Oh my god.. I wrote something that doesn't even have a hint of smut. I didn't even make the love bloom between them.. no yaoi whatsoever? O_o What happened?
so anyway... this is a Gackt and Hyde fic AGAIN. But just friendship, though Gacchan may act a bit suspicious.
Obviously, I don't own both humans(?).
I hope you like it!
I don't think there is any more that I want to share.. JUST READ IT! 3 3 3
Friends can save a life…
I stumbled as I left the bar. The alcohol in my blood didn't do me any good, obviously. I would have been sprawled unceremoniously on the floor, if two strong arms didn't catch me in time. I mumbled an apology and thanked the stranger, quickly pulling myself out of his arms, embarrassed with myself. But again, the alcohol made me sway and I reached out with my arm, in the hope of steadying myself. I noticed I had gripped the door.
A voice could be heard above the rumbling noise of the bar.
"Daijobu ka?"
I had the feeling I had heard that voice somewhere before, but my drunken mind didn't try too hard to remember. I lifted my free hand to my head. Everything had started spinning. My head hurt.
"Haido?"
The familiar voice reached me again. I still hadn't found the strength to look up at the man in front of me. I doubted I would ever find it, because with every second that passed, I felt worse. Every bit of strength I had had now left me, and I all but collapsed on the floor.
The next thing I knew was that I was being carried and that I was warm. I opened my eyes for a bit and saw a flash of black, soft curling hair. My mind still couldn't register who the man was. And in an instant, unconsciousness took over again.
I awoke in a soft bed, black silk sheets draped over my body. The room was dark, for which I was glad, because my headache had gotten worse. I groaned in pain, my hand reaching up unconsciously to ruffle my dark blond hair. I was still wearing the clothes I had left in yesterday, and I felt utterly disgusting. I could feel my stomach starting to protest in hunger, since I hadn't eaten since noon yesterday, but the mere thought of food made me even more sick. I tried sitting up, but that didn't do any good either. I felt like my head was going to explode, while my stomach turned over. Groaning once more, I uttered a curse.
I suddenly realized I didn't know where I was. For all I knew, I could have been kidnapped by a black haired pervert, who had drugged and raped me. Never mind the drugging, I was drunk enough to start with.
My cursing had apparently reached the stranger's ears, because I could now hear a small knock at the door.
"Haido? Are you up? Can I come in?"
I mumbled a reply and the stranger opened the door slightly. When he saw I was sitting up, he opened the door and I looked up at him, regretting it instantly, because the action made my nausea worsen and my head throb harder. Groaning again, the man in front of me grinned.
"That bad?"
I grumbled something and nodded, glad that I hadn't been taken home by some stranger. I had been lucky to be found by a friend. I never had been that drunk before, and it would have been hell if I had been found by some obsessed fan. After a fight with Megumi, I had rushed out and went inside my favourite bar. I had been drinking until the bartender had deemed me drunk enough. He had refused to give me any more. So I figured I should go out and drink some more elsewhere. But I had tripped on my way out, and somebody, probably the same man that stood in front of me now, had caught me just before I hit the ground.
"Arigatou." I said. I believed my gratitude was in order. He had no less than saved me.
"Hontou ni arigatou."
"It's fine, Haido. I'm glad I was there to help." His deep voice was cheerful, and his grin slightly mocking. It was what I was used to. From Gackt, I didn't expect anything else.
But his facial expression changed, and what I saw there, I didn't believe at first. It was sheer worry and sadness. It wasn't like him. I've never seen him worry like that over someone. But I never really saw him privately like this. We had gone out with some friends before, or just with the two of us, but he was always careful not to drop the gleeful mask on his face.
"What happened, Haido? You've never been that drunk."
"Nothing happened." I could hear myself say. I didn't really want to think about what happened with Megumi. It had been another of our useless arguments. She said I was never at home, never there for her. She accused me of preferring my job over her. 'You love your job, not me.' Her words still rang through my ears. It made a pang go through my chest. It hurt to hear something like that. But it hurt even more that, somewhere deep inside, I knew she was right.
I didn't love her.
It had been an infatuation. A spur of the moment. Nothing more. I had stayed with her, because that was what was expected from me. I was a grown up, an idol. I had to be a good example. I had stayed because I was afraid to hurt her. And, truthfully – despite my appearances, I was somewhat afraid of what people would think. I was afraid of being alone and shunned.
Yesterday had been the last of our arguments. I knew it was the end of our marriage. I was a fool to marry her in the first place.
"Haido…" Gackt's voice was filled with concern. He took the last few steps and sat down by my legs. He gently laid a hand on my leg, and that simple action made me feel slightly better. It made me feel loved again. I realized how foolish it had been of me to think I would lose everyone, if I had left Megumi. Gackt had been such a good friend, even though we didn't see each other regularly because of our busy schedules. I should have know he wouldn't have shunned me.
"Tell me, please. I hate to see you like this. You look utterly broken."
I hadn't even realized I looked anywhere near that. I had always thought I could hide my feelings well enough. Gackt seemed to notice my surprise.
"You hide it well, but I can see it in your eyes, Haido."
He was being so worried. It was nothing like him. I wasn't used to it. He was so gentle and sensitive to my feelings. He wasn't really forcing me to talk, but his eyes seemed to coerce me into doing so. I suddenly felt the urge to throw it all out. I knew I could trust him. I knew it, and still, I didn't have the strength to go over it all again.
"Megumi…" I uttered softly. My voice was hoarse and my throat dry.
"You two had a fight?" I nodded my reply, and Gackt smiled sympathetically.
"I'm sure it will be okay. Every couple fights every once in a while. You've been together for so long, you'll last." It wasn't an empty consolation. The sincerity in his voice and eyes was palpable.
I shook my head. "Not this time. She was right." I didn't love her. She didn't deserve the pain I put her through.
"Haido…" Gackt's voice trailed off in slight disbelieve. I looked up into his eyes again, wondering what he wanted to say, when I suddenly felt I had started to cry. My hand went up and I could feel the wetness of my tears staining my fingers. Now that I had realized I had started to let my tears out, I couldn't hold them back anymore. I let out a silent sob, not caring about it, not even feeling slightly embarrassed. I had a feeling Gackt wouldn't hold it against me. I started shaking a little as my tears rolled down my cheek. It had been so long since I had cried. I probably hadn't since my teenage years.
Gackt surprised me by drawing me into his arms, embracing me softly and rubbing soothing circles on my back. My arms stayed limp by my sides, but my head was resting on the younger man's shoulders. We stayed like that for what seemed hours. My tears were wetting his black shirt, and I let out a sob once in a while. When my tears had run dry, and my sobs silent, Gackt gently pushed my shoulders and lifted my head with one hand. My red, tear stained eyes met his blue ones. He smiled down at me reassuringly.
I started to talk. I told him everything that had happened. I told him about our argument, about how I rushed out and went drinking. I told him that she had been right.
"I never really loved her. I hate myself for causing her such pain. I never loved her, Gacchan."
"It will be alright, Haido. You can't help the way you feel. If you don't love her, so be it. It happens, Haido."
"I was scared to leave. I couldn't bear the thought of being shunned because of it. I'm afraid to be alone again, Gakuto." I took in a large breath and shifted my gaze down again.
"You won't be alone, Haido. You have your friends. We will always be here. I will always be here. There will be a time you'll even get sick of me being here."
Gackt joked a bit. He was trying to lighten up the mood. I caved in and smiled up at him.
"Arigatou." My voice a whisper again. I felt slightly uncomfortable. I was so lucky to have a friend like him.
Translation notes for the japanese words. I hope I didn't make mistakes, because that would be totally stupid, for they are just words (maybe the o and ou because I never remember what has long o's... )
1. Daijobu ka? 'Are you alright?'
2. Arigatou 'Thank you'
3. Hontou ni arigatou Eh... Something like 'I really mean it. Thank you.'
I almost never use Japanese in my English fics but I think it is acceptable in dialogue.
PLEASE REVIEW? PRETTY PLEASE? NO? GODDAMNIT-GO-REVIEW-NOW-OR-I-WILL-KICK-YOUR-BUTT-AND-WON'T-GIVE-YOU-ANY-MORE-GAKUHAI-AGAIN! ^^
just kidding.. my life would probably be over with no GakuHai xD 3
love,
Eadwine
