Disclaimer: Live-Action Pretty Girl Sailor Moon belongs to Takeuchi Naoko and others.
Hino Rei POV within the Live-Action PGSM universe before episode 37 or 38. Before Minako tells Rei she is going to die in three months time.
Shoujo Manga
I have a guilty pleasure.
I kind of have a badass image to protect, so I keep it to myself. Shoujo manga. The main character, she is always this klutzy, adorable, air-headed girl who manages to make everyone fall in love with her.
^.^
Earlier this year, I became pretty spooked when I met my real-life main character: Tsukino Usagi. She annoyed me at first, but then the Gods gave me senshi powers like her. I intended to fight the invading youma by myself, but I soon realized our planetary powers were most effective together. I almost died in one of the earlier battles, but she helped me out even after I rejected her friendship. Truly, Usagi had a beautiful heart.
I never had friends before Usagi. I made good grades and maintained the shrine. I considered myself to be busier than most other 14yr olds; they tend to waste their times singing karaoke and laughing. Then Usagi and magical powers thrust themselves into my life, and it really felt like I was beginning to live within a manga.
Usagi made me laugh and made me do karaoke, and she was my first friend. Mizuno Ami was there too, but I'm going to be painfully honest—she's boring as hell. I'm sure if I took the time to really get to know her, I'd find a minx in good-girl's clothing, but I already told you that I don't have any time to waste.
Kino Makoto became my friend, too. I liked her. She's cool. Like a bro. She was nothing like a manga main character girl though, and I don't know. I wasn't attracted to her. It didn't feel right. She's taller than me and could probably beat the shit out of me. Of course, I would never openly admit that. Maybe Makoto reminded me a little of men, and I was really not the type of gal to dig that.
What type was I? I didn't trust men, and I didn't want to end up like Mama. You could call me the gay type.
Usagi was so easy to tease, so lovable, so easy to be around. Everyone loved her. Ami creamed herself anytime Usagi gave her attention, and she found excuses to drape herself around Usagi. I heard Ami fought over Usagi with some other girl at their school. Talk about obsessed.
Makoto completely ignored that turtle guy at "The Crown" in order to help and spend time with Usagi. She would drop everything if she knew Usagi even felt badly. If Usagi weren't so idiotically into that Chiba pest, Makoto would probably discard turtle boy for her.
Usagi really was the most obvious choice, and I may have fallen for her, too. She became the manga main girl before our eyes. Who couldn't help falling in love with her? I was pumped that I could finally play the love interest of the manga main girl. I never identified myself with the main girl, obviously, so I wanted to be the next main character—the main girl's squeeze.
I was confident I suited this love interest role better than Ami or Makoto, because again, I was a badass. Usagi had to beg for my friendship, and I was the most mysterious. I was a Catholic schoolgirl. That was hot, hot, hot.
Then someone shattered my manga fantasy. Usagi was still, by far, the sweetest, but Usagi faded into my background. There was a new main girl in my life, but she was a real bitch.
Princess. Leader. Blonde. Venus. Goddess of Love & Beauty. Temptress of Mars. Aino Minako.
She was nothing like a manga main girl. She was serious, secretive, stubborn, and so damn sexy. Minako was the only one who didn't grovel at my feet for my friendship. In fact, she had me, Hino Rei, revealing every card in my hand.
I couldn't hide anything from her. My practiced stoicism fell apart near her. She insulted me; I cried. She challenged me; I flared in anger. She beckoned me; I lit up. But wait, she never beckoned me; I only ever ran after Minako.
As if I were excluded from a lovely manga, Minako preferred Usagi, too. When I tried to protect Minako, she told me stay beside Usagi. Minako ate cake and laughed with Usagi. I could never make Minako laugh, unless she was laughing at me. Usagi loudly told everyone of two times Minako personally sought her. Minako never looked for me. I chased after her like a fool.
Minako didn't see me as a badass. More like a kiss-ass. No, an ass bent over for her. Yeah, I'd admit it, I'd let her have any way with me. Down with my pride and pants.
^.^
Everyone loved Usagi, but me. I thought I understood love when I read manga and met Usagi, but reality was nothing like that. Love was a bitch, in the form of a cruel girl toying with my feelings.
I stalked her. For real. I stalked her. She's a famous pop singer with a lot of batshit fans, but I was the one who deserved a restraining order. I bought a laptop and learned how to use it and the internet to research any and everything about her. I memorized all her written lyrics to her songs to decipher meaning and insight into her mental processes. I didn't sing with the others when they did Minako karaoke, because I was afraid they'd figure out how cray-cray I'd become. I knew deep within me that her music was terrible, but I loved it because it was Minako.
I had an edge over any person in this world when it came to stalking Minako, because I could use my spiritual and magical powers. I looked into a fire, crouched to the ground, flipped my hair, you name it. I would find her. I was the best at sensing youma? Oh no, I was the shit at sensing Minako. Her sense trace was even heavenly. I drooled through my bad, Japanese teeth.
Sometimes I told myself that she only ignored and treated me so badly, because she liked me back. Was that pathetic? That she humiliated me by taking better care of that golden retriever and telling me I suck at recalling my past life's memories, because she wanted me to grow as a person?
Maybe she forced me into a Mars Reiko performance, not only because she wanted me to awaken my powers, but because she wanted to secretly watch me sing. Reiko was a cute name, kupi? Maybe she liked my husky voice and that I fought back with her, nothing like the fans who undoubtedly agreed with her on everything through their high-pitched cheers.
Rather than her open affection with Usagi, her open annoyance and distaste with me was…attraction?
Was I allowed to pray that she thought about me late at night on tour or in a hospital room? She pled with Artemis to run into my arms, but he forbade her every time. Her anemia was actually some incurable disease, and Artemis didn't want her to be close with anyone, or else they would be devastated when she passed.
Gods, this was why I had no hope. I really had lost it. My imagination strived to see reality through manga lens. This was so incredibly far-fetched and dark that I decided, Minako loved Usagi. Usagi was the manga main character, and I lived in the real world. I had my chance to be in a manga fantasy, and Minako pushed me out.
^.^
Everyone loves Usagi, but I love a supporting character. She isn't kind, redeeming, or down-to-earth. She smirks at me when I'm ashamed, and she glares at me unforgivingly when I become vulnerable with her. She is probably the most unpleasant person I have ever met in my life, and yet I feel like no past life memory could ever change my feelings for her. Perhaps I also loved her in my past life, and I'll always be fated to this unrequited love.
That's why I read shoujo manga, my guilty pleasure. Mama died, Papa left, and Minako doesn't even notice me. Shoujo manga never ends sadly for the main character and her lover. The guilt of being a nerdy otaku passes over me and lingers eternally on my loneliness.
-FIN-