What I don't know now
What I don't know now is what I'm feeling at this time.
If despair or be relieved, because you used me, Astamon. You moved me like a puppet and thrown me away, nevertheless you were not you anymore, who knows from when…
If there's one thing that really hurts, it's not knowing who I knew, because I don't want to believe I opened my heart to a stranger.
And if you were there, still alive somewhere in Quartzmon's body, I haven't noticed it. I was too taken from myself to realize about that hand that obscured my senses, of that little clues maybe you gave me.
Of your requests for help …
That 's what destroys me, Astamon!
Did I never know you?
Will I know you?
I just know that I miss you and who knows, if there is a future, if it can be like what's already been. If you'll revive again, will you want to meet me? Will you remember me? Or should we start from scratch? Will you be as you were? Or even that was just a mask?
For now I can't help but play the piano, I wonder if you can hear me wherever you are, who knows if I can lead you to me, if I can convey you what I don't know and if you want to give me some answers.
If I could go back, Astamon, I'd save you from your cruel fate, although with my weak hands I could do so little and maybe you'll laugh at me, but at least I can see your smile again. And it is foolish to think so, but it seemed so real that it is painful to believe it was really yours. Despite the pain Quartzmon caused to you, you cared to soothe mine.
And I was so blind, that I didn't realize it.
Forgive me, forgive me … Astamon …
Ps: So sorry for my english Q^Q I hope you like it, Astamon's thing leave me so confused Q.Q