A/N: Based off a manga called "watashitachi no shiawase na jikan". First chaptered fic on this site please review and favourite :)
People always said third time's a charm. The first time was very haste, he dug the knife in deep, releasing the blood unto the floor, the warmth of his own blood enveloped his knee, giving him a strange satisfaction. He wanted to wait there on the floor till he bled out, but he didn't think it through, he didn't check his surroundings. Before he knew it, his unlocked door was burst open and in a blink, he was sitting in a hospital bed. The second time it was poison. He bought it at the nearest drug store and was too dumb to check the labels properly. The liquid he swallowed slowly that night ended up being too weak. All he got was a week full of vomit. The third time he had done it, it was out of frustration. He was drunk and was tired of even failing at committing suicide. He stood on top of bridge, screaming until his voice began to grow hoarse. Ready to tip over and fall over the edge he closed his eyes only to have arms pulling him from behind, lifting him off the bridge and unto the ground.
Cass definitely disagrees, third time is not a charm.
"Three times?! Three times and you still can't get it right? You can't even kill yourself properly Castiel, what are you really worth for?" his mother shrieked at him.
Not lifting his head from the book he was reading Castiel mumbles, "Don't worry next time I'll get it right."
"Huh that's what you always say. You say you hate your life, that you rather rot in hell then live one more second with me. Well if that's true Castiel why aren't pulling out a gun and shooting yourself in the head now. Maybe you're just a coward."
Castiel gently puts his book down in his lap and looks at his mom dead in the eye, "Or maybe I'm just waiting to shoot a hole through your head first and then put one in mine."
His mother scoffs, "Oh please Castiel there is no one you hate more than yourself and there is no one I hate more than you. So please if you are going to kill yourself, don't lag, do the job I should have done the minute you were born, hell I think I should have done it before that. Should have destroyed you before you entered this freaking world and destroyed my life."
With that his mother exited his sorry excuse for a room, slamming the already brittle door behind her, shaking the tiny house they live in.
Castiel picks up the book unfazed by the words he already heard plenty through his entire life.
That night Castiel get's told by one of the church boys to visit the church. He waits at the far side of the room till service is over. He stands there for a while as people clear the room, his eyes wearily eyeing the huge cross at the center of the church.
"Castiel."
Castiel turns towards the direction of the soft voice, and his mouth almost turns into a smile, almost. A nun with a smile too bright but eyes too tired and worn out from years of watching an unkind world, walks towards him.
"Sister Ellen." Castiel greets back.
Sister Ellen stand in front of Castiel and sighs. "I heard about the bridge."
Castiel looks away.
"Castiel Novak I did not help bring you into this world for you to any take yourself out of it."
Castiel sighs tiredly, "I didn't ask you to help bring me into this world you know."
Sister Ellen crosses her arms, "We are not having this conversation for the third time."
"Good." Castiel agrees, "Why have you called for me to come tonight?"
"I have a favor to ask of you Castiel."
Castiel raises his eyebrows.
"As you know I have been a chaplain for a few decades now. I have been visiting convicts and there's a particular one, prisoner no. 1024, a convict on a death tow, that I have been sending letters to. I keep sending him letters but he wont… he won't meet with me."
Castiel crosses his arms, "So, not everyone wants to meet with a nun and remove their sins. Don't gain more wrinkles over this Sister Ellen."
Ellen gives Castiel a stern look, "He reminds me of you."
Castiel freezes.
"That man had attempted to commit suicide multiple times just like you. Help me reach out to him, help me help him."
Castiel had to everything in his power to stop himself from laughing, "You have got to be joking, I can't even get my life to be straight and you want me to fix someone else's."
"It will help you both."
Castiel shakes his head.
"Castiel Novak for all the things I have done for you-" Sister Ellen begins to stay.
"No, you are not giving me the guilt trip."
"After cleaning your wounds every time you get hurt by that careless mother of yours, not calling child services because you begged me not to, giving you-"
"You are a nun that's part of your job description!"
"the money that was supposed to be for the church. Making me commit the sin of stealing. Need me continue Mr. Novak."'
"For a nun, you are extremely wicked you know that."
Ellen smiles softly, "You will come."
Even though it wasn't a questions Castiel nods, "What did the man do though, to receive a death sentence?"
Sister Ellen gives him one last stern look, "That does not matter. Meet me at 9:30 sharp tomorrow."
"You are late."
"No, the bus was late therefore I was late."
"Hurry up Castiel our appointment had already started."
Halfheartedly Castiel follows the nun, mumbling about how bright the sun was this morning.
"Sister Ellen." A man with a beard larger than his face greets them, his face was solemn as though somebody died, though with the setting they were in, it wouldn't be surprising if that was actually the case.
"Sorry for my tardiness Bobby."
"It's fine. Who is the scrawny one next to you?"
"His name is Castiel." Ellen says before Castiel can say anything, "He is a part of our church group."
Castiel scoffs at the lie, like he would ever be part of a church group.
Bobby takes one good look at him, "Castiel huh? Like the angel?"
Castiel raises his eyebrows, impressed, a lot of people thought his name was strange but not a lot of people knew where it came from.
Sister Ellen grins, "I named him you know, after my favorite angel."
Castiel rolls his eyes.
"Well, "Bobby says sighing, "Dean would sure be interested that a scrawny guy named after an angel came."
"What, he agreed to see me?" Sister Ellen asks, ecstatic.
"Yeah for some reason. Let me lead you to the visiting room."
Ellen grins happily as she hurriedly walks after Bobby and Castiel stiffly follows.