Disclaimer: Nothing, except the plot, belongs to me.

A/N: My first completed one-shot this year. It's a pretty angsty Tim/Lyla, and I'm not sure it makes a lot of sense, but I felt I had to write this. It's post-episode 4.06.


The Sun Goes Down but We Remain

I: Fear

It's not that she doesn't love him. Lyla does. Lyla loves Tim, always has in some degree and that's what scares her. She knows that if she were to return to Dillon again, paying that bus ticket and leaving everything behind, she'd probably stay for good. And that scares her too. It's not what she wants for herself; she wants to discover the secrets of life, explore its immensity, she wants to be able to breathe fresh, unpolluted air somewhere far away, doesn't want to be stifled by her small hometown. She wants more for herself, and if she were return, she's not sure she'd take that leap. Lyla fears the pull her hometown, Tim, her memories has on her, it scares her to death and she often wonders if she'll ever be strong enough to resist it.

When she graduates, she's as happy as can be and that's when she finally feels free. She'll travel on and if she was meant to end up in Dillon, if she was meant to be with Tim, she will one day. But not today.

II: Eternity

Tim wonders, as he watches her leave everything behind once again, if this is the way things will always be between them. Saying goodbye, saying hello, a path of self-destruction, because really, if that's the way things will be, they'll only be tearing themselves apart over and over again. He wonders if they will ever be able to resist each other, if it'll be impossible to stay away. He knows he would damn sure not be able to resist her, but she's resolute on leaving it all behind, and that fact right there tears at his insides. He's in for… well, ever, but she will just keep leaving and he wonders if the next time she appears, she'll stay and he's kind of hoping she will, but Tim knows better, always has. She won't come back.

III: Hope

Her hope is that she can one day look at him and feel relief, heart not aching, and butterflies dormant in her belly. Her wish is to be able to look at him without wanting him to kiss her tenderly or run his hands through her hair, down her arms. Lyla wants to let go, hopes to let go, but ten years later, she still melts when his eyes meet hers by sheer coincidence. She always hoped to let go, but it was never quite worth it. Now she's just hoping Tim's available for coffee, 'cause damn do they have a lot to catch up on.

IV: Feel

He didn't know it was possible, but with her return, he's begun to feel what he never thought he'd feel again. The desperation to be close to her, the ache that is love, always being too far away to touch. Tim doesn't say much and neither does Lyla, they just drink their coffees and occasionally, their eyes meet and his heart skips a beat, which is unacceptable because he's a grown ass man. He can't ignore it; the flames he thought he'd never feel again are alive, one gust of wind was all it took and that fire is now well underway. Turns out that fire had never really died out. Lyla smiles when he asks her to tell him what he's missed; and she talks, recounts her path in life, and he's feeling joyful, surprised but also worried. Tim's worried that the second he blinks, she'll be gone, because he can swear he's dreaming.

V: Sorrow

The sorrow comes much later in life, when they both regret their many decisions they've made, angry at themselves for all the years they could've had and didn't.

The sorrow comes when twilight is settling in their lives, nature following its course and everything catches up with them; memories, moments, the inevitable. They're sad because they've said so many goodbyes and they're not sure it was ever worth it in the end; they could have been together but they weren't. But they had their time, even if it wasn't a lifetime, and they loved and they lived, and that has to be enough, they think silently, that will be enough as they share their final kiss.

That final heartbeat pounds softly and night settles, as tears gather in sorrowful eyes.

Finis