Where My Life Begins

Summary: Itachi's and Sasuke's parents died when Sasuke was little, and Itachi is left alone to care for his brother. The love grows between them, but it's not always easy.
AU, forget the ordinary Uchiha massacre. ItaSasu.

"Nii-san! I'm going off to school!" a raven-haired boy shouted on his way through the door.

"Take care, otouto. After school, we'll go to the tomato farm as I promised."

"Thanks, aniki." Sasuke smiled, as he left the house. His nii-san was the best.

He headed to school and met his friends Neji, Kiba and Shino. Happily he told them that he would go to the village's big tomato farm later. Itachi had promised that, as a late birthday present.

Sasuke knew he was lucky to have such a brother. Itachi had always been there for him, as long as he could remember. They shared many memories, both good and bad. And they had always been together – Sasuke couldn't remember a life without Itachi.

Itachi had always been sure to protect and take care of his younger brother. Although Sasuke sometimes wondered why they didn't live with their parents, as the other kids in school did, he was happy.

The older of the two was at home, waiting for his brother to come home. Itachi was eighteen now, he had dropped out of school to take care of Sasuke. Sometimes he did minor jobs for the Akatsuki, but it wasn't really necessary because of the heritage their parents had left them.

And soon Itachi's little angel was home again, exclaimed "Nii-san!" happily and glomped him. Itachi hugged him tightly back, like always. "Welcome home, otouto." He took Sasuke's hand as they walked to the big farm. When they walked through the streets, everything felt perfect. It felt as the sun always shone on them when they were together, no matter the weather.

Soon they arrived, and Sasuke could finally munch eagerly on the red, juicy tomatoes he got. How Sasuke loved tomatoes… Itachi smiled tenderly as he watched his brother. Sasuke beamed with joy, eagerly ate his favorite food. The others at the farm smiled at the young boy's enthusiasm. Oh, how cute he was when he ran around happily, rummaging through the plants in a blissful daze. Sasuke held Itachi's whole heart in just one of his hands, that strong was his love.

Itachi sat on a bench and watched him, smiling. After hours for the elder – but he didn't mind as long as his brother was happy – but only minutes for Sasuke, he gestured towards him. Sasuke jumped over to him, a slight frown on his face."What, nii-san? I want to eat more…" the younger begged.

Itachi chuckled and gently poked his forehead. "Don't you want to save some for the others, otouto?"

Sasuke's reaction when he realized that they weren't alone was totally adorable. He pouted childishly, his cheeks still rosy from the earlier joy, and Itachi couldn't take his eyes off that perfect face, that soft lips… He suddenly felt tempted to kiss him… not the usual way, on the forehead or his nose. He wanted so bad to kiss his baby brother's lips.

How could Sasuke be so beautiful?

"What are you looking at, nii-san?" Sasuke wondered, noticing the elder's stare.

"You…" Itachi mumbled, spellbound by his brother's beauty. Then he awoke from his trance and adopted a neutral face, but his eyes stayed tender. "We should go home now, otouto. You have homework, don't you?"
It was just an excuse, though. If they had stayed as they were now, he would most likely give in and just kiss him breathless.

Sasuke's pout returned. "But nii-saaan… okay then. But only if you help me with it."
He seemed distracted; of course Itachi would always help him with whatever he asked for. What was Sasuke thinking about?

Itachi hid his surprise. "Of course, otouto", he smiled and took his brother's hand again. "Nii-san, promise that we go here soon again!" Sasuke chattered happily as they walked home.

.

Where did Itachi Uchiha's life begin?

Rather precise the day Sasuke was born. The years before that were nothing, noting of importance to him. Everything became clear that day. When he saw his little brother for the first time, everything changed.

But mostly, life changed a day ten years ago. Itachi remembered his parents in their last breaths, when his mother gave him Sasuke. He held the baby close to him.

"Promise me, Itachi. Protect him, when we aren't here", their mother whispered. And, with a smile in her pale face, she died beside her husband. And, what remained of the family was the nine-year-old Itachi, with his little brother in his arms. Things would never be the same.

Sasuke was only two years old at that time, but he realized that something had happened. But Itachi's presence was all that mattered then.

A distant relative that had managed to survive stayed with them until Itachi was twelve. But during and after that time, the brothers cared for but one thing – each other. Itachi remembered - the day after their parents death, he laid Sasuke down in his new crib, saw the little, helpless creature sleep in peace. Little Sasuke wasn't afraid though he wondered where his parents were. He knew that his nii-san was there for him.

What would Itachi do without his little brother? Sasuke was everything, everything and he had to be protected no matter what.

With that thought in mind, Itachi went to sleep in his bed next to the crib. Outside the bedroom window seasons shifted - autumn and summer, spring and winter flashed past. Still Sasuke was everything. Still he slept in the same way, still Itachi leaned over him in the same way, stroked his forehead while he watched the younger drift off to sleep. Sasuke was a flash of light, that cut right into Itachi's heart and remained through everything.

Already back then, when they just had lost their parents and Itachi held his little brother against his chest, told him that everything was going to be okay, he knew.

He knew that they were meant to be, now or in the future.
Themselves could create the world they needed.

Yes, were did Itachi Uchiha's life begin? Where did his love begin?

It began with everything. When Sasuke buried his face against his neck and mumbled "I love you nii-san" for the first time, or when they fell asleep together at night. That was the beginning.

.

"Nii-san", Sasuke said when they were approaching their home. "You don't need to hold my hand, I'm not a child anymore and I promise that I won't be run over by a car…" Sasuke was embarrassed because of the other children on the street, but Itachi knew that his otouto actually enjoyed it. He just chuckled and kept his grip around Sasuke's hand. "You're just twelve, otouto. I don't think that you're too old", Itachi smiled.

When they were home, Sasuke asked: "Nii-san, can we watch a movie together? It feels like it's ages since we last did that."

"Don't you have homework to do, otouto?" Itachi reminded and put a arm around Sasuke's waist in a affectionate hug. This kind of brotherly touches were common for them. If it only could be more, Itachi thought.

"Shit…" Sasuke muttered. "But I'm almost done with it… can't I do it later, please?" He looked up happily at Itachi with his famous puppy-eyes. He knew that his brother would do whatever he asked for if he did that.

And…
"Alright, otouto", Itachi gave in, already felt his heart begin to melt. "Pick a movie."

They ended up watching Titanic since Sasuke was in a really cheesy mood. Itachi was amused but let his little brother have his way, like always. They huddled together on the couch, Sasuke sat in Itachi's lap like always. The elder wrapped his arms around him.

It became harder to stay focused on anything that wasn't Sasuke – his scent, his skin, his whole body – as the hours passed. Itachi always felt his attention be dragged back to the younger. He nuzzled his face in his little brother's soft hair, overwhelmed by his love for him.

He wished that he could tell Sasuke that he not only loved him infinitely – that he was in love with him as well. But he knew that it was wrong. Itachi didn't know how his brother would react. And he just couldn't risk Sasuke's love by telling him how he really felt. It was better to wait… and hope that it would disappear. This need, yearn, craving, for his younger brother.

But somewhere deep inside him, Itachi knew that his feelings would never disappear.

When the movie was over, Itachi began to make dinner while Sasuke went upstairs to finish his homework. He rummaged through his messy room for twenty minutes in search for a usable pencil until he decided to borrow one from his brother.

When he entered Itachi's perfectly cleaned room, he noticed that something was really off. It took him some seconds before he could figure out what it was.

Was the world going to end? A wrinkled paper lay on the floor, in Uchiha Itachi's room. Never once in his life, Sasuke had seen even the slightest mess in Itachi's room – he was a perfectionist, indeed.

Sasuke couldn't help it, he was suddenly very curious about the wrinkled paper. It looked like a page of a notebook that had been crumbled and thrown away. He picked it up. He had no idea that Itachi was writing private notes…

What could his brother been writing that he couldn't share with him? Itachi always used to talk with Sasuke if he was upset or sad about something, though often it was the other way around.

It couldn't hurt anybody to take a peek, right? Sasuke slowly opened the wrinkled piece of paper. He gasped in surprise. What on earth…? When he read his brother's perfectly typed letters, he felt as if he was thrown into another dimension.

Is it wrong? Is it wrong, the way I feel?

I know I shouldn't do this... I shouldn't feel this panic when I see him grow up, knowing that soon he'll choose a girl and be happy, without me

I don't know why I can't even think straight when he's around.

His words repeat themselves in my head when I see him walk to school

His facial expressions are imprinted on my mind all the time

I just can't stop thinking about him

I don't know why I never can feel satisfied

Why nothing is enough for me

This is wrong, but I still want it.

A hug, a gentle kiss on his cheek - it's so little

I want more

Why can't I?

Months are passing, and my desire, my longing, my heart ache keeps growing

Why can't he simply be mine?

I don't care what people are saying, what they think about us

I will protect him from them

Because he is my brother

And I want him so much.

I hold his hand, I want to do more

I want to squeeze him tight

Feel his lips against mine, commit the ultimate sin

Feel us together, as one

Lying beneath me, look into my eyes

I want him to only be with me

For all future

Sasuke stared at the piece of paper. His hands began to tremble.

He couldn't understand why he felt a chill, at the same time a heat inside of him when he read Itachi's words, why his abdominal muscles tightened at the words "commit the ultimate sin."

He had never guessed that his aniki felt like this. This naked confession, this hurricane of longing and emotions, was so unusual for Itachi. And why had he thrown it away?

.

"You're very quiet, otouto", Itachi remarked as they ate dinner. "Are you feeling okay?"

Sasuke flinched, felt his cheeks start to heat. Words from the note he found earlier surfaced his mind: I want him so much. Embarrassed, he looked up to not make Itachi suspicious. "I'm fine, 'm just tired…" he mumbled, flustered.

Itachi didn't look convinced. Sasuke cursed himself when he felt his blush increasing. ...Feel his lips against mine, lying beneath me. Dammit! He had to stop thinking about it before Itachi found out!

Itachi eyed him, puzzled. What was his little brother thinking about? Sasuke looked down in his lap, tried to avoid his brother's wondering gaze.

"Sasuke… your cheeks are practically burning. Do you have a fever?" Itachi asked, concerned.

"I'm fine, nii-san", Sasuke repeated, tried to sound defiant. "I'm tired, I think I shall go to bed now. Thanks for dinner."

Sasuke stood up, tried to ignore his brother's worried gaze, and wondered at the same time why he felt so confused.
He had left the note in his brother's room exactly as he found it, but he knew it was very hard to deceive his prodigy to brother. Itachi might found out…

Do I feel the same about nii-san? Sasuke wondered as he walked into the bathroom, getting ready for bed. All his life, he used to know exactly what he was feeling. But now… now he wasn't sure anymore. What if he was in love with his own brother? Oh, God...

Itachi's written words had awakened feelings and realizations within him… feelings he never thought he could have. Things like desire and need.

Suddenly feeling sad, Sasuke went to his room and crawled into his bed.

Nii-san… I don't know anymore… It feels like… I love you. More... than a brother should.

Sasuke curled up to a ball under the covers, tried to clear his feelings. Suddenly a soft hand gently stroked his hair. It felt so comforting, and Sasuke restrained the urge to cry. He shyly peeked his head out from the covers and met Itachi's warm gaze.

Itachi leaned down close to him, like he always did, gave him a warm and comforting hug. He kept the body contact some extra seconds, giving Sasuke a gentle kiss on the forehead. Sasuke could feel how his whole body tensed up at the touch.

"Goodnight, otouto", Itachi whispered. Sasuke relaxed, smiled at his big brother. Itachi always made him feel so safe, so loved. "Goodnight, nii-san."

Itachi bent down again, kissing his nose affectionately before straightening up. Sasuke could feel himself drifting off to sleep, to a place where his nii-san already was waiting for him, in the land of sweet dreams.

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Author's note: Reviews are very appreciated and helps me update faster! Please tell me what you think!