Disclaimer: The following work is a work of fiction. Anything that may or may not have happened to any person's living or dead is purely coincidental. The writers also do not own any of the rights to the characters or the show the characters are from, Darkwing Duck. They are not receiving any profits and it was only created to amuse and/or scar. If you like, leave a comment. If you hate, leave a comment. If you you don't remember something, that means it never happened. I mean...Leave a comment.
Warning: This is smut. Sex. Hanky-panky. All between two criminally insane males. It gets quite detailed. Just saying for those that actually do know how to use the back button. If you read on and you know this won't please you...How about you leave a comment, eh?
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Connubialis Risus
By: Moonie and Snark
Okay, QuackerJack was bored. A capital B-O-R-E-D. He had been sitting on the old hard wooden bench for some time. The mallard's hat jingled from agitation as he continued to play with his paddle-ball while he waited. The rubber hitting the flimsy board filled the otherwise silent museum. Pongpongpongpong; the rhythm quickened the clown's own heartbeat until QuackerJack couldn't distinguish the two.
"Ooooooooh, this is killin' me! If i don't do something fun and entertaining fast, I'll...I'll...I'll spontaneously combust!" How this would happen was just itty bitty details that he easily overlooked.
QuackerJack looked back and forth down the corridors of the currently under construction Hall of Invention. It had been abandoned for the night, all the workers had gone home, leaving it empty. Well, except for some of the bigger doodads they couldn't move into other rooms because of weight. It amused Quacky that he could still see some of the light of the moon seeping through the bit of uncovered wall. The builders had not finished filling up the hole after the plane crash of the world's first flying machine, and there was still the faint smell of burnt wood that filled the duck's nostrils.
The destruction caused (inadvertently) by the very person the toymaker was waiting for.
"Boooooored! Gah! I'm goin' mad here! Okay...Okay. I'm gonna give Megsy to the count of three before I'm outta here. Even IF he promised this was gonna be a fun surprise."
He covered his eyes with his hands, as if he was playing a game of hide n' seek.
"Ooooooone."
A pause.
"Twoooooooo."
QuackerJack peeked between his fingers.
"Two and a haaaaalf. Two and three quarters..."
He threw his arms up in the air and shouted the final number angrily.
"Three! Ugh! That's it. Exit, stage left. Heh."
Quackerjack stood up and stretched briefly, turned on his heels and began making his way to the exit. He stopped in his tracks as the eerie sound of clanging metal resounded off the concrete walls of the otherwise deathly silent museum. A shiver ran up the duck's spine in spite of himself.
"Well it's about time, Megs! You should know better than to keep a girl waiting, I was just about to le-"
'Clang' … 'Scraaaape'
"...Megavolt? Is that you?" Quackerjack called out, somehow managing to keep his voice steady, despite being mildly creeped out.
'Clang-clang-scraaaape... clang-CLANG-SCRAAAPE' Whatever it was, it was getting closer, and the mallard found it impossible to pinpoint the direction it was coming from, due to the sound bouncing off the walls and up and down every surrounding corridor.
The mad toy maker strained to see through the shadows cast by the invading moonlight, but without much luck. The clanging and scraping sounds were getting louder, and by the time it registered to Quackerjack that the sound was behind him, it was too late. He barely had enough time to spin around before a flash of yellow was flying at him. Quackerjack let out a strangled yelp, and he didn't realize he was being tackled until he hit the floor and had the wind knocked out of him.
Quackerjack recovered quickly, gasping a few times to catch his breath. His heart slowed and any fear he'd felt before ebbed away as he looked up into the face of his comrade in crime, Megavolt, who was straddling the duck's stomach and smirking down at him evilly.
"Going somewhere, Quacky?" questioned the rodent, mischievously. The scraping and clanging sounded again as Megavolt pulled something closer out of the shadows, and pulled out some sort of plastic mask.
The mad mallard raised a brow, confused by the mask's presence.
"Huh. Ya know, I don't think I've played this game before. What the heck are ya up to?"
The jester was answered by silence. Megavolt's grin practically curling at the edges. It was then a thought hit Quackerjack. He giggled.
"Hehehe! oh, riiiight. You did say it was a surprise. And surprised I certainly am. Oh Megsy, you're usually never so forward with our playtime. Sniffles. You made this clown's heart grow three sizes to-MPH!"
The rodent thrust the object onto his mouth, making the other quiet his eager declaration. It was pressed hard, as if to prevent the duck from removing it. Quacky's eyes opened wide in mild alarm as the spandex-cladded individual's other hand went into the shadows. There was a squeak of metal turning, before a hiss followed. It took a moment for the duck to register that gas was filling the mask.
Quackerjack held his breath as he began to thrash about. The little he had breathed in already fogging his mind. The bells at the end of the crazed deviant's hat thrashing and jingled violently about.
Megavolt had all he could do to keep the flimsy mask pressed to Quackerjack's bill as the duck tried desperately to escape his captor. The rodent grunted in frustration, despite the familiar tingling he began to feel in his lower gut from the struggle. Why wasn't it working yet? Unless...
The electrical rodent felt an unsure mixture of panic and anger sweep over him. He let his right hand slip away from the handle on the gas tank and brought it to Quackerjack's chest, fingertips skating lightly over the thin fabric there, light static licking out to the feathered flesh underneath.
"You can't hold your breath forever, you loony duck..." Megavolt growled.
Can't he? The "loony duck" begged to differ! And he would have continued until he turned his favorite shade of purple too... If it wasn't for the familiar and erotic feel of electricity touching his flesh.
QuackerJack was surprised by this sudden shock, and found himself moaning out his remaining breath. He had no choice but to breath in whatever horrors was leaking through the mask. Megavolt continued to shock him as he rubbed his chest and belly. Well, if he had to go out like a light bulb...at least he was going out with an erection.
The clown took in a deep breath, his mind instantly starting to lose whatever remaining grip on reality he had. He heard the hissing of the gas. He felt the touch of his lover. He saw the aggressive passion on Megavolt's face. Then he heard a giggling. Very soft and faint at first. But after every second that dragged on, it grew bit by bit in intensity.
It took awhile for QuackerJack to realize he was listening to himself.
A small smile could be seen though the mask, and a devious glint shone in the mad mallard's eyes as he realized just what he was breathing in.
The thrashing and struggling had stopped, but the jester was far from still, now caught in the throes of a laughing fit. The steady hiss of the gas tank finally petered out as it ran dry. Megavolt took the mask away as his companion continued his mirth beneath him.
The rodent's mad grin had been replaced with a much less frightening smile. He listened to the laughter of his friend that he'd never admit to being fond of. Megavolt scooted back to get a better view of Quackerjack's laughing fit, and jumped in surprise as his posterior met with something unexpected. Megs arched his back and craned his neck around to make sure it was what he thought it was, only to find that Quackerjack had indeed started to set up the circus tent. The mad scientist blinked a few times, having forgotten all about his original intentions. Suddenly realization dawned on his face and he turned back to look at the mask that was still in his hand.
"Whoa, it really DOES work..." Megavolt said to no one in particular. Then he frowned as he remembered his shock therapy he had performed earlier and realized he'd never know now.
Shrugging, Megs was not deterred as he reached out and took a firm grip on the jester's collar and yanked it hard. He felt a sick sort of pleasure as he heard the fabric rip and soon Quackerjack was minus one article of clothing, as Megavolt carelessly tossed the ruined apparel behind him, into the shadows.
The clown ceased his moment for a minute as he pouted at the loss of his poor collar. The thing had died far too young and in its prime no less. However, before he could stop himself, he burst out laughing again.
"Hehehehahaha! Laughing gas, huh? Oh Megsinator, ol' pal, ya never stop amusing. Hehe!"
His member throbbed in his pants as he continued to hear his own mirth. He was flushed from the effects of the gas. QuackerJack grabbed the hand with the mask, giving it a squeeze.
"Now now. I HOPE ya know you can't stop the game. Not when I'm enjoying it THIS Much. Heh. Ya have me where ya want me, question is...what's your next move, lover boy? Hehe!"
Megs glared at the hand grasping his own, dropping the mask and entwining his fingers with the jester's. The rodent squeezed back, but his was accompanied by a dull electrical shock that traveled down Quackerjack's arm and dissipated at the chest. The mallard shivered from the sensation and inhaled sharply, only to be interrupted by yet another gale of laughter.
"Oh, I wasn't planning on stopping, THIS game is just getting started." Megavolt replied, trying to pull his hand away but being unsuccessful. Quackerjack's grip remained strong, even as Megavolt tugged repeatedly and finally resorted to flailing his captive arm childishly. All the while, the jester continued to laugh at him, obviously sillier than usual on laughing gas.
"Quackerjaaaack, let go!" whined the electrical villain. Quackerjack snorted and rolled his eyes.
"Fiine. Hehe. I just hate to see a grown man whine." Quacky lied, and let go, already laughing again. Megs mumbled something under his breath, and after a few awkward moments of re-situating himself, he was now straddling Quackerjack's stomach, but with his back facing him this time.
Megavolt was vaguely aware that his mischievous grin had returned, as he sat looking down at the jester's tented pants. Pulling the fabric away with his left hand, the rodent reached in blindly with his right. The prize wasn't difficult to find, and has he wrapped his hand around his companion's tool, he felt the warm tingling in his gut again.
A heightened rush of excitement hit QuackerJack as the rodent grabbed his saluting solider. The feel of the cool latex sent a pleasurable shiver and more giggles throughout him. Megavolt squeezed his shaft, as if to test out a new toy. The duck moaned in between his cries of mirth; his member throbbing a hard steady beat already. The rat released the pressure, to have it be followed by another squeeze.
Megavolt didn't need to turn around to tell that the toymaker was practically silly-putty in his hands. Even with the slick blue rubber gloves stroking his slinky, it was still rough enough that the friction was great. But in no time he was oozing his own natural lubricant, causing Megavolt to rub up and down him faster and faster. QuackerJack felt a strong flame in his loins and gut, as he shut his eyes and focused on the sensation. A laugh escaping him in between his moans
"Ooooo, heh, this surprise just keeps getting better, ah, and better! Hehe!"
There came a faint whimper from the toy maker as the pumping slowed and then stopped all together.
"Surpriiise." taunted Megavolt. He let go of the leaking member, studying his hand and watching it glisten with Quackerjack's clear precome in the moonlight. The rodent's tongue licked out to taste the fluids, before three fingers disappeared into his mouth and sucked clean.
The familiar and, to Megavolt, pleasant taste caused a dull throb in his own nether regions. Megs frowned as he looked down to see his modest length was straining against the tight fabric of his jumpsuit by this point.
Stealing a glance backwards at Quackerjack, the electrical genius was met with a half-lidded, hazy gaze and a pleased yet weak grin. The gas was still in effect, fogging the mallard's mind and sending him into sporadic giggle fits.
"How'd I taste? And with today's offer, ya can get a two for one sale on all your duck sauce needs."
The clown's smile stretched wider as he heard Megavolt mumble to himself something about a certain sinuous pup, and how Quackerjack had no right to channel him that moment. But the duck could see full well that he was more than interested in taking up on that offer. Most likely at full charge, too. And in his oh so humble opinion, he felt that Megsy was taking this game far too slow.
The rodent didn't know what hit him when he suddenly found himself tackled and spun around. He barely blinked before he found QuackerJack looming over him. And the criminally insane individual barely opened his mouth to complain before the duck took full liberty in silencing him again. The jester tasted his own sexual juices as his fingers found their way to undoing his lover's spandex suit.
A lust-induced shudder shot down Megavolt's spine, and current licked out from his whiskers with a faint crackling sound, as the two villains' tongues played a rather erotic game of twister. After awhile, the kiss was broken, and the rodent breathed a quavering sigh of relief as Quackerjack freed his straining erection from the confines of it's spandex prison.
"You know..." Megavolt muttered, taking hold of the hem of Quackerjack's shirt, and pulling it up.
"...Next time, I'm tying you up." he finished in a flirtatious growl, yanking the shirt over the jester's head, both of them working briefly to get it the rest of the way off, before that, too, was carelessly discarded onto the museum floor.
Next a pair of blue gloves joined the colorful shirt on the floor, and long fingers ran through the soft feathers on the duck's exposed chest and abdomen.
"But I could go for some... duck sauce."
Quackerjack tsked while wagging his finger, and playfully scolded the rodent under him.
"Tsk tsk. You and your Chinese food cravings. Heh. Seeeee, this is why you got a bit of a pudge going on." He poked Megavolt's belly to prove his point.
"Would you stop that," the villain growled threateningly.
"No need to get all testy, Megsy. I didn't say the pudginess was a bad thing. "
Before Megs could whine and declare he was in perfect shape for a forty-something year old super powered nerd, the crazed duck began to nibble the rodent's collar bone. This sent more static down the male's body. Quacky could feel the tingling sensation on his teeth and bill. He then continued with his erotic preening.
The jester's hat jingled as he tilted he head to see the flush on Megavolt's face. He could also sense the agitation in not letting him have what he wanted. QuackerJack laughed before deciding on making a compromise.
"Ooooh, alrighty. We'll play a game of sharesies."
Upon hearing this, Megavolt's body stiffened against the museum floor.
"...Sharesies?" he squeaked, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. "You mean like..." Megs sat up as best he could with the jester on top of him, propping himself on his elbows. He stared into the sizable set of chompers grinning back at him and felt faint. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
"Uh... sure... just, be careful, yeah?" he replied at last, glad his voice sounded more sure than he felt. He attempted to sit up farther, but found such an action to be impossible. He glared at Quackerjack.
"ONE of us needs to... y'know... turn around. Or something. … Right?" mumbled the rodent, blushing and unable to make eye contact with his companion as he said it.
This reaction merely caused the duck to giggle some more.
"Honestly Megsy, you act as if I plan on biting off your lil' lightening rod. And that would be like hurting the both of us. But if it makes ya feel better, I solemnly swear to be as careful as I can with your pecker. Woodchuck's honor!"
QuackerJack then slithered his way down the rat's body sultrily, before turning himself around. The clown playfully wagged his tush in front of the other male's face before making himself comfortable. He looked his prize straight on before licking up the shaft. QuackerJack fixed in his mind to clean up all the precome, his teeth lightly grazing the flesh, before sucking on his lollipop.
And right when he felt the mixed vibration of a throbbing member and static, he felt Megavolt start on his end. The mallard moaned while still encasing his treat.
Megavolt gasped sharply, and his toes curled inside of the boots he was still wearing at the vibration that ran down his shaft from Quackerjack's groan. When that had passed, he went back to work on his end.
Although the electrical villain had a large mouth, it unfortunately was still not quite enough to accommodate all twelve inches the toy maker had to offer. Megs wrapped both hands around what wouldn't fit, and squeezed at irregular intervals to make up for it. Meanwhile, Megavolt's tongue slid roughly over the rigid flesh, loving how hot and alive the member felt against it. Curling his tongue around the top side of the shaft, he sucked gently for a few moments, before sliding the member in farther to the back of his throat, and proceeding to swallow repeatedly.
Now with only room for one hand around the base of the duck's shaft, Megs took this opportunity to reach up and give the ample, fluff-covered bottom a grope and a squeeze with his newly free hand, more for his own pleasure than Quackerjack's.
The unexpected slap and squeeze on his rear caused Quackerjack to laugh hardily, the vibrations from it sending another moan from the rodent. The clown was really enjoying the menstruations on his slinky, even finding himself getting lost to the pleasure every once in awhile. Now this was the kind of fun he was talking about!
However, Quacky didn't like the thought of Megs trying to one up him. Oh no, that just wouldn't do. While still bobbing his head back and forth on the member, the mallard let his right hand travel. He first lightly caressed and tickled Megavolt's bouncy balls. He gave it a few more goes, before the jester decided on a new plan of action. QuackerJack walked his fingers some more...
Before it pressed lightly to the other villain's glory hole.
This semi-innocent action caused a chain reaction in his electric friend. He jumped, said glory hole clenching shut instantly, previously shut eyes flying open wide, and a deep blush creeping it's way back onto the rodent's face. Not only that, but Megavolt's reflexes caused him to sit up abruptly, jamming more cock into his throat than he could handle, causing him to gag and cough.
Quackerjack burst into a hearty fit of laughter over this. He continued to laugh, even as Megavolt grabbed the duck's hips roughly on each side and yanked upward to avoid suffocation by cock.
Once free of the invading duck meat, Megs shot Quackerjack a glare and a scowl, as he lolled his tongue out in less of a 'nya' gesture, and more of a lazy 'yuck' pantomime. But of course, the duck was still facing the other way and preoccupied and did not see it.
It wasn't that the villain disliked that part of him penetrated. Heck, as much as he refused to admit it to even himself, he enjoyed when his partner in crime used his tongue there quite a bit. But ever since the loony jester had gotten himself stuck in there, Megavolt was a little uneasy when it came to things near his back door.
Megavolt slowly relaxed as Quackerjack opted to rubbing his hole for now instead. He didn't much mind what the other villain did to him there now, anyway.
'A simple WARNING woulda been nice...' he thought angrily. Megavolt didn't like surprises.
Twelve inches of throbbing duck penis was staring the rodent in the face, saliva and precome dripping off the tip and landing on his bare chest every now and then, causing him to sizzle a tad. Instead of putting it back in his mouth, he stuck his tongue out, and began rubbing Quackerjack's frenulum lightly with the tip of his tongue, in quick flicking motions.
The duck gasped, not having had expected his sensitive spot to be stimulated. (And especially not so soon after the fun maneuver he pulled on his partner.) The clown felt himself bucking from the pleasure. Oh, Megavolt had been doing some research!
Whether it was from the laughing gas or from the passions of sex, QuackerJack's clouded mind made it hard to withstand. Usually the mallard had the unnatural ability to make sure he didn't climax before his playmates. Uh uh, the game was to see who could stand the longest. But with the pressure and intense heat in his loins, and his control seemingly gone "bye bye", QuackerJack didn't know how much longer he could stand. His bursts of laughter had been completely replaced by moans and groans.
And this frustrated him.
No no...the game wasn't over yet. The clown ceased his rubbing and decided to penetrate the rodent. One finger as first, thrusting it in and out for a few goes, before another one followed. The speed noticeably faster than the motion on Megavolt's penis. Inoutinoutinout. Up and down. Up and down.
QuackerJack felt the electrical discharge grow with intensity. Even feeling it go down the lengths of his hat and giving a crackle as it hit the bells.
The sensual flicking on the duck's member was interrupted as the intense combination of sucking and thrusting caused the heated pressure in the rat's groin to boil over.
"Quackerjaaaahnn...!"
With one last cry of passion, Megavolt threw his head back, arched his hips up and ground them into the duck's bill as he unloaded both his seed and a burst of excited voltage into it, instantly losing the game he hadn't known he was playing. He distantly heard Quackerjack giggle at the sensation of static vibrating through his skull and teeth.
Every muscle in Megavolt's body went slack as he lay there on the museum floor panting, with a stupid, orgasm-fogged grin on his face. Quackerjack looked back, licking some semen off the front of his bill, grinning triumphantly.
"Who's this Quackerjohn fella?" questioned the jester, the look on his face making it obvious he was only teasing. "Y'know, calling out a stranger's name during sex is a HUGE mood ki-UMPH!" Quackerjack's words were muffled as his friend reached his legs up far enough to wrap them around the duck's neck, and bring his bill to the floor in a gentle face-plant.
Megavolt let out a tired, yet still insane bray of laughter as he watched Quackerjack struggle for awhile.
"I'm not done yet." the rodent stated simply, taking hold on the duck meat again, finding that special spot and continuing the sensual tickling with his tongue.
Megs being so aggressive with his play was reason enough to be sent over the edge, but then he started doing THAT again. The toymaker felt like a dog in heat, panting heavily as he clawed at the floor.
In mere moments he too ejaculated. Tired giggles escaping him. They sat like that for a few minutes, Quackerjack's bottom in the air, as the rodent made sure to lick up all the duck sauce. Once this was done, Megavolt released his legs from around the jester's neck. As the electrical villain plopped back onto the ground, the mad mallard turned around and climbed back up his body. He gently laid himself down as he looked into his lover's face. he playfully bopped him on the nose.
"Heh. Missed me, huh?"
QuackerJack had recently been busy with his own scheme. He had thought how delightful it would be to just GIVE his toys away for a change. Oh, how wonderful it would be to have children smile fondly at his creations once more. Why, he even made a special one for the little red head child that follows ol' Dorkwing Dunce around. (She might have had bad tastes when it came to hero worshiping, but that was not reason she couldn't get a new dolly. Maybe he could correct her ways.)
However, creating toys for all the girls and boys of Saint Canard had left him busy for weeks.
Mismatched, half-lidded eyes met his own through blue tinted goggles.
"Well, I was browsing the internet the other night, and I saw a forum talking about 'laughing gas' being a powerful aphrodisiac for clowns and jesters. And I though hey. Why not see if it really works?" he replied airily. "… For science." he added after a moment of consideration.
Megs watched as Quackerjack's brow furrowed and a pout began to form on his bill. Megavolt grinned.
"...And I guess I missed you. Maybe a lot." he reassured, placing his left arm under the back of his own head, and his left hand on the jester's bare back, drawing lazy circles on it with his finger tips.
"I'm uh... not used to being the one to make the plans. Y'know, setting up the... date." the rodent had to break eye contact as he said the last word. "I hope this was okay..." the hand left Quackerjack's back momentarily to gesture around the museum.
"Oh, I'd say it was more than an 'alright' date. Heh. I quite enjoyed it. Maybe I should disappear more often just ta have ya make these kind of special plans. Hehehe!"
"As for the place," Quackerjack paused and gave it a good look around, "sure is kind of spooky at night. And everything echoes all cool n' scary like. Buuuuut...It's also kind of romantic. Heh. It reminds me of you. But of all the places ya could have picked, why here?"
Megavolt shrugged.
"I wanted to see how the repairs were coming along, anyway." was his reply, gesturing towards the damaged wall. "It's a real shame so much of it was destroyed like that... Ohh that Darkwing! He has NO respect for... eh." he finished lamely. He found himself too exhausted and content to get angry at that moment. He made a mental note to rant around his living room about it later. Quackerjack snickered.
Neither villain spoke for awhile after that. Quackerjack lay with his head on Megavolt's chest, listening to the steady heart beat and rhythmic breathing. Megavolt was lost in thought, his hand replaced on the duck's back, gently rubbing absentmindedly. The toy maker looked up as his friend sighed.
"I, uh... used to come here a lot. When I was a kid, I mean." Megavolt said, in a by-the-way tone. Quackerjack propped himself up on his elbows and gave the other villain his full attention.
"I always found it fascinating. I mean, who wouldn't? There's a lotta history in this place." he continued, his hand once again gesturing around the darkened and partly destroyed museum. Megs seemed to be lost in thought again for a few moments.
"And a lotta fond memories, too." he said at last, just above a whisper.
"Ya know, I'm more surprised you remember anything from waaaay far back. Oooo, it must be some super special happy memories!" It took all of QuackerJack's control to not just start bopping up and down. The mallard was getting giddy, but didn't want to ruin the chances of distracting the rodent while he was going down memory lane. He bit the bottom part of his bill to try and suppress his bubbling energy, already starting to feel charged after their playtime.
"Go on, Megsy, tell me a story or two!"
Megavolt's eyes shot open in surprise, and sat up, this time the jester on top of him letting him do so.
"Um... a story? Uh... let's see... a story..." Megs scratched his head and scanned their moon lit surroundings. Finally his gaze fell upon something that made him smile; an open arch way leading down another corridor that was too dark to see into at the moment.
"Oh! See that? That's the Edison wing." he stated matter-of-factly, pointing to said arch way, before a sharp chill ran down the rodent's naked body. He wrapped his arms around in front of his bare chest and shivered. He hadn't realized how cold this place was at night, especially with one of it's walls mostly gone.
Megavolt cleared his throat. "One moment, please." and reached for his clothes.
The mad mallard quickly grabbed the rodent's outstretching arm, surprising Megavolt some. He pouted.
"Aw, come on Megsy. Don't get dressed yet. I like bein' able to see all of ya. It makes me happy."
He pulled out his puppy dog eyes to go with his quivering bill, knowing for sure this would do the other villain in.
"Besides, let me be your blanket. Ya tellin' me I'm not warm enough for ya?"
Manipulation at its finest.
QuackerJack grinned wide as the rat huffed, but otherwise bidding his pleas. The duck did as he promised, wrapping his arms around the other villain.
"As for stories...Ya know, I meant ones involving you. Not about the actual inventions."
The chills subsided as Megs was wrapped in his makeshift feather blanket.
"I know... as I was saying..." he mumbled. "I used to come here every day after school. And on weekends! I practically grew up in this place. But I still remember one day I brought my homework here. It was an essay on Edison, naturally. And I got a perfect score on it, too!... Or, I would have if Ham String hadn't flushed it down the school toilet. Followed by my head." the rodent shuddered in Quackerjack's arms, but not from the cold this time. At this rate, he'd never get to the end of his story.
"Ooooh yeah, I think I recall hearing that on the news. You were gonna fry ol' Porky Pig and his high school sweetie. Heh. Tsk tsk. Too bad 'he who flaps his gums in the night' had to stop ya. Would have been good therapy! Hehehe!"
He calmed himself down. "But yes, dooooo go on."
Megs seemed to snap out of what ever side store he'd ended up getting caught up in. He looked at Quacky and blinked.
"Huh? Oh! Right. The story. Where was I... oh yeah. So there I was, sitting happily in the corner of the Edison wing, writing my essay, and reading the book on the guy I'd just borrowed from the library. In fact I KEPT reading until it got too dark too see. That is, after everyone else had gone home and they locked the doors of the museum and shut all the lights off."
"That late, huh? Sheesh. Don't they even check the place. Laaaazy guards. I bet ol' Mommsy was worried. How did the night go for lil' you? were ya scared? Maaan, I bet you were so cute n' adorable n' yummy as a kid."
Megavolt gave a single nod. "I- … yummy?" he stared at Quackerjack, who simply stared back, grinning even wider. The electrical villain shook his head. "Anyway... I did what any self respecting fifth-grade science genius would do!" Megavolt stated dramatically, puffing out his chest. "I panicked." he finished simply as he shrugged.
"Stumbling around blindly in the dark, tripping over my book, getting up and running full speed into a display case... a guard found me in the morning passed out on the floor." Megs gave a dreamy sigh.
"Ah, such fond memories!" He lay his head back on his friend's chest.
QuackerJack buried his face in the rodent's neck and let loose an insane fit of laughter. His mirth even stronger than it was on nitrous oxide, causing the clown to cry. It took a good many minutes for the duck to calm himself down.
Megavolt was just plain confused.
Finally Quacky wipe away his tears and looked the electrical villain in the eyes. And as straight as he could muster, he said two words:
"You're weird."
Megavolt looked mildly offended, and was about to gripe, before the toymaker cut him off again.
"I like weird. Heh. Awwww, I'm glad ya at least...enjoyed yourself. Hehe! Although, that reminds me of when I was a tater-tot myself. Had to have been six or so. Have I ever told ya about the incident between me, some bully, some fishies, and a large fish tank at the ol' Duckberg Aquarium? " …
And so that was how they spent the rest of their night, just telling stories about their past back and forth. Going from childhood, to even more recent events. they went on like this until they feel asleep in each others' arms. As happy and content as they could be.
Sure, in the morning they were found by some very confused and horrified kids...but that's a tale for another day.
THE END
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AN:
Snark: Wooow...I am liking Megs in control here. He's actually ALMOST sexy.
Moonie: Yeeaah no not really. But it's the effort that counts, right?
Snark: Quacky certainly seems to think so! Because that's one huge thumbs up in his pants...Why don't YOU ever try and use laughing gas on me?
Moonie: Quackerjack rides around in a giant rollar skate, has conversations with dolls and thinks it's okay to touch children. His opinion doesn't count. And I don't need to use laughing gas on you; you laugh at me enough during fun times =(
Snark: ...I don't think being a pedo makes his opinions NOT count. Heh. And hey! I wouldn't laugh if it weren't for the fact you keep tickling me. I'm a manly delicate walflower, I'll have you know.
Moonie: Hey, I only chained you to the wall ONCE... oh wait. We're supposed to be talking about the story, huh? Um... that musta been the most talked about field trip that year, huh?
Snark:...Are you trying to bring THAT up again, woman?
Moonie: Actually I was talking about the kids that found those two the next day (because let's face it, the only way you're gonna get normal kids to visit a history museum is by force). But now that you mention it, yes! Let's talk about the fishies, Snark!
Snark:...Heeeey. I'll have you know I used to visit museums for fun! Education is fun! ...god I'm a nerd. And no! I don't remember beating anybody up for breaking a fish tank, thus it never happened. End of THAT epic story. now let's get back to the gay sex. No, actually, I think I enjoyed the humor of this the most. Megavolt was just plain hilarious.
Moonie: Humor? You LAUGHED at Megavolt almost choking to death on duck dick, didn't you? You are a terrible fangirl.
Snark: ...You make me sound like a terrible person when you put it THAT way...AND NOT HIS FANGIRL! I'm 100 percent for the spinach butt.
Moonie: What about if he accidentally sat in spinach and some stuck to his butt? ... We should probably wrap this up. Did we have a point?
Snark: These are supposed to have points? huh. I guess I'll do something then. "It was fun, yadda yadda. Parents should rip out the childrens' eyes, it's the best way to censor. And so forth." Now can we try the laughing gas sex? pleeeeease? I promise I'll be laughing WITH you and not AT you.
Moonie: Sounds good to me! Off to the dentist!
Snark: Siiiigh. I hope you wear a nurses outfit too. Well, that ends this. TTFN- Ta-Ta For Now! Woohoohoo!