Why?

Written by: SotMoon

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters based in this story. After all, this is a Harry Potter Fic you are reading…

Authors Note: Hi everyone. Just a warning. I don't think this fic will be pretty. In fact, I don't mean it to be. I don't want it to be one of those cliché, "I did something bad and I learned my lesson," bullshit. I want this to be the truth, because frankly, I'm pissed off. Mostly at my friend Nikki. Personally , I wouldn't call her a friend anymore. Truthfully, if I saw her on the street, I'd just walk by not saying a word. What she did to me…the horribleness of it is too…I don't know…beyond words. She said she'd quit doing what she was doing, but yet…she kept doing it. So now…GOODBYE NIKKI. YOU ARE DEAD TO ME NOW.

I can't believe this is happening. was the only thought that whispered through my mind all throughout the week. I can't believe she did something so stupid. I was there to help her, I could have made things better! Why didn't she ask me for help? Why didn't she ask anyone for help? The thoughts made me angry, I could cry…I could pound the shit out of anything. Anything just to get the thoughts of out my mind.

It had been two years since the falling of the Dark Lord, but he wasn't the only one that perished in the battle. Many friends, family members, loved ones…it was more than a person could take. Most people got over their losses, moved on in life. Got new friends, thinking that it would cover up the hurt and hate they felt for losing a loved one. Everyone moved on but Hermione Granger. Hurt, confused, and angry is what she felt when she lost her love in the final battle. Not only did she blame Voldemort, but she blamed Harry. She felt that it was his fault, that if he would have been quicker, if he'd have killed Voldemort earlier, that her love wouldn't have needed to stand up in the final battle to duel to the death with the Death Eaters that still followed Voldemort.

It was all that I could stand to sit by and watch her suffer silently. She and I would have felt better if she would have screamed, cried, been angry. But she held her suffering in silence. People thought she would eventually get over it, immersing herself into books as she always did with the rest of her problems…they were wrong. She went a different path.

Instead she lost herself in different things, muggle drugs. Potions…I feel so stupid not realizing what was happening. The pale color of her face, the bruises…I should have known. She slowly started slipping away from me, like sand leaking out between your fingers. I tried to help her, to get her help…any muggle facility…a clinic, anything. She just looked at me like I was crazy.

"Nothings wrong," she said coldly, eyeing me with those now cruel brown eyes that used to be so loving. "Just mind your own business."

I tried to forget her, tried to focus on other things, but yet I couldn't. The thought of her putting something into her body that shouldn't be there was just wrong. I couldn't take it.

"Please, Hermione," I begged one evening. "Please stop. If you care for me at all…stop."

"I gave up on caring along time ago." She took out a cigarette and lit it, she blew the smoke in my face and walked away.

So now here I stand…cold…alone, almost lifeless. The wind billows through my hair and I try to think about the times that we did have. Laughter…fun, good memories. But yet all that filters through is the look of pain on her face…and the relief she looks like she has on her face as she lays cold and lifeless in the casket at my feet.

"Good-bye, 'Mione." I whispered as I let the rose in my hands fall between my fingers and onto her crossed hands. I took one last look at one of my best friends, and walked away.

Authors Note: Well…it sucked. It wasn't mean…I don't know. I just fucking hate Nikki right now. Now I'm expecting flamers being like, "Blah blah blah…you don't know how you are supposed to feel. Fuck you sideways, etc." but you know what…I don't give a damn. This was out here for me. Oh well. Au Revior.

Review. Whatever