*mashes tropes together* you will WORK

"Excuse me, Sire! We've news from the patrol!"

"Yeah, what's up?" the King said carelessly, glancing from where he lay upside-down on some cushions. His advisors practically ran the kingdom for him, much to their chagrin, and had been careful in using the state's money in such a way that there was enough left over for cushy decorations in the palace.

The guard who had spoken brushed some blonde hair aside, momentarily revealing a curled eyebrow asymmetrical to his other one. "Vivi and I found a suspicious-looking guy on the beach," he explained. "He was unclothed and unconscious."

"Did you bring him in?" the King asked, turning himself over so he lay on his stomach. He frowned and blew some hair out of his eyes—no matter how much he tried to comb it, it stuck up in all directions by midday.

"Yeah—yes," the guard said. "Nurse Chopper was taking care of him when I left. But that's not the only thing—"

"What, what?"

"Well—you know your tattoo?"

"Birthmark," the King corrected. In reality, the bold colors, details, and smooth borders of the image on the back of his neck looked nothing like the usual dark splotch of a typical birthmark but the work of a professional artist.

"Sure—he has the same one."

Now the King stood. "What?"

"It looks exactly like yours, in the same place, too."

"Can I see him?"

"You'll have to ask Chopper."

The King was already pushing past the guard and heading for the infirmary, where the court jester and minstrel stood guard.

"Hi," the jester said, grinning. He made eyeglasses with his fingers and held them over the King's face, nearly poking him with his long nose. "My, what big eyes you have, Sire!"

"Hi, Usopp," the King said, grinning. "Hi, Brook. Can I go in there yet?"

"Ah, Mister Sanji must have told you of the situation," Brook the minstrel remarked. He was thin as a skeleton with hair thick as a bush.

"Aw, Luffy, You don't want to hang out with us?" Usopp asked, looking hurt. "But if one of our trio should ever depart—"

"—Then the others would languish and die!" Brook finished, miming stabbing his chest and throwing his head back dramatically.

"Well, sure, but I also wanna see this mystery guy," Luffy said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You'll have to wait anyway," Brook said. He strummed his lute. "For Mister Chopper has told us, should we interrupt, he'll have Miss Nami box our ears!"

"Chopper said he'll come out when it's okay to visit," Usopp added, flicking a bell on his hat. "And that includes you, Sire, unless you'd rather face a thrashing."

Luffy pouted. "Boo. Speaking of patients, how's Franky?"

"Mister Chopper mentioned he'll be well by tomorrow," Brook announced.

Luffy grinned again. "Great! So Sanji can go back to cooking!"

"It was only for one day," Usopp pointed out, leaning on Luffy like an armrest. "And poor Sanji ended up juggling the duties of chef and guard alike—"

"Then why didn't you help him?"

"Me?! I'm just a jester, fit for jokes and stories! What could I do?!"

"All your stories seem to have the same hero, Mister Usopp," Brook pointed out, strumming his lute again. "The strong, handsome man, with the oddly long nose, will save the village from destruction—"

"The last one had a totally different guy," Usopp argued as they all sat down. "His nose was exactly three inches shorter than mine."

Luffy measured his nose with his fingers. "That's not much," he announced.

"I'm hurt!"

The door opened and someone very short walked out, wearing a medical gown. His nose, too, was unusual, tinged with blue at the tip.

"You can visit if you—Sire, hi!" he squeaked in surprise. "Did Sanji tell you?"

"Yeah," Luffy said, standing. "Can I see him, Chopper?"

"Of course!"

"Thanks! You're the best!"

Luffy hurried inside, ignoring Chopper's vehement denial of his praise.

"Ah, I will inform our royal advisors," Brook said, standing. "Pardon me!"

He hurried off.

Luffy stopped just inside the door, shutting it behind him. A man sat on the bed; his hair was the color of algae and hung a little longer than he would've liked, and his features were chiseled from stone. Chopper had given him underwear. When he looked up at Luffy, Luffy saw the eyes of a fighter, and he couldn't help but grin.

"Hey," he said, pulling up a chair.

"Hey," the man said after a moment. His voice was deep.

"Who're you?"

"Shouldn't you give your name first?"

"I'm Luffy."

The man looked at him again. "The King? That doctor mentioned . . ."

"That's me." Luffy grinned and drummed his feet on the floor. "So who're you?"

"Zoro."

"Zoro." Luffy tilted his head. "Sanji said he and Vivi found you on the beach."

"I've already told everything I know to that doctor," Zoro muttered.

"Well, now you get to tell me. Come on."

Zoro sighed. "There was a storm last night. The waters threw me ashore and I suppose I lost consciousness. I woke up in here."

"Swimming at night? Oh, so you're an idiot. But, more importantly—can I see your neck?"

"What for?" Zoro said, a little defensively.

"Lemme see."

Zoro turned away, shifting so his back was to Luffy, and Luffy brushed some hair aside to examine the mark.

True to Sanji's word, it was exactly like his own: A yellow straw hat with a red ribbon, just above a Japanese katana with a white and gold handle.

"Zoro?"

"It's a birthmark."

Luffy's grin grew wider. "Yep. So's mine."

"What?"

Luffy turned around, and Zoro moved himself so he could look. His eyes widened when he saw the identical mark on Luffy's neck.

"This is pretty mysterious, huh?" Luffy continued, spinning back around with shining eyes. "I mean, I'm pretty sure I'd remember if I met someone like you before."

"And I think I'd remember meeting the King," Zoro said in dazed assent.

Luffy looked at the floor, tapping his feet.

"Zoro," he said, "where do you live?"

"Nowhere."

"Perfect. Wanna stay here for a while?"

Zoro frowned. "What for?"

"Well, see, I have a really smart court," Luffy explained, waving his hands about, "especially Robin, one of my advisors—I'll bet there's some reason for these weird birthmarks, right? So would you like to stay here until we get this mystery figured out?"

"I . . . very well," Zoro agreed after a pause.

"Great!" Luffy jumped to his feet. "I'll let everyone know!"

Zoro was greeted with warmth at dinner that evening, which Sanji tiredly brought to the table, exhausted from having had to take guard duty earlier. He was introduced to everyone: Vivi, another guard with lovely blue ponytailed hair; Franky, a burly guard and carpenter recovering from a cold; Nami and Robin, the advisors (a redhead and a brunette respectively); and Chopper, Sanji, Brook, and Usopp.

While compliments for the dinner went round the table, Luffy turned to Robin and Nami. "Any luck?"

"Nothing so far," Nami said. Luffy had told them earlier about his and Zoro's matching marks with the request to find information on the matter.

"We'll keep looking," Robin added.

"Thanks!" Luffy turned to the group at large. "So, Zoro's gonna be staying in the guest bedroom for now."

"Ah, about that," Franky said. He turned away to cough and came back looking sheepish. "That bed broke."

"What? How?" Nami snapped.

Vivi and Chopper looked away.

"I dunno," Franky said. "Meant to tell you earlier, Sire—I went in there the other day to clean and the frame was split in two."

Vivi bit her lip, concentrating on her food, and Chopper pulled his hat down over his face.

"Man, that's weird," Luffy muttered. "Maybe it was ghosts!"

"Or maybe the culprits are at this table," Robin said. "Vivi? Chopper? Do you two know anything?"

Chopper squirmed in his seat. "Um . . ."

"We broke the bed," Vivi exclaimed, ducking her head. "I'm sorry!"

"How?!" Usopp yelled.

"We were jumping on it," Chopper explained in a small voice, "and then we went to move it back into place when we were done and there was a big crack and it broke."

Luffy burst out laughing. "Oh, okay! So it wasn't ghosts! Well, it's no big deal, right?"

"Isn't it?" Vivi asked, looking up again.

"No, you didn't do it on purpose," Nami said gently. "Even if it was a little stupid."

Franky sent exasperated looks to Vivi and Chopper. "Okay, it's fine, just be careful in the future! I'll go into town for parts tomorrow, that bed needed replacing anyway."

"Ah," Luffy said while Vivi and Chopper apologized again. "So, Zoro doesn't have a bed now."

"I'll take the floor," Zoro offered.

"What? No, you'll sleep with me."

Brook choked on his drink.

"What?" Zoro exclaimed, leaning away.

"My bed's big," Luffy explained, "and I've had sleepovers in it before. Is that okay?"

"I—alright," Zoro agreed at last.

"Check him for weapons beforehand, Sire," Sanji said, a bit snidely.

"Jealous?" Usopp asked, elbowing him. "Are you jealous?"

"Jealous of who?!"

"This is nice," Luffy exclaimed, giddily bouncing on the mattress while Zoro sat awkwardly near his pillow. "It's been awhile since I slept with someone!"

"Me, too," Zoro said absently, staring at the image on Luffy's neck. "Have your advisors found anything about the birthmarks yet?"

Luffy stopped bouncing and scooted up to his pillow. "Nope," he said. "But I bet they'll find something soon!"

"I see." Zoro rubbed the back of his neck. "It's so odd . . ."

"Where're you from?"

Zoro sighed and told him.

"Whoa, that's all the way across the sea," Luffy said in wonder. "How'd you get here?"

Zoro shrugged.

"Okay." Luffy lifted his feet, pulled back the sheets, and wriggled underneath, reached over to turn off the lamp. "G'night, Zoro!"

"Oh—g'night." Zoro turned off the lamp next to him and settled down underneath the covers, wondering how long it had been since he'd slept in a bed.

Morning found the two of them tangled up in each other, and they had to spend a good minute stretching to get rid of cramps and sores.

During that day, Zoro made himself useful, helping out the others with chores and whatnot. He joined in Luffy's and Usopp's and Brook's daily mission to snatch food from the kitchen, and Sanji smacked their hands with the spatula when he caught them.

By evening, Franky had finished the new bed, and Zoro settled down in it for the night.

But the next morning, Luffy was found passed out in Zoro's bed, having sleepwalked all the way there. When this continued for several nights even after they started locking Zoro's door (leaving Luffy passed out in the hall outside), it was decided instead that Luffy's door would be locked. Even then, the next morning, they found Zoro fast asleep outside of Luffy's door, and at this point everyone gave up. From then on, Luffy and Zoro would switch off whose bed they slept in, and they always woke up with tangled limbs in odd positions.

A few days passed, and—

"Are you sure?" Zoro said.

"Yeah, we always take baths together," Luffy said, dragging him inside and stripping him. Sanji, Chopper, Brook, Usopp, and Franky were already in the huge tub.

"Because our King, our minstrel, and our nurse can't swim to save their lives," Sanji explained. "So it's easier for us all to join in to supervise them."

"And we've caught them all drowning in the tub on separate occasions," Usopp added.

"We didn't mean to!" Chopper protested, already sinking below the surface. Franky grabbed him and set him back up again.

"Miss Robin can't swim either," Brook said thoughtfully. "Mister Zoro, what about you?"

"You said you were night-swimming that time, right?" Luffy asked, grinning as he dragged Zoro to the tub and jumped in. "You must be really good!"

"I am," Zoro said. He took a deep breath and jumped in, holding onto the sides and keeping his lower half submerged.

"Bet I could beat you in a race," Sanji said, grinning.

"You couldn't," Zoro said.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah. I'm better than you."

"What's that based on? You haven't even seen me swim."

"You haven't seen me swim, either."

Sanji scowled. "Your legs look weak."

Zoro rolled his eyes. "I'm not doing this. I'm a better swimmer than all of you and that's a fact."

"What, are you part-fish or something?" Usopp exclaimed.

"The poor merman, washed ashore," Brook sang, "cursed to be a human—"

Zoro squinted at him. "How'd you know?"

"What?" the others said together.

"Nothing."

"Are you a merman?" Chopper whispered.

Zoro shrugged. "I might be."

Franky held his breath and ducked his head underwater. He came back up with wide eyes.

"Well, I've never seen a human with a tail like that," he announced.

"A tail?" Sanji said. "No way."

"Show us," Luffy exclaimed.

Zoro reluctantly lifted himself from the water and sat on the edge of the tub, revealing a long, shimmering green fish tail, complete with fins.

"Whoa," Usopp whispered as Zoro lowered himself into the water again.

"That's so cool!" Luffy yelled, grabbing Zoro by the shoulders. "That's amazing! You're a merman!"

"Half," Zoro said, batting away his hands with a shy grin. "Tail in the water, legs on land—"

"How does that even work?!" Chopper exclaimed.

"Well, fuck you, I still think I can swim faster than a fish," Sanji snapped, folding his arms grumpily.

"Quite a turn of events," Brook murmured.

"I can't even doggy-paddle, and you have a tail," Luffy said in awe. "So cool! Do you have gills?!"

"They're . . . hard to see," Zoro said, gesturing to the near-invisible slits on his neck.

"The mysteries deepen by the second," Usopp said dramatically. "Matching birthmarks of oddly specific pictures, and now a half-merman!"

"I don't see what that has to do with it," Zoro muttered.

He refused to leave the tub until everyone promised they wouldn't watch.

"So when you said you were night-swimming . . ."

"I've been living in the sea for a few years," Zoro murmured. The lights were off, and they faced each other, whispering in the dark.

"Why?"

"There was nothing for me where I used to live. I thought the sea would be more interesting, but aside from a few near-death experiences . . ."

"Cool . . . but does that mean you swam here?"

"Yeah. I was wandering, and I ended up near this shore . . ."

"You got lost."

"Don't put it like that."

"Lost."

"Anyway, that's how I ended up here."

"You're so cool." Luffy's grin lit up the darkness.

"Hm. I think you're pretty cool, too."

"Yeah, but you have a tail."

"You seem pretty fixed on that."

"It's cool!"

Days passed . . . and then weeks . . . and then months.

Life continued as normal in the palace. Luffy and Zoro consistently slept together, and often came out dressed in each other's clothes, having gotten dressed in the dark. Luffy would insist on keeping it that way, and Zoro shrugged and let it be, noticing Luffy looked good in his outfits.

Nami and Robin, even with the eventual help of the others, had gone through the entire library and found nothing pertaining to the birthmark situation. But there was no rush—no one minded Zoro having a more-or-less permanent residency in the palace.

"Zoro definitely won."

Zoro and Sanji had finally held the swimming race Sanji had been hell-bent on competing in, and he now stood dripping on the beach with a heavy scowl. Zoro got himself standing with a pleased grin.

"He won," Usopp repeated. "Zoro, that was really amazing!"

"Just you watch, I'll train until I can beat you," Sanji hissed, jabbing Zoro in the shoulder.

"Not bloody likely," Zoro said under his breath, walking to where Luffy was waving.

Sanji sat next to Usopp, pouting, and Luffy laughed and opened the picnic basket.

"That was amazing," he whispered to Zoro as everyone started to eat. "You look so pretty swimming."

"Do I?" Zoro murmured.

"Yeah." Luffy kissed his cheek without warning, and Zoro quickly swallowed his food, turning to look at him. "You're great."

Zoro leaned over and kissed his cheek in return. "You're amazing."

Luffy's grin shone from his face, and Zoro wondered just when they'd fallen in love like this.

Their changed relationship became quickly known throughout the palace—Luffy had never been very subtle, after all. The others, having already accepted Zoro's place within the palace, were almost too supportive, with Brook playing romantic music behind their backs, Sanji making food in the shape of hearts, and Vivi and Robin conspiring to give them private time during the day.

"Sire, Zoro, I have good news."

Nigh six months had passed since Zoro had arrived at the palace, and now he and Luffy, sitting with Usopp and Brook to discuss new ways of infiltrating the kitchen, looked up at Robin.

"May I speak with you in private?" she asked cordially.

"Are we not good enough, madame?!" Usopp cried.

"The horrors," Brook exclaimed, clutching his heart.

"Yeah, okay," Luffy agreed. "Be right back, guys!"

He and Zoro stood and followed Robin into the hall.

"I was in town," Robin began, "and I found a book."

Luffy bounced on his feet, waiting. Zoro shifted, leaning against the wall.

"It had some interesting information . . . on people born with identical images in the same place."

Zoro now leaned forward expectantly while Luffy grinned in excitement.

"Well?" he exclaimed.

"The legend says . . . that two or more people born with a tattoo-like mark, in the same place on their bodies . . . are destined to be together."

Luffy laughed out loud. "Oh, is that all?"

Robin and Zoro looked at him curiously.

"I mean, I already knew that even without this tattoo," Luffy explained. "So that's what it was the whole time! Thanks, Robin!"

"Carry on," Robin said in amusement, leaving.

"I guess . . ." Zoro rubbed the back of his neck. "This means . . . fate put us together, or something?"

"Don't care," Luffy announced, wrapping his arms around Zoro's shoulders. "That's not important."

Zoro picked him up, holding him to himself, and sank down against the wall.

"I wouldn't trade you for the world."

"If anyone took you from me, I'd run through a lake of fire to get you back."