"Well, that took you long enough," Tony commented when the hood around his head was finally removed. He winced at the light that stabbed him in the eye, before tilting his head up to take stock of the agent that was tasked with rescuing him this time around. Wow. Was it an requirement for all agents to be models nowadays? All pretty face and lean muscles to stun their enemies into submission and then hit them where it hurt?

Tony tried to say so as much, until it finally registered that whatever he thought he was saying only came out as babbles due to that lovely tape his captors stuck over his mouth after the second time he schmoozed some baddie into almost letting him go with the promise of more pay. Letting out a huff, Tony shrugged out of his handcuffs and ripped the duct tape off.

"Hello, Sexy," Tony said with a smirk, eyeballing the agent with evident interest.

"Wha?" Agent said, and wow, he even had a sexy voice. How nice, although it seemed like he was a newbie to whatever agency he was a part of if he was surprised by that. "How did you...?"

"Handcuffs are easy to get out of, but what am I supposed to do afterwards with a whole platoon of people guarding me?" Tony asked rethoterically, fiddling with the cuff around his ankles for a moment, before unlocking and tossing aside it. He looked up with a grin. "Would love to stay for chitchat, but maybe we should go now before the alarm sound."

"They're all taken care of," Agent said, absentmindedly, still staring as though he didn't know what to make of Tony. To his credit, it only took him a second before he snapped his mouth close and nodded. "Right. This way," he said, and began marching him down the aisle of the truck. "Are you hurt anywhere?"

"Nope. Just really, really want a nice hamburger now," Tony said. "And nice job with all this." He gestured to all the unconscious and groaning bodies that littered the path from the entrance to his prison. He got a flash of a cute smile in return. "You got a name, Agent?"

Agent looked back for a second, like he was about to tell him, before turning away. "Just Agent for now, Mr. Stark."

Tony pouted, both at Agent's refusal to give him his name and at how Agent basically denied Tony's chance to introduce himself. "Fine, but - "

The truck they were in came to a sudden halt, sending Tony flying face first into Agent's back. Ohh, muscles. "And that's Romanov," Agent said, gazing down at Tony with the twitch of his lips.

Tony snapped out of his bliss induced by Agent's nice muscles, his former ease at the thought of being rescued by Rhodey's group or even Pepper's hired detectives vanished when he realized Agents was with neither. Tony really should have confirmed before he relaxed. "Romanov?" Tony uttered, running the name through his mind. He pushed away from Agent, eyes narrowing. "You're with fucking SHIELD?"

Agent parted his lips to respond, but Tony didn't give him a chance to before he threw himself at one of the computers in the truck, fingers flying across the keyboard the moment they touched. If he could get to Jarvis...

Something stabbed into his neck and it was unfortunately a sensation he had become acquainted to. He sluggishly turned around to glare, but strength already sapped from his limbs and his vision was a blur. "Romanov," Tony hissed at the redhead spy that had just appeared. The last thing he saw was Agent's face, surprised and worried as he caught Tony's falling body, before he passed out.

Xxx

"Fuck… Am I drunk? Tell me I'm just drunk and didn't just switch from one abductor to another," Tony hissed as he came back into consciousness. He cracked an eye open and saw a sole eye glaring back at him. "Nick fucking Fury, of course. Don't glare at me like that, Cyclopes. It wasn't my fault this time around."

"Are you sure?" Fury said, arching his eyebrow at him. "How is it that the week after your Malibu mansion have been attacked, my spies and agents began dropping one by one like flies?"

Tony laughed at the accusation he heard in his voice. "What? You think I sent the Mandarin to attack my mansion and then to off your little agents and spies?"'

Fury leaned closer, trying for intimidation now, but Tony didn't survive months in a cave with a bunch of terrorist by giving into pressure. "I think that whoever attacked your mansion did so for a reason, and they found that reason during that attack. I think that they took something from your mansion, a gadget that you didn't think twice about its dangers before you made it" - Tony's mind unwittingly flashed to Obie standing above him, the stiffness of his own body, the ringing in his ear and the hiss as his arc reactor – his lifeline – forcibly disengaged from him - "and now that same gadget is dropping my SHIELD agents one at a time. So tell me, Stark, unless you want a personal tour of the dungeons of SHIELD, what is it exactly that you created, what does it do and how do you disable it."

"My tech can't simply be disabled, that's quaint and boring, although even if there is a way, I won't tell you. What would you do after it's disabled? Leave it alone or take it in to study after it's no longer a threat to you?" Tony asked. At Fury's growing furious look, he finished with, "Do us a favor fucking favor and don't kid yourself. If I let you get your grubby hands on my tech, in the name of fucking justice, you would do the exact same thing the Mandarin are now doing now to SHIELD."

"I don't need to justify myself to you, Stark," Fury hissed, not even bothering refuting what they both knew to be true. "You have two choice: one, help us, or two, rot in the dungeon."

"You think you can order me around?" Tony asked, slowly standing despite the bitch of a headache that still pulsed through his brain."Really? That's possibly the worst thing you could have done considering that now you're asking me for help."

"Should I grovel on the floor for your help then?" Fury said drily, and received a flash of a vicious grin in response. Fury leveled a look at him, not at all amused. "You will do it because of two things. One, you owe us, Stark. We got you out of your abductor's hands. Two, you'll need us because I know you don't want your tech in anyone's hands but your own unless you purposefully sold them."

"You think you know me so well, don't you?" Tony said with a frown, arms crossed defensively over his chest.

"Let me throw you a bone as an incentive," Fury added, his voice making known how insufferable and ridiculous he thought of Tony. "Your knight in shining armor will be assigned to help you with this mission."

Tony perked up. "Agent?"

Fury shook his head at Tony. "Can you get any more uncreative?" He asked and held up a hand before Tony could snark back. "His name is Steve, in case you decide to use his name any time soon."

Tony thought of the lean muscle, firm, broad shoulders, beautifully sculpted face and a voice worth salivating over. "Steve," he uttered lowly, almost to himself like a maiden sighing over her love.

Fury sighed. "If I had known you were susceptible to pretty boys, I would have had them deal with all the encounters with you. Save me from the headache."

"Not all pretty boys," Tony said with a grin, wagging his index finger at him. "Only this one. Now where is he? Let's get this show down the road!"

"He'll meet you later, Stark," Fury growled, unable to take Tony's chirpy mood anymore. "Now tell me about this gadget of yours."

"Oh, that?" Tony asked, waving his hand careless. He looked over at Fury and contrary to his demeanor, his eyes were glittering intently. "It's called God's Eye."

"Oh, that?" Tony asked, waving his hand careless. He looked over at Fury and contrary to his demeanor, his eyes were glittering intently. "It's called God's Eye."

"Fast&Furious!Avengers Assemble!"

Yeah, that never happened, unfortunately. I wrote this ages ago back when I just saw Furious 7 after it came out and I thought Tony could totally create God's Eye and rule the world with Jarvis. (Well, more like Jarvis would rule the world in an orderly fashion and Tony would puff his chest out proudly and be like, yup, that's my son right there.) Now thinking back, I'm not sure how I expected that to be the ending when SHIELD came into play, because of course SHIELD wouldn't "leave such dangerous tech that Tony made in Tony's hand."