For KB, who means more to me than anyone else in the world. You're the best friend I could ever ask for.
AN: Because today is a day I want to show my appreciation.
There are so many things I want to say to you but every time I open my mouth the words refuse to come out. I've tried so many times to force them out, to tell you the truth, but I can't. It isn't because I don't mean them-those words are from my heart. Perhaps that's why I struggle so hard to say them.
It's been so long since I've felt this way. So weak and vulnerable . . . So alive . . . So human. I haven't had a heart for a very long time. Not a beating one, anyway.
Yet the moment you came into my life, I've felt things I'd thought I'd lost long ago. Feelings I gave up on willingly because they always hurt more than any physical pain I've experienced.
What I mean to say is that you . . . Well, I feel alive whenever I'm around you. For the first time in years, I'm not just a broken, empty shell going listlessly through life with only eternity to look forward to. With you, life is worth living.
You know, brat, that's one of the reasons I can't accept your art. Who the hell is crazy enough to accept fleeting things as art? What's the point in creating something so beautiful only to have it taken away moments later? I can't stand losing things I consider precious. Every time you destroy one of your masterpieces something inside me dies with it.
I know how much you admire my art and respect it for what it is. How you view me as an artist and a masterpiece. How you want me to last forever even though it goes against your beliefs.
But the truth is I'm more like your art than you realize.
It pains me to say this, but you more than anyone deserves the truth. I am not eternal. I can't last forever. As much as I wish I can be eternal, to stay by your side forever . . . I can't. More than anything, I want to stay with you. I want to stay with our misfit group of psychopaths.
I want to be with you forever, brat, but I can't live forever. Not now that I'm dying.
I'm sorry for hurting you like this. I wish this fight had gone differently. I wish Granny hadn't used them in this fight . . . I don't think she truly realizes yet what she's done.
Mother, Father . . . It's been so long since I've seen them. Ever since that day so long ago, the day they left for that one simple mission . . . Since they promised to come back for me . . .
I hate liars. Even more, I hate broken promises. I . . . I hate myself for breaking my promise to you, even though I never said it.
I'm sorry, brat—Deidara. I'm sorry that I never told you the truth. I'm sorry that I've gotten myself killed when you expected me to win this fight. I'm sorry for leaving you alone, for all the times I've hurt you, and for the tears I know you'll hide when you finally come back.
I'm sorry.
But the one thing I'll never regret is getting to meet you.
You're the reason I continued on for so long. You're the reason I can finally truly smile for the first time in years. You're the reason I feel so alive now.
You're the reason I finally understand love.
Deidara . . . I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me.
"But . . . I guess . . ." I smile as I fade away, my last thoughts of him.
I'll see you again, brat. And then I'll finally tell you everything.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Naruto franchise. I'm just borrowing the characters to tell a story. Thanks, Kishimoto, for creating such wonderful characters and a truly amazing world.