Kim Possible: Mother and Son
(A/N: Title subject to change. If any other writer wants to use Nanny Nane as Monkey Fist's mother, feel free to.)
Doctor's Orders
They sat in the office, Monkey Fist crossing his arms and looking annoyed, slouching down. Nanny Nane sat up straight with a perfect posture. "I don't see why we have to be here," Monkey Fist complained to Jack Hench.
"Don't slouch Montgomery. Sit up straight," Nane ordered. He blinked at her then scowled, obeying.
"I will do what I please thank you very much mother," he growled.
"Every choice you make ends in you failing at something or other," Nane bit.
"I'll have you know, most of my endeavors have been most successful!" Monkey Fist shot.
"Name one my darling," Nane challenged.
"Oh I am not gracing that with an answer!" he barked.
"Because you have none," Nane shot.
Jack Hench watched the exchange in disbelief then frowned, declaring loudly, "Enough! It's apparent that you two have an extremely strained relationship."
"We do not! We simply don't get along," Monkey Fist stated.
"I try, Mr. Hench. I really do, but he is as stubborn as a mule," Nane remarked.
"Now mother, don't call yourself down," Monkey Fist snipped.
She gasped in horror and exclaimed in appalled anger, "Montgomery!" Shaking her head disappointedly, she added, "Oh Monty, what have you become?"
"What I was destined to be! Master of the art of Tai Shing Pek Kwar and soon to be Mystical Monkey Ruler!" he retorted.
"Yet Ronald Stoppable beats you on a regular basis," she belittled.
"That buffoon is more powerful than he knows!" Monkey Fist shot in defense.
"Apparently more than you know as well," she declared.
"Mother!" he yelled.
KP
Just then Hench broke in, ordering, "All right, I've heard enough! Now shut up before this escalates!"
They both turned sharply to him, shooting, "How dare you!?"
"I control this session, not you two, now listen up!" he shot back. They blinked then settled, grumbling in annoyance. "Now, what I'm hearing is that you, Lord Fiske, feel you were never able to bond with your mother. That she never loved you or valued your feelings."
"There's no 'feeling' about it. It's strictly fact," he huffily replied.
"Do not act like you could read my mind, Monty!" Nane yelled.
"Nanny Nane, what I believe you are trying to say is that you truly do love your son. You realize you may not have always been there and were particularly strict, but you don't admit to these mistakes," Jack diagnosed, determined to get back to his gathering, which these two had ruined within the first three minutes they were there together. There would have been a blood bath between them if he hadn't hauled the mother and son back here to talk out their issues.
"They were not mistakes!" Nane shot defensively.
Ignoring, Hench continued, "You feel the bond you once had with each other is gone for good and you'll never get it back. When you try, Nane, your son doesn't make it easy. When he tries to explain himself, you never listen."
"It's not my fault Montgomery has some deep rooted issues he cannot address," she declared.
"Deep rooted issues!? Why it's no wonder with a mother like you! You aren't exactly all there either!" he yelled.
Jack Hench put his hands between them and declared, "Now I could tell you just what to do and which of you is in the wrong in what areas, but I feel as if it would only serve to draw out a strong denial from you both. Neither of you are inclined to change yourselves, and no amount of help I can offer will change your minds. I doubt a psychiatrist could save you. You'll have to figure things out on your own. Therefore, I am going to prescribe something else. Something no psychiatrist would dare suggest."
Nanny Nane and Monkey Fist exchanged glances. Turning back, Monkey Fist said, "Go on."
"I suggest a 'bonding' experience for you both," he declared.
"No other psychiatrist? I dare say every last one of them would suggest such frivolous nonsense. I do not do camping trips and other such frolicsome things. A waste of time," Nane declared, missing the underlying hint in Hench's tone.
"She's not coming with me on my travels! Do you have any idea how much the old coot would slow me down?" Monkey Fist retorted.
"No psychiatrist would suggest bonding the way I will. Try robbing the Tower of London together," Jack declared, ignoring them. "Perhaps feed a little pursuit." They froze.
"The Tower of London?" Monkey Fist asked after a moment.
"Steal the Crown Jewels? Gracious," Nanny Nane pondered.
"A simple robbery? Intriguing," Monkey Fist mused.
They exchanged glances. After a moment, Nanny Nane finally gave in, saying, "Oh why not. If it's the doctor's orders."
"Most excellent. This should be fun. A waste of my time better spent relic hunting, but fun nonetheless. I'm surprised at you, Jack," Monkey Fist said, grinning wickedly.
"Great, now let's get back to the group," Hench declared, thankful the mess seemed to be defused, for now.
KP
"Do you have everything you need," Nanny Nane asked Monkey Fist before they left.
"The only things I need are these," Monkey Fist replied, revealing his hands and feet. "And these," he added, snapping his fingers and summoning four of his most trusted ninjas to him. And a fifth, George, who still needed a little more disciplining.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk, that simply will not do, Monty. Get packed," Nane ordered.
"Of for the love of… You're treating this like a vacation! We're going to rob the blasted Tower of London, mother, not to the wilds of the Savannah!" Monkey Fist argued.
"First Aid, in case of injury, grappling hooks, for guaranteed safe escape, food and water, for if we must hide away, blankets for if while hiding away we'll need to keep warm. Honestly, child," Nanny Nane said.
"Mother, you're being paranoid. I have subsisted for months, sometimes a year, in the jungles of South America and Japan surviving on nothing but my abilities!" Monkey Fist protested.
"By some miracle I still cannot fathom," Nane stated.
"Mother!" Monkey Fist yelled.
"At least take a sweater so you won't catch cold," she said, thrusting one at him.
"Mom!" he shouted, but she would hear none of it.
"Montgomery," she warned dangerously. Monkey Fist blinked then grumbled, reluctantly getting into the sweater and storming passed her sulkily. She shook her head hopelessly after him. "Honestly, you could die from such a child."
"Oh that would be such a relief," Monkey Fist said. That earned him a hard rap on the head.
"You aren't half the man your father was," she bit. He cringed and followed like a kicked puppy. Ouch, that actually hurt more than he thought it should have.
KP
The two looked at the tower of London, playing the part of tourists, though it wasn't an easy task to explain away the monkey's following them and perching on their master when they got tired. Right now George was comfortably on Monkey Fist's shoulder, Chippy was holding his master's hand ooking like a child, Bobo was holding the other hand, and the last two Monkeys were begging Nanny Nane for bananas, which she obliged to.
"Humph, crazy cat ladies indeed. These people do not have to deal with a crazy monkey man," Nane said.
"Is every word you speak to me going to be a put down?" Monkey Fist complained, still sore about her comparing him to his late father.
"Not at all, Monty. You look normal for once. It's much more attractive than your regular garb. The women certainly notice," Nanny Nane hinted.
"Oh monkey spirits, are you going to turn this into a matchmaking expedition?" Monkey Fist demanded. "At what point did you figure out that the Japanese brat wasn't my wife?"* Honestly, until recently he'd half hoped she'd still thought that. It would spare him this nonsense.
"As soon as, when I asked if she and that infant were your family, she answered 'in a way'," Nane replied. "Really Montgomery, you must find yourself a woman. I would like to have grandchildren before I die."
"So you could ruin them too?" Monkey Fist demanded. That earned him another sharp rap. He yelped in pain. "Mother!" he shot angrily.
"Not even a son or daughter to your name for the sake of your poor father," Nane said.
"It seemed to me you were much more interested in Senor Senior Senior's line carrying on rather than father's," Monkey Fist bit. He covered his head on seeing she was about to rap him again. The ninjas shrieked at the woman in protest and she paused, harrumphing. Monkey Fist sighed in relief, finally daring to remove his hands.
KP
They turned attention back to the tour guide. There was silence as they listened to his spiel. Finally Nane said, "Senor Senior's blood line is sealed. Yours, however, not so much."
"I have no interest in such petty romantic drabble," Monkey Fist argued, boredly sparing a glance at a woman who had flirtatiously blown him a kiss. Really now, was there no propriety left in the world? And there was a group of young women checking him over, and quite obviously at that. Really now, he wasn't that great of a catch. Oh who was he kidding? He was a noble. Of course he was. That was all that mattered.
"If not for yourself than for your father," Nane insisted.
"Mother, I do not want a lover," Monkey Fist stated in annoyance.
"Not since her," Nane remarked.
Monkey Fist froze and sharply glared at Nanny Nane. She met his eyes challengingly. After a long moment, Monkey Fist growled lowly, "I never wanted her either. Do not bring the woman up to me again."
"She certainly wanted you," Nane said.
"So does DNAmy," Monkey Fist argued.
"You felt something for her, Monty, as little as it was you felt something," Nanny Nane said.
"Well that hardly matters now, anymore, does it? She's dead, and I couldn't care less," he answered. For a moment he swore he heard her laugh and tensed in fear. No, no, superstitious nonsense. She wasn't seeking revenge. Besides, her death hadn't been his fault, it hadn't.
*Kim Possible 4: Family