Disclaimer – I do not own the Twilight characters they go to Stephenie Meyers and the one shot is inspired by the song God's Will by Martina McBride
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and
He Didn't Have to Be by Brad Paisley
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GOD'S WILL
I pulled one box after another from my truck, carrying them into the tattered one bedroom house that I returned to in the small town of La Push. I have no idea why I was here, when I left the day after I graduated high school I swore I would never be back. Yet, here I am.
Once darkness filled the sky, I flicked on the porch light even though I knew the terrain well. There was a large oak tree with dry brown leaves scattered everywhere and the house looked almost haunted from years of neglect. It seems that someone had placed several pumpkins along the narrow walkway leading to the mail box at the curb. I wasn't sure why, all the pumpkins were rotten with green mold coming down the side.
I could see the traditional jostling of the curtains across the street and knew that someone was watching me go back and forth from my truck to inside the house. Behind the curtain I could see a small little head with auburn brown hair. I decided to ignore it and carry on, I had spent the last ten years running and decided to come home and face my demons.
I didn't even know what day it was until the door bell rang. With a sigh I got out of my leather recliner and walked to the front door. It had been a long day of unpacking and wondering what I was doing moving all this crap from one place to the next. I opened the front door and there stood the same kid that I noticed through the window directly across the street. He was in a large orange trash sack with leaves taped to the front and spilling out the arms and neck hole.
I opened my mouth to say something and felt like my words were stuck in my throat as I saw the white braces over his oddly bent legs.
"Trwick or Twreat?" The boy said, breaking me from my stare.
"What?" I questioned.
"I sory, mistor," he said slurring his words. I didn't know much about kids, but he seemed to be about 6 or 7 and I knew that his speech wasn't normal for his age.
"Um, give me a second," I said and smiled before turning around back inside the house. There was a candy bar that I had purchased at a gas station earlier today that I didn't eat, so I thought I would give it to him.
I had left the door open, but a gust of wind passed through and sucked the door back, slamming it closed. It was loud and the noise caused me to jump inside and I heard him yelp and then the sound of his braces falling on the hard cement.
"Oh crap," I mumbled and instantly forgot about the candy and sprinted back to the door. There in a crumpled heap was the little boy and running up between the small hedges that was on either side of the porch was a woman that I could only assume was his mother based on the murderous glare she was giving me.
"Are you alright?" I crouched in the now open door way and started to lift him.
"Don't you dare touch him!" She hissed and I could tell that she wanted to yell, but didn't due not wanting to scare her son.
"I'm sorry, it was an accident." I stammered.
"You slammed the door in his face, that is hardly an accident." She continued to glare as she straightened his braced legs in order for him to be able to stand.
"No, no, Mummma," he smiled at me. "He's nice."
I smiled and took hold of his other shoulder and together we got him to his feet.
I wanted to say something, but I felt like every time I opened my mouth her eyes would turn to challenging slits and so I decided to say nothing.
"Come on, Will," she got the little boy on his feet.
He hobbled carefully as he turned himself back around. "It twis nice to met you." He smiled at me and his face glowed like the sun.
I nodded my head. "Same to you, Will, take care."
His mother looked at me, shaking her head and directed her son to the next neighbor's house.
I went back inside completely convinced that this place was cursed and nothing would ever go well for me. There in the middle of the floor sat the candy bar that I was trying to get. In frustration, I slammed the light off outside, then I ate the candy, and went to bed.
(* * * * )
The next several weeks I focused on painting every room in the house and without meaning to I started to notice Will everyday that he got off the school bus. He would see me through the window and wave before going into his house and several hours later his mother arrived. I hated the idea that he was there by himself, but I didn't really feel like it was my place to say anything. I moved to the outside and the red paint was badly pealed and faded from years and years of neglect.
"Hello, Mistor," I heard Will say as I was painting.
"Hello, you may call me Jake, if you would like." I told him.
"Jawke," he smiled.
"How was school?" I asked.
"Fine," he looked down and limped a little closer to my house. I had a liter of Root Beer and box of chocolate chip cookies on the front porch that I saw his eyes dart to.
"Help yourself," I nodded my head to them. He took a few more wobbly steps, then reached one hand down to the step, and gave an awkward plop on the step next to the cookies.
He munched quietly and I continued to paint, and for the next week I left a box of cookies on my front porch and Will joined me each afternoon for a snack. Sometimes he would talk about school, I learned he was in the first grade and seemed to have one friend that he would talk about. One day I noticed him gobble two cookies really quickly.
"Are you hungry, Will?" I didn't mind him eating a few cookies each day, but if he was actually hungry I knew it would be better to have some real food.
"Yes, Jawke."
"Let's go inside." I got down off my ladder and put my supplies away as I waited for him to straighten his own legs and prepared to stand up. He wobbled for just a second and corrected himself before moving to the door.
"Thawnk you," he said.
"Well, lets see what the food options are before you start thanking me. I haven't really taken the time to stock much of anything." I moved into the kitchen and he followed right behind me.
It was an open floor plan so that the kitchen looked into the living room.
"No, not fwor the fwood," he said, shaking his head.
"Then what for?" I asked, getting the bread out of the pantry.
"For not trweating me like a baby."
I smiled. "Well, you're not a baby. And I know nothing about babies, so I wouldn't know how to treat you if you were."
"Mummas always so careful."
"I'm sure that she just worries about you."
All I could find was peanut butter, no jelly, and some cheddar cheese. Given those options Will selected grilled cheese so I made the sandwiches quickly as he told me about his mother. She was a single mom that often had to work overtime to make ends meet. I cautiously asked if he had any other family and he just shrugged his shoulders.
"Here you go, Will," I said, handing him his plate.
He folded his hands over the plate in his lap and closed his eyes. "Dear God, pwleas blwess Mumma, Mrs. Brwown, Mr. C, my best friends Jwake and Pawl, and . . ." There was a long stream of names of people I didn't know, but he never once mentioned himself even though his mother and myself were both mentioned a couple times. I wasn't sure if I had ever been prayed for before and when he finished there was a long pause before he looked up at me.
"Are you gonna, pwray?" He asked.
"Uh, um, no."
"Mawybe next, time." He lifted his now cold sandwich and began to eat.
Talking to Will was always a lengthy process, he would take a long time to think about what he wanted to say and then it would take even longer for him to say it. Sometimes I couldn't understand a slurred word and I felt bad for asking him to repeat himself.
"Mumma, calls me her maracle," he told me when there was a long pause.
"Why?" I knew that I had my own personal issues with God, but I didn't know what He had to do with Will.
Will shrugged. "I guess 'cause I was born earlies."
I nodded my head not sure what else to say. "Do you believe that you are a miracle?"
"Yes, God loves me."
I couldn't help the small smile that graced my face. I had given up on God and felt certain that He had given up on me. However, I wasn't going to take away the peace that Will's faith gave him. For all I knew maybe Will really was God's.
We settled into the living room and I found a random cartoon that Will seemed familiar with. He would laugh loudly and his hips would twitch randomly. I knew that I had my own problems, but somehow watching this boy who seemed to have every reason to be bitter, but wasn't, brought some perspective to my life. Maybe, just maybe, Will was the reason that I came back to the place that I dreaded the most.
An hour later there was a frantic pounding on the door. I quickly walked to the door and opened it. The entryway opened directly into the living room and without a word to me Will's mother stormed into the house and dropped to her knees beside the couch that Will was sitting on.
"Oh my gosh, Will! I came home and you were nowhere to be found. I have been searching over half the block looking for you."
"Mumma..." Will interrupted.
"Don't you ever do that to me again!" His mother continued, clutching him tightly to her chest.
"Sorrwy," his head hung low.
I instantly felt like defending him, until for the second time his mother glared at me.
"Ms . . ." I suddenly didn't know what to call her. I never heard Will's last name, and calling her 'Mumma' probably wouldn't go over well right now.
"Swan, Bella Swan." She answered, however her glare did not soften.
"It's nice to meet you, I'm Jacob, Jacob Black. I apologize for making you nervous, Will and I lost track of time."
It seemed that as she started to relax she noticed the plate with the crust left from his sandwich and a plastic cup with soda in it. "You fed him?" She said, surprised. Now that her eyes relaxed I could see that her eyes were a beautiful shade of chocolate brown and I realized that Will must have gotten his green eyes from his father.
"Yes, I hope that isn't a problem. We normally have soda and a few cookies on the front porch, but he seemed very hungry today."
"Will, honey . . ." Bella shook her head as she got off the floor and sat next to him on the couch. "Did you not eat your lunch?"
Will shook his head 'no'.
"Why not, sweetheart?"
"I dropped it and it rolled down the hill where I couldn't get to it." Will said as big fat tears began to roll down his face.
Bella wrapped him in her arms and instantly I wanted to do the same, but instead I stayed glued in place.
After several minutes, when Will lifted himself from his mother, his eyes were dry however his nose sniffled and I saw Bella wipe her cheek with her hand. I had one box of tissues, it got pretty beat up in the move but I figured it would work and walked towards them with it in hand. Bella took two for herself and handed one more to Will.
"Thank you, God," I heard her mumble softly, giving Will another tight squeeze. She took Will's elbow to help him to stand, I nodded my head to show that I heard as they walked together towards the door.
"You take care, little man." I patted Will on the back and his big smile beamed up at me.
I saw appreciation in Bella's eyes for a moment before a black pickup truck pulled up in front of their house and her eyes darted to the window.
"I need to go, I'm late." Bella whispered.
Will looked out the window. "Ahh, Mumma, not again." Will complained.
"It is only our second date, I'll have him meet you next time."
"Then he'll rwun. . ." Will looked down and it was the first time I really saw him frown.
"Maybe not. . ." Bella gave him a small hug and then they opened the door.
"Thank you, Mr. Black."
"Any time, and please, call me Jake."
( * * * * )
Slowly winter came and went, bringing spring and leaving the end of Summer. I spent all my time fixing the house, which included replacing all the windows and polishing and sanding the woods floors. The roof sprung a leak in late May, so I decided to replace that as well. By now the house looked completely brand new and there wasn't much left for me to do. Also Will would be starting school again next week. He had become my main helper, handing me tools or getting me a drink of water. Whatever I could think of to make him feel useful. I'm not sure if his slurring has improved or I have gotten used to it.
I only saw Bella through the window as she walked Will across the street from her house to my yard, then she would go to work or some evenings a random date. I didn't know that you could fall in love with someone through a pane of glass, but as I saw the same guy's blue Ford Explorer I knew that it was true. She has been dating him consistently for the past month, each time she would meet him outside and this was the first time that he went to the front door.
I always wondered if he even knew about Will. I knew that I was being nosy to watch and wait for the door to open across the street, but I couldn't make myself move. The door opened and I saw Will standing in front of the door, the man took several big steps back and it felt like my heart split into two as Will's smile dissolved and his eyes looked down.
Slowly, Will lifted his eyes to the man's face. "Mumma, will be rwight owut."
"Tell her I can't make it," he said, shaking his head.
Bella stood behind Will. "James, please, wait." I heard the pleading in her voice.
"You should have told me." He said taking several steps backwards towards his truck.
Bella came around Will and kissed his cheek. "Mommy will be right back. Why don't you go finish your snack, it looks like I will be staying home."
I saw Will's shadow hobble away as Bella closed the front door.
"I'm sorry, you are right." She licked her lips before the bottom one got stuck between her teeth.
"Were you ever going to tell me?" He yelled.
Bella looked back towards the house. "Please, don't yell. I'm so tired of this . . ."
I walked away from the window feeling furious with this jerk of a guy that didn't even want to get to know Will and even more furious at Bella for hiding her son.
I heard the roar of his engine as he drove away and was taking my trash to the curb when I heard Bella crying on the front porch steps of her house. I knew that it wasn't my business but I wanted it to be, so I walked across the quiet street and sat down next to her.
"You probably think I'm a terrible mother," she cried.
"No. A terrible mother could never have raised such an awesome little boy."
Bella burst into sobs and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her head to my chest. She cried and cried, more than I thought it was possible for a grown person to cry and I rubbed her back and shoulders.
After my shirt was ruined from her tears and streaked with make up, Bella began to pull herself together.
"I'm so sorry. I don't know where that came from." She wiped her eyes and nose in a very unlady like gesture.
"No problem." I said. "It can't be easy doing what you do by yourself."
"It is not. But I still thank God, every day for Will. You know the doctors told me that he wouldn't live to be a teenager."
I heard myself gasp. "Oh Bella, there isn't anything that you can do?"
"I pray . . ." She took a deep breath, releasing it with a sigh. "He has cerebral palsy and I was told to take him home and love him. That is it! I refuse to believe that is all that can be done, therefore we are on a waiting list for a specialty doctor in California. So we'll see."
A single tear slipped down her cheek and I caught it with the back of my hand. "I'm sorry, Bella, I just don't know what to say."
"It is alright. You know, Will talks about you all the time." She smiled.
I smiled in return. "I think about him a lot. He has been fun to have around this summer."
"Thank you so much, I don't know what I would have done if you weren't here to watch him. And what you have done to that house is amazing, it was in sad shape before you got to it."
I cringed thinking about how neglected this house was. It has always been my home.
"You know they say that the family that lived there all died."
"Yeah . . . not quite all of them." I mumbled softly.
Bella turned and took my hand. "It looks like I'm not the only one with issues."
"No," I whispered softly and stood up, dropping her hand. I walked back across the street, shutting the door behind me. I knew that I was still running away, but I still wasn't ready to talk about it. I wasn't ready to tell her that I came home, to that house, after my high school graduation to find my father's lifeless body hanging inside his bathroom.
I once had the perfect family, two parents that loved each other more than life itself. I was seven years old when they found out that they would be having twins. I knew that they were happy, but I didn't understand at the time how badly they were wanting another baby and the two miscarriages that proceeded the birth of my two sisters. Rachel came first and was so tiny and cute and Rebecca came next and immediately they were concerned. She was so much smaller than her sister and in the next few years as Rachel began to talk and walk, Rebecca stayed the same.
My parents began to fight over what types of therapy and treatments would be best for Rebecca and Rachel didn't understand. Rebecca started in a wheelchair, then braces, and after years and years of therapy was able to walk with the help of a walker. As Rebecca got better and better some of the stress eased off of Mom and Dad and I was so glad to have my loving parents again. However tragedy struck one month before my high school graduation.
I walked away from the accident with cuts and bruises, which was declared a miracle by everyone but me and Dad. For me it was a curse. What made me so damn special? For Dad, I seemed to be a walking, breathing reminder of everything that he lost. So I ran. I stuffed my backpack with some clothes, what money I had on me and just drove until I ran out of gas outside of Seattle. I spent the next year living on the streets, doing things I would never tell another soul, filled with hatred not letting anyone get close to me.
While at a homeless shelter a persistent old man tried to help, giving me clean clothes and finally a new place to call home. I went to college and got extremely lucky, moving up the corporate ladder at an extremely fast rate. I had received notices for years that they were going to tear down my family's home if I didn't come and fix it up. It was the promise to that kind, dying old man that brought me back.
( * * * * )
Three weeks after talking to Bella on her front porch, I was racking leaves into a huge pile. Will had a hand held shovel and was scooping the leaves slowly into a large trash sack. A cold front blew in over night and I could tell that Will was stiff as he tried to move around.
"Come on, Buddy, let's go inside. I'm pretty sure I have some hot chocolate that we can make."
His lips quivered, and I felt bad for not noticing that he was so cold. "Ssssoounds, gwreattt."
I came and walked next to him and I wanted so badly to pick him up as he struggled with the first step of the front porch, but have learned to let him do it himself.
"Will, why didn't you tell me you were so cold? We could have stopped, or I could have walked across the street for your jacket." I asked as we were finally in the kitchen.
"My jacket is pawck up."
"Packed? What on earth for?" I filled the tea kettle with water and placed it on the burner to boil.
"Taking a trwip to Cal... Calwif... Calwifonia."
"California?" I couldn't believe that Bella would move with Will without saying anything to me. It is not like she needed my permission, but I thought that there was a connection that wasn't only to Will. I thought that there might be something in the way that she would smile and wave to me from across the street. In the way that I was aware of every move that she made and I thought she was aware of what I did as well.
"When do you leave?" I asked as the loud whistle of the tea pot brought me out of my rambled thoughts.
"Tomorrow morwning."
I made his hot chocolate and didn't really feel like drinking my own. He sat at the kitchen table, while I sat completely lost in my own thoughts as Will colored. I was always amazed at how well he could draw and had bought stacks of construction paper for him.
Bella came and got Will that evening when she got off work, and I could hardly look at her because I didn't want her to see how much them leaving was upsetting me. I didn't eat dinner that night, just sat in front of the TV but didn't really see or hear anything. I must have fallen asleep because I woke up still on the couch and walked over to the window. I could see the exhaust from Bella's car as she loaded Will into his seat.
As I turned towards the kitchen I saw the pictures that Will had drawn. There were two houses on either side of the paper and in his messy scrawl he wrote, Me, God, and Mommy Loves YOU.
With shaking hands I lifted the paper from the kitchen table and instantly sprinted out the door. Four tires were rolling away as I slammed into the side of the car and I heard Bella scream inside. She slammed on the break and I threw her car door open, thrusting the drawing at her.
"Is this true?" I asked desperately. "Because Bella, I love you, and Will, and I don't want you to go." She looked back and forth between me and the paper completely speechless. "I know that me loving you may not make any sense at all, but I know that it is true."
"Jake . . .?" Bella blinked her eyes repeatedly and a single tear slide down her cheek.
I brushed my hand across her cheek, just like the last time I saw her cry. "Please, give me a chance. I don't really know how to be a father, but I would like to. Whatever is in store for Will, with treatment or whatever, I want to be there. Please." I knew that I was rambling and even worse begging, but I didn't care.
"Jake, we aren't moving." Bella finally said.
"You're not?" I looked at her confused.
"No, the doctor in California just wants to meet with us. If we are approved then it will be another six months before we would go."
I don't know if it was the relief of stress, but suddenly I found myself kissing her. There was a soft gasp of surprise before her smooth soft lips pressed back against my own. She was still buckled into her car and I was hunched awkwardly inside with both hands, cupping her cheeks. One of her hands landed on my shoulder next to my neck and slowly I pealed my lips from hers, resting my forehead against hers.
"Sorry, that was . . ." I tried to speak, but couldn't find the right words.
"Perfect." Bella smiled as tiny tears rolled down her cheeks. "Thank you."
"This feels kind of backwards, but can I ask you out." I laughed. "Jeez, how junior high does that sound?"
Bella laughed. "Yes, I would like that very much."
I looked in the back seat and saw Will smiling brightly. "So what do you say, Will, can I date your mom?"
"Yes, I have pwray for you to be my daddy."
I smiled. "Well lets not jump the gun, but how about a date to Chuck E Cheese, and you can come along." I winked at him and he beamed, his eyes sparkling.
"So, I'll see you in . . ." suddenly I really didn't know how long they were going to be gone for.
"Three days, we will be gone for the weekend." Bella filled in for me.
"Well then, I will see you then." I gave her another light kiss and leaned out of her car so that they could get going.
"I'll be looking forward to it." Bella smiled.
"Me too," Will added.
I stepped back and watched them drive away and took a deep breath, thinking about how my life was about to change. A bright orange trash bag rolled across my yard, in it's wake leaves scattered behind it. I had to smile as I thought about how it all started, almost one year ago. Late one night, Will stood on my front porch dressed as a bag of leaves.
"Thank you, God," I said, looking up into the sky.