Chapter One: Downward Spiral

The air inside the bar was fogged with clouds of cigarette smoke and reeked of sweet liquor and stale tobacco. Burly tattooed men in leather vests, drunkards passed out over their 15th glass of beer, hookers, and sad, old women with 5 pounds of makeup on their faces, desperately trying to get a date were the main occupants of the shabby little building. Not exactly the place you'd expect a well kept person, no less a well kept cop to be hanging around. Especially not a person like me.

But here I was, decent, up kept Juliet O'Hara, SBPD detective, sitting in The Boar's Head Tavern, looking completely out of place in my newly pressed gray pantsuit and perfectly curled hair. I slouched in the corner furthest from all of the action,which currently was an angry biker beating the bar tender over the head with a pool stick because he brought him scotch instead of whiskey. I would have went over and saved the poor man with one flash of my badge, but I was to depressed to even get up and help. And anyway, my badge made me think of him.

It had been four weeks since I had broken up with Shawn, and I had gone into a full on downward spiral. At work I kept up a front of calmness, but inside I was screaming. Never had I cared so much about someone that the thought of them leaving me made me sick to my stomach. Technically it was me that left him, not the other way around. He lied to me for seven years. Seven whole years, and he never once thought of telling me. Even when he knew how important the truth is to me, he still lied.

"No matter how much you love him you have to let it go. Don't let him take over your life. Don't even think about him. Anyone who keeps such a big secret from you isn't worth it." I mumble to myself. But I quickly break my promise, and allow myself to recall my memories of us. When he took me on a 'romantic' picnic, which really turned out to be an hour long trek through the woods, trying to look for the basket he had failed to remember where he had put it. Turns out it was still in the trunk of the Blueberry, where he had forgotten it. Gus was the unlucky person to find it several days later because of the horrific stench the rotten tuna salad sandwiches gave off. Gus made Shawn go buy him 10 new car fresheners to try to rid his precious company car of the smell.

Or when he accidentally spilled his coffee all over the new shirt my mom had bought me for my birthday. He quickly insisted that he should wash it, and gave me one of his smaller t-shirts to wear while it was drying.

We had cuddled on the couch and watched Finding Nemo just one week before we broke up. I had fallen asleep in his lap, and he carried me back to our bed and carefully tucked me in. He placed a soft, gentle kiss on my forehead and crawled in beside me. Now my bed felt so empty without his warmth next to me.

I suddenly realized I was crying. Big tears streamed down my face, ruining my makeup. I took the sleeve of my suit and wiped my eyes, only smearing my mascara worse. I closed my eyes and bit my lip to prevent me from crying and bringing attention to myself. I choked down loud sobs, only strange muffled squeaking sounds came from my mouth. My head fell into my hands and I finally allowed myself to cry out loud.

I must look like a hot mess right now. At least now I fit in here. I had become the depressed girl who sat alone in the back of the bar or club and choked out her sob story to whoever would listen to her. Oh God I'd become a stereotype.

I was shaken out of my trance by a concerned voice.

"Hey, what's wrong?"
I looked up. A young man stood there, a sympathetic look on his face. I tried to say 'broke up' but all that came out was a small sob.

"Relationship troubles?" he said.

I nodded.

"Mind if I sit down?"

I shook my head. Maybe talking to someone would help me.

"I recently broke up with my girlfriend, so I know how you feel right now," he sat down across from me. "Sucks, huh."

"Yeah." I managed to say.

"Well this is already getting depressing. Let's change the subject. My name's Brian Michelson. You?"

"Juliet O'Hara."

He smiled. It was a charming little grin. Like the ones Shawn used to make when he solved a case before us. I shut the thought out of my head and brought my focus back to Brian.

"That's such a pretty name."

I blushed. "Thanks. Brian's a pretty great name too."

He flashed that smile again, and yelled to the bartender "A round of drinks for me and the lovely Juliet O'Hara."

As we waited I stared at him. He was definitely attractive, that's for sure. But even thinking that made me feel like I was somehow cheating on Shawn, so I resorted to staring down at my hands. When the bartender arrived with a pitcher of beer and two glasses, I looked back up at him.

"Well then, Juliet, what do you do for a living? Certainly pantsuitage of that level means you're important."

"I'm a detective for the SBPD."

Brian raised his eyebrows. "Wow a cop. That's awesome," he poured me a glass of beer and then one for him. "I'm just a boring old accountant. Most exciting thing that happens to me all day is when someone has no idea their bankrupt and I get to break it to them. Pretty depressing job."

I nodded in agreement and carefully took a sip of my drink. I had never been much of a drinker but suddenly I found myself loving this beer. I took a bigger swallow and savored the sweet and salty taste of the drink. It was incredible.

"What kind of beer is this?" I said, "It's delicious!"

Brian laughed. "You sound like you've never had a drink in your life! It's a caramel malt. The ones they make here are amazing. Only reason I come to this pig sty." He frowned. "Why are you here. A fancy lady like yourself wouldn't be caught dead in this dive."

"Well, I..." I trailed off. My head slipped off my hand suddenly. I was dizzy. Very dizzy.

"Are you OK, Juliet." Brian said worriedly. His eyes widened with concern.

I quickly shook my head and the dizziness went away. "I'm fine. I think I'm just a bit stressed out from work today. I've been putting a lot of pressure on myself lately."

Brian nodded. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine."

We talked for a while before I began to feel woozy again. It was as if the world was spinning.

I tried to focus on Brian, but I couldn't figure out which one was real. I knew something was bad. Very bad. I had heard horror stories of women getting drugged by the men they met in bars. And he did meet the profile of the average rapist. He was charming, a bit too charming. And he preyed on sad, lonely girls who had just gotten out of a relationship and were now at their most vulnerable. Just wanting to be loved. Oh God. Oh God. Oh God. I was about to be kidnapped.

"I need to go to the restroom." I sputtered out incoherently and tried to get out of the booth. I would get to the bathroom and call the police station. I was close to standing up when Brian reached out and grabbed my arm. Hard.

"But you should stay to have another drink. You want another drink" Brain said soothingly.

It was as if he were in my head. Yes, I did want another drink. I let him pull me back down.

I took another sip of my drink. My head was spinning so fast I could only see a blur of colors and shapes. My brain snapped back into defensive mode. I needed to run. I stood again only to fall back down into my seat. I was too dizzy to run.

Brian's voice rang inside my eardrums from somewhere close to me. "Why are you trying to leave? You know you want to stay."

Did no one see what was happening? Why was nobody helping me?

I opened my mouth to speak but what came out sounded more like 'Iguana tea goat.' that 'I want to go.'

"You want to leave? But we're having so much fun here."

I shook my head. "I wan toe got."

Brian sighed sarcastically, "Well I guess if you reaally want to leave, we could go back to my place and have some fun. Wouldn't you like that, Jules?" He stood up and grabbed my arm again. I had no strength to fight back, so I let him pull me along like a puppet until we reached what I think was the parking lot. He forced me into a car and locked all of the doors. He started the engine and pulled away from the tavern. I slumped down in my seat. I was so helpless. How could I have let this happen to me? I was a cop. I shouldn't have trusted him so quickly. Why hadn't I been more careful? As a last attempt, I reached up my hand, and hit the window with a blow so feeble that it barely made a sound. "Help." was all I managed to say as I slipped into unconsciousness.

I shifted in and out of consciousness all night, and the things he did to me I'd rather not remember.

I woke up the next morning in a patch of ferns. I immediately sat up. That was a bad idea. I got on my knees and vomited all over myself. I began to cry. I had no wallet, no purse, no phone. Even my pantsuit was gone, and instead I was wearing just my vomit soaked tank top and underwear. The ones with the little cat faces on them. I thought of my cats. Once I learned that I would transfer to Santa Barbra, I had given them to my parents to take care of. Oh my God, my parents. I needed to get to a phone and call them. Call someone to tell them I was alright. I stood up too quickly again and fell onto my knees and heaved whatever I had left in my stomach onto the ground. I laid back down and began to sob. This mess was all my fault. I had trusted Brian, let him take advantage of me, all because of one stupid break up.

I heard a soft rustle of leaves behind me. I was paralyzed with fear. Was that Brian coming back to get me? Was he going to tie me up to his bed and undress me like he did last night. Was he going to hit me over and over again until my rib cracked. Was he going to pull me so hard my arm broke? Was he going to kill me? I needed to get up and defend myself, but I had no will to move. I couldn't even make a sound. My throat was raw from screaming. If he killed me it would be better that this hell.

But it wasn't Brian, or even a man for that matter. A girl who looked about my age stepped through the foliage. She was wearing a baggy t-shirt and athletic shorts and had a muddy pair of running shoes on her feet. An earbud dangled from one of her ears. I could hear the faint tune of Toxic coming from it. She looked around the surrounding trees until she glanced down and saw me. Her eyes widened and she raised her hand to her mouth. "Oh my God." she whispered under her breath. Immediately she knelt down beside me.

"Are you OK? What happened to you?" She said her voice heavy with worry.

I tried my best to form words but my voice was gone.

"What should I do now?" She began to pace back and forth. "I don't even have a phone. I can't even call an ambulance."

I figured she was talking more to herself than to me. I'd seen this kind of behavior in suspects before. They talk to themselves to calm down in stressful situations.

Suddenly she stopped walking.

"I have my phone in my car. But that's three miles away, and I couldn't leave you here all by yourself. You'd be in danger." She stopped for a moment and looked me up and down. "Could you be able to walk?"

I shook my head slightly. If I couldn't stand, I was sure I wouldn't have much luck with walking.

She moved over to me and put her hands underneath me. I winced as pain shot through my back.

"I'm so sorry, but I couldn't think of any other way of doing this." She said as she stood up, wobbling beneath my weight.

And so she started back to her car. About halfway through the woods, another jogger came into view.

"Hey!" the girl yelled frantically. "Do you have a phone on you?"

The other jogger sprinted over. A look of shock came over his face when he saw me. "What happened to her?"

"I have no idea, but it looks like she was attacked. Now do you have your phone?"

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a flip phone. She snatched it out of his hands and quickly dialed 911.

"Hello? I found a girl in the Los Padres forest. She's hurt pretty badly. I think she was attacked." She paused as the operator spoke to her. "No I don't know her name, she can't talk. OK, please hurry!"

She leaned down next to me. "They're going to send a squad car and an ambulance. They'll be here soon, but we need to try to move you closer to the road."

She turned to the man. "Help me carry her."

Together they slowly lifted me up and continued on. Eventually we made it to the edge of the treeline and saw the police car and ambulance. The doors of the car flew open and Carlton Lassiter stepped out. He rushed towards us.

"Where did you find h..." he trailed off in shock as he realized who I was.

"Oh my God, O'Hara." For a moment he seemed shocked, but the look on his face faded away as he snapped back into police mode. He took out his radio."Chief, we have an injured officer in the Los Padres forest. Possible attack, extent of injuries still unknown," He rubbed his temples vigorously before radioing the station again. "And get Spencer, it's O'Hara. We found O'Hara"