Summary: She wants them to come back. She just doesn't know who she should hold in her arms when they do.
A/N: I had to repost this fic because it didn't appear properly in the listings the first time I posted it. My apologies to skye-sama, gaahina-chan, sad little monkey, cutecrazyice and mangamania, whose precious reviews are now forever lost because of my reposting. This second posting is dedicated to the five of you.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.
Better Than This
He gasps for air one more time, summoning all his remaining strength in preparation for the blow that will end all of it. His body aches, his head throbs in pain and his eyes feel like they could come out of their sockets anytime. He forces himself to focus. All but one of the members of his team now lay motionless in the ground, either injured or unconscious or dead. They have made the sacrifice so he could get here. He is the leader. He should finish this. He tries to comfort himself by thinking that after this, after all this, he's going to return. To her.
He pants heavily, pushing himself to concentrate and keep his fingers the way they are now, in a complicated hand seal. Just a little more, he tells himself, as he watches the leader raise his arms gracefully, aiming at the last opponent's chest. He is the strategist. He is the one who came up with this plan, and he fully understands that everything depends on him and his jutsu. If he makes as much as one single mistake, the opponent gets free, they all die. He does not want to die. Because he wants to return. To her.
She waits anxiously in her office, once in a while leaving her seat to check with the guards if the last team sent on a mission to Kiri has returned. For the hundredth time this morning, the guard has told her that he will immediately inform her of their arrival if they come back, so she shouldn't come out every ten minutes to ask the same question. She flinches at his choice of words. If they come back. She looks up and prays to the heavens that they be safe.
A moment later, she sees a fluffy white cloud. She remembers him. He likes to stare at the clouds. They used to lay on the grass beside each other during late afternoons, watching the clouds go by.
A moment later, she sees a graceful flying bird. She remembers him. He likes to watch the birds fly. They used to lay on the rooftop beside each other during late afternoons, watching the birds fly by.
Silent tears roll from her eyes. She wants them to come back. She just doesn't know who she should hold in her arms when they do.
That's when the real battle begins.
Her door opens and the guard smiles as he says "They're here, Yamanaka-san."
She drops the important documents she holds in her hand and lets them fade into oblivion. She pauses long enough to wipe her tears and thank him before running as fast as she can, out of that building, to them.
She reaches the gates. She sees them, and her newly-dried eyes get wet again, this time with tears of relief. She runs to them, but stops at quite a far distance away when she sees that three people are in stretchers – the barking tracker who once saved her life in a mission has broken his leg and arm, the foreign puppeteer who has taken her to a ball in his country is unconscious and the bug wielder who often brings her rare flower seeds from different places he goes to has a nastily bleeding arm.
Only two people are standing. Him. And Him.
Her heart aches. She knows who she should go to. But she also knows who her heart really calls for. Unfortunately, they are not the same person.
She tries hard to kill the pain in her chest as she makes what she knows is the right decision.
"Shikamaru!"
"Shikamaru!"
His whole world lights up when he hears an all too familiar voice call his name.
"Shika! Oh, Shika!"
He turns and sees her running to him, tears in her eyes. He feels as if time has stopped. Halfway to him, the purple ribbon, the one he gave her, breaks and sets free the golden strands that he often dreams of when he is away. He has never seen anything more beautiful.
"Shikamaru! I was so worried! " she cries as she reaches him at last, burying her head in his chest.
He wraps his arms around her, while that inexplicable yet familiar feeling of warmth floods his senses.
"I thought – " she never finishes what she wants to say, because he holds her tighter. His strong but gentle arms tell her that there is no need for words.
He kisses her hair as he hushes her. "Sh. Don't cry, Ino. I'm back."
Every part of his body hurts from his head down to his toes, but his heart is beating wonderfully wild. He does not want to die before she does. He wants to live. With her. For her. This is what he is alive for. This is what he came back for.
He looks up to the heavens and silently gives thanks that he had not died on that mission. Nothing, absolutely nothing, could be better than this.
His heart is crushed into a hundred pieces when he hears that all too familiar voice. It calls the other man's name. Not his.
"Shikamaru!"
His heart is crushed into a thousand pieces when he sees her run, tears in her eyes. Halfway, the purple ribbon holding her hair breaks and sets free the golden strands that he often dreams of when he is away. He has never seen anything more beautiful. But he is running to the other man. Not to him.
"Shika! Oh, Shika!"
His heart is crushed into a million pieces when he sees her bury her head in the other man's chest, while a pair of arms wrap hungrily around her. Her head. Not in his chest. His arms. Not around her.
"Shikamaru! I was so worried! I thought – " she cries. The other man's embrace tightens and she surrenders.
He watches as the other man puts his lips on her hair. "Sh. Don't cry, Ino. I'm back."
He looks away, trying to retain his emotionless features. He fails because he feels a tear glisten in his right eye, one with the insufferably painful beating in his chest. This is what he is alive for. This is what he came back for.
He looks up to the heavens and silently wishes that he had just died on that mission. Anything, absolutely anything, would be better than this.
"Shikamaru!"
She feels her heart slowly come alive as she hears her own voice call that one name. Like a small, pale bud opening to bloom into a full, deep red rose. He's safe. He's back. He's hers. She loves him, and she's very happy that he's back. She's so happy that she does not even notice that the purple ribbon she ties her hair with, the one he gave her, breaks and sets free the golden strands that often get wet when she cries alone in her bed at night.
"Shika! Oh, Shika!"
At the same time, she feels her heart slowly die. Like a full, deep red rose being cut from its stem and torn mercilessly into a million pieces. It's not that she does not want to call him. It's not that she does not love him. It's just that deep inside, she knows there is another man she also loves, and there is another name she also wants to call. She runs to the man she knows she should run to and buries her head on his chest, at the same time trying to bury his love for the other man as deep as she could.
"Shikamaru! I was so worried!" She cries and feels his strong but gentle arms wrap around her. She knows that this is where she belongs. The other man… one of her best friends is in love with him. She does not want to take him away from her. So she remains in the arms that hold her right now. She tries to tell herself that this is what's best for everyone. She fools her mind, but not her heart.
"I thought –" He cuts her off by embracing her tighter and gets the silent message across. There is no need for words.
His love for her fills it all. "Sh. Don't cry, Ino. I'm back."
She buries her head deeper in his chest, trying to hide from the pair of sad, white eyes that she knows are looking at her. This is what she lives for. But this is not what she wants to come back for.
He is here. She is with him. For him, that is enough. She looks up to the heavens and silently prays that it would also be enough for her. Nothing, absolutely nothing is better than this. But in a corner of her heart, a voice tells her otherwise. Anything, absolutely anything is better than this.