My brother and I were just randomly talking about this one day, so I decided to turn it into small fanfic. This is just for dealing with my writer's block and humor, nothing else! Sorry of the characters are a little too OOC... Enjoy!
Tony walked into the kitchen one beautiful morning, yawning. Captain America was leaning on one of the counters watching him, with a smoothie in his hand.
"I really think we should get a new beanbag or something, it's getting old," Tony said, looking over at the shredded beanbag on the ground. There was an attack on the tower recently, and of course, the beanbag had be one of the victims.
"We never really used it Tony, wouldn't it just be a waste of money?" Steve asked, sipping at the smoothie.
"I've got plenty, I'll just get a new one. Someone should clean up that mess though," Tony suggested, pointing at the pile of what used to be a beanbag.
Just then, Clint and Nat walked in.
Nat looked at the ruined remains of the beanbag and narrrowed her eyes. "At least we got rid of that thing."
"No, I'm buying a new one," Tony announced, grinning.
"Nope, you're not, there's no 'I' in team!" Clint smiled.
"Then you're officially not a part of the team anymore!" Tony said. "But Hawkeye can stay."
"What do you mean I'm not on the team anymore?" Clint asked, eyes widening.
"I said that Hawkeye could stay," Tony yawned. "There's an "i" in Clint."
"How do you expect me to stay on the team when I'm not allowed to be on it?!" Clint exclaimed.
"Well, if you wanna be in the team, learn how to never be Clint Barton."
"Not possible."
"Bye bye!"
Clint stormed out of the building.
Steve cocked his head. "By your logic, that means Captain America can't be on the team anymore, nor can Iron Man."
Tony thought for a moment. "Very true, but I'm epic as Tony Stark as well."
Steve looked even more confused. "Does that mean Nat can't be on the team as anyone anymore?"
"Yep."
Nat glared at Tony, who ignored her. "Ikve always wondered when I would be able o leave the team."
"Well, it's your lucky day then," Tony smirked.
Nat promptly slinked out of the tower.
"Wanda, you're off the team," Tony announced, pointing to the young woman sitting on the couch.
Confusion flashed across her face as she left the tower.
"Thor, you're also out buddy," Clint said, pushing the god of thunder out the door.
"Sam, you're out, but Falcon can stay," Tony smiled.
"What? How does that even work?!" Sam protested, inching his way towards his wing jet pack, which was sitting innocently by the table.
"You just never take your wings off and you can stay, it's really that simple," Tony replied casually, like they weren't kicking people off the team for no reason.
"Wouldn't that mean Vision would also have to leave?" Sam asked, walking out of the building.
"Bye bye Vision!" Tony said as he pushed the surprised android out of the tower.
The people remaining were either confused or very proud of themselves. Actually, only one person was proud and his name shall not be stated... *cough cough* Tony *cough cough*.
Steve looked around at what was left of the team. The only people left were Tony, Bruce, and him, but Bruce was busy tinkering in the lab.
Steve looked at Tony for a while. "You just kicked our only spies out of the team. How are we going to do stealth missions now?"
"You're pretty good at the whole stealth thing," Tony grinned, walking towards the elevator. "You're our new spy."
"Oh no..." Steve muttered, following the billionaire into the elevator.