Disclaimer: Characters contained within do not belong to me.

Author's Notes: Well, I failed. I wanted to put out a post-ep for every ep this season, but things got out of whack when I picked going to the midnight show of Harry Potter over my goal back in November. I suck:( I hope you still enjoy this little piece, though. I imagine that in two weeks, when we meet Mama Grissom, I'll be writing a lot more;)

In Absentia

by Kristen Elizabeth

It is wise to remember that you are one of those ones who can be fooled some of the time. - Laurence J. Peter

"I can't believe this. I was gone for a week!" Sara picked up a slice of pizza from the box that had just been delivered to Nick's condo. "How did Greg manage to have an entire tragic romance in the space of a week?"

"Actually, it was more like four days," Nick corrected her around a mouthful of cheese and dough. "You gotta stop disappearing on us, Sar."

She glared at him as she chewed. "Seriously," she said a minute later. "Is he okay?"

The doorbell chimed just then. Nick stood up and plucked a beer from what was left of the six-pack. "Let's find out."

Greg had no appetite for the pizza Nick had promised him via text message, but he didn't hesitate to take the beer that his friend offered the second he opened the door. "Thanks," Greg muttered.

By the time they made it to the kitchen, Greg had already drained half the can. When he saw Sara sitting at the counter, he nearly choked.

"Hey, Greg," she greeted him with a sympathetic smile. "Nick didn't tell you I was back?"

"No, he didn't." And clearly he would pay for it later. "How's Grissom?"

Sara lifted her shoulder. "Busy. Happy. The usual." She exchanged a glance with Nick. "So...what's new?"

"I'm sure you already know." Greg took the barstool next to hers and raised his beer to his lips. But after a few seconds had passed and he still hadn't taken a sip, he lowered it to the counter. "I got played for a sucker by a gorgeous woman."

"Happens to the best of us," Nick chimed in.

"You saw through her pretty quick," Greg reminded him.

Nick shook his head. "She wasn't shaking her peaches in my face. If she had been, who knows what I would've done."

"She picked me, Nick." He took an angry swig of beer. "You were there in the layout room, too, but I was the one she decided would fall for the act. And she was right." He swallowed. "I'm an idiot."

"Hey." Sara poked his shoulder. "Quit that."

"Just the facts, ma'am."

She arched an eyebrow at him. "If you're an idiot and Gil hand-picked you straight out of college to work at his lab, then what are you trying to say about my husband's judgement?"

"Sorry," he said before draining his beer. "Not a dis on the Gris, I swear."

"Greg, really, if anyone's to blame here, it's me," Nick said. "I pushed you into getting her number."

Sara put a friendly arm around Greg. "Yeah. Let's blame Nick. It'll be fun."

The corners of his lips twitched like he might just manage a smile, but the flicker of amusement was short-lived. "I really thought she liked me," he murmured.

"Oh, Greg." Unable to think of anything to say that wouldn't sound trite, Sara simply squeezed him tighter until she was able to come up with the right words. "She wasn't worthy. You deserve a lot better than a glorified stripper."

"Well, that's good," Greg said dully. "Because I wouldn't want to end up with a beautiful woman who likes to get naked."

Nick clapped a hand on Greg's other shoulder. "You'll find one someday," he promised.

"Who hasn't killed three innocent people to avenge a seventy year-old crime," Sara added.

Greg snorted. "Yeah. Someday."

"Have some pizza," Sara told him. "It does wonders for self-pity. Trust me. Not that you're not entitled to throw yourself a pity-party," she went on after catching Nick's eye. "But you can't let this one crazy chick make you feel worthless forever. And if you do, after I pull a few strings and get her the biggest, butchest cell mate in the women's penetentiary, I will kick your ass seven ways from Sunday. Got it?"

This time, he did manage to smile just a bit. "Got it."

She pointed a finger at him. "You are cute and sweet and smart and kind. And no matter what they tell you about bad boys, women love a man like that. It's just a matter of time before you find the right one."

"Maybe you should leave town again, Sar," Nick suggested. "Everything seems to happen when you're away."

"Nick misses me so much," Sara confessed in a low voice, leaning closer to Greg. "Should I remind him that I'm happily married?"

Greg reached for a slice of pizza. "Always works for me." He paused before he started eating. "When you say cute...do you mean teen idol cute or untrained puppy cute? I'll need to know for my eHarmony profile."

"You don't need the internet," Sara told him. "Come spend a few days with me the next time I visit Gil. There's enough eligible women in the entomology department to make even me nervous."

"Bug girls," Nick nodded. "Maybe not as hot as burlesque dancers, but probably better for a man's health."

"Yeah," Greg agreed. He was just about to reach for a second slice, when he stopped. "Thanks, you two. This was better than drinks with Catherine."

"Wait...Catherine asked you out for a drink?" Sara spread her arms in defeat. "That settles it," she declared. "I am never leaving again!"

Fin