Summary: SRIV universe: Breaking out of the Zin simulation had a lot of unintended consequences and all of them were palpable for Lexi, the boss of the Saints. She'd found herself striking back against an alien race, sleeping with a computer guru who'd tried to kill her, and somehow reuniting with the only person she felt knew her. But there was little balance to the insanity. The scales seemed to tip on her at every turn, and after rescuing Johnny, Lexi found that she was needing to rescue herself and her budding relationship with Matt Miller.

A/N: This was written to fill a prompt from the newly formed SR Kink Meme. Prompt: f!Boss / Matt Miller (SRIV) - hurt/comfort: f!Boss feels terrible for punching Matt, so after retrieving Johnny she checks up on him to make sure he's 's up to anon if they've been sleeping together beforehand or not or if the Boss's comfort includes any actual sex (I certainly wouldn't complain if it did ;D ). I'd just like a healthy portion of Boss making Matt feel better and letting him know he's one of the team/accepted. (Meme Location: . #t16967)

Disclaimer: Saint's Row belongs to THQ, Volition, and Deep Silver. I'm only playing with their universe. I do not own the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story. I do it for the love of the game, the world, and the characters; and because they stuck with me long after I turned the game off (and back on, and off, ad infinitum).

Making Amends

-1-

Seeing Johnny Gat alive again did strange things to the boss' head. Lexi rushed over, wide grin on her face, as she tightly gripped his outstretched hand. They did the normal thing, pulled each other close and patted the other's shoulder. When she stepped back she thought better of it, and wrapped both her arms around his neck and held on tightly as if he might suddenly disappear again. Screwing her eyes shut against the tears she was trying not to shed, she couldn't do anything but hold on. She had her friend back-the one person who knew her before any of it.

"It's fucking good to see you, Lexi," he said into her neck, his breath tickling her skin. It was then that she realized he was embracing her just as tightly as she was him.

She leaned back and punched him in the chest. "We thought you were dead, you fucker."

"Pretty much was, for all intents and purposes. How ya been?"His gun went up and a Zin soldier fell to the ground.

"Maybe we should wait on the reunion," Lexi opined as another armed alien rounded the corner and fell to her shot.

"Look at you with the reasonable thinking. Where the hell did you get that shit from?"

"Benjamin King," she replied with a grin as he raised his eyebrows at her.

"No shit?"

"No shit." She raised the ship and Kinzie talked her to the extract point.

Once they arrived, at the prescribed point the waiting began. The pair were standing on a dead end platform, firing at Zin as they waited. And while neither of them minded the target practice, it was kind of like old times, Lexi could see that the process of being pulled out of the Zin status was wearing on Johnny. She watched her friend as he leaned against a set of crates not far from her, he was breathing a little harder than normal and looked a little green around the gills.

It was a feeling she could sympathize with. All of them had experienced the sickness equated with being pulled out of the simulation. The only difference is that they had been under its influence for mere weeks. Johnny had been under for years.

Gat growled in frustration and spun around the crate, firing freely at the approaching aliens. "So, where's this rescue of yours?"

"Patience is a virtue Johnny." Lexi joked.

"Fuck that. A car with the engine running is a virtue," Johnny countered as he ducked into cover to let the gun recharge, then popped back out of cover to fire at the two guys charging them.

"Yes, well it's not quite that simple," Kinzie said into the radio, though only the boss could hear it.

"I know," Lexi said in an attempt to placate them both.

Within minutes, the assistance of the ship's guns announced the rescue. Johnny nodded approvingly when the bay door opened with Pierce and King standing there with rifles ready to cover them.

"Nice ride," Johnny observed as the door closed behind them.

"Thank you," Kinzie said acidly.

"The ship talks?"

"No," Lexi assured, sliding her arm around him. The motion was two-fold-selfish desire to make sure her best friend was really there and in case he needed the support. He'd never ask for it, but she could tell he was still suffering under the sickness they'd all fought against. "That's Kinzie. She stole it from the Zin. And helped me bust you out of that box."

"Hell, I liked her at stole the ship, now I might just love her."

The boss laughed lightly. "Come on, Loverboy, let's get you cleaned up."

"Fuck yeah. I'd kill for a shower. This shit is foul. Worse than jello wrestling night at Tee-N-Ay."

"Nothing was worse than that."

"Yeah, you right," Pierce agreed as he joined the two of them.

-2-

The common room was usually bustling with people, unless everyone was asleep, and even then it was still the most populated part of the ship. That morning most of the crew were hanging out watching Pierce get his butt kicked by Asha at pool, when the boss poked her head in. "Hey Johnny. How rusty are you?"

"Fuck you!"

She grinned. "Feel up for an adventure."

Gat shrugged. "Why the hell not?" When he caught up to her on the stairs, he grabbed her by the arm. "Hold up a sec. What's with the kid?"

"What kid?" She knew who he meant. But it wasn't a conversation she wanted to have at that moment-with anyone, even the one person who might understand what was going on in her head.

"Little emo guy with the lipstick."

She gnawed on the inside of her cheek. "That's Matt Miller, computer hacker and self-proclaimed cyber god," she reminded with a chuckle

"Self-proclaimed, huh? Well he fits right the hell in. But it doesn't explain why he keeps looking at me like that," Johnny advised, glancing down at the younger man who was glaring at him despite the handheld device he was manipulating in his hands.

When Lexi stepped down a few steps and peeked into the room, Matt's eyes moved to her for a moment before he stood and walked out of the room. "I don't know," she said uncertainly. If anyone would sense the lie, it was Johnny, but she lied anyway. "Maybe you intimidate him?"

"Yeah, probably. But I'm 99% sure that's not the reason. He's not looking at me with the realization that I could snap him like a twig. The look he's got is not the way people usually look at me." He paused for a moment until the boss faced him. "But I've looked at people like that. Usually when they were trying to step to Aisha." Johnny added.

Lexi took a deep breath then met his gaze, well as best she could with the damn glasses. This time she didn't try to disguise anything. He'd read the falsehood just as easily as the truth.

"So, he thinks I'm trying to muscle in on his territory?" Johnny quipped with a smirk curling his lips.

"I'm not anyone's territory," the boss replied quickly, eyes narrowing on him, before she started up the stairs.

"Yeah, whatever. If you were just fucking him, he'd be less concerned about me."

"Not necessarily."

"Why's that?" Johnny asked when they reached the top of the stairs.

"Because half the ship thought coming for you was too dangerous. A bad idea. Matt was the only one with the stones to say it and …"

The words choked her. She hated the way she'd overreacted, especially with him. Johnny had pegged it. What she and Matt were doing had long ago moved past sex, though if she were honest with herself it had never been just fucking with the sweetly awkward geek who hung out in the cargo hold.

"And?" Johnny prompted.

"I lost my temper," she bit back sharply. Her ire cooling quickly at the raised eyebrow he flashed her. Lexi dragged the fingers over her forehead, as she resigned herself to the weight of the guilt pressing on her again.

"Holy shit, Lexi," Johnny scolded.

"I jumped him, like he was some little punk. Punched him like half a dozen times," she revealed, grabbing hold of the banister tightly. "I fucked up. Lost it. And he was fucking right it was a huge risk."

She stared at the wall, it was easier than admitting it to someone's face, having to see the look in their eyes-be it disappointment or disgust or whatever adjective in that spectrum it might strike. "He was right. He was bold enough to call me out. And I beat the hell out of him for it."

"And then you broke me out anyway," Johnny added, touching her shoulder, making her look up at him again

"Only pulled it off because Kinzie and Matt and the rest of the crew. They are all fucking amazing. Getting the job done despite the sketchy shit-storm we're in." Lexi shook her head, her lips curling into an appreciative smile. "They risked it all so I could go get my friend. Because I couldn't walk away a second time, couldn't let you die on my watch again."

Johnny grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. "It worked out, Lexi."

"Yeah, this did," she said patting his chest. She swallowed at the lump in her throat. "You're here. But I screwed things up with everyone, especially Matt. He won't talk to me, barely even looks at me." She wriggled out of her friend's embrace and pushed a hand through her long hair. "Look, I can't do this right now. I've got work to do if we're going to get out of this shit. You still up for it?"

"When am I not?" Johnny replied with a smirk.

Kinzie glared at Gat a little when he entered the control room with the boss. Lexi climbed onto a little platform of the device and Johnny followed suit in one a few feet away from her. When Kensington came near his device, Johnny whispered something to her. She looked at him a little startled, but nodded. Then she crossed to the boss.

-3-

This simulation was a lot different than Johnny's and it took Gat a little while to get used to it. It felt so real, so normal, though at the same time not. But this was Steelport, not Stilwater, which left him with an additional level of unfamiliarity. All of the factors combined to Lexi's favor. Until he was comfortable, he let her slide, rather than going after her immediately.

His delay let her relax a little. And the carnage they reeked on the Zin seemed to be taking some of her edge off. Johnny watched snap the neck of the alien she had been using as a shield, then she walked over to him dragging her palms up her thighs. He knew Lexi better than anyone, the smirk told him she was almost relaxed enough that he could confront her again. So a few hours later, after she had showed him some of the more interesting sights, including another patrol that they quickly picked off, he again brought up the matter she had mentioned on the ship.

"So why did you come after me? I mean everybody figured I was rotting in the water I'm guessing."

When the boss stopped cold and the tension crept back into her shoulders, Gat thought he might be a little rusty at reading his old protégé. She had stopped walking and was staring at the wet cement. Then he noticed her chewing at her bottom lip, finally she shook her head and glanced over at him. It just never really felt like you were gone."

It must have sounded strange to her because the boss turned to him completely. She was no longer worrying at her lip, and sharpened her gaze at him trying to make him understand. Johnny just wondered how she would react if she realized that she was giving that explanation to the whole crew, if Kinzie had managed or chosen to do what he asked.

"I mean you were gone, but it didn't feel like when my brother died. It didn't feel like you were really gone, just not there. The shrinks always said I didn't accept your death, because no one found a body. So I couldn't find closure. Some psycho-babble bullshit like that."

She waved the thought away with her hand and started walking again. A mascot halted her progression, stepping left then right with her as she tried to sidestep him, so she kneed him in the groin and stepped over his writhing form. Johnny walked with her, uncertain as to how to proceed. This wasn't usually the type of conversation the two of them had. The only times they had really come close to these types of conversations were when they'd lost people: her brother, Lin, Carlos, Aisha.

"I don't know why. But from the get go, being on this ship, maybe even in the simulation, something made me think you were here," she said with a glance back at him. "I just felt it. I mean fuck. You're the only goddamn person that ever knew me. That ever got me."

"I know, Lexi." He touched her shoulder lightly.

"The last seven years have been fucking crazy." She stopped and leaned back against the cool brick wall.

"Seems like." Gat still wasn't sure how she had managed to become the President of the United States. When Pierce mentioned it, Johnny had thought it was just another of Washington's stories. But then Benjamin King backed him and that man didn't play around. "But minus the whole alien attack, it was going pretty good."

"Yeah, most days," she replied with a smirk. When she straightened again she stared at him. "Look, Johnny. I know what you're trying to get me to do, but I can't. I can't apologize for coming to get you. Yes, it was risky. Yes, they were all fucking right," she yelled at the sky as if she knew what he'd told Kinzie, and she probably did. Lexi could read Johnny just as well as he could read her. "And yes, I was an idiot for jumping Matt for calling me out, being the only one with the guts to say anything. But if we could go back I'd do it all over again. I'd go yank you out of this Zin bullshit a dozen times. I would, except for punching Matt. That I do regret."

-4-

Kinzie hadn't been sure what to think of Johnny at first. He seemed a decent sort, a lot like the boss if not a little more sociopathic, if that was even possible. But he had surprised her when he told her to try and convince everyone on the crew to witness this little trip into the simulation. After she'd put the boss in the simulation, he had told her to do whatever it took to make sure the emo kid was here for it.

In that moment, she hadn't really understood why, but when she heard the boss admit that she would not repeat her reaction to Miller's argument if she could change anything, Kensington knew she might just like having Gat around. He seemed to be able to make the boss remember that she was human, even if he was a crazy as Lexi was.

The boss ended the conversation there and everyone in the control room glanced over at the hacker, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. He shrugged sulkily and looked away from them. Matt knew the boss regretted it. She'd already apologized more than once, though he'd shut down on her after she came back to the ship with her friend. There was something between her and Gat that made him jealous, that made him wonder if it had all been an illusion.

The image flitted unbidden into his mind again: her walking up the ramp, her arm around Johnny, his arms draped over her shoulders. The smile that had been on her face was one Matt had never seen. He shook his head and took a deep breath trying to push the image of Lexi with her arm around another man, a naked other man, out of his head.

What made it worse for Miller was that other man was also her best friend. Lexi had known Johnny since they were kids-Johnny, Lexi, and Dex had terrorized the population of Public School 13 in Mission Row for at least two years before she got sent to live with an aunt out of state. Then when she joined the Saints he watched out for her, helped her out, counted on her. After she woke up, he was all she had left.

Goddamnit. Matt peeled himself off the wall and ducked out of the room when Lexi and Johnny were

ambushed by a reconnaissance party. Everyone's attention was focused on the display and he snuck out unnoticed. He didn't want to hear anymore, or at least that's what he told himself. One thing was certain, he didn't need any other reminders of just how much ground there was between he and Lexi.

Gat could see it. Her regret. Matt's interest. Why else would he have set that up? Why else would he have Kinzie deliver the threat? The cyber god really didn't care what Gat might do to him if someone revealed the hacker had abandoned the display. It stung that Miller only knew about her regret because Johnny had pried it out of her. Lexi wasn't the only one with regrets, and Matt knew there was a big difference between being sorry about something and regretting it.

He picked up the little tablet he was working on, then set it down again, knowing that with his mind so muddled he couldn't get anything done. He pressed his palms to his eyes and leaned back into the lumpy sofa. Letting his hands drop into his lap, Miller couldn't help but think that this was one of the times that he wished he was more physical so he could hit something and do it without doing more damage to himself than whatever he punched.

Then he shook his head as he remembered the look in her eyes when she lunged at him. He hadn't seen that look since the footage from the plane. In that instant it had been cast at Philippe, after he stabbed Johnny.

No. He didn't wish he was more physical. Matt wasn't sure he could handle the aftermath of losing his temper. But that was one of Miller's saving graces, he had a long fuse. And usually once his fuse was lit, it burned long, because he was a calculated man. He put great thought and consideration into his actions, usually.

Not with her, he thought. At the first hint of temptation, Matt had jumped with both feet, though he'd spent the last five years keeping his distance. He laid back on the sofa and laced his hands behind his head, remembering that he had not been the only one holding back during that time. Lexi had told him that she had been trying to avoid starting some kind of international incident. That memory made him smile involuntarily.

Long slow blinks and staring at the ceiling didn't make anything clearer. He missed her, just having her close-the warmth of her next to him, the weight of her arms around him, the way smelled, even the soft little growl she made in her sleep if he tried to move. No one would know it, and he'd never tell, but she surprised him in her consideration toward him.

Even if all she had to herself in a day were a few minutes, Lexi always gave him as much of her time as he wanted to take. Everything she did told him she cared. His smile widened, but quickly turned to a frown. It stung that the boss never told Matt how she felt. And a part of him really needed to hear it.

His mind wandered through those circles for a while before sleep overtook him, creeping up on him slowly and tainted by longing, hurt, and thoughts of the woman he cared deeply for. When he heard her breathy voice whispering his name he assumed it was his subconscious and settled deeper into the dream. The tickle of her fingertips trailed over his forehead, and the voice was closer, warmer.

"Wake up, Matthew," she said in that gentle way he only heard her use with the hacker.

His lips curled slightly, but he was still pleasurably remained in that limbo between waking and sleep. Even when she nipped his earlobe and whispered it again, he just moaned lightly and smacked his lips.

"Jesus Christ, what's a girl got to do to wake you up," she muttered from afar. After a few moments, Lexi whispered her request again this time punctuating it with a quick gentle squeeze between his legs.

That had been the clue that it wasn't a dream. And it had shocked him. Matt shot bolt upright, his forehead connecting with her nose.

"Aw, fuck me," Lexi shrilled as she rolled away from the blow and slid onto the floor.

"Oh, God. I'm sorry," Matt said leaning over her and touching her shoulder.

"You all right, playa," Ben called from the door, having heard the commotion.

"I'm good," Lexi replied, turning her head toward the open door. That's when Miller saw the blood; and Lexi noticed his eyes go wide. "It's fine, Matt. It's not broken. And it will stop bleeding … eventually."

Ben nodded and stepped out for a moment, returning rather quickly and handing her a large wet towel. He'd been there a time or two, she knew. He nodded at Matt with an approving smile. Most of the people on the ship either had a bloody nose or even a dislocated one before, including Matt, she was sure. There was no way someone as smart and egotistic about it as he was got through school without getting his ass kicked from time to time. Probably by someone like her or Johnny, she thought with a little laugh.

"Look at this. I come in here to apologize and you try to break my nose," she scoffed lightly.

Matt fidgeted a little. She seemed to be taking the injury in stride, but he was a little concerned about it. He was more worried if she was just trying to put up a brave face. "I … uh … I didn't think it was real. I thought it was a dream, until you grabbed me."

The boss leaned forward slightly and tried to swipe as much of the still free flowing blood of her hands and face as she could. Then she laid the towel over her nose and squeezed it tightly to try and encourage the clotting. "I didn't realize you were such a heavy sleeper."

"It was very vivid fantasy," he revealed with an uneasy smiles as she leaned her head back against his leg. He could tell she was smiling too when he noticed the crinkling at the corners of her eyes, it caused his own to widen slightly.

"I'm sorry, Matt. You know that right. I shouldn't have reacted like that. Not with you." Her smile was gone, and her eyes didn't leave his.

This made his expression sober quickly. "I'm sorry too," Matt echoed, calmly brushing his fingertips across her forehead. "I didn't realize precisely what he meant to you."

"I've known him since we were little kids. After my brother died, he was the only person I had left who knew me. He knows me better-" Matt looked away when she said it.

"-Than anyone. I know," he recalled with a bit of bile in his tone.

Lexi was quick on the uptake, the tinge in his voice clearly told her what he had not said. She swiped the towel across her face as she spun and knelt between his feet, leaning over him. Both her hands were on his face having dropped the towel on the floor.

"Look at me." Her tone was soft, pleading. It was clearly a request, not an order. "He's been my person for a long time. He was always there. And the last seven years have been a little tough … very tough. And extremely lonely." Lexi stroked his face. "Until some lanky cyber god wanted to learn how to shoot straight."

Her eyes searched his for a long silent moment. "I know I'm cut off. I know I'm distant. But I actually try with you Matt," she pled.

Miler pulled her hands off his chest and leaned forward. The boss sat back on her calves and looked at her hands in her lap. He grabbed her towel and swiped at the blood that had started trickling down her face again before pinching her nose and tilting her head up. He managed to meet her gaze even while directing her face to the ceiling.

"The only reason I kept meeting you for those stupid lessons were those hose with the seam up the back." The thumb of his free hand stroked her cheek, then he tugged her shoulder as he sat back. "Come'ere. Lean back," he ordered as he patted his thigh.

"Really?" she asked as she laid her head back.

"Why do you think I kept asking you to demonstrate, over and over again?"

She eyed at him narrowly.

Matt caressed her neck with alternating strokes of his long fingers. "So I guess you might just be the reason I still can't shoot worth a damn. I was … am too busy staring at your legs."

Her laugh was lighter than it had been in some time. It warmed him and made him smile. "That explains a lot," she pointed out.

"You can't blame a man for a little weakness in the face of such overwhelming temptation."

Lexi sat up, swiping the towel across her face. "Temptation, huh?" she queried, glancing over her shoulder at him.

Matt shook his head incredulously. "Like you don't know it?"

Satisfied her nose had stopped bleeding, she climbed into his lap. Lexi let her fingertips play at the base of his neck. "Like you don't know what you mean to me?"

Miller's playful smirk faded and he looked away from her for several minutes, his hand moving up and down her calf as the question ran through his mind. All he really knew was that what was happening between them was something more than just sex. He cared about her more than he really wanted to admit. Thinking about how he felt about her just stung a little more the longer their affair went on without admission or classification.

What he did know was that he wanted her-sexually, emotionally, as a friend, as more. He had wanted her since she and her team had started working missions with MI-6. It had happened gradually, caring for her had snuck up on him when he was not looking and hit him with a brick. After the Zin attacked, he let his desire drag him into something he would not have acted on before. Lexi was beautiful, smart, and had legs for days. But it wasn't until everything was gone that either of them had the nerve to start it up. Even that had been gradual, more like an accident of chemistry and timing.

-5-

The boss watched him for a long moment; the hacker wouldn't look at her. It was more of an accusation than if he had flatly called her out on her inability to tell him she felt something more than a carnal need for him. Matt was important to her, and Lexi thought he knew it. She hoped she had managed to show it, but she could tell it wasn't quite enough.

Her lips brushed his neck, and made his breath hitch. Matt didn't move, instead he continued to stare at the wall. Lexi swallowed hard, nuzzling his neck. She wriggled closer to him, her hand snaking up his chest.

"You know, you and Asha are like part of the crew. Not surprisingly, you've kind of made yourself indispensible to everyone, most especially me."

Matt shifted slightly, his hand sliding up her thigh. His blue eyes searched hers, and she knew he wanted more. Why is this so hard? She asked herself. He meant something to her. Hell, she trusted him as much as anyone in her own crew. The realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

"I … God, I'm horrible at things like this." Lexi drew her fingers across her jaw lightly. "Look, Matt. I'm not sure … No. That's wrong. That's not what I want to say." She moved a little closer, her fingertips toying at the back of his neck. "I never wanted a fling. Not with you."

"And what do you want?"

Lexi looked up at the ceiling for a minute. He wanted it all, she realized as she searched for a way to give it to him. Her gaze met his again, her blue eyes locking on his. He deserved it all, she reasoned, stroking his jaw softly as her chest tightened.

"You. I want you. As much as you're willing to let me have," Lexi breathed finally, holding his face in both her hands. "I don't know what we're doing or what's going to happen in five minutes or five months. But I'll take whatever I can get for as long as I can get it."

His lips curled slightly, which prompted her to smile. The sensation of relief was startling. His mouth fitted to her and it seemed to surprise her, but only for a moment. Matt cradled her to him tightly and laid her back onto the couch, then he managed to cover her body with his own. Usually he was content to let her take the lead, but when he asserted himself Lexi slid her leg over his hip and gripped his collar tightly. She wasn't going to contest, which would have been her usual reaction.

It was a strange feeling for her. Lexi was always in control. She was always the one with the plan. But Miller challenged her at every turn. Made her feel things and want things she never let into her world before the world was all gone. Breaking the kiss he looked down at her, determination mixed with heady desire in his bright blue eyes. He tugged the loose fitting suit down her arms. When her hands moved down his chest to copy his action, he laced her fingers in his and pressed her hands above her head as he crushed his lips to hers again.

While one hand ghosted down her arm, his mouth moved hotly down her neck. The light touch grazing her breast set her nerves alight, raising goose bumps across her skin. She felt him smile against her neck when she sighed and rolled her hips against his. It was enticing to her, not knowing what precisely would happen next, not knowing the plan but having to acquiesce to someone else's design. His gaze met hers again as he teased her breast, kneading at first, then pinching and rolling one pert nipple between his fingertips.

The cloud of desire darkening her gaze prompted his deep claiming kiss, and the thrust his tongue into her mouth elicited a contented soft moan. Her response deepened when his hand snaked between them, and Lexi's eyes fluttered as he touched her. It was one of the things she'd come to appreciate about Matt; he could type 80 words per minute and those dexterous fingers could make her writhe. She knew his typing skill really didn't coincide with precisely what he was doing to her in that moment, but it was how she thought of it.

The boss' breathing quickened as he teased her; Matt leaned over Lexi watching her reaction to his ministrations carefully. When he slipped a finger into her, she wrapped his tie around her free hand and held him close, eyes locked on his. Her mouth moved, though no words formed, while her hips moved against his hand. As pleasurable and enticing as it was, it wasn't what either of them wanted.

"Matt," she murmured against his lips as she tugged him just a little closer, finally able to form intelligible speech. Her tongue teased his lips before she sucked hard on his bottom lip, his shallow groan made her smile and release her prize.

He leaned up quickly, his impatience and fervor evident in the way he pulled at the zipper of his suit. Lexi's self control was no better. She yanked off her boots and shimmied the flight suit the rest of the way off fast enough to also help Matt out of his, though he might not have considered the playful bites at his nipples and her hand stroking his erection as particularly helpful.

His hands went to his neck to loosen the tie, but with a shake of her head the boss discouraged the movement. "Leave it on. I kind of like having something else to grab on to," she purred.

Miller groaned as his jaw tightened, his eyes locked on her. Lexi wrapped the thin strip of fabric around her hand as he kissed her, pushing her back onto the sofa. He pressed into her, slowly-moving deliberately, little by little he delved deeper until with each stroke he pulled nearly completely out of her before hilting himself again. Lexi kissed him hard, her head swimming with the realization that he'd taken note of the ways she enjoyed taking him.

Her teeth cut into his shoulder as the tension built. He hissed in response, prompting him to thrust more sharply which caused her to moan appreciatively. The change in his movements quickened her response to him and as her body tightened around him, she tugged his mouth from her breast and guided his lips back to hers. The steady stroke he'd set culminated into sharp uneven bursts as he lost himself in her climax, groaning into her mouth as his passion flowed into hers.

-6-

The kiss retained its passion, though the intensity and fervor died down a little. It became more of a tease as they laid there entangled together. The weight of her arms over his back and shoulders paired with the leg still draped over his hip, holding him there within her, atop her, made him dizzy. Matt was completely aware that this was the first time he had taken her in the truest sense of the word. He also knew just as surely that she had surrendered, that she had trusted him.

Fingertips danced on the back of his neck. He could feel the fabric of the tie still wrapped around her hand as the fingers moved in captivating little curving motions down his neck then back up into his hair. It was comforting and alluring, doubly so when combined with the lazy ethereal strokes up and down his spine. His lips moved over her shoulder and up her neck lightly in response to the attention he savored. Miller had come to crave the delicate attentions Lexi would freely lavish on him in quick moments.

For that and other reasons, the past few days had been murderous, though it had not been quite so trying as the building uncertainty. After the confrontation over Johnny Gat, he found himself desperate; he had wanted and needed to know he was not the only one invested in this, in them. He had needed to know he was more than just a convenient prick.

From that very first tentative kiss, it seemed like more. But the longer it went on he couldn't be sure if he was reading something into it, or if there really was something more. He inhaled deeply, trying to find the nerve to tell her what he'd needed to hear. The tang of raspberries from the lip balm she always wore muddled his brain for a moment.

Suddenly he realized that he'd never admitted real feelings for anyone in meat space. Somehow, it had always been easy to make declarations like this in virtual situations. But when Lexi bit him lightly on the neck, then kissed the same spot repeatedly, he was struck with an epiphany. Miller hadn't been invested in those types of relationships. They had all been tenuous, only barely real. The woman beneath him was present, fully. Even more than that, she wanted to be there, with him. And she depended on him, she trusted him.

"I want you, too," Matt whispered as he leaned over her.

Her blue eyes gleamed as she smiled up at him. She tugged at the tie which prompted him to close the scant distance between them. Their tongues danced against one another as he kissed her again, savoring the newness of the security both their admissions offered. The boss didn't leave, like she usually did after. Lexi stayed with him, in his arms-holding him, teasing him, reinforcing the admissions they both wanted to know, indulging in the desire they shared for one another.