Name: The Drinking Game
Rating: K+
Summary: Let's play a game, they said. It's perfectly harmless, they said. It'll be fun. Perfectly harmless my ass, Ichigo thinks.
"C'mon, Ichigo, don't be a pansy. We're gonna play a drinkin' game now tha' Yachiru's sleepin'," Kenpachi had told him. "Consider it a welcomin' party, seein' as you're the fifth captain, n' all."
Ichigo had protested in the beginning, but had finally consented (oh, c'mon, playing a drinking game had to be better than sparring Zaraki Kenpachi – again.)
"It's perfectly harmless," Matsumoto had added, though in retrospect, Ichigo shouldn't have listened to her. Hindsight is 20/20.
And that was how the motley band of Shinigami had come together – Kenpachi, Renji, Yumichika, Ikkaku, Iba, Shunsui, Jyuushirou, Nanao, Yoruichi, Soi Fon, Matsumoto (who had, of course, dragged Hitsugaya-taichou along, who in turn had insisted on bringing Hinamori) – Hell, even Kuchiki Byakuya was present.
"I have never wanted to or tried to kill my lieutenant," Shunsui says brightly, sounding perfectly sober even though he's probably consumed more alcohol than everyone else combined.
"That's because you keep trying to molest me," Nanao mumbles.
Jyuushirou laughs as Toushirou, Kenpachi, Soi Fon and Byakuya all drink a shot.
Matsumoto pouts, squeezing Toushirou against her in a bone-crushing, bosom-filled hug before letting him go and wailing, "You've wanted to kill me before?!"
"All the time," Toushirou mutters.
Laughing, Matsumoto takes no real offense, and instead opens her mouth to issue the next challenge, grinning broadly and winking at Renji.
"I have nev-"
"Oh hell, no, don't you fuckin' dare, Rangiku!" the red-head cuts in, scowling at her as if he knows what she is going to say.
It seems, to Ichigo, that this is one "I have never" that Rangiku-san repeats frequently. Apparently, even meek little Hinamori-fukutaichou is in on the joke, sneaking up from behind Renji and covering his mouth with her hands, giving Rangiku the time to shout -
"IhaveneverkissedKuchikiByakuya!"
Uproarious laughter fills the room as Abarai Renji growls, "Screw you," at Rangiku and before reluctantly downing a shot.
By his side, Kira Izuru's head droops sadly, before glancing up at Renji through his eyelashes, wielding those adorable eyes of his.
"You kissed Kuchiki-taichou?" he asks, voice trembling.
(In all the laughter and confusion, nobody sees Ichigo pick up his glass. He hopes he can get away with finishing the drink while Izuru makes his scene, praying that nobody will catch him. But Fate, if you have not noticed before, is kind of a bitch.)
Renji scowls at the group still laughing at him, before turning panicky on his blonde boyfriend.
"Accident!" he sputters, quick to reassure Izuru that he did not cheat on him. "I was fuckin' drunk, an' it was before me an you got together! I woul' never cheat on you, Izuru!"
(Rangiku 'awws' loudly, making moon eyes at the two and squealing, "They're so cute!")
Izuru turns to Kuchiki-taichou, looking for confirmation which he receives in the form of a curt nod and an "Abarai-fukutaichou was quite drunk."
As it turns out, Kuchiki Byakuya is kind of a bitch, too.
"He wasn't," the sixth division captain adds, staring challengingly at Ichigo, who promptly chokes on his sake.
A shocked silence blanketed the room as all eyes turned to Ichigo, who's currently blushing very prettily, and glaring at his (formerly) secret lover.
"Fuck you, Byakuya."
"Is that an offer?"
x
It's perfectly harmless, my ass, Kurosaki Ichigo, Fifth Division Captain thinks darkly, Shunpo-ing to the Kuchiki mansion as fast as he can go.
Unfortunately, the screaming horde of fangirls chasing him have mastered Shunpo, too.
-end.
D: unbetaed. Catch mistakes, send 'em my way? Much love
-teslyn