NCIS: Deep Down

Author: AnonymousNCISFan
Rating: PG-13

Summary: A relationship explored

Pairing: Gibbs/Abby friendship

Spoilers: Up to & including Season 14 (Takes place during Season 14, right after Pandora's Box. It also relies on plot points from "Willoughby" and "Off the Grid" Lots of callbacks to earlier seasons with Gibbs/Abby moments.).

Warnings: Extreme Angst, possible character death

NOTE: Quotes in italics are from past episodes

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters and am making no money off this – I appreciate the creative minds at NCIS and the brilliant actors who bring these beloved characters to life.

Author's Notes: I know Gibbs has experienced way too much pain in his life, but WARNING: this story brings him through one of his most painful journeys yet. It's in response to the coldness and distance I've noticed developing between Gibbs and Abby in Season 14. In my mind, those two and their relationship are the heart of the show. Lately, Gibbs has been less than fatherly toward her – barking at her, being ungrateful and standoffish, never smiling in the lab. I want that good Gibbs/Abby vibe back, even if I have to break Gibbs to do it LOL. Mostly, it's just to let my feelings out (and maybe yours too!). This is an attempt to explain the distance that, it seems, has grown between them, and also is an attempt to fix it. Plenty of callbacks and Easter Eggs for long-time NCIS & Gibbs/Abby fans! Feedback is much appreciated!

Chapter 1 – Cracks: Turning into Something Bigger…

Gibbs' House…11:45PM

Gibbs settled back on his new, plush couch, intently reading a book he would've laughed at 10 years ago – "The Sensitive Man's Survival Handbook." He knew it shocked the team when they found it – he was always so direct, so quiet, and harsh at times. He had to be. He was a federal agent. But deep down, down where his heart still ached from the loss of his wife and daughter, he knew the truth that nobody would ever guess – his heart was sensitive and easily broken. It bled easily, and steadily, these last few years, as the losses piled on. His rough and tumble "John Wayne" exterior fooled some, but not all. One person knew all too well – had known long before he had even begun to acknowledge it to himself.

"Ah, Abbs," he sighed out loud, thinking of the forensic scientist who somehow stole his heart nearly 18 years ago. Shaking his head, Gibbs removed his glasses and closed the book, placing it on the coffee table. She'd been on his mind lately, as he kept examining how she'd managed to fix the "Kelly plate" – the plate his daughter had given him only months before she and her mother were murdered. While Quinn may've accidentally broken the dish, the crack was already forming and he knew it. Yet he refused to acknowledge it, or reach out for help to fix it. He supposed the book he was reading would call that symbolic – how he too had so many cracks that he refused to reach out for help to mend.

And of course it had been Abby who'd fixed the plate – and not just fixed it, but made it brand new. As Gibbs reflected on the plate, he realized it's what Abby did for him, too – made him a better person, gave him a second chance to be a good father, even if he had struck out in the role of husband. He once told her simply, "The things you do mean something to people." He knew it was the understatement of the year, but couldn't bring himself to express anything deeper – he'd even told her once, when he offered to listen to her issues with insomnia several years back: "Nothing too deep, Abbs."

Gibbs winced at the memory, and at his treatment of her these past few months. If he was honest, Ziva's death and Tony's departure were pressing on him, reminding him of how easily his family could be lost again, over and over. He was grateful Fornell survived, and having him around eased the ache. But Abby was a reminder of how things used to be – of the old team – and she wore her heart on her sleeve. Coming down to see her upset or overly wound up tore at Gibbs, and he responded with slight agitation and distance.

The day he went "off the grid," he knew Abby would be worried sick, and she was. Yet when he returned, he merely gave her a quick hug and swiftly got back to work, even barking at her to get back on track when she wandered. He knew her mind wandered because she was so brilliant, so full of energy and life and love that her body could barely contain it. He knew her struggle, yet he chose to play annoyed and removed.

"Not so sensitive after all," Gibbs sighed, pushing the book away and leaning back to look at the ceiling. This was especially true during Abby's latest adventure with Homeland. He just sat there in interrogation as she poured her heart out to him, the pain she felt over having almost killed 100s of people in a fake terrorist attack that became all too real. He could've lost her, yet he chose to distance himself even as she cried over her friend's death and her unwanted involvement in the scheme.

He should call her. See if she was OK. At the very least, he should thank her for fixing Kelly's plate - an item that meant so much to him. Hell, he should thank her for fixing him in so many ways. But he knew he wouldn't – he couldn't. It wasn't his way. It wasn't comfortable – it was a damn noose that tightened at his throat when he thought about spilling out what was in his heart.

"Do you believe miracles?" Quinn had asked, to which he simply and quickly responded, "No."

"Do you believe in Abby?" His response came just as swiftly.

"With all my heart."

Had he just said that? Had he just exposed himself? Was the book rubbing off on him? He looked down at the plate, almost embarrassed he'd said that much to Quinn. He'd never said anything like that to Abby. He'd almost prided himself on how he was able to hold back, but when Quinn revealed what he should've already guessed at about the plate, his heart took over. And he let it slip – his big secret – not only did he have a heart, but he let someone in.

Gibbs' thoughts were disrupted by the buzz of his flip phone. He gave a half smile as he saw the caller ID – it was Abby. She had always said they had a connection – something deep – like magic. Gibbs didn't believe in magic, or miracles, but he did believe in Abby, with all his heart. Of course she would call him now. He felt caught, as if she knew he was thinking of her.

"Hey, Abbs, what's up?" he answered, waiting for the usual chipper response. What he heard instead nearly made his heart stop.

"Agent Gibbs?" a decidedly male voice responded on the other end. Gibbs frowned and swallowed.

"Who is this?" he asked, a bite in his voice.

"Detective Simmons. I'm with Metro PD."

Gibbs' mind was screaming as he focused on the plate Abby had so carefully repaired, trying to calm himself, trying to remain in control.

"Tell me," Gibbs rasped, trying to prepare himself for whatever awaited him.

"Agent Gibbs…there's been an accident. We need you to come down."

"Where's Abby?" he asked, his tone dark and deep.

"It's best if you just come down. I'm texting you the address."

"Hey! Tell me what the hell's going on?!" All Gibbs heard was a click, followed by a buzz that revealed an address not far from his home. Glancing at the plate one last time, Gibbs swallowed and got up, grabbing his coat and keys as he slammed the door behind him.

TO BE CONTINUED…