Title: Moving In
Author: daytimedrama
Rating: K
Pairing: Danny/Lindsay
Content Warning: Romance
Summary: In my 'Sierra' series, after the 1st,2nd,3rd Base fics and before Another Chance
A/N: I'm skipping ahead a little, to Danny and Lindsay in a relationship. This comes after the Bases, but before Another Chance. Yes I will go back to write a "Home" base/plate fic.
"Hi Daddy," Sierra, said as she came shuffling into the kitchen, lured by the smell of fresh pancakes.
"Good morning sweetie," She looked so adorably cute, and my heart always melted seeing her.
"You're here very early. Did you and Mommy have a sleepover?"
"Uh umm, can you go ask your Mommy if she wants blueberries in her pancakes?" I had no clue how to answer that question. Yes, in fact we did have a sleepover, well not a whole lot of sleeping per say.
"Sure Daddy! I want chocolate chips in mine" she said as she skipped off to find her mother.
"Mommy, Daddy is here. He's in the kitchen. He is making pancakes. I'm going to have chocolate chips in mine." Lindsay reached down to scoop Sierra up into her arms, snuggling her close to her chest.
"Oh you are, are you?" when they made their way back into the kitchen she added, "Chocolate for breakfast Danny?"
"Eh, I thought you said it was okay?" I said with a cheeky grin. She knew I could never deny Sierra anything, even chocolate for breakfast.
"Okay, but we are not making chocolate part of our everyday breakfast, okay?"
"Okay, Mommy!"
We ate our pancakes. Sierra didn't ask again about my early arrival. I allowed my hand to softly running up and down Lindsay's thigh. Lindsay looked over at me and nodded in affirmation that it was time to tell her.
"Sierra we have something important to ask you. How would you feel if Daddy moved in with us?"
"That would be wonderful!" Then a frown furrowed her brow, "Will Jasper have to move out of your office?" She looked back and forth from Lindsay to me with her big blue eyes.
"No of course not." Lindsay was always better at following along with Sierra's logic.
"So Daddy will live in the office with Jasper?"
"No honey, Daddy will share my room, and Jasper can still have his own room," Lindsay was trying to suppress a huge smile.
Sierra was giggling now. "Yay!" I didn't know if I should feel insulted; she didn't want Jasper to have to share a room or maybe she was actually happy about me moving in. "Now you can have sleepovers every night!"
"That's the idea," Lindsay said softly grinning at me.
We always made an effort to take full advantage of our days off together. After we had breakfast, we went to the community swimming pool and spent a wonderful day laughing, swimming, and I spent a good part of the afternoon ogling Lindsay in her tiny bikini. It was a great day. Later I brought over some of my clothes to the apartment, I was anxious to move in officially. This would be the first night I spent not as the elicit lover either sneaking out late at night or early in the morning. I was thrilled not to have to pretend that I had just come over to share breakfast. We were finally living under one roof. We were really a family. I was so amazed that we had gotten to the point. Part of me was always scared that Lindsay wasn't ready for this. However she was absolutely wonderful. Forgiving, loving and supportive even through my unwillingness to forgive myself.
Sierra was put to bed. After we took full advantage of what was now our bed, I held Lindsay in my arms, continually thrilled by how perfect this felt. I couldn't take the grin off my face and I snuggled my face into her neck holding her tighter to my body never wanting to let go.
I was abruptly awoken by a piercing scream; I jumped up, looking around, briefly disoriented, I pulled on some pants ready to find the source of alarm. Then I heard another wail this time and recognized Sierra's terrified voice. I looked over to Lindsay who was climbing out the bed, I said, "Its okay Montana, I'll see what's wrong."
I made my way to Sierra's room, and when she spotted me she just started crying harder. I felt so helpless and heartbroken; I never wanted to see her upset. She wailed, "I want Mommy!" I felt Lindsay brush by me and went to gather Sierra into her arms, rocking and cooing soothing words. Sierra was sobbing uncontrollably, but managed to get out "I just want you, Mommy. I only want you." Lindsay looked over at me apologetically, I shook my head slightly to tell her I understood and as I turned to walk into the living room I heard Sierra say, "Can I sleep with you tonight Mommy?"
I sat on the living room couch for awhile. No matter how comfortable I was, how good our relationship was, how much Lindsay and Sierra loved me, and how much I loved them, I could never make up for all those years I wasn't there. I had been included in so much, but at the same time I was excluded from other things. Sierra would always need Lindsay, the person who consoled her for the first six years of her life, to help her get through a bad night. While Lindsay would tell me about the birthdays I missed without even the slightest hint of bitterness she could never be able to include me in all the smallest events, her first word, her first steps. Her favorite pair of shoes when she was four. So many events were recorded through photographs, but Lindsay couldn't replicate the sound singing in Sierra's first Christmas recital. I continued to vow to always be there for every moment big or small for as long as Lindsay and Sierra allowed me to. I still viewed my presence with them as a privilege, a privilege I didn't deserve but would gladly accept.
I quietly crept over to Lindsay's, now our, room. Lindsay was cradling a sleeping Sierra. She indicated with her head for me to join her. She could read me so well. She knew how conflicted I felt. How awful and helpless it was to be a parent watching their child cry, and then not to be able to do anything about it.
"She's okay now," she whispered. "Sometimes she gets bad dreams. They started after one case after I had to work a lot of night shifts. She once told me she was afraid of being left alone if anything happened to me. That we only had each other and she was afraid when I wasn't there at night, that I wouldn't come back. She dreamt about monsters, about ghosts, intruders. It broke my heart to hear about how scared the dreams made her. They've gotten better though, she hasn't had one in a long time." She knew I still doubted myself and my ability as a parent.
"She loves you, you know?" I nodded trying to keep my guilty tears at bay. "She adores you, she told me so. She just was scared tonight, it's a big change. I guess I should have told you that sometimes we'll have a third bedmate." That got me to smile.
Lindsay settled into her pillow, Sierra between us. She reached for my hand, and lovingly threaded our fingers together. "I love you Lindsay." I said quietly, straining to see her eyes in the hazy moonlight. "I love you too Danny."