Title: You're Holding My Soul Together
Author: moonfairyhime
Spoilers: Up to 01x05.
Characters: Wes and Travis (one-sided Wes/Travis)
Disclaimer: I don't own it.
Warnings: Wes's POV, more parentheses
Summary: The five things that Wes loves about Travis and the one thing he hates.
Author's Notes: I've always wanted to write a 5 and 1 fic and, for some reason, I'm not surprised that this fandom is the reason I'm finally writing one. No, seriously. The things this show makes me do is just ridiculous. Title from the song "Le Jazz Hot" (in this case, the Glee version). Thank you to dragongirl16 for being my beta. Written before 1x12 aired, so I had made up my own reason for why Wes pulled the gun on Travis.

One.

Wes loves the fact that they constantly argue about where to go for dinner. No, he knows it sounds weird that he loves arguing with his partner, but the fact that no one seems to understand whenever he tries to explain it (read: the one time he was slightly drunk and tried to explain how great it was to Alex) is that it never crosses either of their minds to not go to dinner together. Sure, they'll argue for an hour about where to go to eat (their longest running argument about where to go to eat is three days, fifteen hours, and twenty-seven minutes. Wes really doesn't remember those three days too well, but he does remember hunger pains and living off of the vending machine on the second floor), but neither he nor Travis ever says "You know what? It's too hard to deal with this day after day. Screw it, I'm eating by myself and I'll see you tomorrow."

Wes finds comfort in the fact that they always go out to eat together. It's just a nice reassurance to know that, no matter what hell they put each other through during the day, they still reconnect at the end of the day and enjoy the fact that the other is alive.

Two.

He loves that Travis chose him over Phil. See, for as slender and athletic as he is now, Wes was the chubby kid in middle school that was always picked last for whatever game they were playing in gym class. And, if they kids weren't picking him last in gym class, they were picking him last in his other classes because as smart as Wes is, he realizes that he does have an attitude problem and he can, occasionally, be difficult to work with. And while working with the smart kid is always awesome for the grade, putting up with the drama that comes with it is something that no middle school student wants to deal with (because their own drama is so much more important). So Wes had a ton of experience being picked last, being the person that no one wanted to work with (seriously, the amount of partner projects that Wes did by himself in middle and high school is just too depressing to think about). So when Travis chose to work with Wes during that case, Wes's inner thirteen year old jumped for joy and told all his middle school schoolmates to 'suck it.' He was finally getting picked first for something (and he was getting picked over somebody else – somebody Travis had history with). Somebody finally wanted him on his team, issues and all.

Wes knows he can be overbearing and OCD and he knows that Travis knows this. What is important about this fact is that Travis knows all this and still chose to work with Wes during that case so many years ago and still chooses to work with him now.

Three.

Wes loves that Travis goes along with whatever insane activity he's doing in his down time. Wes never feared asking Travis for help in getting the raccoon out of Alex's shed. He knew as soon as he asked, Travis would be on board. Because, for as much as they annoy each other, they are partners. When they're working on something, when they are focused on the same goal, the two of them work. And, as soon as Wes asked, Travis agreed to help, with only a minimal amount of teasing. It's silly little moments like that – when he and Travis worked in perfect sync and communicated with only the bare minimal of words to trap the raccoon – that remind Wes of why this partnership is worth saving, is worth working on together.

Because he and Travis can be amazing together. And if Travis is willing to do stupid things with Wes in his time off (during the time that Travis isn't being paid to be with Wes), it means that he wants their partnership to work just as much as Wes does.

Four.

Travis's large and crazy family is another thing that Wes loves about him. Wes is so glad that Travis has such a large and caring family. Wes isn't stupid – he's sure that somewhere in Travis's (rather impressive) collection of foster families, there were a few that were less than great; but, for the most part, Travis seems to have escaped the system with only a few war wounds. Wes believes that this truly speaks to the inherent goodness that lives in Travis – so good that good people just automatically surround him, realizing they found a kindred soul. It also speaks to Travis' ability to connect (and stay connected) to other people – an ability Wes has never had and never will have. And he was telling his partner the truth that night – he is jealous of Travis's foster brothers and foster families. He's jealous of how close they all are; he's jealous because of how much they care about one another. Wes and his family have never been that close.

Also, if Wes is being completely honest, he loves the random benefits that the foster families bestow upon him for being Travis's partner. Because those tamales? Were freaking fantastic.

Five.

Wes loves (well, adores and is thankful for might be better word choices) that Travis has never pressured him into talking about why Wes pulled a gun on him. Wes knows and understands that, technically, Travis has every right to demand an explanation (or a new partner). But the fact that he doesn't – that he seems to believe that Wes will explain when Wes is ready – speaks to Wes and tells him that Travis still trusts him as much as he trusts Travis.

And, one day (maybe tomorrow, but probably not) he will tell Travis why he pulled a gun on him that day. He'll explain to Travis what was going through his head, but when he does, it will not be in front of Dr. Ryan and the support group. Some things need to stay between partners.

And One.

He hates that Travis doesn't love him back; he hates that Travis doesn't seem to need him as much as he needs Travis. He hates watching the parade of women that Travis has slept with (he refuses to call what Travis has with those women a "relationship"), that parade that always makes Wes wonder what's wrong with him. Granted, Wes is horrible at romance and reading signs (see the whole divorce from Alex for why Wes just fails at love), but it doesn't stop his heart from breaking just a little each and every time that he sees Travis pull another line (a line that would never work for anyone but Travis) and get the woman's number. So, after their dinner dates, when Travis goes off to meet his newest conquest, Wes goes back to his (lonely, dark, cold) hotel room and allows himself five minutes to brood like a sixteen year old girl who got stood up at prom and he allows himself to wish that Travis could maybe (just maybe) love him like he loves Travis.

Wes truly hates that Travis has this much power over him and he hates that Travis has no idea that he has so much power over Wes and his emotions (the thought has occurred to Wes that if Travis would just screw him, maybe he wouldn't be so bitchy). Moreover, Wes hates that somewhere around the four minute and fifty second mark in his sixteen year old girl tantrum (seriously, it's what he calls it in his head), he'll calm himself down and remind himself why he loves Travis (all the reasons he has for loving his partner) and, at exactly the five minute mark, he'll take a deep breath and begin to prepare for tomorrow.