Because of You, a beyblade fanfic

Because of You

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery

Just because you had a bad life, and now have these crazy dreams, it doesn't mean I have to be part of them.

You were miserable, still are miserable, it's obvious. I was nothing but a pawn to you in a cruel game of chess-why? What did you really want?

Whatever it was, I'm not going to end up the same way, I swear it.

I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

You trained me not to show emotion-emotion is weakness.

It shows your opponent where your weaknesses are.

So I obeyed; I listened.

I know what they call me

They think I simply do not have any emotions

Shallowly, I don't

Dig deep enough and I may as well be a swimming pool…

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

Now, so many years later, I am not the timid boy I once was, but I am still innocent inside.

I am prudent and cautious, wary of everything, scared of everything.

I don't trust my emotions

I don't trust other's emotions

All because I couldn't trust one person's emotions, so many years ago.

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because I know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

I can still hear your harsh voice ringing in my ears, telling me what to do

No emotion

Especially not ones of sadness, or love-they are clingy. You should not get attached to people. It makes you weak.

The only emotion somewhat acceptable is anger.

You made me feel so horrible about myself that way, and I tried so hard to change

But it wasn't enough, was never enough, not for you

You saw me as emotional, while forever more the rest of the world would see me as cold-hearted.

I'm forced to fake being content with life, even if I am bleeding inside

But I'm not okay

Then again,

How can I not be okay if I wasn't okay to start with?

Now, so many years later, I am not the timid boy I once was, but I am still innocent inside.

I am prudent and cautious, wary of everything, scared of everything.

I don't trust my emotions

I don't trust other's emotions

All because I couldn't trust one person's emotions, so many years ago.

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

I was only a child, what sensible, grown man uses a mere child for world domination?

You didn't think things through,

You figured the world would go along with your ploy,

You didn't realize that there are people who want to do good.

And now I guess everything that I am now is because of you.

Because of you
I never stay too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty

My life is not empty…I have people who actually care for me, my friends, and my 'blade, but what is life worth…

If you can't share it?

No one wants to end up like me

People idolize me-

They shouldn't.

It's a long, lonely road that I walk,

And although people have tried, time and time again,

I walk alone.

Other people don't have to bear my pain. It is mine and mine alone to hold.

Sometimes, I wish someone would try just that much harder,

But until then, I walk alone.

Because of you,
I am afraid...
Because of you
Because of you...

RR- Well, I don't know if this has been done before, and I am well aware Ffnet will probably delete it, but I love it and I've wanted to write it for a year now, and now I have.

Sorry if you hate the song and/or Kelly Clarkson, but I don't care. I love the song and I think it describes Kai perfectly. Bit of Green Day at the end, too...I think Boulevard of Broken Dreams is very Kai-ish, also.

(For those of you who didn't know for some reason, this was in Kai's POV.)

The song basically said it all…I didn't even have to write anything. But then it wouldn't be a fanfiction, would it?

Please review to tell me what you thought!

-RR