I've had this one sitting on my computer for a while and decided to get it posted before life gets too busy this fall. It's just something I thought up to show how even years later our favorite couple can't help but be competitive with each other.
Freddie drug his feet into the Benson home and flopped down on the floor in front of the sofa where Sam was sitting, staring intently at a TV show.
"Dude! Get those cruddy hiking boots off this carpet. You know we spent almost a thousand bucks to have the whole place steam cleaned because your mom said there were spores and junk when she was here for Stephanie's birthday."
"Can you bust my hump later? I think I'm going to die right now." Freddie moaned and flopped his head back onto her leg.
"What's the matter, Fredlumps? Can't handle a little walk through the woods with a couple of kids?"
"It wasn't a walk, Sam. It was a fifteen mile hike." He began unlacing his boots. "And there were six of them. Thank goodness a couple of the older boys went along to help keep them in line."
"Oh, but I thought you were up to being a troop leader. 'I was a club scout' I believe those were your exact words to the other parents when you applied for the position."
"I was recruited, I didn't apply. And I was really the only parent in Matt's age group who even was eligible. Most of those other boys either don't have dads or their fathers are too busy working to spend time with their sons."
"And I'm really proud of you for that, baby." She praised. "After all, you're beyond involved in your career, too and you always take time for the kids' stuff. You've never missed a single one of Stephanie's track meets or basketball games. Even if it means going into the office at 4 am for the next week to make up for it. I just can't believe you willingly volunteered to spend so much time out in the wilderness that's all."
"I just want Matt to be able to do all the cool stuff I missed out on because my mom made me quit before I was even old enough to join real guy scouts. If it wasn't for her fear of ticks and sunburn I'd have probably earned my condor badge before I even turned fifteen."
"Yeah, but because you quit, you got into tech stuff, which led to us all doing iCarly and then we had our first kiss and then ended up dating. Who knows if you would have been a guy scout we maybe would have never even hooked up."
"You're right, Sam. Everything happens for a reason. I just think the boys have so much fun and it's a really good bonding time to have with our son. It's the kind of stuff I always wished my dad would have been around to do with me. All I ever got to do was mother-son quilting class and stuff like that."
Sam just nodded in agreement. "Speaking of your crazy mom, she's coming by after dinner. She called about two hours ago. She insists on checking both of you for ticks and looking for skin spots with her black light since you were outside for more than a half an hour."
"Great." Freddie moaned. "Well, at least she can help me find something to rub on my feet so they quit throbbing."
Sixteen year old Stephanie came into the room texting feverishly on her phone. "Hi, Daddy. How as the trip?" She bent over and kissed her dad's cheek. "David said he had a good time and he even gathered up all the leaves we need for our biology project that's due next week."
"Oh, yeah. He got along fine." Freddie replied with a smirk. "Couldn't have done it without him, really."
"Yep, the boyfriend's in good shape, but your dad thinks he's about to die." Sam added. "Seems he may have overdone it a little."
"Ugh! David is not my boyfriend." Stephanie huffed. "How many times do I have to tell you guys we're just friends."
"Keep telling yourself that, kiddo. It's what your dad and I did." Sam cracked back. "Next thing I knew, you were on the way."
"Mother!" Stephanie was shocked. "That is waaay T.M.I."
Freddie stood to take his boots over by the front door. "It's true, Steph. Denial isn't just a river in Egypt. See, I made a pun there?" Stephaiine rolled her eyes at her dad's attempt at humor.
"I thought it was in South America." Sam argued.
"That's because you slept through most of tenth grade." He smirked, dropping his boots onto the mat by the door where the family parked their footwear. "But I love you anyway."
"Nu-uh! Those cruddy things go in the garage." Sam told him, referring to his boots and pointing toward that end of the house. "So I can slip them into the trash." She mumbled under her breath. "And where exactly is our son anyway? Did you forget and leave him in the woods?"
"He's asleep in the car." Freddie replied. "I just rolled the windows down an left him go. I figured he could use the rest. I swear, I might have walked fifteen miles, but those boys must have done close to twenty with all the running back and forth they did and trying to climb trees and chiz. I got tired just watching them."
"So, what exactly is wrong with daddy? He's limping, did he get bitten by a beavecoon or something?" Stephanie whispered to her mother, all the while staring at her phone.
"Beavecoons aren't real, Steph. No matter what Uncle Spencer tries to tell you and your dad's being all whiny because his widdle feet huwt." Sam chided in a toddler voice. "You'd swear he never took a hike before. Are you sure you really were in club scouts and not ballet?"
Stephanie snickered at the thought of her dad in a tutu.
"Yes, Sam. I was a club scout and a darn good one too. I had more badges then anyone in my grade when mom made me quit. Bu - but I wasn't thirty six back then I was eleven. And we never hiked fifteen miles, maybe 2 or 3. I think I maybe had to do one five miler to get my mountain goat pin at the end of fourth grade."
Sam just looked at him funny. "Mountain goat, really?"
"God, I swear I have never made so many steps in one day. But the ride home was the worst, or should I say walking in from the car after driving for almost an hour. My feet feel like two lead-lined watermelons."
"Meh, you're just being a big baby." Sam turned up her nose. "Fifteen miles isn't that far."
"It took almost all day, Sam and it's not easy. It's why gal scouts don't do all day hikes and why there moms aren't usually involved with guy scouts." Freddie immediately knew he stepped in it as soon as the words came out of his mouth and he his wife's expression change.
"Oh, you did not just say that! Are you trying to say that men can hike further than women, that you're in better physical shape than I am?" Sam took offense as he knew she would.
"No, and you know I'm not. But it's just that fifteen miles is too long to expect a girl or a woman to walk at a time. It's really difficult, Sam."
"Well, I bet Steph and I could do it. And get done faster than you, with less complaints about hurting feet - or falling asleep in the car." She stood over him, hands on her hips.
"Oh, I don't think so." He argued, getting back to his feet, just as determined as she was. "In fact, I doubt you could do ten miles let alone fifteen."
"Sounds like it's time one of our famous bets, Benson." Sam got in his face.
"Ho, boy." Stephanie rolled her eyes as she was sitting on the one end of the sofa.
"You're on Puc, er Benson." He glared down at her. "What are the terms?"
"We go out in the woods, the same place you went today, the same course, fifteen miles. You and Matt versus Me and Steph. Whichever team gets done first wins."
"Whichever team gets done first with the least aches and pains and can stay awake the longest afterward." He added.
"Sounds good to me." She agreed, ready to go then and there. "What do you say, Steph, we can take the guys in a fifteen mile hike, right? Girls rule."
"Yeah, sure. Girls rule." The teen girl replied not even looking up from her phone before realizing what her mother was getting her into. "Wait, what? What are you talking about?"
"A fifteen mile hike. Weren't you paying attention? You and me versus your brother and nubby father. Whoever gets done first wins."
"Ah-ah, whoever gets done first with no complaints and no falling asleep on the ride home." Freddie reminded her.
"How long? Mother! It's only, like ten miles to Aunt Carly's new place and I'm certainly not walking there. That's border line insane."
"Oh, come on. You run track. How many laps do you do at basketball practice? And that's running. This is just a leisurely stroll through the woods." Sam tried to make it sound easy.
"Psh!" Freddie snarked under his breath. "Leisurely, right. Maybe if you don't want to get home before dark."
"Mom, you do know there's no bathrooms out there! And no food. You're aware of that, right. And no wi-fi signal. If my friends try to reach me and I don't respond they'll think I'm rude. I can't just go off the grid for some silly hike. I have a social life you know."
"Since when do you have to be at the beckon call of your friends. Kids today are to dependent on technology."
"Man, that's the pot calling the kettle black." Sam smirked. "You've never been more than five feet from your phone since you got the job at Pear. Or come to think of it, since I met you."
"It's true." He defended. "All you kids think you have to be in constant contact with everyone you've ever met. That's why the guy scout rule is no phones. The leader holds onto everyone's phone until it's time to go home. Unless there's an emergency or something."
"Oh, I'm sure you gave up your phone." Sam huffed again. "And you probably cured world hunger while you were at it. Oh, and did you manage to sell that beachfront land in Nebraska, too?"
"Well, I did have to keep it handy in case someone got hurt or something. I was responsible for five other kids, you know. Plus two older boys."
Sam just rolled her eyes.
The following Saturday, after 2 days of careful planning and packing supplies on the part of the male Bensons, Sam's attitude of 'just winging it' and Stephanie's indifference, the family set off for their adventure. As they pulled into the parking lot of the state forest, Freddie announced the first rule, much to the kids' dismay.
"Alright, phones off and in the bag." He held up a plastic zip-top bag and passed it to the back seat for the kids. Knowing this drill from scouts, Matt placed his phone in the bag and held it toward his big sister.
"Wait, I have to text Ashley and let her know I'm going to be tied up for a few hours." Steph said. "Do you think we'll be back by lunch time?"
"You couldn't have texted her for the last fifty minutes while we were driving out here?" Her mother asked. "And it's eight thirty, so no, I doubt we'll be back by lunchtime. Stupid, chizzy hike making me get up do frickin' early."
"Actually, I was texting David. He's all worried about me being able to do this thing. Seriously, I wish he could have come along."
"I'm sure you do." Freddie rolled his eyes. "I hope you told your boyfriend you'd be off the grid for a while. Because it's time to put the phone away. Now turn it off, Steph."
"Hhhhh! Fine." The teenager huffed. "And he's not my boyfriend. We were discussing our civics homework. I'm really leaving him with a huge project to do on his own because I'm out here playing in the woods." She finished her text and placed her phone in the bag before handing it to the front seat to Sam.
"Yeah, guys are really good for that kind of junk. Your dad used to do all those kind of reports for me when we were in school." Sam immediately handed the bag to Freddie. "Here you can carry this. You have the backpack after all."
"Put your phone in too, Sam." He handed the bag back.
"No way, Sir Nubbington." She shook her head. "Steph and I are going to get ahead of you guys and I might need my phone for an 'emergency'." She air quoted.
"Hmm, I guess you're right. If one of you got hurt you'd have to call me since we're the only ones who came prepared with a first aid kit." He agreed with a smirk.
"Hey, no fair. You two get to keep your phones but we have to give up ours." Stephanie whined.
"We just have them for emergencies." Freddie reminded her. "In fact, I came up with this new app where I can set to send everyone else's call to voice mail except your mom's. And I put the same app on her phone last evening, so neither of us will be getting any unnecessary calls."
Sam just glared at him because he did something to her phone without permission.
The two pairs began up the 'tall timber' trail, the guys each with a hiking stick, a backpack containing a first aid kit, their lunches, energy bars and plenty to drink. Stephanie carried a small bag with an extra water bottle, a candy bar and some granola mix. Sam had the water bottle she carried when she went for her morning power-walk with Carly and carried a bag of beef jerky in each of the pockets of her hoodie.
"Don't you want to bring anything to eat, Sam?" Freddie asked
"Nah, when we get back, we'll just take the car, go get some real food and be back to pick you two up. Or wait, maybe I should just make you take us out for a nice, big meal for our victory prize."
"That's right. We never figured out what the prize was." He remembered.
"Here we go." The kids said in unison under their breath and looked at each other.
"How about a nice big feast at the Golden Crab." Sam suggested. "After we go home and shower, of course. Can't go to a fancy place like that smelling like a twenty-first century Davey Boone."
"Well, if we win, um, I mean - when we win, Matt and I might want to go for a nice big steak."
"I'd rather have Chinese, Dad." The tween boy came back. "Tonight's rib night."
"You're your mother's son alright." Freddie nodded. "Whatever you want. But make it good because your mom doesn't buy often."
"See you guys back at the car." Sam chimed in. "C'mon Steph, let's go." She started to power walk ahead of the guys with her daughter in tow.
"You need to pace yourselves. Sam, you'll wear yourself out before you get five miles in the way you're going." Freddie warned.
"I power walk five miles with Carly a couple of times a week." She shouted over her shoulder. "I can handle this."
"On a paved running trail." Freddie warned her, but she was soon out of earshot. "That's almost flat. This is a path through the woods uphill most of the way."
Nearly two hours later, the Benson women came upon the 5 mile mark. They sat down to take a quick ten minute break before continuing on. As Freddie suggested, the power-walk was too much of a pace and they slowed down to a modest walk after a short distance.
Steph had some granola and a couple of sips of water while Sam devoured a whole baggie of jerky and then guzzled most of her bottle of water.
"Mom, you'd better take it easy on the water."
"Ah, I'll be fine. Once we hit the halfway point, it's all downhill from there."
"Actually, it looks like it's uphill for at least the next four miles or so according to the map we got at the trail head."
About the time they were getting up to leave, they saw the fellows approaching their position.
"About time you two got here. I was about to fall asleep." Sam teased. "Let's get on the trail, kiddo."
"Be right there, mom. You go ahead and I'll catch up." Stephanie hung back to say a couple of words to her dad.
"Dad, please tell me there's some place to get water out here. Like some kind of spring or something. Mom drank almost her whole bottle already and she's eating that dumb, salty home made beef jerky of hers."
"Well, sure there's plenty of little springs and stuff right off the trails, but you can't drink the water without purifying it. There were mines up in these mountains a century ago, the water's all full of sulfur and acid and nasty mine runoff."
"Oh, God." She sighed. "Good thing I brought two bottles, we'll just have to share. I'd better try to catch up with her." And with that the teenager was off in the direction her mother went.
"This isn't going to end well, is it, Dad?" Matt asked.
Freddie shook his head. "Not in the least, Buddy. Not in the least."
As noon approached, the girls had taken a seat on a couple of big rocks in a shady spot. With nothing other than Stephanie's granola to eat, they had a very meager lunch.
"I'm going to go down that little path to the stream and fill my water bottle, want me to take yours?" Sam asked.
"Mom, you can't drink this water, it's all gross from the mines up in the mountains."
"Psh. Those mines are way up there." Sam pointed toward the west. " This water's perfectly clear, I'm sure of it."
Sam approached the small brook and dipped her water bottle in for a fill. The water was pretty and clear, but as she raised the bottle to her face, she was hit with the overwhelming aroma of rotten eggs."
She went back to Stephanie's rock and held up her empty bottle. "Guess you were right. The water smells like something dead." Stephanie got in her bag and pulled out her extra water bottle. Sam was about to chug it, but her daughter made her think more reasonably and she took only a few sips of water even though she was sweating like a racehorse. Seems the nearly eight miles they had traversed was mostly uphill after the first half mile and despite her strong physical prowess, Sam was beginning to slow down.
"We'd better get going before the guys show up." Sam suggested.
"At least it looks like we'll soon be going down grade." The teen noted.
'If I don't die first.' Sam thought.
Meanwhile, Freddie and Matt had eaten their lunches and were about to get back to their feet. "You know, this isn't quite as hard as it was last week." The boy remarked to his dad.
"Yeah I guess we're sort of used to it, and it's not as stressful since I don't have to worry about any of your friends getting lost or hurt either. Hey, according to the notes I made last week, we only have a little over a mile and a half to go and we'll be heading downhill."
"I wonder how Steph and Mom are making out."
"I'm surprised we haven't caught up to them yet. It's a wonder your mom hasn't burnt herself out. I think I see people over on the next ridge, I think it's them." Freddie pulled out a pair of compact field glasses and verified his suspicions. "Yep, it's them, looks like they're starting back down. I hope they're alright, it looks like they're not moving too fast."
In another two hours, the guys had caught up with the girls, who were almost twelve miles into their adventure. Sam was sitting on a log, with her left shoe off, rubbing at her heel.
"You OK there, Sam?" Freddie asked.
"Yeah, just getting a bit of a blister that's all." She shrugged off the pain, not wanting to complain as part of the bet was no whining.
"Well you'd better get your shoe back on before your foot swells up or it's going to get a lot worse."
"Uh, yeah. Right." She began to replace her footwear.
"You sure you're ok, then?" He asked his wife.
"Yep. Never better."
"Alright then, we're going to keep moving, see you back at the car."
The Benson men were finally ahead of the girls for the first time all day. Sam quickly retied her shoe and they ladies got on the move with Sam's intent on catching up soon. After another mile or so, her limping made it clear that catching up would not be possible unless the guys really started to slow down.
'Man, I'm not gonna live this one down.' Sam thought to herself as she tried to walk off the pain and keep up with the teenager who was, herself, getting tired and very thirsty.
"Should we sit down, I'm afraid you're not looking too good?" Stephanie asked. "Just for a few minutes."
"Nah, keep going. I'm afraid if I stop, I won't be able to get up again." Sam replied and kept limping along, her feet feeling like they had been trampled by a rhino. "I just wish I had some water."
Meanwhile, Freddie and Matt had made their way to the fourteen mile mark and decided to take a quick break and wait for the rest of the family. After about twenty minutes, Freddie began to worry. "I thought they were just behind us, we've been sitting here for quite a while."
"Yeah, we'd better get going or we're going to cramp up." The boy was already starting to feel tired.
"No, we're going to wait for them. I have a feeling something's wrong. Tell you what, let's do some stretches against that fallen tree over there to keep our legs loosened up."
Another twenty minutes and the girls finally came into sight around the bend, still over 200 yards back.
Matt picked his field glasses out of his pocket and looked their way. "Dad, check this out, Mom's limping pretty bad."
"God, I knew it, I bet she twisted her ankle or something. I tried to tell her not to hike without a stick to keep her balance." He fussed. "C'mon, let's go back and see if he needs help."
They met up about five minutes later. "Sam, what happened? Did you sprain your ankle or something?"
"No big deal, just this silly blister on my heel. But it almost feels like I've got one on the other foot now too."
"We've still got over a mile to the car. Are you sure you'll be alright?."
"I'll make it. It's really not that bad." She tried to act all tough. "I've been through labor. Twice I might add. I think I can handle a little blister."
"Alright then, but we'd better all stick together." Sam nodded at his suggestion. Freddie wasn't moving too fast himself and this was a good excuse to not hurry.
As the group started on their way, the kids held to the back of the pack. Matt nudged is sister and offered her a drink, which she gladly accepted.
"Thanks, little man." She smiled at him quietly. "I had to share my water with Mom and we've been out for the last two hours. Plus I'm starving." The girl definitely had her mother's appetite.
He pulled an energy bar out of his backpack. "I was saving this for the ride home to help me stay awake, but it looks like you need it more than me."
"Remind me not to get involved in one of our parents' bets again." She whispered. "I feel like I'm in boot camp or something."
"Tell me about it. This is two Saturdays in a row that I've hiked this stupid trail. Nobody in scouts can believe that my dad is making me do it the second time. David said even his dad isn't that cruel and he hiked all over the United States when he was in college."
"What are you two whispering about?" Sam overheard the kids.
"Nothing, just telling Steph about something David told me at scouts the other day."
Finally the Benson's car came into view through the break in the trees and the family knew they were almost done. "Well, that's our cue." Sam made a vain attempt at getting ahead. "Let's go Stephanie. we need to get back first."
Sam was determined to win this challenge but her sore feet soon overrode her willpower. As Freddie slowly caught up to her limping form, their kids watched them and both laughed. The two literally began to lean on each other as they got within a few dozen yards of their vehicle.
"Hurry up kids." Sam called over her shoulder.
The four Bensons were walking side by side when they reached the car.
"Looks like this little contest ends in a tie." Stephanie exclaimed.
"No way." Sam argued. "We were ahead almost the whole way, if it wasn't for this stupid blister, I'd have been done an hour ago."
"Yeah right. You'd still be limping your way to the car if you hadn't been leaning on me." Freddie smirked and unlocked the car doors. "Steph's right. It's a tie. My feet still like they're going to fall off."
"So I guess Golden Crabs is out?" Stephanie asked from her seat, already turning her phone back on. "Man, I was hoping for some of those cheesy bacon and garlic biscuits."
Freddie opened the door for Sam. "Heh, yeah, not tonight, kids. Tell you what, how about we settle for a pizza tonight and think of something nice for next weekend."
"Yeah, but can we go get something to eat now?" Matt asked as he crawled into the back seat beside his sister. "We're starving."
"Yeah, my stomach thinks my throat's been cut." Steph reiterated her brother's thoughts. "Seriously, if we pass a road killed skunk, I'd strongly consider it."
"Only if we can hit a drive through for some burgers." Sam sighed as she hit her own seat. "I don't think I can walk far enough to actually go inside a restaurant. And, no offense, but I think we're all a bit sweaty and stinky. That road killed skunk has nothing on us."
That evening, as the kids were entertaining themselves with video games and TV in the family room, Sam and Freddie had taken opposite ends of the sofa and rubbed each others' feet while they waited for the delivery guy from Pizza World and their three large pies and extra large bucket of buffalo wings.
"Watch the blister there, Fredwardo."
"Man, that things huge. You sure you don't want me to drain it for you?"
"If by drain it, you mean stick it with a needle, yeah that's going to happen. Maybe then you can call your mom to come and put some of that nasty black salve on it she brought over when Matt skinned his knee at soccer last year."
"Don't remind me about that stuff, there's still a big spot on the carpet in his room from that junk. It's like tar. Even the steam cleaner people couldn't figure out how to remove it."
The doorbell rang and Freddie got up to limp his way to the front door.
"Kids. Pizza's here." Sam called down the stairs toward the family room.
Freddie paid the delivery man and all four family members slowly made their way into the dining area. He sat their food on the table and the family gathered around to grab a slice.
"This is a long way from the fancy dinner I thought we'd be having tonight, but it's great anyway." Sam announced. "Even though I have a blister the size of a small car, today was kinda fun."
Freddie nodded. "Yeah, even though I'm almost positive my feet are gonna fall off, it's still been a pretty good day. Maybe we should do more family outings like that more often."
"NO!" All three others shouted back at him.
"Never again, Fredweird." Sam glared. "Next time you want to take a hike, I'll be joining Carly for a spa day like she's always bugging me to and putting it on your credit card. And after today, I might even be up for that pedicure she keeps suggesting."