Title: Morning Routine
Author: Pinkcat4569
Characters: Emma/Killian, Charming(Charming/Snow mentioned) , Regina/Robin, Ruby
Rating: G/K
Description: There's a new morning ritual that some of the residents of Storybrooke are enjoying. Others, not so much. Silly fun.
Author's Note: Written for OUAT Positivity Week at ouatsafehaven on tumblr. This is for day 2: Friendship Day. Takes place after season 3. Marian is mentioned, but Robin is with Regina. Also briefly mentioned, Killian is a new deputy with the sheriff's office.
Disclaimer: I only write for fun. I don't own OUAT or the characters.
2167 Words
Morning Routine
Emma sat at an outside table at Granny's.
Ruby joined her, grinning.
"Don't," said Emma.
"What?" asked Ruby with a bigger smile. "I'm just here for the morning show."
Emma moaned. "Maybe they won't."
"Oh, they will," said the waitress. "You know it too. That's why you're sitting here."
Emma sighed. "It's so embarrassing."
"You mean awesome," said Ruby, chuckling. "Oh, look, the crowd is beginning to gather."
Around them a few more bodies began to drift toward the gates of Granny's. They were all women.
"You'd think they'd find better forms of entertainment," said the sheriff. "I should make them disperse."
"Granny would kill you. She makes a killing with coffee and danishes."
"Glad this...display...is paying off for someone."
"Oh, no," said another voice as Regina arrived. "Not again. Do something, sheriff."
"What do you suggest?"
"Arrest these...ladies...for loitering."
"They're paying customers," said Ruby.
"Besides, they aren't the problem."
"Then arrest the ones who are for...inciting a riot," said Regina.
Ruby scoffed. "What riot?"
"Fine. Detain them for indecency."
"I can't. They're fully clothed," said Emma. Then she turned pale. "God, I hope they're clothed."
Ruby licked her lips. "Actually..."
"Shut it!" snapped Emma.
Ruby laughed.
Regina stomped her foot with disgust. "I insist this stop. I know. Call your mother."
"She's busy with Neal and short on sleep," said Emma. "She'd kill them."
"And that would be bad?" asked the mayor.
"Sh! I see someone!" cried Ruby.
That's when Emma's father appeared. He strolled down the street with a swagger.
"It's only him today?" asked Regina.
"No way," said Emma, shaking her head with a moan.
David kept sauntering as giggles filled the air in front of Grannys'. There were also appreciative whoops. He didn't seem to notice or care. He kept his cocky stride, passing a mail box.
A mail box that had a former pirate leaning against it, oozing sexiness.
"I knew it," said Emma. "Jeez."
"Where did he come from?" asked Regina.
"I think he hides," said Emma. "He has to make an entrance."
"He does it well," said Ruby, eying Hook up and down.
David didn't break his pace. The captain simply fell along side, easily adopting the same swagger.
Emma rolled her eyes as the duo strutted like they had a rock soundtrack accompanying them. "Honestly, could they be more full of themselves?"
"If you have it, flaunt it," said Ruby. "They have it."
"Ugh," said Emma.
"Hook's hot, and you know it," said Ruby.
"So does he," said Emma.
"Your father's hot too."
"Ruby! Gross!"
"Are they actually bobbing their heads in unison?" asked Regina.
Ruby nodded.
The pair kept strutting. At the opposite end of the street, another male swaggered into view.
"Oh, good, here's the third member of the delusional trio," said Regina.
It was none other than the legendary Robin Hood.
"Darn if he isn't in sync with them," said Ruby.
Emma and Regina were also in sync, shaking their heads and frowning.
Killian and David met Robin in the middle of the street, turning to line up but not breaking their saunter as they faced Granny's.
Then they actually paused at the gate and posed.
There were giggles, smiles, and more than a few ogling stares. Then the women orderly dispersed, happily entertained for the day ahead.
Emma, Regina, and Ruby remained.
Finally Emma spoke. "You've got to stop doing this every morning."
The three men looked at each other.
"Doing what?" asked her father innocently.
Emma scoffed.
"Making a spectacle of yourselves!" yelled Regina.
"I have no idea what you mean, my lady," said Robin.
"Well, luckily for you I have several hours to slowly explain it to you," she said, taking his ear and dragging him away.
Killian made a face. "Poor lad." He smiled at Emma.
"You guys are impossible."
"I have no idea what you mean, Love," said Killian. He turned to her father. "Do you have any notion, Mate?"
David shrugged. "All we did was walk here."
Emma scoffed. "Uh. No that was not walking. That was a show."
Killian smirked. "Did you enjoy it?"
She rolled her eyes. "Please. You looked ridiculous."
He smiled wider, taking a step close to her. "I always look dashing, Swan."
David laughed. "You're over-reacting, honey."
"I'm the one over-reacting?"
Ruby giggled. She got up and moved toward the diner. "Personally, I look forward to it. So does Granny. Morning business is up." She winked at them and walked inside.
Emma stood and sighed. "You need to stop acting like you're..."
"Storybrooke's most wanted?" asked Killian with a smirk.
Emma walked closer and growled. "You'll be less wanted if you don't stop it."
He chuckled. He leaned in and whispered, "I think you're feeling territorial."
"Please."
"If it bothers you so much, Emma," began her dad, "then we'll stop...whatever it is we're doing."
"Walking, apparently," said Killian.
Emma glared at him and walked away.
The two guys waited til she was some distance from them and broke into laughter. "I told you the head bobbing was a bit much," said David.
The pirate nodded. "We never should have let Robin make his grand entrance. He's getting a bit out of hand."
"Robin? You're the one who hides by mail boxes."
The pirate smirked. "Our ladies seemed quite unsettled."
"They did. We should probably stop."
"It would be the gentlemanly thing to do," agreed Killian.
There was a moment of silence.
Then they looked at each other and smiled.
"Same time tomorrow, Mate?"
David laughed and nodded. "We're bad."
Captain Hook agreed. "Scoundrels."
David kept chuckling. Then his phone went off. He looked at the message and frowned. "Mary Margaret says, 'See you and the fellas tonight.' What is she talking about?"
Emma walked up, holding her cell and smirking. "You, Robin, and Captain Strut here have all volunteered to babysit tonight."
Killian rolled his eyes and groaned.
"Meanwhile me, Regina, and Mary Margaret will be enjoying a nice dinner out and maybe some dancing."
"Without us?" asked her father.
Killian scoffed. "You better be dancing solo." He glared at her dancing green eyes.
"That depends..." she said with a bright smile. "Oh, you'll also meet us here tomorrow, early, for breakfast. Ruby will pick you all up and drive you here."
Dave sighed. "You win."
"You've bested me again, Swan," said Killian.
She smiled. "When you will learn, Captain?" She walked off, giggling.
The next morning, the men all sat at an outside table at Granny's. Ruby stood, as if on guard.
"Where are the girls?" asked David.
"Very shoddy," said Hook. "Demanding our presence, then failing to appear."
Ruby smirked. "They're coming."
The men huffed and waited. As they did, they noticed a small group forming.
"Why are there a large amount of men present?" asked Robin.
"Payback," said Ruby, smiling.
"Payback?" asked David.
Ruby smiled wider. "Shoes are on the other foot and it's their turn to strut." She giggled.
Slowly it dawned on the men.
"No..." said David. "They wouldn't."
"Certainly the mayor wouldn't," said Robin. " It's too...undignified, hardly becoming for her ladyship."
"But it's OK for you?" asked Ruby.
Killian groaned. "Swan would do it. Definitely. She'd be aching to rub it in."
David turned to Ruby. "You're a party to this?"
She shrugged. "Sisterhood, you know. Granny's not happy, though. Guys don't buy as much as ladies. They just seem to be here for the show."
"They better bloody not be," sneered Killian, staring daggers at the men.
"I promised no bloodshed, pirate," said Ruby, "but Emma said she'd be the one administering your punishment if you don't comply."
"Bloody woman."
Ruby laughed.
David looked around at the assembling men. "How the hell did they all hear about this so soon?"
"Oh, I spread the word," said Ruby. She smirked and smiled at Dr. Whale and Archie. "I had help."
Killian glared, began to growl and stood up. Archie shrieked and backed away.
Ruby growled back, her eyes blazing. "Down!"
Hook and Ruby stood, facing off for a moment. Finally, David put his hand on Killian's arm and the pirate sat.
"Wait...I see movement," said Robin, looking up the street.
"Here we go," said Ruby.
The men moaned.
Down the street three women pranced into view. Regina and Emma at the sides, Mary Margaret in between. Regina walked proudly, stamping with confidence and regal control.
Mary Margaret walked confidently as well but on occasion she broke into giggles and a few waves. She looked a little less bad ass then the other two.
Emma, for her part, was 'working it;' she walked with sass and attitude. She had all the arrogance of Captain Hook, her eyes icy, walking like she owned Storybrooke.
They approached the center of the street. The men clapping and yelling.
Robin, David, and Killian were red-faced and clearly not enjoying the attention other men paid their women.
"Is it over?" asked Killian, his head in his hands.
Ruby smacked his head. "You're supposed to be watching!"
He reluctantly complied.
"Serves us right, I suppose," said Robin. "Of course, my lady isn't blowing kisses."
"Mary Margaret!" cried Dave, jumping up. "Stop that! Who was she blowing them at?"
Killian laughed. Then Emma caught his eye, licked her lips, and smiled ever so slightly. He growled. "Oh...I've changed my mind. I rather like this." He smirked widely, also licking his lips. "Perhaps this wasn't as well played as they thought."
Robin laughed. "You're right. I find Regina's performance...alluring." He met her eyes and they both smiled.
"I think it's backfiring," said Dave, waving at his wife.
Ruby rolled her eyes. "Men."
Then Emma broke slightly away, strutting more and shaking her hips.
"What the hell!" Hook jumped up. "Stop wiggling in public, Woman!"
Dave and Robin broke out in giggles. "Still enjoying the show, Mate?" asked Robin.
Ruby laughed loudly and whooped.
Killian slumped back down, Dave's hand pushing him once again. "Easy," he said. "She's trying to push your buttons."
"It's working," said Ruby, chuckling. "Still think it wasn't 'well played?"
Killian glared. Then he said loudly. "I can blind the male population of this town very quickly." He smiled wickedly and brandished his hook.
The crowd suddenly paled, grew quiet and scattered.
Dave laughed loudly. "You'll be great at crowd control, Deputy," he said.
Killian smirked. "No bloodshed."
Ruby glared. She shook her head as the other three ladies approached Granny's.
"What happened to our crowd?" asked Mary Margaret, a bit disappointed.
"I guess you just don't have what it takes," said Killian, smiling at Emma.
"Liar. I heard your threat," she said, smirking. "Don't like how I wiggle, huh?" She crouched beside his chair. "I'll remember that."
He smirked back. "In private, I have no problem with how you move."
She blushed.
"So...how did you like it?" asked Regina of Robin. "I can arrange another performance for tomorrow."
He stared for a moment. "You looked lovely, as always. However, in the future, I think we should do our...strolling...as a pair."
She smiled. "Agreed."
He took her arm, nodded to the others, and walked away with his lady.
"You know," said Mary Margaret, "I kind of understand why you guys were into that. It was fun!"
"I know," said David, smirking. "It gets the blood going."
"It does!" She threw her arms around her husband and they giggled.
"Your mother seems to understand," said Killian.
"Yeah, but she didn't catch your act," said Emma.
"True," said Mary Margaret. She grabbed David's chin. "And I never will."
He laughed. "Promise."
Then she blushed and whispered, "Unless you feel like showing me your stuff in private."
David giggled with her. "I can do that. What do you say we collect our son from Marian and go home?"
"Excuse me? We have a long day ahead!" cried Emma.
"I'm sure our new deputy can help cover for me," David replied, nodding at Killian.
He smiled. "I've got your back."
"What?" asked Emma, as her parents walked off.
Killian chuckled. "This did backfire, huh?"
"No," she said, sitting beside him. "I got what I wanted. The Storybrooke Marchers have disbanded."
"I was going with the 'Strut Brigade,' myself," Killian said with a smirk.
Emma chuckled. "You would. Well, come on. The sheriff's office is down a man."
They stood and Killian pulled her into his arms. "We'll be all alone."
She smirked and kissed him. "Good point. Let's go."
They walked toward the sheriff's office, hand in hand.
The End