This story begins at the point in New Moon when Edward phones Bella's house, believing she is dead. What would happen if Jacob didn't answer that call?
Bella's POV
My stillness belied the frantic indecision which was raging within me. Jacob's hands were hot against my face and his mouth was moving towards mine, slowly but surely. "Bella", he whispered. I couldn't reject him now; I had caused him too much pain already. And I didn't even know anymore whether I wanted to turn him away. Loving Jake would be so easy, so totally natural, so.....right. It wasn't as though I was betraying anybody. Just the memories that only I held onto......dreams of a future that could never now happen.
Gently, Jake's lips pressed against mine and in that moment all indecision was gone. How could I ever have doubted that this was completely meant to be? Jake and I were a perfect fit. If vampires had never come to Forks, I would probably have realised that months ago. As I began to kiss Jacob back, it felt like coming home. A growl rumbled through his chest, reverberating through me as he felt my enthusiasm, and his kisses became more urgent. His hands moved to pull me closer and I allowed myself to be enveloped by him.
Suddenly the phone rang, making us jump. I felt Jacob release me with one hand to grab the receiver, but his lips were still moving against mine and I wasn't ready to stop. "Leave it", I ordered and pulled his arm back to my waist, entwining my fingers roughly in his hair. The ringing ended abruptly with a clatter.
"Oh Jake", I moaned. I couldn't get enough of him. His lips were warm and soft, and so deliciously.....moreish! I had never been kissed like this before and I was greedy for the feelings that were flooding through me. Suddenly I was alive again, like I had just woken from a coma. Every cell in my body was tingling. Our entangled bodies slid down to the kitchen floor and I gasped as the cold tiles pressed against my back. Jake pulled back and grinned at me. I saw the joy in his eyes and returned his smile.
"I knew that you loved me", he gloated.
"I always loved you, silly", I breathed. "I just had stuff to work out. Now stop talking...I want you to kiss me again."
I moaned as Jacob slipped his large warm hands around my back underneath my shirt. They burned against my skin and I arched my back, pressing myself against his body.
"You are so beautifully warm", I purred as he nuzzled my neck. "I could just stay in your arms forever."
"Fine by me", he replied. And then in a slightly more serious tone he added "I will never leave you, Bella.....I promise you that."
"Good", I smiled and began to kiss his bare chest as I ran my fingers over his warm skin, marvelling at the new sensation.
As I lay in Jacob's arms I was overcome by the feeling of total happiness and contentment that I hadn't felt for so many months. We kissed, feverishly at times and at others with heart wrenching tenderness, for what seemed like hours but was probably only a few minutes. We talked of love, of happiness, of the future, but not of the past. That was irrelevant now. It would no doubt raise its ugly head again at some point but for now we were just Bella & Jacob, in love and discovering each other.
Suddenly Jacob tensed and almost at the same time, someone cleared their throat across the room. Startled, I looked up from my reverie to see Alice standing in the living room, smiling apologetically at me. Jacob was on his feet in an instant and darted for the back door, muttering something about seeing me later. I looked sheepishly at Alice, feeling like I had been caught doing something embarrassing....which I suppose I had.
"Sorry, but I think you may have missed something", she said cryptically, nodding towards the kitchen floor behind me. I had no idea what she was talking about and turned to follow her gaze. Oh, the telephone....it must have been Alice who had called when I was....otherwise engaged.
"Sorry Alice", I smiled as I stood up. "I was kinda distracted."
"I think you had better pick it up, Bella." She replied, shaking her head slightly.
I was confused by her expression but did as she suggested, putting the receiver to my ear and listening. Nothing.
"It's dead", I reported back to Alice. She simply shook her head again, frowning.
I listened again to the receiver and said "Hello?" quietly, a sense of dread starting to creep over me. Silence again. But then a small sound, barely audible. It could only be described as whimpering...the saddest, most pitiful sound I had ever heard. I leaned against the cupboards and slowly sank to the floor as realisation hit me. I cradled the phone to my ear as my tears started to flow.
"Edward, is that you?"
Edward's POV
Please God, don't let it be true. There has to have been a mistake. Rosalie must be wrong. Bella wouldn't leave Charlie like that. Please Bella. My darling, beautiful Bella. You can't be dead. I'm so sorry Bella....so sorry. I love you. I was coming back to you my darling. I was wrong to leave. Please, please.......Bella. I can't live without you.
I would go to Volterra. I would beg the Volturi to kill me.
But what if Rosalie was wrong? What if my beautiful Bella was still alive? I had to call her house and find out for myself. The first time I dialled, I hung up before it started ringing. What would I say to Charlie? I would be the last person he would want to speak to. I dialled the number again and prayed that Bella would answer. That it was all a terrible waking nightmare.
The number rang twice before connecting and then I heard the voice I had longed to hear.
"Leave it", Bella said.
Oh God, thank you. She is alive. I would kill Rosalie for putting me through this.
I was about to speak....to beg Bella for forgiveness. To tell her I was coming back if she would have me. That I couldn't live another hour without her. I froze.
She was not alone. And from the sounds I was hearing, she was with a man. Oh dear God, some man was making love to her.
"I always loved you, silly", she said. "I just had stuff to work out. Now stop talking...I want you to kiss me again."
Was Ithe "stuff" she was talking about? Had she gotten over me just as I had planned she should? Who was this man she had "always loved"? I cringed as her heard her moans of pleasure. Memories of her soft, warm embraces flooded my senses. I could smell her scent. I could feel her lips against mine, her body against mine. I pictured her chocolate eyes gazing at another man and I almost gagged.
"You are so beautifully warm", she breathed. "I could just stay in your arms forever."
Not a vampire then. Stupid thought....of course she wouldn't be making love to a vampire. Even if she could find one civilised enough, masochistic enough to love a human.....why would she choose ice-cold embraces over warm, human ones?
"Fine by me", the guy replied. "I will never leave you, Bella.....I promise you that."
This was no casual fling then. Whoever this man was, he sounded sincere. He was pledging himself to her as I had. Making the same promises I had made and foolishly broken. And he clearly knew that some idiot had left her, hurt her. This was unbearable, and yet I continued to listen to this intimate conversation. Why couldn't I just hang up?
"Good", Bella said.
She trusted him. She sounded happy. She didn't love or need me anymore. Wasn't this what I had wanted for her? To have a normal human life and be safe. As long as she was alive, I could be happy for her. I could endure my pain because it was the right thing to do. But, for the love of all that is holy, did it have to hurt this much????? I wanted to howl and wail, but I was frozen, listening to their declarations of love, their hopes and dreams for the future together.
Moments passed. Someone new was speaking but I was too lost to pay attention now. Buried in my grief....Bella was alive but somehow this was even worse than believing her dead.
Suddenly Bella's voice became clearer, closer. "Hello?" she whispered. She was talking to me now, waiting for a response. I couldn't speak....I didn't know what to say. The possibilities spun through my head......hello?.....goodbye?......I love you?......I'm sorry? None of them seemed right, so I said nothing.
I realised that this was probably the last time I would hear her voice. The pain of eternity without her brought me to my knees and I cried.
"Edward, is that you?" Bella's voice sounded thick with emotion.
Yes, yes, my darling.