Thoughts on how the beginning of 9x01 could've gone! PS: I wrote this without editing, so I apologize for any errors. And I sort-of stole some lines from the show.

Warmth. That was the first thing he registered as Clark Kent seized control of his body for the first time in weeks. He wasn't even touching her, but just seeing her face again was enough to make his skin tingle with the blood of human life.

Lois.

There was a shallow cut on her forehead, but other than that, she looked relatively unscathed. She looked beautiful. A smile graced his lips at the sight of her. He let himself stare at her for a few more moments before he remembered he was holding up a train full of people. Gently as possible, he placed the train down on the street all the while ensuring that Lois, and the rest of the passengers, didn't shift in a violent manner and injure themselves any further.

She was now leaned up against the front of a seat and began to shift. Her eyelids fluttered, but he stayed until the last second. He couldn't help it. It had only been three weeks, but for him, in the Fortress and out on the city rooftops as Kal-El, it had felt like years. He hadn't slept. He hadn't eaten. He hadn't stopped searching. So now, even as he risked exposure after everything he'd worked for, he found himself rooted to the spot.

But reality set in when she groaned and her eyes started searching the floor in front of her. Speeding away, he quickly burned his family crest into the brick wall adjacent to the train before jumping on to the rooftop above him. He felt his internal temperature immediately drop, along with his heart rate. While his own thumping chest quieted quickly, another intensifying heartbeat filled his ears. He jumped further away from the scene, but he couldn't ignore the sound. It was overwhelming.

He peered down at the scene in the street and found that it was originating from that location. All rational parts of his brain told him exactly what—or rather who it was, but Kal-El's will was stronger. He couldn't let himself concentrate on it because she was safe and that's all that mattered. They were all safe. Safe.

He stayed long enough to see that she was okay. That's what he told himself. But the truth was, he'd said that hours ago and here he was watching her from a building across from the hospital. She was sleeping now, but he justified his presence there simply because no one else was. No nurse or doctor watching over her, no family, no friends… it tore at his insides. He wanted to be there watching her chest rise and fall with easy breathing, touching her once more and feeling her warmth overwhelm him again.

She stirred suddenly and his hands gripped the railing in anticipation. Tuning in his hearing, he heard a sigh escape her lips. It was a wonderful sound, even if it was made due to pain. But she sat up rather quickly and promptly pulled her IV out as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. Ready to leap through the window and stop her himself, he stilled when he saw Chloe walk through the door. Unable to look at her directly, he turned his head towards the sky.

There. Someone was with her now. He could leave. But he stood rooted to the same spot for a few minutes more until another cry for help forced him to leave. Kal-El once again overtook his body as he sped toward the cries for help, but the steady rhythm of her heartbeat did not escape him.

It was almost midnight by the time he was able to come to a stop. Ironically, it had been the rooftop of the Daily Planet that he had chosen as his resting spot. Kal-El tried to tell himself that it was by chance, that this was simply the highest building in the area, but he knew better. Everything led back to her.

As the clock struck twelve, his eyes turned to focus on the clock tower that stood tall above Metropolis. Shutting his eyes, he focused his hearing on its loud ringing. He let the vibrations take over his body and allowed each chime invade his senses until that was all he could hear or feel. The noise was a good distraction from the constant thudding in his head, but after the twelve rings were over, he found the thumping louder than usual. Opening his eyes, he realized why.

Running down the sidewalk below him was Lois Lane. His fists clenched involuntarily at his sides. She should still be in the hospital. She had been hurt. She had been gone. He exhaled slowly, trying to calm his body's physical reactions, but nothing worked. Kal-El had no powers of restraint against Lois Lane.

"Hello?"

His knees shook. How many times had he dreamed about hearing that voice again? Lois was pressed up against the glass inside the phone booth, but she hung phone up just as quickly as she raised it.

"Oh, no, no... Maybe you're not calling because you're here," she whispered. He sucked in a breath and screwed his eyes shut. Don't.

"Hello?" she yelled into the sky. Her body was directed towards his position in the sky, but he was sure that she couldn't see him. This was confirmed as soon as she turned the other way.

"Look, I know what you did for Chloe. At least let me thank you." Every instinct he had told him to rush down to her, to collect her in his arms and never let her go, but he couldn't. His training was more important than his human emotions. He had to push them away.

"Look, I'm sorry I'm late!"

No.

"I promise you can trust me!" Her voice broke at the end of her sentence and he lost it. He couldn't stand the distance anymore. Not when she was so close to him after being gone for what felt like forever. Three weeks of training hadn't given him enough strength to get over Lois Lane. He wasn't sure any amount of time could do that.

He jumped down into the dark alley behind her with a rather loud landing. He didn't trust himself to speak in front of her just yet, if at all. Thankfully, the sound of his arrival alerted her to his presence. Her body stilled for a moment before she turned towards him. Squinting, she took a few hesitant steps toward him, but when he retreated, she stopped.

"Hi," she said. God, she was stunning. The dim light from the street lamp above cast a glow around her body that reminded him of an angel. Though she was wearing a blood-stained tank top and her hair was in total disarray, he couldn't get over how beautiful she was. It was while these thoughts were running through his head that he realized he hadn't responded.

"Thank you for waiting. I'm sorry I was late," she said sheepishly. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Where were you?" he said. His voice came out strangled. He hadn't spoken in weeks, hadn't needed to, so his own voice was unrecognizable to both of them. She froze at the sound of his voice, but composed herself quickly.

"The hospital. I had to sneak—"

"No! Where were you?"

He hadn't meant to yell, but he couldn't control himself. The overflow of human emotions had destroyed any self-control he had previously exhibited. Frustrated with the situation and himself, he swung his fist into the corner of the building beside him. Brick fragments exploded and scattered across the alley, while his body heaved. He hadn't felt winded in years, but right now, his body felt as if he had been running non-stop for centries.

"You were gone for three weeks!"

If Lois recognized his voice, she gave no indication. Instead, she approached him cautiously with arms raised. If his emotions hadn't been running so high, he would've laughed at the situation. He felt like a rabid animal that was in the process of being tamed.

"What are you talking about?" she asked. "No! I was at the Planet and woke up on the train and… that was you, right? The train?"

"You've been missing for three weeks, Lois."

Her confused expression softened immediately at the sound of her first name leaving his lips. He had never called her anything but 'Miss Lane' while talking to her as the Blur. However, she was quiet and motionless. He assumed she was trying to process this new information as her eyes drifted to the ground, but it was only momentary. Her eyes focused on him now, or where she thought he might be. He had retreated with each step she had taken earlier, but he was running out of room behind him now.

She took another step forward and he took one back again, this time, hitting wall. This didn't deter her though. She continued to walk forward until she was just outside the edge of the shadow that protected him.

"Lois," he said. She stopped at the sound of his voice, but raised a cautious hand.

"Please."

Who was he to deny her? He couldn't. Not this. Not anymore. As her fingertips crossed the line dividing light and dark, he grasped them in his own. He heard her quick intake of breath at the contact, but could only focus on the fire that ignited deep in his chest as his skin touched hers for the first time in weeks.

The last of his willpower crumbled and he tugged her gently towards him. Her scent overwhelmed his senses at the closeness of their bodies and he almost felt lightheaded. Logic and thought went out the window as her warm breath hit his neck and her hands came to rest on his chest. He dared to look down at her, but her gaze was focused solely on the crest that covered his black t-shirt. One of her fingers traced the S-like shape and he shivered.

However, as her eyes began to travel up his chest and towards his face, he found himself suddenly incredibly afraid. Instinctively, he pushed her away slightly, though he did not loosen his hold on her arms. Somehow understanding him, she stood there without looking up at him yet. Instead, she slowly pried his hands off of her arms.

"It's okay. You can trust me," she whispered. "Please."

Words weren't enough in that moment, so he did what he'd been dreaming about ever since he realized she was missing. Crushing her against his chest, he lifted her face to his and finally met her gaze. Hazel eyes widened in shock, but he didn't give her time to process the revelation of his identity, because as soon as the beginning of his name left her lips, he silenced them with his own.

The feeling of her lips against his was incredible. It stripped him raw of all the walls he had built up over the past weeks and he welcomed it. The warmth that flowed through his body was sensational and he wanted nothing more than to feel that way forever. Her lips parted beneath his and she emitted a soft noise. But she had yet to kiss him back, and he had actually been about to pull away when he felt her hands finally grip his shirt. The new pressure of her lips on his set off his body in an entirely new way. Never before had he felt this sense of connection or completeness. He finally felt like he could breathe again.

His back was pushed up against the brick building behind him while Lois pressed herself closer to him. He felt her hands in his hair and let out a low growl. Nipping at her bottom lip, he was rewarded with a moan of appreciation. Anything that he had learned the past few weeks went out the window as he lost himself in her. He wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to feel like when he finally finished his training and embraced his destiny, but he was sure as hell it couldn't be anything compared to this.

As her hands slid down his neck and back to his chest, he felt her kisses start to lose their intensity. And as much as he wanted to stand there forever with Lois wrapped up in his arms, he also knew he needed to talk to her. To find out where she had been. Her lips brushed his softly once more before their mouths parted. His eyes immediately sought hers, but they were still closed. With her lips still parted, he traced her bottom lip with his thumb, effectively breaking her out of her trance.

"Lois?"

Hazel eyes met blue once again and he waited patiently for an answer. Even if she ran or hit him or screamed, he wouldn't care. The moment they had just shared would be enough to carry him through centuries alone if needed. But the look in her eyes told him that would never be the case. She gazed at him with all the adoration and wonder in the world, a look that made him realize then and there that he would never be able to live without this woman ever again.

"It's you," she breathed. "It's always been… you."

Her fingers touched the side of his cheek and he sighed while unconsciously leaning into her warm palm. Between her words and the look she was giving him right now, he wasn't sure how long he could last without attacking her mouth again. But his curiosity got the better of him. Cupping her cheeks in both of his hands, he brought her forehead to his own and closed his eyes.

"Where were you?" he asked for the third time. "I couldn't find you. I couldn't…"

He struggled with the right words and was annoyed when his throat caught with emotion. She pulled slightly back, but only so she could look at him directly again.

"I was fighting in the Planet with Tess and there was this orb," she said. "Then there was a flash and I ended up on the train… and you saved me."

The softness of her adoring voice made him weak enough to have to lean back and use the wall to brace himself. She took this as a sign of rejection and stepped slightly back, but his arm was shooting out just as quickly to reel her back into him. With her hands back on his chest, he felt the sense of heat he hadn't felt leave, return at full force. He tried to think of the right words to say— any words, really— but found it impossible to think about anything other than her.

"What happened, Smallville?"

As soon as the familiar nickname left her lips, he felt his heart squeeze. God, he had missed her. But the name reminded him of home and the events that had triggered his denunciation of humanity. Not even Kryptonite could force him to change his mind, but here Lois was doing it with just a touch. Images of David Bloome and Jimmy flashed through his mind, causing his eyes to fill with tears. There was no way he'd be able to tell her the story in this state, so he said the only words that he could that were true.

"You left."

As tears gathered in her eyes, they began to fall down Clark's face at a rapid pace. His face contorted as the first sob broke free from his mouth, but Lois moved quickly. Face pressed into her neck and arms wrapped tightly around her waist, he let himself fall completely against her. Soft shushes, among other sweet reassurances, broke from her lips as she stroked his back.

"I'm here now. I'm right here."

He wasn't sure how long they stood like that, but his super-hearing eventually picked up movement in the vicinity. Knowing that they were still in a very public place, he finally lifted his head from her shoulder. He looked up at her once more and cleared his throat.

"Someone's coming this way. Will you come with me?" he asked. He couldn't leave her like this. Not when he had just gotten her back. He gripped her shoulders tightly, but taking care not to bruise her. When she gave him a small nod, he swiftly picked her up and blurred away to the one place he knew they wouldn't be bothered. Home.

When he finally stopped moving, he found Lois still had her head buried into his shoulder to hide her face from the wind. Gently, he nudged her forehead with his own which caused her to look up. As she did, he couldn't help himself. The twinkle in her eyes and the slight smile on her face made it impossible not to brush his lips against hers once more. He had only had one taste and he was already addicted. But they had things to talk about, so he didn't let the kiss escalate any further.

Lois blushed, which he had never thought was possible, as he set her down on her feet. She brushed out her ruffled clothes, which Clark noticed were still bloody and dirty from her adventure to, well, wherever she had been. Before she could say a word, he blurred upstairs and retrieved some of his clothes for her to change into.

"Do you want to take a shower?" he asked. She shook her head, but took the change of clothes with a small smile. As she walked to the downstairs bathroom to change, Clark changed as well. It didn't feel right wearing that outfit in here… with her. Now wearing a grey t-shirt and jeans, he sat on the couch and waited patiently for her to come out. He stared at the door unabashedly and sucked in a breath when she walked out. Only Lois Lane could make sweatpants and a flannel look like the sexiest thing in the world on a woman.

Lois didn't take her eyes off of him as she walked over and sat down next to him. Neither spoke, each not knowing quite what to say. But it had always been Lois who couldn't stand the awkward silences, so he wasn't surprised when she was the one to break it.

"You look different."

Soft fingers brushed against his cheek briefly. He supposed he did look different since he hadn't shaved in a while, but truthfully, he hadn't had the need to look in a mirror recently. His own hand enclosed her fingers in his own and he sighed.

"I haven't exactly been myself lately," he replied. Lois swallowed nervously, he suspected, and her eyes fluttered shut for a moment before she looked back up at him.

"I just want you to know that you don't have to tell me everything right now. Or even ever. Not if you don't want to," she said. Her voice was shaking and he couldn't understand why, but her verbal vomit continued. "I mean, it would be nice eventually, because I do have a few questions. But also, no pressure."

"I want to tell you everything. And I will. I just…" his voice trailed off as he caught her gaze again. He was so entranced by those beautiful, hazel orbs that he couldn't finish his line of thought. Instead, he touched her face again, relishing in the softness of her skin.

"You just what, Smallville?" she asked as she lifted her hand to cover his own. Taking in a shaky breath, he widened his fingers so hers could slip in between them.

"I just missed you. God, I missed you," he breathed before her kissed her again. He knew that he was avoiding the topic at hand, but he was powerless in her presence. And in this close proximity, there was absolutely nothing he could do or wanted to do about it. Lois didn't seem to mind, though. In fact, she responded rather enthusiastically before her senses seemed to kick in.

"I missed you too," she said. "But I guess not quite like you missed me, huh?"

"You have no idea," he said. Smiles appeared on both of their faces briefly before Lois got a serious look on her face.

"Mind enlightening me?" she asked quietly. Clark sighed and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Lois, all I know is that after I defeated Doomsday, I couldn't find you for three weeks. You disappeared," he said. "And I searched everywhere, but I couldn't find you. I couldn't hear you until I found you on that train today."

"You couldn't hear me?" she asked with a furrowed brow. Her wonderful, steady heartbeat echoed in the back of his mind, now a calming song that put him at ease once again. Avoiding her eyes, he traced his fingers down the side of her neck until his palm came to rest over her heart.

"Your heartbeat. I couldn't hear your heartbeat," he whispered. "You weren't lost you were just… gone. And I thought that maybe you'd…"

He couldn't finish the sentence. Though he wasn't proud of it, there was one day that he allowed himself to believe Lois Lane was dead. It had been the third day of her disappearance. He had circled the globe nine times at that point all while avoiding contact with the rest of the League, yet keeping a tab on their process. He knew Chloe was searching for her too. But the reality that he couldn't find her hit him when the silence in his head became too much. Normally, when all was quiet, he still had the quiet thumping in the back of his head to keep him grounded. But the silence of his own thoughts was maddening.

"Can you hear it now?" she asked, her voice thick in her throat. He nodded and a smile tugged at his lips as he heard it increase.

"The rhythm just went up."

"Oh." Her cheeks went pink at that, something that had happened twice now solely due to him, but she smiled nonetheless.

"Can you blame a girl? I mean, dropping the 'identity bomb' and the 'feelings bomb' at the same time?" she said. For a third time, her cheeks went red. "Not that there was a 'feelings bomb' or anything. I know you were probably caught up in the moment and were worried or just needed some—"

"Lois, I— Clark Kent died when you left. And he hasn't been back around until now," he said. "You brought me back."

It was Lois that kissed Clark this time. Taken by surprise, Clark fell backwards into the couch all while pulling her and their still fused lips with him. He cradled her head in his left hand while his other arm pressed her up against him. He wanted to consume her. She had come back into his life only hours ago and already had destroyed weeks of focus. But he welcomed it. She made him feel again. She broke from his mouth briefly to look into his eyes once more.

"Everything else can wait. For now, let's just have this."