Okay, so this is literally my English assignment from this term. We were studying myths and legends and were essentially told to write a PJO fanfic with original characters and plot. Me being me, was all like "Let's post this on 'coz why not?" I'm sorry it's crappy, we had a limit of two thousand words. But... yeah.

My Apollo-gy Run

"Cluck cluck cluck, clu-cluck!"

"Yes, I can s-"

"Cluck cluck!"

"No lord. I wasn't making fun of you, I was just-"

"Cluck. Cluckety cluck cluck cluck."

"Look, I'm here to apologise for your - ahem - current state of being."

"Buck, buck, bruck."

This is what they always say.

"My lord Apollo, I am fully aware that my mother, despite her being Nemesis, had no right to do this to you," I calmly say, my words full of experience. "But surely a god as powerful as you, Apollo, could just change themselves back."

Alright, I was laying it on a bit thick, but this guy… His ego was as big as Narcissus'.

As if just to prove me wrong, the little chicken standing in front of me became very interested in the ground. He made a sort of incoherent grumbling noise.

"I'm sorry. I didn't catch that."

"Buck," He wined.

"What do you mean you can't?" I asked, "Gods are supposed to be able to do practically everything." Well not everything, but should they be able to un-chicken themselves? Yes. The answer is yes.

"Cluck buck cluck-cluck! Buckety cluckety brrruck!"

"An apology quest? I don't know. Quests aren't really my forte."

The god made more chicken noises. Honestly he was getting quite irritating. I started tuning him out, until something he said caught my attention.

"Wait a minute. Swear on the river Styx?" Is that really necessary? "Look, if it means that much to you, sure. I, Camille Nicholi Gorelli, swear on the river Styx to…" I trailed off. At that point, I had no clue what Apollo wanted me to do. Please gods, don't make me regret this.

"Cluck" He sighed through his nose. Annoyance apparent. "Buck bruck bruck."

"I swear to retrieve dew off a Medaffodil," What in Olympus is a Medaffodil? "From the summit of Mt Rainier to free the 'Mighty Lord Apollo'"

Yeah, I was definitely going to regret this.

…

At first, I started the trek up the mountain with a group of exercise junkies, but quickly fell behind due to my lack of physical fitness. (Yes they do train us at camp, but it's optional okay.) After a couple hours, I must have taken a wrong turn. Call it intuition, but it was clear, I was not on any sort of intended path.

At least if I died, no one would be around to see it.

…

During the night, I woke to a rustling and rubbing against the side of my tent. Curious and wanting to make it go away, I reluctantly rose to check it out. There was nothing there.

"Arrgh" I groaned. Why did I agree to do this?

I heard the snow crunch further to my left.

Pretty soon, the creature and I were in a game of cat and mouse. It stopped in front of me. I could vaguely make out its chestnut coloured fur. A fox. The fox made a noise almost like a chuckle. Then it ran, prompting me to follow.

It was teasing now, and my Nemesis side came out. I had to catch it.

The fox literally slipped out of my fingers. Twice, almost as if it knew it couldn't be caught. I had done this before. I knew it was possible, but with this animal, it seemed like it wasn't. What kind of fox couldn't be hunted?

The Teumessian Fox.

Legend says it was sent to punish a city, as it could never be caught. If it was there, that means Laelaps couldn't be far behind. The dog who always caught what it hunted, was sent by the city in an attempt to expel the fox.

It was too late before I realised what I had done. In chasing the creature, I had spent gods know how long exhausting myself. In the darkness along with newly fallen snow, I didn't know which direction I came from or which I should be going in.

I noticed it looking at me. Head tilted and a smirk on it's face. When I heard the growling behind me, it registered that the fox wasn't smiling at me. My facial expression changed dramatically, from satisfaction to realisation, causing them both to burst out laughing.

Apparently they hadn't seen each other in a while. Almost as soon as he came into view, Laelaps circled me once, then immediately started up a conversation with the fox.

I had to escape. If I ran, the dog would just chase me, and I was guaranteed dead meat. No, I needed a distraction.

While they recalled their days in Greece, I ransacked my brain, trying to remember the legend of Laelaps and The Teumessian Fox.

What happened?

When Zeus learned of what the city had done, he saw that a paradox had formed. The hunt would go on forever if an animal who could never be caught, fell prey to one who caught everything it hunted. He turned them to stone, then to constellations. Canis Major and Canis Minor.

Right, I could use that. A child of Nemesis. I knew how minds craving revenge and justice worked.

I cleared my throat, drawing attention to my presence. "Sorry for the interruption," I spoke, "But why are you two working together? Surely there must be some dispute between the two of you."

"You would think that wouldn't you, demigod." Laelaps responded. "We've had millennia to get over it, and once we did, the gods kindly restored us to our physical bodies."

"I see," I replied, "So then once you realised you would never catch the Teumessian Fox, you gave up. That's admirable. Not letting pride get in the way,"

"Hey, see here. That's not what happened!"

You could hear the fox snickering in the background. "Oh really?" he asked, "What did happen then?"

It was working

"What happened was I decided to be merciful and stop chasing you." The dog scoffed, then muttered, "All a creature such as you can do is run away. At least a true animal, such as I, can actually achieve something."

"Excuse me! Who was the one that lured the demigod here? Oh yeah, me." He returned, "I bet you wouldn't even be able to lure a rock here."

"Oh, I 'wouldn't be able to lure a rock'" Laelaps imitated the fox's voice. "Well then, I bet you wouldn't even be able to catch a rock!" He argued.

Pleased my plan was working, I interrupted, "Hey now, nobody is better than the other. You're working as a team to kill me." They made noises of approval, acknowledging my statement to be true. "But," I added, "The Teumessian Fox does have point..."

"What in Hades is that supposed to mean?!"

"Well," I replied "You never really did catch him in the end. So, doesn't that mean his gift is greater than yours?"

"That's not what happened!" Laelaps whined again. "It was tactical planning on my part, okay? Whose side are you on anyway?"

I assured them I was only on justices side. "I am a daughter of Nemesis you know," If the creatures had eyebrows, they would've been risen in disbelief. "But still…" I drawled out, "It isn't exactly fair, is it?

"What isn't fair?"

"Well, the whole constellation thing. I mean you," I addressed the fox, "You out witted Laelaps without a problem. While he struggled to complete his job, you did yours without even breaking a sweat."

"Well," he interrupted, "I wouldn't say 'without a problem'"

"Stop being modest. You did your duty without so much as a hitch." I said.

"Yeah," agreed the animal "I guess I did."

"And then you were turned into the Canis minor constellation. How is that fair? It is simply appalling on the gods' part"

And thus, my escape went as planned. The two continued bickering even worse than before. Eventually the Teumessian fox provoked Laelaps enough so that he pounced. That tied the knot. Once again, the fox was the dog's prey, and the paradox took place. That was enough to distract them for a few more years, or at least until Zeus turns them to stone. It left me free to walk away unharmed.

…

At about midday, I was beginning to feel famished. During the hours I chased the fox, I travelled very far away from my campsite. That left me with no water, food, or equipment besides what I had on me. As I mentioned before, I was not exactly in peak physical condition, and I needed to take a break.

I approached a large pine tree, intending to lean against its wide trunk while I caught my breath. Instead, I approached the tree, got three feet away from it, then the floor literally gave way beneath me.

Well crap. I fell into a tree well.

I was fairly sure Chiron had taught the other demigods at Camp Half Blood, and myself, how to safely get out of the pitfall like death traps. We were practically forced to take all extreme survival classes, even though majority of the campers only stayed during the summer.

Step 1: Understand what will happen. Alright, at least I had that one covered.

Step 2: Don't panic. Step 3: Become a tree hugger. I blindly reached into the direction I thought the trunk was in. When I felt bark at my fingertips, I could feel the relief wash over me. I latched onto the tree. It was the only thing stopping me from falling even deeper into the snow.

Step 4 was to look for air pockets. I knew that moving too much would just cause more of the powder to bury me, so I slowly and gently moved my head from side to side. This packed the snow into a dome shape around my head. Just enough for me to breath without inhaling the frozen water.

Steps 5 and 6: Make a decision, 'believe in yourself and stay determined!' Chiron's voice ran through my mind, reminding me what I was doing here in the first place. I had to get out of this hole, grab a flower, and bring back a vile of its dew to di-chicken a god. All that just because I was stupid enough to swear it on the river Styx. Oh yeah, I was regretting it. When I got back, I was going to make Chiron promise to never send me on a quest ever again.

I slowly turned myself in the snow so that I was upright. Then, it took all my energy, but I steadily pulled myself up the pine trunk. When I reached the opening, I madly ran away from the small grouping of trees and into the nearest clearing I could.

In my opinion, I think I executed step 7 quite nicely: Get the hell away from that hole.

…

In my haste to follow the final step, I ran up a small hill that formed on the mountain. I tripped at the top and stumbled down, surely collecting more than a small amount of white powder on my fall. At the bottom of the valley I halted and came face to face with a field of off-yellow flowers. They were a bit like medallion coloured daffodils.

Medaffodils

I had done it. I completed my first quest - mostly. I just had to collect some dew off the pedals, climb back down the mountain, and get Apollo to drink it. Easy peasy.

I quickly took a selfie with the field - What? Who climbs to the top of a mountain and doesn't take a photo? Don't judge me, it was a proud moment - filled a small vial with the desired liquid and went on my way, excited to get it it over with.

…

Watching Apollo greedily guzzle down the dew was possibly the most satisfying thing I had ever witnessed. Watching him morph from chicken form to humanoid, however, was possibly the most disgusting thing I had ever witnessed.

"No need to thank me, lord. It was my pleasure." I said, cueing him to reply.

"Ah yes, thank you." The now anthropomorphic god said. "No need to worry, you shall be rewarded for your efforts, even if it was partly your fault to begin with." This warranted a disagreeable eyebrow raise on my part. It seemed that even after experiencing revenge first hand, one would still, always seek someone to point the finger at. In this situation, despite having exactly zero control over my godly parent, it was me.

Still, he continued: "How about I write a ballad narrating your journey. Or better yet, a haiku!"

I was so done with this guy. "My lord, I am deeply sorry. Truly, I am." I said sarcastically, "But this story is Apollo-over."

That drew a full body cringe out of the god. "That was just Apolling!"

"What's that?" I mocked confusion, "You hate bad puns? My Apollo-gies." And with that, I dropped my mic and walked out.

So there we have it. I actually submitted the assignment like three minutes ago and wrote over half of it today. I know I suck. Don't judge me okay. Procrastinating is one of the few things I'm actually good at.

Bai!