Title: Five Gifts Jim Gave Bones To Get Into His Pants
Rating: 15
Warnings: Mild sexual innuendo's, swearing and later on some m/m lemon maybe.
Summary: Jim woo's Bones with gifts.
Disclaimer: I own nothing

5. Bourbon.

Jim has been seeing Bones in an entirely different light for the past few months, his best friend and physician was now suddenly a shiny new sexual conquest.
Jim couldn't place when this insight occurred to him; he just knew he wouldn't rest until he'd had the doctor in bed.
Flirting would have no effect what-so-ever, as everyone in San Francisco knows that Jim Kirk would flirt with anything, no matter age, gender, height or even species, Bones knew this especially after 2 years of being Jim's wingman for his pickups.
So Jim tried another strategy, and spent many nights crawling into Bones' bed naked only to get pushed out with a gruff god damnit Jim! Let me sleep, apparently Bones didn't want naked Jim and after a solid week of this (twice on some nights) Jim gave up; his ego was bruised as was his left bum cheek (Bones out right refused to take a look, to Jims dismay). So he thought about things that Bones would like and what he'd like to be done for and to him
(Jim was rather pleased with himself, his thoughts only turned R rated 3 times while considering the possibilities) What he knew of Bones was that he was divorced with a kid, he was from Georgia and he drank Bourbon like he needed it to breathe or something. So Jim deduced that buying his best friend and soon-to-be-lover a bottle of Bourbon to sweeten him up was a good plan. And Jim always had good plans. Sadly for Jim, good plans can always turn bad.

He went out and found the finest Bourbon his money could buy put on his sexiest face (the lust filled eyes and wet lips look, worked like a charm) and marched over to Bones' dorm. Only to be greeted by a thoroughly drunk and thoroughly annoyed Bones. 2 hours later Jim found himself watching his unconscious best friend face down in the carpet, this is not how it was meant to go (well not without any sex anyway) Jim had just sat through 2 of the most tense hours of his life (yes, even more tense than when he thought he'd gotten that girl knocked up and her father found out, who knew you could talk about safe sex for an afternoon straight?)
Bones had had a bad day at work and by bad he meant 2 cases of Andorian Shingles (Did I mention their eyes bleed?), 3 patients who had been in a shuttle crash with injuries ranging from a broken neck to a broken little toe,1 heavily pregnant Betazoid in false labour (She hit me when I suggested it was false labour and then screamed her god damn mouth of when I thought about telling her to calm the hell down) and an outbreak of Levodian flu amongst the first year cadets. Jim could only sympathise, and therefore allowed Bones to vent all his frustration out on him, what are friends for? With a resolute sigh, Jim heaved his passed out friend onto his bed, time for plan B he mused as he undressed Bones down to his boxers (he didn't peek down them...honest)