I Don't Think I'll Be Going To Forks Anymore
Bella,
As you know, I wasn't okay before.
But I am now.
It's mean to say that, I know, but what's the point of lying if you know this?
Last night I cried. I cried when I woke up, I cried when I opened the closet, I cried when I ate breakfast and I cried as I closed the door to the apartment. I even fucking cried when I brushed my teeth.
So, here I am, writing this god forsaken letter at your doorstep, even though I know you'll never open the door to me. But here I am, again, being a fool for you.
Jasper says I have to move on, and the first time he said that, I punched him and broke his nose. Then Alice said it and I cussed her out. Next was Emmett, and I knew if I hit him, I would end up worse. Finally, there was Rosalie. You know, she never hated you. She cried when you left.
I'm moving to Los Angeles. But I don't think I'll ever be back. I don't think I could live through landing and knowing I'm not going to see you again; without your voice guiding telling me where to turn to find you.
So, I guess this is our second goodbye.
Thank you for giving me three years of the happiest moments of my life so far. Thank you for showing me what love is. And most of all, thank you for loving me for me.
I'll find you one day, Bella, and I'll show you that we are meant to be. Maybe just not now, maybe just some time later. When I get to the place as high as where you are now, I'll prove to you that we were meant to be.
E.C