A/N: it's a while that this songfic is in my mind so I finally decided to write it down! I'm not sure if this will be a one-shot or a real story with more chapters… tell me what you think and if you want I will write more! Hope you enjoy!
Better Than Me
- Goodbye, Bella… - I said, keeping my voice peaceful.
- Wait! – Her voice choked with emotions while she was trying to reach for me. I reacted automatically, reaching for her too.
I shouldn't.
I leaned down and pressed my lips against her forehead. I didn't want to let go.
But I had to.
-…Take care of yourself. - And with this I wrenched myself away without looking back.
I ran to my car, as fast as possible even if I knew that she would never be able to reach me. I entered the car and started the engine. Before I left, I had a few more things to do.
But it was hard to concentrate. I couldn't describe how I felt inside: it was a chaos of emotions, thoughts, feelings… there were so many things that I liked to say to her but I didn't know how!
So, as for not hearing the agony that would probably torment me for the rest of my life, I turned on the radio… as if music could stop it? As soon as I did an instrumental intro started. Oh, no! Not that song! Even the radio is kidding me now!
"I think you can do much better than me…
That's sure! That's why I'm leaving… I won't endanger your life anymore.
…After
all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt
kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your
nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you
But I
remember
What it feels like beside you
I
really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence
tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better
than me
At that point I was already at Bella's place. I must take all memories of me away from her. Like I told her that was the last time she saw me.
It will be as if I'd never existed!
I've promised this… it's the least that I can do, even if I know that it will be so hard to forget everything. To forget her.
While
looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I
took
That you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't
want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing
room
In
few seconds I gathered all the presents I gave her and all the
photos. But while I was bringing all the objects in my car I stopped.
Why take them away? The most important thing is that she isn't able
to see them! In the end I
decided to hide them from her so I removed a board of her wood floor. In that way it will be as if a part of me will always be with her watching over her instead of me.
I
told myself I won't miss you
But I remember
What it feels like
beside you
I
really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence
tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better
than me
I
was almost forgetting… I don't think she will be back home soon…
I wrote Charlie a message so he will find out where she is. I know
her well enough to tell that in this moment she is still there in the
forest. I hope she won't do anything stupid… anything like Bella…
The
bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's
over
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm
older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the
end
Bella
I love you more than my own existence and I don't believe that
anybody has ever felt the way I do about you so I have to keep this
pledge. You saved me with your love and now it's my turn to do
something right for you. That's the only way I know to save you
from anything that could hurt you. Victoria, the others vampires but
especially me! I'm so dangerous even if I know that you will never
admit it… so I hope you won't hold a grudge against me, please
forgive me!
I
really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence
tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better
than me
Maybe you're waiting for someone… someone better than me.
