Disclaimer: I do not own Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, or any of its characters. They all belong to Dick Wolf and NBC.

Olivia's POV

There was no spot for me. Though Cragen says not at the moment, I know just by seeing how Elliot looked at Dani, that unless she decided to leave, there wouldn't be a spot for me. I looked back before going out the back. Elliot smiling and laughing with Dani; he was happier with her.

"Don't tell him I was here." I said before leaving.

I needed a drink.

I went to a bar for a while. When I saw Elliot come in, along with Dani and Casey, I moved as far back as I could. I didn't want them to see me. If they did, Dani, probably more likely than Elliot, would try and invite me over. I didn't want to ruin their night.

After they left, I left behind them.

I stopped and stared as Elliot started to kiss Dani. They stopped and started again three times before they got into the car and rushed off.

I sighed, getting into my car.

At least he's happy.

Then a week later, Cragen called me and told me there was a spot for me if I wanted it. To be Elliot's partner again. What the hell happened to Dani Beck? Just a week ago, I saw them kissing and now Cragen was saying she was gone.

I went back the next day and Elliot would barely look at me. I guess it was stupid to think that maybe things could be like they were before I went undercover. Though, he wouldn't say it to my face, I knew Elliot didn't want me anymore. He was settling for me. He really wanted Dani and I knew that not only because of what I saw but because he kept calling the victim Danielle, "Dani".

He wanted her back.

He didn't want me back.

I tried not to let it show and pushed my feelings away by making jokes. But it didn't help; if anything it just made everything harder, with being back.

"You here to give me a hand?" Elliot asked, not looking very happy to see me.

"Cragen called. He said after what you did last night, I've been assigned to be your handler." I said, mostly as a joke. Elliot and I used to do that a lot.

We managed to work together, but I could tell it wasn't the same as before. Elliot and I weren't in sync like we used to be. All he could think about was Dani Beck; I guess I was just an inconvenience.

"So why didn't Dani cut it?"

"She couldn't deal with the victims." Elliot tells me.

"But you liked working with her?" I asked.

"She didn't have to handle me."

I meant it to funny. I was toying with me. We used to do that all time. But I guess no one compared to Dani Beck. I wonder why I'm even still here.

But we managed to get a confession at least. I thought it was going well until Casey came in to the squad room to scold us, more so me, for how I did my job.

"What the hell were you thinking?! You took a suspect to the hospital to visit?" Casey questioned.

"It worked didn't? We got a confession." Elliot replied.

"Which may be thrown out due to your coercive tactics"

"Come on, Casey. This isn't charm school." I said.

"We were leaning on a killer." Elliot added and I nodded in agreement.

"You did more than lean! Glenn Charles is in central booking beat to hell!" Casey said, angrily.

"Elliot broke it up." I defended.

"He took his time." Casey shook her. "This is sloppy, reckless work. What's the deal? You rusty? This is your first case back?" Casey scolds and I don't know what to say.

"Hey, Casey, you're out of line!" Elliot tries to defend, but Casey keeps coming at us for wrecking her case. I sighed. Elliot could scream that's she being a bitch, but she isn't wrong.

"Are you done?" Elliot asks.

"Depends. Are you two done flushing my case down the toilet?"

"Excuse me." I said before I left the squad room. I sat down on the bench and tried not to get upset. But I couldn't stop. It was my fault. I have been distracted on this case. I have been distracted since I had gotten back. All I could think about was stupid me. How Elliot would rather not have me or how my return wasn't what I expected it to be. Was I being selfish? I don't know. It's stupid. Maybe I really don't belong here anymore.

Elliot's POV

I watched as Olivia left the room, clearly upset. I turned back to Casey, slight shaking my head. What the hell is wrong with her? It's one thing to go off on me, it was my fault for the assault that happened to our suspect, but she went right after Olivia hard. She just got back from being undercover for months and Casey goes off on her. And it seemed to hit her hard.

"What the hell is the matter with you?" I said, angry.

"I am going to try and save this case." Casey said. "You and Benson need to do your jobs."

"The case will be fine."

"How about you guarantee that by pulling your head out of your ass."

"And how about you stop being such a bitch." I said and Casey stopped, but then walked out without saying another word. I sighed while pressing three fingers against my forehead, letting out a breath. Though Casey was being a bitch, I had been distracted. It's been hard since Dani and left I know Olivia probably doesn't want to deal with me; I wouldn't blame her. Maybe it'd be better for her if she got a different partner. Maybe she'd be happier.

"Captain, can I have a minute to talk to Olivia?" I ask him, I'm sure the tension between us since she got back was obvious.

"I'll send Fin and Munch out." He nods.

I go look around until I found Olivia. I slowly opened the door. She glanced over at me briefly before turning back away. She sniffles and I watch as her hands goes up to her eyes, as if to wipe tears away.

"You okay?" I ask, gently.

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Olivia replies a bit bluntly.

"Don't worry about Casey. She's just on edge." I said.

"Doesn't matter. She won't have to worry about me being a rusty detective anymore." Olivia says. What did she mean? What was she talking about?

"What does that mean?"

"I putting in for a transfer." Olivia tells me.

"No you're not." I chuckled. That statement sounded like a joke; I mean it had to be one. I've known Olivia Benson for eight years and I knew that the only thing she wanted and has wanted to do is sex crimes. This is what she has wanted to do for a long time. I remember she has said multiple times she couldn't picture herself doing anything else. So natural I assumed she was messing with me.

"I'm serious." She said and by the tone of her voice, I realized she wasn't kidding.

"You can't be serious." I said with a frown. "All this because of Casey? She's just being a bitch because she's pissed."

"She was right. I have been distracted. I haven't been focused on the case like I should be." Olivia shakes her head.

"Come on, Liv, you can't transfer out because you were distracted on one case. That isn't a reason to transfer." I said, though I knew she probably had other reasons for wanting her to transfer. But I don't want her to. Why do all my partner keep wanting to leave me? Maybe I should wear a sign that says 'abandonment'

"No reason for me to stay when I'm not wanted." Olivia says and tries to walk out of the room. I put my hands on her shoulders to stop her. I pull her back and look at her.

"Liv, what are you talking about?"

"Doesn't matter Elliot."

"It matters to me." I said seriously. I pondered on whether to say something and after a moment, I did. "You matter to me."

"You have a funny way of showing it." Olivia shook her head in disbelief.

"Liv—"

"Ever since I got back, you barley look at me or say a word. But I guess no one could compare to Dani, right?" Olivia says. So this was about Dani? Was she jealous or something?

"Since when did this become about Dani?"

"Elliot, it's fine. I get it. You liked her." Olivia said and though I wanted to deny it, I did have feelings for Dani. I did have feelings for her and when she left, it hit me hard.

"Yeah, I liked my partner."

"More than that, El." Olivia says. "I was here a week ago. I went to talk to Cragen and I ran into Dani. And then I saw how happy you were with her. And then I saw you guys kiss at the bar, so I knew there was no place for me. I didn't want to come in between you two."

I sighed. She saw that.

"And from the moment I came back—I saw the way you looked at me. Though you barely did, I could see you weren't happy to have me back. I knew you didn't want me. And it was stupid for me to think that anything could be the same like before." Olivia said, looking up. I could see the tears gleaming in her eyes.

"I never—"

"—said anything, I know. You didn't have to say it." Olivia interjects before letting me finish. "I know when I'm not wanted. I'm used to it."

Olivia started to walk towards the door. I didn't even know what I could say. I never wanted to make her feel like I didn't want her as my partner. I certainly didn't want to make her think that I didn't want her around. God, I'm such an idiot. Yes, I'll admit it, I did like Dani. I kissed her, but the thing was she would never come close to Olivia. My feelings for Dani don't even compare to the ones I have for Olivia; my feelings for Dani are in the past; my feelings for Olivia are not.

I shut the door as Olivia opened it a crack to leave. I then pulled her back and stared at her, looking her in the eye as a tear escaped her right eye.

"You didn't let me finish." I said. "I never meant to hurt you."

"I know—"

"No, listen." I said. "Yes, I'll admit it, I kissed her and I did have feelings for Dani. And when she left, it hit me hard. I felt abandoned again. I felt like everyone was leaving me. First Kathy, then you, and then Dani. But nothing hurt more than when I lost you."

"El—" Olivia whispered

"I know you didn't have a choice. But Olivia, I may have missed Dani, I mean she was my friend, but I missed you a hell of a lot more while you were gone." I tell her. I put my thumb against her cheek and wipe away a tears as it reaches.

"You just seemed so happier with her."

"It was easier with her."

"What?" Olivia asks.

"With you, I knew you never wanted to be anyone more than partners. While with Dani, the way she looked at me, I knew she would want to be with me. It was a stupid dick move. But with her, at least there was a chance of me being with her."

"What made you think there wasn't a chance with me?" Olivia then said.

"I thought you said—

"You were married. But I always had feelings. But I just figured that you wouldn't have any for me. Who would want me?" Olivia said, her voice clearly breaking as tears streamed down.

I kissed her. I move my right hand to back of her head, feeling strands of her hair go in between my fingers. I moved my other onto her hip before leaning into kiss her. I felt her eventually put her hands on me. I didn't want to stop, but I did. We looked at each other.

"I want you." I said.

A/N: I just watched the episode where Elliot and Dani kissed and days ago I watched the episode where Olivia comes back after Dani left. So I guess that's where this came from. I hope you enjoyed it. Please don't forget to review.