Title: I Wanna Be In

Author: Icy storm

Couple: Colin/Ron

Summery: Song-fic for Colin's feelings for Ron

Song: The In Crowd ~ Mitchell Musso

Warnings: Slash, Rape, Child Abuse, Character Death, Some Spoilers for all Books/Movies

A/N: This is my first Song-fic ever, so reviews appreciated, flames used to roast marshmallows...mm.....sorry, anyway, onto the story...

Colin-Year 1

Ron-Year 2

Spin away the combination for the last time
Say goodbye to this year

I wish I could avoid the empty summer days that await me.
They'll fake a smile goodbye

celebrating their new freedom

I snap a picture of him as he turns, flashing a smile. He's looking through me, to Hagrid or some other non-important person. God how his smile makes my skin crawl. I melt every time I see it. I go over and thank Harry for what he did that year or else I'd be toast. He just shrugs and says it was Prof. Sprouts potions that helped all the petrified students, trying to be modest. I didn't care, I just did it as an excuse to be close to Ron. I get on the train, purposely brushing close to Ron, but brushing close to Harry and Hermione as well to make it seem like I was trying to squeeze through. I sit down and hope that he sits in my car, just once. Seeing him pass with Harry and Hermione, I just look down, silently crying, knowing that's the last time I'll see him until school starts back. I can't wait for the summer to be over really, just so I can see him again...

I sit alone on the couch
Wondering why

After pasting the picture in my scrapbook, I sit down on the couch and start to imagine life with him. How I'd treat him-like a king who was too good for me-and how he'd treat me-like a prince who was too good for him. Ginny's my maid, waiting on me hand and foot, and I'm loving every minute of it. I'm dozing off almost as I start to think of Hermione and Harry being Ron's servants as well as the rest of his family and their bowing to us. I smile, cherishing the memory, knowing what time my dad got him, knowing that he'd be drunk, and knowing that I was almost asleep, so I hadn't hid my scrapbook when he came into my room, belt in hand...

I wonder what its like to have it all
To never be afraid that I would fall
But I don't think Ive ever known a time
That I was part of the in crowd

Colin- Year 2

Ron - Year 3

I just stare at Ron and his crew. It was really Harry's crew, but Ron was better then him in every way. He was funnier, and stronger no doubt. There was also the plus side of having no one trying to kill him before his next birthday. I wish I could be with him, to be with them. I'd have some protection, rather then having Crabbe and Goyle haul me off to an empty classroom, pants already unzipped.

Here we go another day another disgrace
Fall flat on my face
I wish I had a bunch of money
Catch a plane head out west

I got all the money I saved up and brought it with me. Dennis did the same and were gonna move into a hotel. I'll protect him no matter what. I may be kicked around and unnoticed by most students, but he has friends right now, and no one thinks he's a pest....

Still run and play around
All full of the fans and freedom
I sit alone on the couch
Wondering why

I take pictures of Harry, a lot of pictures, but they think it's to be expected, what they don't know is I've bewitched the lens. Whenever I take a picture of someone, it'll come out in the pose they had, but it'll be of Ron. Every fan of Harry's begs me to take pictures of them with him and I do, but it just comes out as a bunch of Ron's hovering around a central Ron, all grinning and smiling, sometimes kissing, though I have to remind myself it's a fan girl kissing Harry, I sometimes wanna bewitch the film to show me and Ron so that it'd be me kissing him...

I wonder what its like to have it all
To never be afraid that I would fall
But I don't think Ive ever known a time
That I was part of the in crowd

Colin- Year 3

Ron- Year 4

The year started out normal. Ginny sitting in my car with me blabbing about Harry. I ask her what Ron's been up to and she just says something about rotten people and how disgusting he was. I resist the urge to slap her, nodding and looking out the window. When were in the main hall, I sit down at the table and Ron sits right down next to me. I squeal and lower my head, knowing that people were looking at me. "Hey Colin." I look over to see him smiling at me, ME. I look back down and place a silencing charm around my head. It looks like I'm just holding my mouth open for bugs to fly in, but I'm screaming so loud that Mrs. Norris rushes from the hall in terror.

Doesn't anyone here live an original life
what did you surrender to be on the inside,
When you disappear they wont remember your name
And you'll fade away when someone takes your place.
Take your place

Harry is holding Cedric's body and crying. I take a picture of the body and people start to push me out of the way. Ginny grabs me and pulls me off to the side. "What the heck is your problem? This isn't something for you to take a picture of." I just ignore her and start to walk away. She turns me back around. "Look you little weirdo, I don't care how much you like Harry, you stay away from him from now on, got it?" She rushes off. I get back to my room and start to develop the picture, crying into the solution. I pull the picture out and something happens. I don't know what magic I put into it or if it was magic from me that was in my tears, but the picture shows up Ron, like always, But he's only the one that's dead. Instead of being held by another Ron, I'm holding him. The sight overwhelms me and I cry, harder then I've ever cried before. I cry for everyone and everything who's ever been hurt. For Harry and his parents, Neville and his, Ginny and her family, Hermione and hers, Cedric and his, even Draco and his family. I cry for Dennis, for Ron of course, but most of all, I cry for myself. For the times when I refused to cry when my dad hit me. For when I just told myself that Crabbe and Goyle had class at some point. For never telling Ron how I felt and for knowing I never would...

In the in crowd

Colin- Year 4

Ron- Year 5

Spin away the combination for the last time
Say goodbye to this year

I wave to Ron and the others as they get onto the train. I smile as they seem to be ok from the scrape they got in at the end of the year. I go into an empty compartment at the end of the train and who but My brother should walk in with Ginny. "Colin.....why didn't you tell us?" I stare at them, wondering what they were talking about. Dennis pulls a picture out of his sleeve and I go into Shock. I stare at the picture, feeling wave upon wave of sweat gliding down my face and I can almost see the color drain from my skin. "Where did you get that?" He doesn't say anything, he just hands over the picture. I look and see that it's the one from last year, of me holding Ron. "We know that's Cedric and Harry.....Why didn't you tell us?" Ginny asks. Just like last year, I start to cry, tears rushing from my eyes like waterfalls. Ginny sits on the side of me, rubbing my back as I lay my head down on Dennis's lap. He strokes my hair, both of them shushing me and saying it'll be ok. "What's wrong with me? Why did I fall so hard for him?" I asked them. "There's nothing wrong with you." Dennis reassures me. "Exactly, he's cute I guess, in a non incest way." We all giggle at that. "What do I do?" I ask them. "Do what you always do. Take a picture." I smile as I think up a plan...

I wish I could avoid the empty summer days that await me
they'll fake a small goodbye
Celebrating their new freedom
I sit alone on the couch
But I'm ready to fly

I'm running now, for my life, casting spells every which way. Wondering where Harry is, where Hermione is, where Ron is. The golden trio. The three best chances we have at ending this whole thing. I rush around and find a group of death eaters on Ginny. "EXPELIARMUS!!" I yell. Their wands all fly towards me and I do something I'd been practicing over the summer. I stop the wands with my hands and send them flying back, impaling the hearts of their owners. "Colin how?..." Ginny asks me as she comes up to me. "I wanted to impress him." I say. She laughs and then her face pales. I turn only to get hit with a killing curse. I push my hand out and see the person who hit me with it fly through a window. I thank god were on the 5th floor of the castle. I fall to the ground and stare at the ceiling. I wonder why I'm not dead. I see Ginny over me crying, telling me to get up. I hand her a picture and tell her to give it to Ron, make sure no one sees it, not even her, until he's seen it. She nods and tells me to hold on, standing to go find help. I grab her hand and make her wait with me. There weren't any death eaters around and it didn't seem like there would be, so we were safe here and I didn't want her to get hurt...

I wonder what its like to have it all
To never be afraid that I would fall
But I don't think Ive ever known the time
I wonder what its like to have it all
To never be afraid that I would fall

"I bewitched this one, this time on purpose." I tell her. She hugs me and tells me that it's gonna be alright. She says she's got to find help and I'm too weak to stop her this time as she rushes off. I stare at the ceiling and start to dream my special dream. The first one I had of him. Him my king, me his Prince. There are differences though. Ginny is now with us, and Harry and Hermione, and everyone of his family, Dennis is there as well. Were all sitting around a large table, laughing, eating and playing. Like one big happy family. I look around the table and smile. Then I frown as one by one they start to disappear. Fred and George high five each other and disappear. Their three oldest brothers have their arms over each others shoulders, saying cheese, as they vanish. Then his parents, kissing when they go. Then Ginny and Dennis who are kissing as well. Harry and Hermione disappear together, waving to me and Ron. I turn to Ron who looks at me. Unlike the others he's dissolving slowly. He smiles at me with that smile of his. "Colin, I never got a chance to tell you, but....I love you." I freeze up as he continues to dissolve. I lean in and kiss him with all my might.

But I dont think Ive ever known a time
That I was part of the in crowd.

Of the in crowd
In the in crowd

He pulls away and dissolves completely. I feel my world go black, knowing I'll never get the chance to give him a real kiss. My eyes droop close as I clutch my camera, a lone tear streaking down my cheek.

Later

"Ron?" I look up to see Ginny coming towards me. Everyone is crying over George and I'm off in a corner, making sure no one sees my tears. "Yeah Gin?" I say wiping my eyes. "Colin gave this to me, he.....he said he bewitched it, and that no one was to see that until you saw it first." I take the picture from her hand and read the letter on the back. "Ron, I know that you'll never feel the way I do, but I couldn't just not let you know this.....I love you." I stare in shock at the letter. Tears forming in my eyes. "I wanted to tell you since I first saw you and I knew that you'd never feel the way I felt, so I didn't bother." "It would't have been a bother." I say to thin air. "Ron what is it?" Ginny ask me. I turn away from her. "Just leave me alone for a sec Gin.....alright?" I ask as gently as I can. She nods and walks a little ways away, stopping Hermy and Harry from coming over. "The picture is of two random people, but I bewitched the picture. I knew that this could never happen between us, so I could only dream. Dream that I'd one day be a part of your guys group, just to be near you. Just to be part of the 'In-crowd for a change. The picture doesn't move....I'd never want it to..." I turn the picture over and my heart drops as I slide down against a wall. The picture had a pink trim and it was taken for valentines, obvious from the heart around the two people in it. The picture was of two random people he said, but it was bewitched to be me and Colin kissing. There were doves flying in the background.

I dont need anything that I cant find in me
All my life I have been on the line at the in
waiting for something more
something new to begin
waiting for something more
some way to fit in

Since it was developed magically, the people didn't move, it was as if we would be kissing forever. I looked up to the sky and screamed as loud as I could. "Ron what is it?" Hermione asks me. I hand the picture over and she gasps. "Oh Ronald." She says leaning down and hugging my head to her chest. Harry grabs the picture and immediately blushes. "Oh my." He says handing it over to Ginny. The rest of my family is behind her, they all look at the picture and then look at me, looks of sadness on all their faces. "Oh Ronald." My mom says crouching next to me and hugging me. Ron I'm so sorry." Harry says, leaning down as well. "The only reason this hurts so much is....he said that I'd never feel the same way, when really I felt more love for him then anyone could ever know." Ginny handed me the picture and I looked down at it. "I love you." I mumbled, a tear dropping from my eyes. It landed on the picture and for a split second the picture glows. Picture Colin turns and looks at me. "I love you too." It says. "Colin?" I ask. "What you say dear?" I look at my mom and then back at the picture. The picture is back to normal. I smile a little and then pocket the picture. I get up and start walking Harry and Hermione following instinctively. Ginny Following, George, then Percy, Charlie, and Bill, then finally Mom and Dad. We stop at a grave every so often until we come across Colin's grave.

I reach down and point my wand to his grave, we all do. Everyone makes a red rose around it, all of them forming together in a wreath. I make a big White rose in the middle of it, a picture of Colin growing out of the middle. "Your in." I say, this time to him, where ever he was.

In the in crowd
In the in crowd.

Well, that's all, r&r...please and thank you.....^_~...

~Icy