The return of the Zodiac
I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!
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ANNOUNCEMENT!
I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!
SUMMARY:
On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!
The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.
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"Him and I...Grammar Stanley"
Corrects an unrepentant Ford as Stan joins the circle...now in a different universe this poorly timed 'grammer nazi' attitude would cause an enraged Stan to break the circle and attack Ford dooming everyone- for the moment -
Click
Thankfully, this is NOT that universe. Stan stops Mid-rage as a familiar lump is pressed against his chest. "Move and I shoot." Stated Wendy coldly as she pressed the crossbow tip further into the skin above Stan's heart.
Stan gulps...but obliges. Wendy nods...then turns to Ford, "Say another word, and YOU get it." She says darkly as she points the crossbow at him. Ford gulps but also nods.
Dipper once more looked at her in awe as they complete the Zodiac-
CRASH!
Just in time!
"HA! I GOT YOU ALL- WAIT!? WHAT?! NO!
But it was too late...the zodiac would not be denied...it enveloped the malevolent Triangle Demon...and turned him to stone!
"YEAH! HE'S GONE! WE DID IT! GREAT JOB EVERYONE!" Shouted everyone excitedly as the now miniature Bill statue feel in between them...
Their celebration was short lived... A familiar laugh was heard, "Jokes on you suckers! I maybe powerless now...but so are you!" 'Shouts' the Bill statue.
The group was terrified by their foe returning...then confused by his words...suddenly they realized that it wasn't 'words'...it was thoughts! they were reading his thoughts! ...In fact...instead of speaking, they were ALL projecting words into each others minds!
"Uh...guys? Why can't I move?" Asks a concerned Soos. And that's when they realized something...Bill wasn't the only statue...they all were! Their bodies were completely petrified. their clothes were untouched- except Dipper, Stan and Wendy's hats for some reason -making them all look like someone put clothes on a bunch of statues holding hands around a freakish demon statue!
Stan...eloquent as ever...summed up everyone's thoughts: "Well, this sucks..."
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With Bill defeated, his minions got sucked back home, and all his damage was undone...soon they were just a bunch of Statues in the middle of the forest...the Fearamid long gone...
Interestingly enough...the three Journals were fully restored and fell to the ground before them within the circle...before getting petrified as well. "Great...even if we could move- which we can't -we still wouldn't be able to read to pass the time." Thinks/shouts Ford.
There was a long awkward pause... "So...anyone know any good games to pass the time?" Asks Soos. "OH! ME!" Shouts Mable. "NO!" Screams everyone else.
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People came to look for them naturally...sadly their telepathic powers couldn't extend to anyone not a statue it seemed... They found them...assumed the worse...held a ceremony honoring them...and then left...
"I spy...with my little eye-
"A rock." Interrupts Stan dully.
"Dang! Everytime he gets it." Exclaims Soos...
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Time...went by...the sun and moon the only thing to indicate the passage of time at all...the group got so desperate...they even let Mable choose a game-
"140520 bottles of ginger ale on the wall! 140520 bottles of ginger ale!" "MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP!" Screamed Bill in horror, he knew realms of torment that was worse suffering then this...
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"op! I think it's about to give!" Shouted Pacifica happily, after some time, the group had realized, that since their clothes hadn't petrified...they were slowly but Shirley rotting away...at first they were a bit embarrassed to the prospect of being exposed to everyone for seemingly all eternity...but frankly...they were just so BORED! They'd been here...even Ford had lost track! They could tell time by the position of the sun and moon, and the season from the weather and leaves...but that's it! It was...kinda just all bluring together at this point...
In any case...now they had made a bit of a game of it...
..and it looked like...Wendy's shirt would be the first piece of clothing to give out...one more blow of the wind...and yep, the frazzled flannel was now gone! "Huh, I honestly forgot if I was wearing a bra or not." Thought Wendy dimly as the others gave some good natured catcalls...
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"HEY! Don't even think about it!" Shouts Stan as a chupicabra raised it's leg near his...what happened next prompted laughter from everyone else...
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BOOM!
"And it just...we Traingles were at the bottom of the heap...we had NO say in anything...when we were born, when we were to die, who we could love, our very thought, feelings and dreams were dictated and controlled by our cruel masters! That saw us as worse then chattel!" Sobbed Bill as he told his life story...
BOOM!
"Wow...that's horrible...not enough to justify all the horrible things you did AFTER you destroyed your home dimension...but still...I'm so sorry Bill." Said a sympathetic Mable
BOOM!
"Thanks Mable-
BOOM!
-y'know...I thought this whole thing would be-
BOOM!
-Would be hell to live through-
BOOM!
-But you've really-
BOOM!
-I mean having you here-
BOOM!
-What I'm trying to say-
BOOM!
BOOM!
BOOM!
"FOR THE LOVE OF XANATOS, WHAT IS THAT RACKET!? I'M TRYING TO HAVE SOME STINKING CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT HERE!"
Ford, the only one in any position to see anything... "I think...yep, Mushroom cloud. Looks like humanity's finally ending it all." "Eh, was bound to happen sooner or later." Said the jaded Robbie with a mental shrug of apathy, and his equally jaded companions agreed...
All this time to think and do nothing...had given them plenty of time to mourn and get over how they're family and friends had long since died...now...now there was just the question of who's clothes were gonna rot off next...
...
...and the answer was...
"well! There goes your boxers Dipper! Heh, 'early bloomer' huh?" Teased Wendy playfully.
Dipper mentally shrugged off the acknowledgment of his teeny weeny, "Hey...I'm not as small as Robbie."
Robbie chuckled, "Maybe not...but at least I get a birds eye view of Mable getting sick at looking at her brothers willy for the next eternity."
Yep, it was amazing how enough time could make a person get use and brush off everything...
"I wish I could claw out my never-closing eyes!" Screamed Mable...
...well...almost everything...
...
BOOM!
"Well...there goes the mushroom clouds again...so much for the 'great ape confederacy'" Says Soos calmly as yet another civilization bit the dust.
"Soos pay attention! That was 5 Armageddons ago! Were onto the 'great slug empire's' deathrattle now!" Corrected Ford.
"Wait, was the apes before or after the crocodile federation went up in smoke?" Asked Gideon confused.
"It was AFTER the Crocodiles, I remember quite clear." Said Wendy.
"But BEFORE the camels." Pointed out Pacifica.
"Hold on! I definitely remember the camels biting it BEFORE the jellyfish!"
And so they argued about it into the night...long after the last slug fell down dead...and new life could start again...
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"ugh, great Unicorns...I was over them BEFORE I turned to stone." Says Mable as the two alicorn sisters begin to survey the spot as the new place for their palace.
"Sister what are we to do with those odd statues?" Asks Luna.
Celestia thinks on it, "Oh, just build around them. Such ancient artifacts should be preserved...plus, it'll do wonders for the decor!" Luna rolls her eyes...but agrees.
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"YEESH! And I thought our relationship was bad!" Said Stan to Ford as they watched Celestia banish her sister to the moon...
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After that, the castle was abandoned...and left to rot...until...
"Huh, a rag-tag team of adventurers on an epic journey to defeat a great evil...boy dose that bring back memories." Says Ford happily as he watches the mane six try to activate the elements of harmony.
"Speak for yourself." Says bill annoyed.
"AND FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC!" Shouted Twilight as the elements ignited.
Dipper rolled his eye's, "Really? That's the best thing you could think to-
ZAP!
And then the elemental energy hit them...and the group breathed their first breath eons...felt the breeze on their bare skin...and one look at each other...and they were flesh once more!
"We...were alive! Were alive!" They all shouted and ran to give each other a hug...only to fall down immediately since they weren't use to walking again...but they didn't care! THEY WERE ALIVE!
The mane six looked at this in astonished confusion.
"Oooookay...that just happened." Said Twilight...
...…...
TO BE CONTINUED?
AN: Want me to continue this? I'm willing to take Bribes! Publish a chapter of my 'Shake up the Falls' Challenge before anyone else and I'll update the next chapter this plus two other stories!
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