disclaimer: i don't own lost

CHAPTER ONE

--

She was so upset; her life was crumbling around her. Things seemed to go from bad to worse, she didn't know why this happened but she knew that she had to make things right.

Her mind drifted off again but when she flicked her eyes upon the road it was too late and...

Gasping for breath, Kate gripped onto the sheets beside her and she took in deep breaths. Once her eyes were accustomed to the dark of the room she looked around.

A smell of disinfectant clouded her senses; the sterile room was only lit due to the lights from the corridor that were on as her door was ajar. Her heart pounded in her chest, she had no idea where she was.

"Kate, you're finally awake!" Kate's eyes landed upon a petite blond in scrubs, by the sound of her accent she was Australian. The woman came over to the bed and wrote her vitals on her chart.

"I'm so glad you're okay now" her voice was cheery and bright, considering the fact that the clock on the wall said it was quarter to seven in the morning.

Her throat felt like sandpaper but Kate coughed the best she could then whispered "Where am i?" Claire smiled warmly and placed her hand upon Kate's "You're in the hospital, you had a little accident"

An accident, Kate looked around the room in panic, how had she managed to get into an accident?

Kate frowned "What happened to me?" she saw Claire's facial expression change from warm to concerned "You don't remember?" Kate shook her head.

"You were in a car accident, nothing major and you didn't need surgery but the doctor will need to do some tests on you" Kate nodded slowly, digesting the information.

Car accident, god, Kate tried to access the last thing she remembered but couldn't. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself down; everything seemed fine; maybe she wasn't hurt badly.

Claire blinked a few times then cleared her throat "Do you even remember me?" Kate licked her bottom lip and searched her memory. The only thing that came up was being introduced to her moments earlier "No"

Claire ran her hand over her hair in worry "Kate, we've been friends for five years... I've known you since you came in he..." Kate laughed with uncertainty and shook her head "I'm sorry... but i don't know you"

The Australian felt panic grip her; they'd been worried since she came in last night that she may have damaged her memory but they couldn't tell because she wasn't conscious.

"Kate what year is this?" Kate cocked her eyebrow at the blond, what sort of question was that? "It's 2000... Why?" Claire paled, things were as bad as they seemed.

"I'll be back in a few moments, i just have to get Dr Alpert" she made a hasty retreat from the room leaving Kate annoyed, what was going on?

What were they going to do now? She couldn't believe this had happened to Kate, she loved her like a sister and it pained her to think that all the memories they had shared were vanished.

Claire took a few steadying breaths and knocked on the door to Dr Alpert's office. After a pause she entered and looked at the older man sadly "Kate Austen is awake... and she thinks it's the year 2000"

Richard spun around in his leather chair slowly and frowned "Are you sure?" Claire nodded her voice emotional "She couldn't remember me..."

Richard got up from his seat and rubbed Claire's shoulders soothingly "Don't worry, we'll take her for some tests once her sister's here then we'll discuss what's going to happen"

Claire sighed and pulled out her cell phone and read a text "She's here now... I'll go get her" he nodded and pulled on his coat before sitting back down, waiting for them to come back.

Richard looked up at the brunette and waved to a chair "Sit down please" she did as she was told and fixed her green eyes on the doctor "What's wrong with my sister?"

Richard sighed "We're not too sure, she's not long woken up... but Claire mentioned that she thinks its the year 2000" the brunettes jaw fell slack "Are you telling me my baby sister can't remember the last eight years?"

He shrugged lightly "We'll take her for tests... but we'll do everything to make sure she can jog start her memory okay?" she stood up and shook her head "Everything wont be okay... do you realise the people she wont be able to remember?"

Richard stroked her arm soothingly; they had been friends for years "Cass I'm sorry about Kate... but you'll have to call him and let him know... he may have to come out here"

Cassidy nodded slowly, closing her eyes softly "Can I go see her?" he nodded "Yeah, come on I'll take you... we're going to have to break this to her soon"

She couldn't believe that this was happening, she didn't realise that this sort of thing could happen to people like her sister, she'd only heard of it in movies not in reality.

They both walked slowly to Kate's room and her face brightened once she saw her sister "Cass, when did you dye your hair lighter, it looks great"

Cass smiled uneasily "Uh... just last night" Kate smiled then looked at the doctor. Cassidy looked at him too and cocked her eyebrow, he wouldn't be remembered either.

"Hello Kate, I'm Doctor Alpert head of Neurology" he smiled kindly at her and shook her hand. Kate nodded then said "So, what's wrong with me?"

He bit his lip and approached the subject carefully "At the moment we're not too sure... so you'll have to go for some tests and once the results come back we can talk in more detail"

Kate smiled briefly "Okay... when are these tests going to be done?" he looked down at his blackberry and read the message that Claire had sent him then smiled "We're free to do it now... if you want too"

The brunette nodded "Sure... can Cass stay here though?" his gaze flicked to the woman standing beside him and he smiled "Of course she can... they won't take too much time"

Cassidy smiled at Kate and rubbed her arm "I'll be right here when you get back okay?" Kate nodded and then was taken away by Claire and Richard.

Cassidy picked up her cell phone and called him, she wasn't really a fan of his lately but then again she had only heard Kate's side of the story and was willing to give him a chance as he usually done the right thing.

Almost an hour later Kate was wheeled back in and looked slightly upset, Cassidy tucked some hair behind Kate's ear and sighed "What's the matter baby girl?"

Kate frowned "It's just some of the things they were asking made me feel uncomfortable and they took blood too, i hate giving blood"

The older of the two smiled sadly down and her but couldn't say anything as Doctor Alpert came in and looked through some sheets of paper he had in his hand.

"Kate... we've evaluated these results and we know why you don't seem to recall certain people that you do know... you have a condition called Retrograde Amnesia, which was caused by your accident, you hit your head pretty hard"

Kate ran her hand over her head and felt the stitches that were in her hairline, it was only a superficial wound wasn't it? Would she be able to tell if it was something more?

Kate laughed but then quietened down once she saw the serious look on the doctor's face. "So what does that mean?" Richard sighed and placed his hands on the bed frame.

"It means that you've lost the majority of your memories but there may be some 'memory islands' which means some things you may remember"

Kate frowned "will i ever be able to get them back?" Richard bit his lip "There isn't a cure but by looking at things from the missing time and by talking to people you may be able to recall those lost memories"

She nodded slowly, her voice beginning to break from all the new information they were telling her "How much time have i lost?"

"You recall the year to be 2000 but Katie... that was eight years ago" Kate held in a sob and Cassidy wrapped her arms around her, holding her tightly "Eight years?"

She looked to her sister and put her face on her shoulder and began to cry. She couldn't believe this, how could she have just lost eight years? How much had she experienced and just what did she look like now?

Cassidy stroked her hair soothingly "Kate, I'm going to try and help you get memories back as soon as possible okay?" Kate just gripped onto her shirt instead of replying.

Dr. Alpert quietly left the room to give them some space; he'd experienced families coming to terms with any type of memory loss and knew that an unwanted presence didn't make anything better.

Cassidy closed her eyes and laid her head on top of Kate's. She hoped that her sister's memory would return, they'd been through so much in the last eight years.

She knew it would be painful to go over some of the things that had happened, but Kate needed to know.

--

He placed his hand over his mouth and sighed deeply, he felt the sting of tears at the back of his eyes so he closed them to stop them from falling.

Pull yourself together, yeah. He needed too, he'd probably have to be the one to hold them all together, he was always the sensible one.

Jack ended the call and placed the cell phone back on the table, what Cass had told him made him so worried, he loved Kate like a sister.

He turned to his older brother and sighed, doing the best to keep his voice in control "Sawyer, Kate has been in an accident..." he saw Sawyers face close off, he knew that meant he was hurting.

"What happened?" his voice was husky with emotion, even after what happened he still cared about her. Jack sat on the barstool and sighed again.

"Cass said it was a car accident... she's physically okay... but there is a chance she may not remember the last eight years"

Sawyers head snapped up and he frowned "What's that now?" Jack looked at him sadly "She may have amnesia; Cass wants you to go out and help her remember"

The older of the two ran his hands over his face, this could not be happening. Jack placed his hand on his brother's shoulder "Please go out, i don't want her forgetting any of us"

Sawyer glared at his brother "I don't want her forgettin either" he flipped open his laptop and began searching for flights to Los Angeles.

Sawyer closed his eyes; he refused to say that he had feelings for her after what she had done. No matter what had happened between them he knew he had to go and see her, he did miss her.

Sawyer packed a suitcase full of the usual necessities then added some photographs and memorabilia from when they were out.

He went into the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed, looking at the beautiful blond still asleep on the bed.

He knew he had to leave her, he didn't want to but it was the right thing to do. The blond's eyes fluttered open and she grinned at Sawyer.

She crawled out from underneath the covers and sat herself on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a kiss on his cheek.

Sawyer closed his eyes and tightened his grip on her, holding her close. He blocked out what Jack had just told him and thought of nothing else other than having her close.

--

tell me what you think! x