Disclaimer; usual stuff i own nothing, wish i did but sadly i do not!
A/N; this is my first shot at comedy so please R/R!
Ianto was in a very bad mood today, he was simply furious with everyone inside the Hub, including; humans, immortals, aliens and pterodactyls.
He was angry at Toshiko because she asked to borrow his iPod to 'make some adjustments'. When he got back he found he no longer needed headphones, the device was stuck on one volume – loud and it only played 'Man I feel like a woman – by Shania Twain'. This song, despite what Owen said, was not on there to begin with. He might have forgiven this if it wasn't for the fact that he discovered the improvements while standing inline at a busy coffee shop.
He was angry at Gwen because three days ago she asked him too look at wedding locations for her. She gave him a list on what she wanted and needed at the location, she also asked for him to get quotes. Ianto had spent every spare moment he got researching for her. So three days and eight paper cuts later he walked up to Gwen holding his findings, five locations fitting all of her specifications and coming well under budget. Gwen greeted him by saying; "Ianto, I was just about too come and see you. My cousin found this great place in the country for my wedding, I think I am going to go with that one it really is lovely." Ianto decided not to tell her that he found the same place but cheaper.
He was angry at Jack because he bored just before twelve so he thought he would play with MYFAWNY. Apparently he thought that she wouldn't mind being hit in the head by a rubber ball. The result was MYFAWNY swooping down in an angry fit, destroying half of the Hub in the process. Ianto was left to clean up the mess Jack slowed the process down completely by making inappropriate comments about how sexy Ianto was when he was angry. Ianto got so frustrated with Jacks behaviour that the Captain was banished from the Hub until Ianto had finished cleaning.
He was angry at Owen because the young doctor pressed the wrong buttons down in the cells which resulted in Janet being let loose inside the Hub. Ianto was left to recapture Janet by himself because not only did Owen let Janet out, he locked himself, Toshiko, Gwen and Jack in. three hours later Ianto finally caught Janet again. She had a lot of built up energy and ran through every room in the Hub (thankfully not the archives). When he finally locked Janet up he mumbled;
"I need coffee"
"Thanks Ianto, spending three hours in a confined space with Jack is not something I want to do ever again." Said Owen when Ianto finally let them out
Ianto merely grunted in reply and slammed his way out of the room.
"Jack, go try and cheer him up."
"Yeah go on Jack" said Owen "if we're not careful he'll put cyanide in all our coffees."
"Oh no, you are not leaving me alone with him." Said Jack fear-stricken
"Is ickle-Jacky scared of the big bad tea-boy?" said Owen with a smile
"Yep"
"Owen opened his mouth to say something but his words were drowned out by a scream from up above. Toshiko, Owen, Gwen and Jack wasted no time in getting their guns ready and running towards the disturbance.
When they arrived at the source of the scream they found Ianto staring dumb-founded at the coffee machine.
"Ianto?"
"Janet … up here … coffee … shuldmattak." Saw all that Ianto could get out
By the looks of it when Janet was on her rampage around the Hub, she thought it would be a good idea to throw a brick at the coffee machine, rendering it useless.
Today really wasn't Ianto's day.