Tromedlov and the Pillar of Storge
Chapter One: The Return of DOOM
Lightning flashed. The Muggles of DOOM sat in their headquarters, waiting. Wait..? Waiting? The Muggles of DOOM never wait! People wait for he MoDs! Waiting for 6 hours too! What were they thinking?
The doors opened, and Tromedlov entered, dragging a dead body along with him. No, it was not Ron. Not Harry either. After several deep breaths, he found the courage to say:
"Today, we are honoring the loss of a very important past Muggle of DOOM: Mr. Very Cool Special Train Driver Sir. Leaving us just a few years ago, he was killed by the wizards, not the owls as everyone thinks. Another reason that MUGGLES RULE! I shall now resume all the posts he had ever had, just because I said so. That's what 'cool' means."
Meanwhile, back home, Hermione was crying over her two dead friends. Every once in a while, Hedwig would slam into her head hooting happily about the death of her owner.
"Hoot, hoot, the boy is dead!" Hedwig hooted once again, slamming into Hermione.
"Thanks," Hermione said, for a headache really does cheer a sad person up.
50 miles from there, a cry of "Avada Kedavra" was heard. Professor Argus Filch was dead. Mrs. Norris started meowing the "boy/man is dead" song.
No cats or owls were harmed in the making of this chapter.