A Prelude of Defeat

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

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You know how people keep telling you that the world is a big place?

Actually, it's immense, that's the only word that can truly explain how big of a place it really is, yet no matter how I look at it, it's so puny. I guess that just means that, whilst the world is very big, the universe that surrounds it, makes it seem as if it is nothing at all.

Considering that, I guess our lives are pretty insignificant on the larger scale. That's kind of depressing really. Not that people don't remind you of this every now and then, it's just that seeing it for yourself is kind of… awe inspiring.

Well, it would be if things were a little different.

This world, that stretches out beneath me, is burning. Fire consumes everything, the oceans are slowly evaporating turning into giant clouds, the forests are long gone, even the ground itself is being consumed by the hungry flames.

I don't know why it's burning. I don't know how to stop it. I don't know if there exists anything, that's still living, down there. I don't even know whether it's worth saving or not.

Am I expected to do something about this?

I can't seem to understand. No matter how many times I try to think of anything, there's a question that echoes thorough my brain, tearing every other thought asunder as it passes.

Why?

I don't even know where that thought comes from, what it's asking. Is it wondering why I don't know anything? Is it trying to understand why the world is burning? Is it desperately trying to comprehend why I'm not down there, together with everything that I've ever known?

Why?

I know nothing. Only that one word. That word and this scenery of endless flames is all that exists to me. I don't know of a time when I did not watch these flames, I do feel as if there was something before this, but I can't remember what such a thing could have been.

"Why…?"

I didn't know that I could speak, until I hear those words slipping through my lips, the voice that utters them is cracking.

I'm finally able to regain some kind of control of myself as I understand that if I have lips through which words can slip, then I must have a mouth with which to form those words, lungs that give me the air needed for such a feat and a throat to connect them to my mouth. Lungs cannot hang in empty air, I must have bones that support them, and muscles that in turn support my bones.

This is how I slowly construct myself, slowly becoming aware that I am me. I exist. I breathe and my heart pumps blood through my veins.

I finally tear my eyes away from the bright flames, searching for anything that might explain the question still echoing throughout my brain.

"Why?"

My voice is steadier this time, aware that it exists even before it makes itself known to my ears.

I continue to search, desperate for anything that may answer that question. And yet, no matter how hard I look, I can't find anything, nothing capable of explaining. Only emptiness. Endless emptiness, and those bright flames of a burning world.

Everything must come to an end. Everything has a lifespan that will expire.

Why?

What does that have to do with anything?

I don't want it to end. I want it to continue, even if for nothing more than a single moment longer. I don't want to give up on this. It still lives, this world is still alive, I'm sure of it. I can feel it struggling to put out those hungry flames.

There is nothing that will go on forever.

Who cares? Why should I care? Even if it doesn't last forever, I want it to continue lasting. I can't stand the thought of this world ending. This is my world. I want it to continue, even if I might complain about a lot of things in it. I don't want it to end. Even if just for another moment, I want this world to live.

It has reached it's end, so it must die.

I don't care. Stop trying to end my world!

I don't know how, but I need to stop this. The voice belongs to the one responsible for this, the one who is doing this, but the voice is nowhere. How do you fight against something that is nowhere? Is it even possible to do so?

There must be something that I can do. Damn it! I can't think of anything. How the hell could I? I'm just human, a normal human, I don't even have any special powers. I'm just your everyday human. How am I supposed to fight against something that is nowhere?

Haruhi.

I don't know why her name popped into my head, but remembering her causes me to turn back to the burning inferno that is our world. Is she alright? Is she in pain? Does her powers protect her from this somehow?

She is the one who will end it.

What? Haruhi is the one who will end the world? She's the one who is burning it to nothingness? That can't be true, she would never do something like that. She wouldn't try to kill the world. And yet, I can't deny it. It'd be difficult to explain, but I can feel her in the middle of all those flames, in the same way that I can feel the world struggling against them, against her.

There must be some way that I can stop her. Some way to postpone this inevitable end. How? Think damn you! There has to be something that I can do!

I need to find Haruhi.

I don't know what it is that I should do once I find her, but I need to find her. I have to somehow go into that inferno? How would I survive? There's no way that I'd survive, right? Maybe I'd survive through sheer dumb luck, kind of doubt it, but since I'm unable to think of something else to do, I guess that'll have to do.

How am I supposed to get to her? The burning world is so far away. There's no way that I'd be able to get there. Maybe if I jumped? That's a stupid idea… don't blame me when we fail miserably, possibly dying in the process.

Here we go!

The feeling of flying through the air is somewhat terrifying since I can't see whatever it was that I was standing on until now. The only thing I can see is that burning inferno, speeding towards me at a speed that will surely end in my quick, and hopefully painless demise.

Ground smashes into my feet blinding me with pain, but I'm not dead, not yet anyway, the flames that surround me will devour me any second now. I need to find Haruhi before then.

Turning towards the place from where I can feel her, I begin limping forward. Somewhere registering that the flames does not burn me, instead they pull back Always hot enough to make me want to shield my face, and yet, the flames won't burn me.

Haruhi? Is this her doing? Possibly. I think that I might've used up my life supply of dumb luck, but at least this means that I might be able to stop this.

My feet have gone numb from the landing and walking is painful, but it's not impossible, so I continue limping forward towards my goal. My eyes burn from the brightness of the flames and I cannot see properly anymore, but I can still feel her somewhere in front of me, and so I stumble onwards. The roaring of the flames drowns all other sound, but I don't need to listen to anything, and so it doesn't matter.

I can feel her standing right in front of me.

"Haruhi," there's no response, but I know that she has heard me.

The world has turned black, my vision unable to stand the brightness of the flames, has simply decided to abandon me completely. Whether or not this is temporary, doesn't matter right now, the only thing that matters is getting to Haruhi, and somehow forcing her to stop all of this.

"I can't see right now, and I'm not sure if I'll be able to hear you over the roaring of the flames, but I'm begging you to stop this…! Even if this world must come to an end, I don't want it to end yet! I want it to continue to live on for even longer!"

There is pain.

Pain beyond description. The only comfort from this pain is that it means that I'm still alive, dead people don't feel any pain. Admittedly, it's not a very good comfort, but as with most things right now, I'm clinging to it since it's the only thing I've got.

I open my eyes, and I realize that I can see. The flames have disappeared, but it's not over yet.

Lightning splits the sky above my head, the ground is crumbling around me, the flames have simply been replaced by another mean of ending the world. Dark clouds, remnants of the oceans that I've always known, whirls above me, and despite my dislike for the feeling that it brings with it, I can't help but be relieved. At least there are no more flames, burning alive would be a very painful way to go.

I don't think I can move anymore, my body won't obey what I tell it, I can even feel my heart struggling with every beat.

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A/n: If you're curious to what happens afterwards read 'Kyon's defeat'. I don't think I'll be able to think of a proper ending to these, but if I do, I'll be sure to post them. Hope you enjoyed this. And no I really don't know how he ended up at the starting point of this fanfic. To be fair, neither does he.