, I'm going to blog now…