Edd has always been seen as a wimp and a coward even by his closest friends. However, what if the spider incident on valentines took a VERY different turn, one that altered his destiny and the destiny of his friends FORVER. NO "yaoi" or "Yuri"
RATING: T/PG13
PAIRINGS: EddxNazz KevinxNazz EddyxNazz Hinted JohnnyxSarah
DISCLAIMER: I do not own EEnE, cramp twins, simpsons or anything else that appears or is referenced in this fic.
This story starts at the beginning of the valentines special so some scenes may be familiar so I do not mind if you want to skip a few of the earlier sentences.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Eddy rushed into the school corridors at high speeds, he, Ed and Edd had heard the Kankers arguing a few moments ago but he just shrugged it off and shouted "LETS LEARN!!!! Last one to class is a… What am I saying?" he was sincere about that question, it seemed to have been a moment when his competitiveness and Edd's compassion for education collided. He let out a grunt, consoled slightly by the fact that Kevin or Rolf were not there to tease him about it, he would rather have a detention than be heard saying that.
Edd followed close behind, "Isn't valentines day wonderful?" he said happily, he had in fact been saying basically the same thing ever since they got to school.
"As I'm sure your aware, it can be quite unnerving to express ones common feeling of allure." His expressions and movements constantly changing to match the emotion or feeling he was describing.
"Yet this holiday conquers the abreact of apprehension and allows one the opportunity to let that special someone know you care."
He walked with his eyes seemingly closed with a smile on his face for a few seconds before several hands grabbed his head keeping his mouth closed as if they were discussing something confidential. He then heard a familiar high pitched voice shout "Yucky, evil, MUSHY GIRLS DOUBLE D! The fish have chips my fine friend." he then let go of his head and he fell to the ground.
The boy named Ed then ran to his locker and opened it, allowing all manner of filth and waste to fall out, causing Eddy to laugh "Your locker stinks like…" Eddy was cut of by Ed displaying an onion to his friends.
Ed then proceeded to take a bite out of the large onion, "Girls do not like stinky breath" he stated while chewing his onion.
Edd and Eddy stood there looking repulsed as Ed reached back into what was the filthy contents of his locker and put what looked to be a bag on his head stating "Camouflage…". It was only when he got back up that they saw the bag had a face drawn on it "So girls cannot see you" he continued…
"And a Spider…" he stated showing them an old shoe box with holes poked in it with various warnings written on it. Edd then felt uneasy, it was not the kind of uneasy he had been describing moments ago, the kind you were meant to feel when you were about to go through a big stage in life, like marriage, but no, that still wasn't it, this felt more like someone would feel when you were about to go of to war. Where was this feeling coming from, and why now?
Edd was no longer looking repulsed, more concentrated on this new feeling. Eddy was still staring repulsed at Ed, the box and the pile of junk meaning he obviously didn't feel it, or at least was not giving it any thought.
"Girls hate them, Sarah said so" he continued as a rather large spider squeezed out of one of the wide air holes and crawled up to Ed's shoulder and began crawling through his jacket, obviously trying to get to his skin. Ed didn't notice until it was just beneath his "mask". "HA ha ha ha, tickly" he said before seeing the Bat at the foot of his neck, about to bite.
"SPIDER, AH GET IT OF, GET IT OF!" he shouted while running in circles as Eddy started laughing.
Ed then jumped onto a nearby sink and attempted to "wash" it of.
Edd would not watch the mammal's life be put in danger by Ed's irrational thinking, "Oh for goodness sake, your frightening the poor thing" he said while scooping the spider up in his hands and taking the eight legged creature to a nearby window, "All better" but the spider did not move, it just sat there as if too scared to move.
"ED, look what you've done! It's traumatized"
Ed just stood there looking at Edd with very little emotion, apparently his only concern was staying away from the mammalian blood sucker.
"Ed, I will not have any creatures suffer for your irrational phobias, this is just the kind of behaviour that makes humans accepting animals as living things all the more difficult, why you should be ashamed of yourself…"
Kevin was observing them discreetly from one corner, he was now hall monitor and it was his job to make sure misbehavers like this got detentions, but the time was not right he wanted to wait until at least one of them was enjoying himself at which point he would move in and ruin their fun with a detention, fortunately it seems that Eddy was the one who was enjoying himself the most, therefore it would be Eddy who he would give the detention and he would pretend to forget the others unless they started enjoying themselves or tried to stick up for Eddy. This was a great opportunity to ruin their fun and they would be less likely to try and sneak a card to Nazz if they had detentions hanging over them.
Just then Edd's pocket started jiggling and humming, he pulled a small phone-like object out and a voice came out.
"What is that?" asked Eddy as if Edd had pulled out some sort of disgusting creature.
"Oh just something that tunes into national news broadcasts, I configured it to only Ring if stories with the words "Peach Creek" came up, as well as any of our names."
"Cool, does it say anything about me?"
Edd didn't have time to respond before Eddy swiped the device from his hand and walked down the hall listening to it.
Countries all around the world have instructed citizens to seek shelter as a large meteor shower has been seen heading to earth. Mccorp and NASA have confirmed that meteors are likely to crash in Springfield: North Tacoma, Soap city: Iowa, Peach Creek: Virginia, Siberia, Shelbyville: North Tacoma, Nevada, and New York. According to the CEO of Mccorp, the meteors are not very large but are still dangerous.
"What does that have to do with me?"
"Nothing as such, Eddy. But I think we should spread the word and get everyone down to the basement."
It took a while for Kevin to process this information, but then he realized that he could not let the dorks be heroes in this. He needed to get to everyone and get them to safety (Particularly Nazz) before the Eds could.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rolf had been dropped of at school by his father, a rare occasion, he useually went to school by himself.
Admittedly Rolf hated valentines day, he didn't know why, he just did, he didn't understand why he did. Maybe it was just his fervent asexuality, asexuality was always mandated by Old Country tradition until you were 30.
They stopped outside the school when his father suddenly spoke.
"Rolf I have been meaning to say something to you for a while"
"Yes Poppa?"
"Remember when Mama told you about the families potato plantation that burned to the ground before you were born."
"Yes, go on?"
"Well, after that fire we inherited a surprisingly high life insurance."
"…"
"Your Nano did not know what a life insurance was since we were fairly isolated, but I did since I was the financial genius of the family."
"…"
"Randolph used the insurance and the money we made from the plantation to create Ruesdorf,inc named after our family."
"Hmmm, go on."
"You're Mama originally suggested to use the money to start one of those foolish modern charities, but Randolph insisted a less-foolish modern company would be more… Useful."
"Hmmm, yes good, But why would we need to associate with the cut throat like steak knives world of modern western business?"
Randolph looked VERY closely at Rolf. "You'll be answered that when you're older."
"Very well, yet Rolf fails to see the significance of telling Rolf."
"The significance is that we need more stockholders, and after 1 year of conventional school you will be home schooled and then join Randolph in running the this undertaking as a stockholder."
Randolph Ruesdorf awaited his sons reply eagerly.
Rolf took some time to process the information until he finally responded.
"If Rolf is to join you in this complicated endeavour of business and money making what is Rolf to gain."
"Well, other than the fact that it means you hold the most stock in the company next to Randolph, you will become CEO of the company in the event of Randolph's death."
"Is this some effort to bring joy to Rolf's joyless conscious in the wake of Nano's more than tragic passing?" Rolf said staring at his father inquisitively.
"Rolf, Randolph would have asked you to do this anyway, we need more stockholders and I know you will be more than capable with a little work. So, up to it?"
"Very well Poppa, Rolf agrees, this agreement is very agreeable, Yes?"
He shook hands with his father and made his way to the school. "Wait till the Kevin boy heard this" he thought excitedly "And the three haired Ed boy, Rolf can sense his jealousy already"
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edd was standing in the hall still holding the spider, starting to sweat, it was unlikely that one would hit the school, but if it did there was no telling how much damage would be caused if one hit.
"One things for sure our chances are not good if we don't stay mobile. Now put that stupid thing down and lets go." Eddy said frustratingly.
"Eddy I cant just leave it here" Edd said still holding the spider.
"Well despite what you might think of me you guys are my friends and believe it or not I am not leaving without you."
Edd looked at Eddy completely perplexed, did he just say he was not leaving without them? He didn't think in a million years that sentence would ever come from Eddy. The most opportunistic boy in the cul-de-sac had just openly made the decision to stay with his friends rather than try to save his own life? "Eddy" Edd said weekly.
"I know what your thinking sock head, but people are not always who you think they are. So are you going to get going or do we tempt fate and stand here or get people to the basement."
Kevin could hear this too, was dorky going to stick with his friends rather than risk his own life. "No way" Kevin said under his breath.
Edd kept staring at Eddy who was standing there with his arms crossed looking from Ed to Edd expecting a response.
Just then he felt a stinging pain in his hand which caused him to yelp and look down, The Spider had bit him though it was not acting aggressive but instead was shivering, holding onto Edd's skin with its tiny pincers.
"Seems that bug has become attached to you Double D, your getting better with critters every day." Eddy said with an awfully humorous tone considering the circumstances. Still keeping his arms crossed.
They then noticed Edd looking out of the window with an expression of total amazement, it was night outside, impossible it was only 10 in the morning, it couldn't possibly be night now. Then suddenly out of the sky a large fireball landed in the junkyard, the explosion simply blew away the mountains of junk that had been built up there over the years (The mountains of cul-de-sacia as Eddy once called them) sending various pieces of junk flying all over the peach creek, some of them burning.
"Cool" Ed stated, "this reminds me of the movie "school cooks from planet block: The dinner trays of death" this is the part where Zax, lord of block will begin his orbital bombardment, obliterating any organism foolish enough to venture out in the open".
"Ed, this is no time to interject your sci-fi fantasies into this situation, we need to get everyone down to the basement, but first I need to get this poor thing of my hand" he said looking at the spider holding onto him apparently in fear.
"What is wrong with it" he said
Just then he heard a faint rumble, Which seemed to be coming from the ceiling, getting louder and louder.
"Oh no we're to late."
Kevin immediately ran and found Nazz, he needed to get her down to the basement.
"Like, what's up Kevin?"
"Nazz just listen to me, get down to the basement NOW! I'm going to see if I can find anyone else."
"Kevin what's wrong?" Nazz said worriedly.
"Nazz If I don't come back, just please remember something…"
"Uh, Ok I guess"
"I love you."
Nazz just stood there perplexed as Kevin ran off down the hall, she then hurriedly made her way down to the basement as he had instructed.
Meanwhile it became obvious to Edd that he was not going to get the spider of in time without seriously hurting it.
The rumbling grew louder and louder.
"Don't you think were cutting it a little close here double D?"
"All right Eddy lets go"
Just then a meteor crashed through the roof or the corridor causing smoke to zip through the corridor.
Edd tried to run but was chased the column of smoke.
"Come on Double D, you can make it" Eddy and Ed said.
"Curse these short legs!" he said before being completely engulfed.
"DOUBLE D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Eddy was then engulfed but Ed was thrown out of a nearby window and hit a tree.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Rolf was in another floor getting stuff out of his locker which was filled with meats of all kinds and antique tools as well as black and white photos of his family and other generations of other Ruesdorfs.
He then heard heavy metal rock music and turned around to see a boy carrying a radio, constantly adjusting the volume.
"Why must you torment Rolf's ears with that infernal sound box?"
"What dude? Man, I cant hear you, been adjusting the tunes, What do guys at this place do for fun?"
Rolf then heard a rumble coming from above, "SCIELENCE, I MUST HAVE SCIELENCE!" he said lifting one of his ears to the ceiling.
"Jeezz, all right dude you don't have to be so hardcore." He said hitting the mute button.
"Rolf hears it."
"Dude you mean that rumble thing? Man it's probably just construction stuff, lighten up eh… What was your name? [finger snap] Rolf."
"You must be of different cast of the people of peach creek, yes?"
"Dude if that's like a cryptic way of saying I am new then I guess you're WOAH!!!"
The unnamed kid was looking at was apparently a demonic creature standing in the hallway.
He thought he was hallucinating until he noticed that the bizarre boy named Rolf was staring at it too.
"It must be hear to pilferer our souls! YOY!"
"Dude this is serious!"
"Now which one of you boys will become my host?" the demonic creature said.
"Dude this is not good"
"It seems my last host moved to this school before I left him, and it looks like you're my only choices right now." The demon said menacingly.
"Dude, We're going to be possessed!"
"One of you, the other I will eat" the demon said looking from one boy to another, apparently preparing to jump on one of them.
Just then a meteor smashed through the ceiling and sent smoke rushing though the corridors.
Rolf screamed and then ran down the corridor trying to outrun the smoke while the demon jumped onto the other kid.
"Where is the foolish Kevin boy when his assistance is required."
Rolf was then engulfed by the smoke.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edd's parents had dropped him of at school and had been discussing his ascending grades while driving away, he was doing well.
However Edd's father had been starting to disapprove of the company he kept. He felt that Peach Creek was a regressive 1950s-ish community with bizarre 19th century outlooks, considering the fact that several of the neighbours had referred to him as a "leftie". He decided that in a few days they would move to a more modernized place like New York.
"I know you don't want him growing up here but--"
"But what? You know this is not exactly a good place to prepare a kid for the future, and it is defiantly not a place to continue my research."
"Your not going to cure cancer tomorrow you know."
"Well I am not going to cure it here that's for sure, you did hear Arthur Johansson dint believe in global warming, and his son is friends with ours."
"So your going to ruin our sons friendship just because you don't agree with their parents opinions."
"YES, because I have never seen a town so full of deluded hicks. He is a smart boy and I do not want him to grow up to be a televangelist or something."
"And you think things would be better with him being exposed to all those teenage gangs?"
"NO I DON'T! But you know how I have always wanted him to attend Columbia university, maybe he could find it easier to join Mccorp or something if he did."
"And you didn't think he could decide?"
"Not while he is under the influence of those friends of his, and even if he wasn't I would still want him to attend."
"But--"
"He is attending Columbia U and that is my finial word on the matter." he said sternly.
"Well its not mine, one way or another we are consulting him first"
Richard sighed and said a bit more softly "You know he will just want to stay with his friends."
"Well maybe he needs a new one."
"Well what did you have in mind?" Richard asked expectantly.
"He needs a brother, Richard."
"A brother?"
"You make it sound like that is a bad idea."
"No, its just, I never thought about it."
Just then they heard a massive explosion and almost went off the road when they noticed it had suddenly gone dark and junk was falling all over the place. There was then another even louder explosion from behind them and saw a huge column of smoke coming from the school reaching all the way into the sky.
"What's happening Richard?" his wife asked in a panic.
"Something happened at the school." he said trying to hide the fact that he was panicking too.
He then drove towards the school as fast as he could.
Once the school came into view they saw that many parts were on fire and the windows were all blown out.
They then saw a fireball hit the "Peach Creek junior high" sign and skidded along the ground towards the side of their car and explode causing their car and the car they were next too to flip over.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ed was the first to wake up, he had flown out the window, apparently hitting a tree and sliding down, causing the tree to break at the area where he hit it.
He then heard the unmistakeable crying of… "SARAH!!!!!".
He then saw Sarah crying in front of what was their parents car.
"BABY SISTER!!!!!!!" Ed ran over and hugged his baby sister so she could not see what had become of their parents.
Just then the front door opened (One of them was hanging by it's hinges so it broke).
A figure wearing torn up cloths staggered out and everyone started staring at him. Many recognized him, but it couldn't be… It couldn't be Edd? He must have been only feet away from the meteor strike, yet he only seemed to have a few bumps and bruises.
"EDDWARD!!!!!!!!" his parents shouted as they ran towards him.
"Son are you all right?"
"Uh, dad I have just been hit by a meteor, What do you think?" he said and then fainted.
His father was to say the least amazed, not only did he survive, but he seemed to have suddenly lost his chivalrous attitude. He then noticed that Edd had become much more muscular, what had happened to his son? But that wasn't the half of it.
Edd then woke up a few seconds later, "Something wrong?".
"Your hat!" his mother said weakly.
"What about my… Has anyone seen a sock!" he shouted, but it was too late, everyone had already seen him without it on.
"It's not that." His mother said weakly again, handing him a broken car mirror.
He looked in it for a few seconds and screamed, the "problem" that was previously under his sock was gone, and now he had a full head of brown messy hair.
"Mom, Dad" he said, he had never used those phrases before, he always referred to them as "Mother" and "Father". "WHAT'S HAPPENED TO ME!!!!!!!!!" He shouted hugging both his parents.
"I don't know son, but were going to find out."
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kevin woke up in time to see the whole thing from the window!
"NO" he thought, whatever happened to the dork meant bad news for him.
Nazz did see something in him, there was no question of that, but now, with his suddenly improved physique and full head of hair, Kevin couldn't possibly be ready for the competition he will get now.
He thought all this while he was holding a valentines day card from Edd meant for Nazz.
"I'm going to fight you Double Dweeb, I am going to fight you till you bleed." He said under his breath ripping the card.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"ROLF? ROLF? WHERE ARE YOU?"
Randolph Ruesdorf found himself running down the now destroyed school corridors. Lockers and locker doors were spread out all over the floors.
He then heard a familiar goat-ish voice mumble something from under a locker door, he lifted it of and found the familiar blue haired boy who was his son lying unconscious shaking and shivering in fear.
"Rolf? Somebody help! Please!"
He then picked up the unconscious boy and ran to the door, he needed to get help, fast.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Edd's parents sat in the hospital room with their son.
"Is he going to be all right doctor?"
"Yes but by all rights he shouldn't be, It is beyond my comprehension that a child could survive an event like that."
"Did this happen with any of the other kids?"
"Only one, Kevin Wright he had the same minimal injuries as your son, just a few bumps and bruises. I have no idea how it happened, I will need a sample of your sons DNA, we already have samples of the Wright kids blood."
"Why?"
"If we can find out how they survived something like that we need to know."
Richard considered for a moment, "OK".
"thanks"
Richard turned to Edd "Son the doctor will need a sample of your blood, So it might--"
"Dad, I've had shots before Its no biggie." Even his voice was sounding different.
"Good boy" Richard said.
After Doctor Brooks to the sample they watched their son go to sleep. They but on their best smiles but in truth they had never been so worried, their son had change physically and apparently mentally. He knew that Mary would want him to find out what happened to their son, he was after all a scientist.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doctor Brooks had seen many things ever since his father told him to become a doctor, but he had never seen anything like this before.
He examined the sample wondering what if any answers he would find in it.
Suddenly to men in suits came into his office.
"Can I help you?" he asked still examining the sample.
"Yes I am Arturo Rodrigo from Mccorp, this here is Henry."
"Well I would be lying if I said this wasn't an honour but I must tell you that I am busy right now."
Arturo Rodrigo was bald with a grey beard and "Henry" was a very silent African American.
"We understand you admitted several victims of the meteor shower, Kevin Wright and Eddward Parke?"
"Yes, but those patients are resting right now, so you cannot see them if that's what you wanted."
"No we were just telling you that our CEO Laurie requires constant updates on their medical situation, that's all."
"Uh OK."
After they left he then thought about the samples of blood he had, he then decided he would not analyse them… Yet.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
To be continued.