Disclaimer: I own nothing.
This is a prompt done for MrsPenelopeMorgan. She wanted Savannah gone, so I'm taking care of it with this oneshot :) This one isn't a part of the series of post-episode one shots I've been doing this season; it's just a stand-alone, post-episode oneshot of "What Happens In Mecklinburg." Hope you all enjoy!
A nice, rich bottle of red wine was the best way to unwind after a long hard case. Penelope Garcia lived by that rule. She leaned back on her sofa, kicked off her heels, and took a long, drawn out gulp of her full wine glass. Closing her eyes, she breathed in deeply and savored the silence of her apartment. She loved people, she found them exhilarating and knew there were good ones out there. There were certainly more of the good guys than the unsubs that crawled around like rats in a sewer. But there were still moments when she needed time with nothing but a glass of wine to quell her anxieties from the cases.
She didn't need or want anyone in those times.
While sipping her wine, her mind started to drift in the direction of her personal life. Being the technical analyst for the country's most elite team of criminal profilers didn't leave a plethora of time for dating and an active social life, but she did have a boyfriend and still managed to have time with her best friend. Things weren't unreasonable. Her life was pretty good.
But it was only good. There was nothing giving her whole body tingles when she woke up in the morning, nor did she have someone setting her heart on fire to the point where she thought it would explode out of her chest. Sam didn't give her that, not by a long shot. He was fun and a distraction, but he wasn't the fire-in-her-belly, take-charge man she was looking for. She knew one man who might fit that description, but at that moment that man was taken. And to top it off, he didn't return the feelings. Derek didn't love her, not in the way she loved him. She was just going to have to suck it up and remember that.
In the midst of a long swallow of wine, a loud rapping sounded from her front door. Penelope's eyes snapped open, and she sat up. A flicker of annoyance coursed through her. Just what she needed: an interruption to her evening of wine and more wine. Growling under her breath with irritation, she rose to her feet. "Coming!" she called, taking another gulp of wine. Padding towards the door, she looked through the peephole and frowned. As she opened the door, she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the doorframe. An amused expression covered her face. "Hey, Hot Stuff," she said, raising her glass to him.
Derek was standing in front of her with his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket, his shoulders slumped. He looked sullen and downhearted, like he was kicked in the stomach and trying to regain his breath. Strange for him during his downtime. She cocked an eyebrow, and he looked up at her with a wounded expression.
"Hey, Baby Girl." His voice was ragged and choppy. He nodded towards the inside of her apartment. "Could - could I come in?" he asked, rubbing the back of his head.
She moved out of the way and gestured her arm forward. "Please do," she cooed, sipping more of her wine. Starting back towards her couch, she picked up her bottle of wine and held it up to him as he was closing the door. "Want some?" She tilted the half-empty wine bottle back and forth, the wine swishing noisily in the glass. "I popped it open, and just…kept drinking!" she giggled, hoping that her laughter might spark some emotion in him. However, he remained unmoving. Derek's uninterrupted silence was beginning to make her nervous. Plopping back down on her sofa, she watched as he came to sit by her side. She sighed and nudged his thigh with her foot. "Morgan, you haven't said more than ten words to me since you got here. Why're you being…weird?"
He scrunched his forehead and craned his neck backwards. It was as if he were looking to the ceiling for an answer on the way to respond. She handed over her wine glass, urging him to take it. Accepting the glass, he took a long gulp and finished off the remainder of the wine.
"Okay, I love you, you know that," Penelope said, leaning forward and tapping his nose with her index finger, "but right now you are seriously worrying me. What's wrong?"
Clearing his throat, Derek finally looked over at her directly. "I told Savannah I loved her for the first time," he blurted.
Penelope blinked several times. Her head was fairly hazy — she'd had a little too much wine — but she was able to fully process his words. Sure enough, her heart began to crumple in her chest and a withering sadness began to settle over her. Her voice was small when she spoke. "Oh." Coughing once, she leaned forward to the coffee table and picked up her bottle of wine, drinking straight from it. A small stream of wine trickled down her chin and she wiped it away hurriedly.
Emotions began swirling through her like a tornado. She moved to sit Indian-style and averted her eyes so she wouldn't have to look him in the eye while he told her about his love for Savannah. Unconsciously, tears began to burn at the back of her eyes. She didn't mean for them to, but it couldn't be helped. It was bound to have happened at some point, Derek falling in love with Savannah. Just hearing him say it aloud made it real, though. It hurt. It hurt worse than any pain she ever thought she would experience.
"Yeah," he sighed. "I told her." He puffed his cheeks out and proceeded to let out a deep exhale. "I can't believe I finally did it."
She cocked a brow. "Why do you say finally?" she asked, confused.
Derek inhaled, his eyes finding hers. His onyx eyes demanded a viewing and she couldn't find it in her to look away this time. Not yet anyway. It was possible she would have to force herself to tear her gaze away at some point. She didn't think she would be able to handle staring into his eyes once he waded deeper into how he felt. "I just never thought I would say it to someone. You know…and mean it."
She rolled her eyes and took a long gulp of her wine. Wine wasn't really doing it for her all the sudden; she felt like she needed something stronger, say….tequila? Gaping at him, she pointed out, "You have told people you love them, though."
Barking a laugh, he shook his head. "Did I tell someone?" he pondered aloud. "I guess it's possible."
Her voice turned frosty, freezing over with ice crystals of awkward hostility. "Yeah, Derek," she hissed. "You did." Shoving the wine bottle back towards him, she rose to her feet and went to the kitchen, muttering under her breath the whole time. She grasped the side of the counter until her knuckles turned bone white. The wine-filled evening she was planning on having was now over. Leave it to Derek to ruin her fun with talk about love.
And to make things worse, he rose from the couch to follow after her.
"Alright, Baby Girl," he said. "What's going on with you? You're acting off." He finally smiled. "I figure you would be happy for me about this."
She looked up from the counter. Her lips pursed together in a tight line. Folding her arms over her chest, she scrutinized him. His lips were tilted up in a nervous smile and he was leaning on the other side of the counter, looking at her with concern. Part of her wanted to beat her fists against his chest until he bruised. The other part wanted to scream at him until his ears bled. Not seeing a point in either of those, she shook her head and laughed bitterly. "What are you here for, Morgan?" she asked, her tone hard as iron.
Seeing that she was legitimately angry, the smile dropped from his face. He straightened up. "What is it?" he asked. His voice was hushed, guarded. "What's wrong?"
"Oh, nothing's wrong with me," she snapped. "Nothing at all. I'm just wondering why you decided to come here and tell me all about your big revelation to Savannah. What makes you think I care?" Her voice cut like a knife through the room.
Shock covered his face. "I - I guess I just thought you would want to know," he sputtered. "We tell each other everything."
Penelope snorted. "Yeah," she said. "We do. So you wanna know where you went wrong?" He stared at her, his expression of confusion only fueling the fire of her anger. "You coming in here and telling me you've never told anyone you love them. Because that is not true. You have told people you love them!"
Instead of staying in its state of confusion, Derek's face formed into a thundercloud. "I think I'd know if I tell any of my girlfriends if I love them, Garcia," he ground out through gritted teeth.
"Who said I was talking about girlfriends?" Her gaze was unyielding, staring straight at him in his onyx colored eyes. A small laugh escaped her throat. "You really just don't…get it." She was thankful anger and annoyance had taken over. It made her able to hide her tears would stay buried. There was no denying she was jealous along with being heartbroken. But rage was driving her compass right now, and she wasn't backing down.
He threw his hands up in exasperation. "Well obviously not!" he boomed. "What the hell don't I get?"
"You told me!" she cried. She slammed her palms down on the counter, not able to contain the rage flowing through her anymore. Words began to spill from her mouth as she ignored the complete and total surprise on his face. "You remember? Huh?" She pointed to the entry way of her bedroom where the green and blue beads hung. He didn't tear his eyes from her. "You told me you loved me right there. You brought me home from the hospital, you told me to go to bed and you told me you loved me." She paused when she choked on her voice.
Now the gut-wrenching sadness was surfacing.
"And I told you I loved you, too," she whispered. His mouth was slightly agape as he stared at her unblinking. She stared right back, her eyes freezing him in place. When two lone tears rolled down her cheeks, she set her jaw in a hard, unforgiving lock. Her voice lowered, and she sighed with a bitter . "So what makes you think I want to hear about you loving someone else?"
Derek was stone still, rooted in place in front of her. She stared at him, not averting her eyes. When he finally spoke, his voice came out thick, like his tongue was swollen and covered in sandpaper. "You - you didn't mean it that way," he protested. "You got together with Lynch."
"Because you didn't say anything afterwards," she shot back. "I thought you would at least say a word to let me know you meant it, but —"
"Oh, so we're blaming this on me only?" he snapped. "You didn't exactly let me know either. I was devastated when we got back and Rossi and Lynch had that man-to-man chat. So don't sit there and tell me I'm the one to blame for this. You could have said something; it's not just me. But no, you went and hooked up with Kevin fuckin' Lynch." He paused to rub his chin mockingly. "Tell me, if you really had meant what you said to me, why were you with the guy for four years?"
"Don't you dare!" she spat. "You know how long it took me to say the words 'I love you' to him?" She held up three fingers to try and make a point. "It took me three years! And I didn't even mean it. Now you're coming to me after, what, like three minutes? And you're telling me you love this girl?" She shook her head. "I don't wanna hear it. Spare me."
He glared at her with a ferocity she usually saw him display to unsubs only. "Do you honestly think I meant it when I told Savannah that?" His voice became dangerously low. "I told her that because JJ asked me if I wanted to end up alone. Well, I don't. I'd rather have someone I don't love and be okay, than pine after a woman who won't give me the time of day and be miserable!"
Penelope bent her head and began laughing. Her laughter made her bend over until she was clutching her gut and tears were streaming out of her eyes. She started out of the kitchen to return to the living room to get the wine. Derek merely watched her as if she were a crazy person. "What the hell are you laughing about like it's the damn funniest thing you've ever heard?" he demanded, following after her as she picked up the wine and took a chug out of the bottle. She didn't answer immediately and he hollered, "Answer me!"
Whirling to face him, she snapped, "I don't owe you any answers! I've put up with your shit for too long and stayed silent for even longer. Well I'm done! You don't get to come and gloat over the fact you've found someone who you can be content with." She rolled her eyes. "And that line about me not giving you the time of day could not be anymore loaded with bullshit. You honestly think I'm the reason something like a relationship would work with us? No, it's the fact that perfect people who look like you need a perfect Barbie to stand at their side. And everyone knows that's not me."
"So I'm shallow now?" he snapped. "Well I've got news for you, sweetheart, the only one I've ever wanted at my side is you."
Arching her brow, Penelope set the wine down and stepped closer to him. "Yeah?" she whispered, glaring at him. Maybe it was the wine rushing to her head, but she grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him even closer so that their lips were a mere few inches from each others and their noses were touching. "If you 'love' me so much, why would you come and tell me you told Savannah you love her?"
Derek stared into her eyes with a harsh desire. "Because you don't love me," he hissed, his breath warm against her lips. She shivered and her fingers tightened around the fabric of his shirt. "And if I'm going to live with second best, then I've gotta keep up appearances."
"For being a profiler, you really suck at reading behavior, eyebrows," she growled.
Then she yanked his face the few inches towards hers and kissed him. Her lips devoured his, drinking in every part of him she possibly could. He hadn't hesitated to return the passion, and soon they were wrapped in the others arms, teeth scraping and tongues meshing. Her heart was beating faster than it ever had, threatening to break out of her flesh. She felt like she was trapped in the most pleasurable sauna with the heat of Derek's warm body and scalding mouth against hers. A little squeak escaped her as his hands gripped her ass, and right after, a growl came from his lips.
"We shouldn't do this," she insisted, briefly breaking their kiss.
Separating their lips didn't stop him from kissing her neck or caressing the length of her body. "I don't care." He enveloped her within his arms and kissed her lips more fiercely, their tongues resuming their dance. After several moments, he broke the kiss and hissed, "This is perfect. You know it is."
She nodded. "Yes," she breathed. "Überly perfect." She clawed at his back and held on tighter. Everything disappeared from her brain: her boyfriend, his girlfriend, the world. She knew her kisses tasted like anger and frustration to him; there was no way they couldn't. He came to her, telling her he told someone he loved them, then blamed her for why they, the two people closest in the world, couldn't be together. It infuriated her. She wanted to hit him, to throw him out of her apartment, but she couldn't. Not when he tasted this…wonderful.
Most of all, though, she loved Derek. Penelope didn't want him going anywhere to be with anyone but her. The kisses they were trading right then were proof of just how much she needed him at her side.
Fuck Sam. Fuck Savannah. Fuck the world.
Everything needed to be about her and Derek, together and not apart.
Ripping her lips from his, she rested her forehead against his closed her eyes, breathing in deeply. She inhaled the raw and musky scent of the man in front of her. Opening her eyes, she came face to face with his onyx gaze. "Truth time," she murmured. "One hundred percent truth."
"What do you want to know?" he whispered, cupping her cheek and snaking an arm around her waist.
"Do you love Savannah? Yes or no."
He huffed. "Would I be —"
"Yes. Or. No," she repeated, sacking him gently in the arm.
Sighing in resignation, he shook his head. "No," he mumbled. "You know that."
Penelope silenced him with a look. "Do you love me? Yes or no."
Derek smiled and leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to her lips. "Yes. Hell yes."
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him once, then held him to her body, burying her head against the crook of his neck. "I'm still mad at you," she whispered, kissing the flesh of his throat.
"But you love me." He laughed and kissed the side of her head.
"Of course I do, you ego-maniac," she muttered. "I always have."
Derek chuckled deep in his throat and rocked her back and forth in his arms. "Let's stop denying it, and get on with our lives," he decided. "I'm done trying to live without you. I want us to be together, do the whole relationship thing. You're the most important woman in my life, and I'm done being with other women when the only one I want is you." He saw the amused smirk on her face and nodded with urgency. "I'm not kidding. It's never been anyone but you for me. Not Savannah, not Tamara Barnes. None of them." He kissed her again and stroked her cheek with the pad of his thumb. "Only you."
Penelope laughed, touching his face with the palm of her hand. "Only you for me, too," she purred, hugging him tightly.