AN: Please don't be hard on me. This is my first fic. I like Hidasaku (don't love... yet)

Edited: 27th of September '09. The chapter makes a lot more sense now and is a bit longer than before, and it includes a battle.

Time: After time-skip (after Asuma dies) (Edit: though Kakuzu is still alive which I will explain later on)

Rating: T for swearing and minor situations.

Bold-Thinking

IS: - inner Sakura talking

Anything in Italics - flashback

"talking" - talking

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto (only in my dreams).

Sakura was jumping from branch to branch as fast as she could, intent on escaping the three-bladed scythe being thrown at her. Looking back she mentally swore.

Shit.

She looked behind her and saw that the violet eyed akatsuki FREAK was gaining on her.

Double Shit.

She really wished she had got a different mission now.

Sakura knocked on the door to the Hokage's office, apprehensive about being on another mission so soon after the last one. As she entered she noticed Tsunade standing at the window before said woman turned to face Sakura.

With a jolt Sakura saw that Tsunade's face was extremely serious, lines that usually didn't show appearing on her otherwise tireless face.

Tsunade sighed. She knew that her apprentice would be unhappy about the upcoming mission.

"Come in."

"You called Tsunade-shishou".

"Hai. Sakura. I have a mission for you, or more specifically you will be joining a few… well… special teams for the upcoming mission."

Sakura after quickly analyzing her words was startled by the implications. Her, joining ANBU teams on a mission.

"These ANBU teams are going on a special reconnaissance mission involving Akatsuki. They are going to attempt capturing a pair. You and a few other medics are going to be stationed along the north-eastern border, due to the nature of this particular pair."

"Whom are we talking about?"

"The most recently discovered pair, one which we know quite a lot about, thanks to their near defeat at hands of Shikamaru, Kakashi, Ino, Chouji and Naruto. In other words, Hidan and Kakuzu."

Well that explains why we need medics.

IS: Yeah probably for the murdering bastards as well as ANBU.

That's quite a disturbing thought, that even ANBU might have problems against them.

Tsunade interrupted the mental conversation by handing Sakura four scrolls."

"These are the mission details and you should bring the three extras to your fellow medics. Explain the situation to them as discreetly as possible I don't want Akatsuki to be tipped off about this mission."

Sakura turned to go briefly glancing at the names on the scrolls to determine where she was headed to.

"Oh and before you go, there has been a rumour that Kakuzu has gained some more hearts. Expect injuries from burns to bust organs."

Sakura groaned. That complicates just about everything. Not that I wasn't going to be prepared.

IS: Oh really?

Sakura decided it wasn't worth fighting with herself. She wouldn't win anyway.

Thinking back on that conversation hurt, now that Sakura knew she was going to die. The crazy masochistic arsehole had appeared out of nowhere surprising the medics in their preparations, slaughtered the other three and was now chasing after Sakura. They were currently racing towards Konoha as fast as her feet could carry her.

I'm done for. She realised with a sinking feeling. Konoha was still hours away and Hidan was slowly catching up, and the scythe was only missing her by centimeters, and in some cases millimeters.

Reflecting on this instant distracted her and she failed to notice the scythe coming straight for her head from behind until the last moment. Oddly enough, the blades weren't facing her way, something she had failed to notice before, yet the pole to which they were attached to still hit her head with a hollow thunk and her world went mercifully black.

Her mission had failed before it had even begun.

Hidan looked at the girl (she seriously couldn't be called a woman) lying at his feet.

She was small, probably only 5.3, her pink locks spread around her.

There was something about her, something that just completely pissed him off, not nearly enough as much as Kakuzu did, and in addition he couldn't fucking well kill her.

"Stupid bubblegum-haired bitch!"

He chucked her over his shoulder, frowning. She was surprisingly heavy for being a tiny bitch.

"Stupid mission."

Kakuzu had unceremoniously dragged Hidan into 'the office' aka Pein's little hideout. Hidan was screaming his head off about Kakuzu interrupting his ritual, as per usual and Kakuzu was ignoring him, as per usual.

Pein sighed, he really didn't have time for this. "Hidan shut up." Surprisingly it worked, though for other reasons than expected. Kakuzu had sown Hidan's mouth shut.

Pein reminded himself to give Kakuzu a reward someday for putting up with the religious idiot. Clearing his throat he set about explaining their next mission to them.

"Recently I obtained information about a supposed Ambush for you two. Two ANBU teams will be defending your next bounty, although they will be disguised as normal civilian guards. They have a medic team on Konoha's border to back them up. One of you will distract the ANBU with assistance from another pair, and one of you will go to the medics and kill all of them except one. This one you have to knock unconscious and kidnap. She should be easy enough to spot, as she has pink hair. I leave it up to you to decide which other team goes with you, and who kidnaps the girl."

Feeling accomplished at keeping a meeting that included Hidan shorter than ten minutes (although not by his own hand), Pein exited the room leaving the two to their inevitably following Argument.

Unfortunately Hidan had drawn the short straw in having to kidnap the girl, though there was some divine retribution.

Itachi and Kisame weren't at headquarters, and neither was Zetsu, the only people left had been Deidara and Tobi, who as a consequence had to join Kakuzu in their impromptu mission.

As he had thought, divine justice.

Chuckling ,whilst thinking of Kakuzu's annoyance at having two loud annoying idiots to deal with, Hidan jumped into the trees carrying Akatsuki's unfortunate captive away with him.

AN: Ok. Edited to become hopefully more realistic, in case anyone reads this I am editing all the chapters, and the hiatus is going to be lifted soon. I'll be editing one or two chapters a day, and after they are all edited the next chapter will be published.

An unfortunate side-effect of revising this story is that it might become less funny.

Lina