Reflect My Sky
Disclaimer: I neither own the manga Katekyo Hitman Reborn by Akira Amano or the song 'Breathe no more' by Evanescence
"Speech."
'Thoughts'
Song lyrics
I've been looking in the mirror for so long
That I've come to believe my soul's on the other side
All the little pieces falling, shatter
Shards of me
Too sharp to put back together
Too small to matter
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
Dizzying… that was the only way he could describe the scene that continued to unfold in front of him.
Small, sickly-thin hands unconsciously lifted from his side, the tips craving for what he possessively gazed at. The one thing at laid untouched, untainted by any sick or foul force that haunted his side of reality…
'Why can't I reach it?'! Fumbling hands grabbed in front of him, scratching the firm exterior with fierce ferocity. Again and again they hammered against it, throbbing in ache in time with his heartbeat.
Thump… thump… thump… thump…
'Wait…'
Sudden thoughts brought him out of his hypnotic stupor, leaving him only to blink blankly at the item he had just abused.
'Wait…'
'Do I really want to see it again?'
The petite body turned slightly, pale ember eyes observing the endless tendrils of curdling darkness, eyeing them with suppressed fear, before twisting back to that which continued to hang lifelessly like a marionette, conducted by the mysterious owner that hid at the end of its strings.
Before the brunet a small orchid mirror hovered, its edges smothered in lacquered wood that pulled mercilessly on the web of glass to create a smooth, rippleless surface. It wasn't the mirror itself that frightened him, he had long ago grown used to the floating masses that decorated the endless abyss, appearing as naked glowing eyes that immersed themselves in the nights grotesque forms; that which by day any normal person would gaze at in delight. It was the scene itself… the endless show that had long ago poisoned his heart with its venomous fangs, only revealing themselves when he had least expected it; its teeth managing to always crush down on the last shreds of hope that still managed to latch onto his core.
Fingers curled and uncurled in his palms, sweat forming between the callous cracks that infested his palm like fungi before streaming down his skin, its cold trail making him shiver. His attention quickly switched back to the floating object as colours, before blurred were now more defined.
A sob crawled its way between his cracked lips as he recognised the figure that appeared.
The picture that flashed through the mirror was that of his mother.
Her short cut sienna hair fell across her face like a curtain, only serving to outline her chestnut eyes more. It was that pair of loving eyes he wanted to gaze up into again, to somehow gain her undeniable attention and like a spoiled child smother himself again with the warm, peaceful embrace that had become unquestionably his favourite thing about her. The most nostalgic too… the brunet could almost her silk touch and the warmth that inevitably followed begin to thaw against the icy shell that now trapped his heart, mind and soul.
'So warm, and so bright too…'
His fantasies though were cut short as he caught sight of his elder brother, a smile reaching ear to ear on his face, barrelling carelessly into his mother's clean apron. His brother's golden spikes bounced around his slightly chubby face, echoing his excitement as he giggled, tugging further on the dress his mother wore. The brunet boy could only watch as the two conversed, smiles grow further and further across their faces the longer they basked in each other's happiness.
'Happiness… why can't I remember what it feels like?'
A hand rigidly fiddled around the collar of an orange shirt that fitted loosely around the boy's body.
He felt so hollow… so lonely…
Sobs now harshly rolled out of his throat as well as searing tears which left sparkling snail trails trickled down his face, almost like a web catching crystal jewels from the falling rain or rising dew. He couldn't stop himself though. How could he not be jealous of his brother... of his mother…
A harsh shudder ran its course down his spine. Hands moved from his chest to cover his eyes.
'I don't wanna watch it anymore, don't wanna watch it, don't wanna watch it…'
'I just want to go back home!'
The video that played in the mirror finally slowed, the colours draining themselves from the surface, pooling down at the bottom of the frame before dispersing into nothing. He didn't notice it though as his knees finally caved under him, his body growing stiff as he felt his head loll against the dark marble-like surface.
A broken halo of crumpled and folded sienna spikes cushioned him as he felt the fraught emotions from earlier drain his muscles and limbs, his mind vulnerable to the ghostly screams and hollow pleas that he neglected before. Icy coils… fear… depression… alienation... that lingered around in his body began to constrict the rooting veins and arteries. Starting from the tips of his toes they devoured his body almost in one gulp… until they hesitated, twisting and quivering around the centre piece of a fragile gem, the heart. They continued dancing around the organ, flittering shadows pinned under the gaze of a steady candle. The darkness though could not touch his heart,his soul. Though that he already knew.
He knew because he could feel the last pilot flame in his heart roar, unwilling to go under submission. It was only a small orange flame, an irresistible blend of rich golden ochres and dazzling embers that cradled his last sense of sanity. That was enough though to keep him alive… to keep him breathing in the encroaching abyss… the crazed void he reluctantly inhabited.
He could not help it though as his mind thought otherwise...
"I'm here, why can't you see me?"
Evoking frantic and anxious emotions to claw to the surface...
"Why can't you see me?"
And make him continuously beg for the one thing he wanted like a damaged cassette tape stuck on repeat.
"Please just let me out… I just wanna go home!"
Tsunayoshi howled one last time before resigning himself to his fate, eyes finally glazing over as the slowly shut, only leaving his shuddering breaths as an indication of him still living, still fighting….
But I know the difference
Between myself and my reflection
I just can't help but to wonder
Which of us do you love
What left did he have to fight for though?
A/N: Yo! Hope you liked the story, sorry if it's a little confusing but if I continue on with this story it will all make sense later… If you think I should continue or just leave it please tell… I'm not sure whether to leave as a one-shot or continue!
Please leave a review at the bottom, and any kind to criticism, even flames helps me with my writing so please review!